Chapter XVIII: Now We're Even
(Daphne P.O.V)
When Tracey had awoken, Daphne couldn't fight back the pain she felt in her chest seeing the heartbreak in her best friend's eyes. She was the Ice-Queen, a stone-cold bitch, but when it came to Tracey or Astoria, she was melted quickly. Daphne had held Tracey as she cried, unable to give her a clear understanding of what had happened to Blaise's soul. It wasn't gone, according to Madam Pomfrey she had detected traces of it in the boy, but it seemed to be uncentered, unattached, freely roaming rather than being kept in place. Pomfrey had dubbed it the roaming soul, and despite the medi-witches many years of study, she had never seen a situation where a dementor's kiss was performed but interrupted before completion, Blaise was the subject of seemingly unventured territory.
As a student of medicine, Daphne had found the condition interesting, it was something that to the knowledge of the medical world was never seen before, and had it been someone she hadn't cared about, it would have been fascinating. But seeing it was Blaise, her friend, Daphne had never found anything less amusing. Daphne had long thought she was a bad friend despite Tracey's reassurance that she wouldn't want to have anyone else but never had she felt as awful as when she held her crying friend, wanting to, but having no idea how to console her.
Daphne had been escorted out of the hospital wing the following morning, and while Astoria was clearly happy to see her, Tracey had demanded that she stay by Blaise's side and that had left Daphne feeling especially lonely in the Slytherin Common Room. Nobody had made a sound, nobody had even turned to look at her, Draco had whispered something into the ear of another Slytherin, but Daphne didn't care about the Blonde git any longer, she had more pressing issues, Daphne returned to her desk, opening her notebook on all the medical knowledge she had read, surely, she had hoped, surely something about Blaise's condition would be in there.
Astoria's blood curse would always be important to her, but for now, at least, Astoria had time, and while Astoria was her family, so was Tracey. She glared down at her notebook as she whispered, "I will save you, Blaise, I swear it."
Monday morning had come, and with it, a new set of problems. Though she hadn't been looking for him, based on the expressions she saw from Corner, Longbottom, and Astoria, Harry was seemingly nowhere to be found. The thought of Harry had also reminded her not just of her previous life-debt, but the one she most certainly owed the Gryffindor boy now having read Skeeter's report in the Daily Prophet. Even if the prissy witch had exaggerated the relationship between her and Harry, that picture of Harry standing between her and the swarm of dementors was all she needed to confirm that to her great displeasure, she once again owed the boy.
Pulling an empty notebook from her drawer, she began to transcribe the potions notes she had promised him and slid it into her bookbag before beginning to get ready for the day. It had taken her longer than usual to perfect the Ice Queen expression as hints of sadness kept leaking in, but after nearly twenty minutes, Daphne was in uniform and had regained the cold, emotionless face that she was renowned for. She took a deep breath as she turned to face Tracey's empty bed, and while she wanted to eat her breakfast, she had one more stop to make.
As she arrived at the infirmary, she had found Tracey where she had left her, sitting motionlessly on the wooden chair beside her boyfriend's bed. Tracey's hand glided between Blaise's nimble finger, muttering something incoherent to Daphne into Blaise's ear. She leaned up against one of the support pillars in the infirmary as she spoke softly, "Any updates?"
Tracey looked up at her, and Daphne's heart broke at the redness in her friend's eyes, and the colorless tone of her friend's skin. Daphne had always considered Tracey a very pretty girl, having somewhat of the Girl Next Door kind of vibe, but at that moment, Tracey looked like death. Slowly, and without a word, Tracey shook her head revealing the answer, 'no'.
"Trace," Daphne said approaching her best friend, "He's going to be okay, Blaise is tougher than he looks, he's going to make it out of this, he will."
"How do you know?" Tracey asked sounding more defeated than Daphne had ever heard before.
"Because I'm not going to quit until I find a way to save him," Daphne said firmly, "I'm going to be the greatest medical witch to ever live one day, and I can't do that until I save him and Astoria. I won't fail, we won't fail. I don't know how, and I don't know when, but we will save him, Tracey, we will."
Tracey looked up at her, a coldness in the girl's eyes that Daphne hated, "What if he's gone for good? What if we can't find a way? I know that it sounds stupid, Blaise and I weren't even dating that long, but I've known him for so long, maybe I'm being crazy, maybe I don't know what being 'in love' is, but I do love him, Daphne, even when he's being a complete idiot, I love him. I don't know what I'm going to do if he-"
"Stop that." Daphne said firmly, "Stop talking like we're going to fail. We're not going to fail. I don't care how hard it could be, we're going to bring him back, we're going to bring him back to you." Her voice became a bit shaky as she spoke in a softer tone, "He wouldn't want this. He loved you too Tracey, and he wouldn't want to see you like this. You know that."
Tracey looked down at Blaise as Daphne approached, placing a hand on her shoulder as she spoke, "Classes start in an hour, and you have Muggle Studies first, you love Muggle Studies. Blaise wouldn't want you missing out on life because of him. I promise we'll come to visit him at lunch, but you can't allow yourself to fall apart right now."
Tracey nodded, "I know, it's just, it's just so hard."
"I know," Daphne said helping Tracey to her feet, "But I'm here for you, every step of the way."
Tracey hugged Daphne, and though Daphne wasn't really a 'hug-person' she wrapped her arms around Tracey as she heard her whisper, "Thank you, Daphne, you're a good friend."
"You were there when I need you," Daphne said, "It's only right I do the same."
(Harry P.O.V)
Harry had limped into the Great Hall looking much worse for wear. While he was currently working on forgiving himself, the near-miss of not just Blaise's life, but his and the Slytherin Girls had awoken something in Harry. For nearly two months, Harry had ignored comments of his arrogance, he had felt that it wasn't arrogant if you could back it up, but the events of the weekend prior had humbled him. He tried to smile, he tried to laugh, he planned on not giving up his marauding ways, but something had to change. Maybe not in his academics, because outside of a few classes, he was well ahead of the curve, but his training regimen needed to be adjusted.
When the time came, he needed to be ready to face down the Voldemort, he needed to be strong enough to avenge his parents, he needed to be strong enough to protect his friends and that meant that Harry, the way he was, wasn't enough. He had awoken early though awoken was subjective as Harry hadn't truly slept in days, and had found himself standing on the edge of the Black Lake, practicing his spell accuracy, reviewing his curses, hexes, and jinxes learned from the Black Grimoire, and had pushed himself to his current magical limits and beyond. Harry had been casting in the dark two hours before the sun had rose and an hour after before falling to his knees panting.
Kreacher had apparated in to inform Harry that Sirius would no longer be able to visit him in Hogwarts due to the anonymous leaker, another thing that was on his mind. At first, he had thought it was Dumbledore, as had Sirius until Harry decided that while Dumbledore was certainly shady, he wouldn't have done something to split Harry's loyalty like that, especially knowing that he would side with Sirius, it had to be someone else, but who?
Still, not having Sirius around, Harry knew he'd have to wait until the Winter Holidays to be able to sit down with Remus and Sirius and hash-out a new training method as Harry knew he needed to get stronger, much stronger if he were to even stand a chance against Voldemort. Harry didn't know how yet, but he swore to himself, he promised that when the time came, Voldemort would die at his hands. Harry wiped the sweat of his brow as he stumbled to his feet, lifting his wand and aiming at a tree that among many others had grown from the depths of the Black Lake before shouting with a slicing motion, "Taltura!" as a black thin wave-like line emerged from his wand, severing the tree in two and dropping it into the lake.
Harry was breathing deeply as he felt the magic coursing through his aching body, and with two words, he promised himself the only thing that mattered, "Never again."
Harry had instructed Kreacher to purchase as nearly twenty vials of Vitamix potion. Though the elf had warned him that overdosing on the potion could lead to detrimental effects on his body, it didn't matter. He needed to train, he needed to protect the people that mattered to him, and while Tonks was right that he needed to forgive himself for his past mistakes, Harry wouldn't allow himself to fail again.
He knocked back the blue vial as a burst of energy ran through his body, and though every single one of his muscles ached, Harry had made it to the Great Hall. All the eyes turned to Harry, and while his body screamed in agony from the exhaustion, Harry did his best to remain as passive looking as possible. Slowly, Harry 'walked' over towards the Gryffindor table, where as soon as he sat down, Astoria had rushed to him, hugging him tightly forcing a groan from Harry's lips, "Where have you been?" She spoke tiredly, "I haven't seen you in days."
"Sorry, Short-Stack," Harry spoke softly, "I've just been busy is all."
"With what?" Astoria spoke kindly.
A flicker of anger flashed in Harry's mind before calming himself once again, "I don't want to talk about it." Astoria's face was laced with hurt and guilt filled through Harry's chest as he spoke, "I'm sorry, Astoria, I'm just, I'm not okay right now."
"Harry," Astoria spoke softly, "Nobody blames you."
"Someone does," Harry spoke softly as he rose from the table, not currently having an appetite.
"Who?" Astoria asked gently.
"Me," Harry spoke as he turned his back on the rowdy Great Hall, ignoring the stares as he left the breakfast table following the short conversation. Harry knew Tonks was right, Harry had to forgive himself, in his mind he knew it wasn't his fault, he knew he had done everything he could, and that right there was what frustrated him, because regardless of the situation in his mind, Harry wasn't good enough when the world needed him to be, and while Harry wanted to forgive himself, he didn't quite know how.
As soon as Harry had left the Great Hall and turned the corridor that led to his first Monday class of potions with the Ravenclaws, Harry heard footsteps behind him. Not bothering to turn back, Harry simply called out, "Look Astoria, I'm sorry but I just, I need to be alone right now, at least for a little longer."
"Close Potter," The voice he recognized called out, "But wrong sister."
Harry turned to face the beautiful blonde. He faced looked as passive as ever, but her eyes betrayed her concern and pain. He stared at the Ice Queen of Slytherin softly before with defeated whisper he spoke, "Oh, hey."
"Oh, hey?" Daphne spoke, "That's all I get after being bridal carried out of Hogsmeade by you?"
"Sorry," Harry said, the memory of seeing Daphne shivering in his arm filling his mind, "This isn't really a good time, I need to-"
"Potter, stop," Daphne spoke as he watched her grab his hand and lead him towards an empty classroom, "I think we should both talk, about everything that happened."
"If it's about the picture," Harry spoke, "I can owl the Daily Prophet to take it down or something, I-"
"It's not about the picture," Daphne spoke, as she dug through her bag pulling out a notebook, "The potion notes, as promised."
"Thanks," Harry said taking the notebook from Daphne momentarily getting trapped in her eyes, "Did you need anything else?"
"Pot- Harry," Daphne spoke kindly, "You saved my life, and as I'm sure you're familiar with already, that means I owe you a-"
"No," Harry said shaking his head, "This isn't like last time Daphne, I didn't save anyone, had the Aurors not arrived when they had, we both would have been gone. If you need to pay back a debt or whatever, go write to Mad-Eye or Auror Tonks, they saved you, not me."
Harry was just about to leave, when he felt Daphne's hand slide around his wrist stopping him, "Wait," she spoke slowly, "Even if you disagree about the dementors, at the very least, you brought me back to the castle, you carried me out of danger adding only greater risk to yourself. I should at least say thank you."
"Thank me?" Harry asked exasperated, "Your friend is lying the infirmary, the status of his soul completely unknown because I wasn't quick enough to cast the Patronus Charm, and you want to thank me? You could have died, your best-friend could have died, Blaise is-"
But before Harry could continue the taste of Daphne's vanilla Chapstick was pressed against his lips before the two broke apart, his heart beating from what had just happened, it felt like electricity had rushed through Harry's body, and for a split second, Harry had felt nothing but warmth in his chest. As Daphne's lips left his, all Harry could manage to do was ask in a completely lost voice, "What was that for?"
"I needed you to shut up and let me talk, and I figured that slapping some sense into you would have been rude considering the circumstances," Daphne said seriously, "I want you to listen to me Potter, and listen close. Do you know how badly I wish I could blame you for Blaise's condition? Do you know how much better I would feel if I just had an easy conduit to aim all my anger and frustration at? I want to hate you, Potter, I want to be upset and throw the blame all at your feet, but I can't, because in my heart and mind, I know you're not responsible for this."
"I certainly feel-" Harry began but Daphne cut him off.
"I told you to let me talk, don't make me kiss you again, because I swear, I'll bite your lip off if I have to" she spoke sternly, "I don't care what your misguided 'hero-complex' is telling you. I know you're the Boy-Who-Lived, the 'Savior' of the wizarding world, but even with as arrogant as you are, you can't believe you're able to stop every bad thing from happening. You're not a god, you're not even Dumbledore, you're Harry Potter, just Harry Potter, and as much as it hurts me to see Blaise lying in the infirmary the way he is, as much as it hurts me to see Tracey in as much pain as she's in, I know that Harry Potter did everything he could, and without him, both myself and my only two friends would have suffered a fate worse than death."
"Daphne-," Harry started.
"Princess," Daphne corrected gently, a soft smile appearing on her face as Harry looked at her in confusion, "What can I say, I've gotten used to it, and you don't sound like Harry when you don't constantly use nicknames."
A smile appeared on Harry's face for the first time in days as he listened to Daphne continue, "I know that you don't know that much about me, but my dream one day is to be the greatest medical-witch to ever live. I promised myself that I would find a way to save Blaise, and I plan to honor that promise. So this mopey Potter needs to go, because with my focus being on Tracey and Blaise right now, my sister is going to need you, and I don't ever want to see you push her away like that again. It blows my mind, but she looks up to you, you make her believe the impossible is possible, and honestly, I'm hoping you'll do the same for me. Because if you can somehow survive the killing curse as a baby, then there must be a way to reverse what happened to Blaise. After all, we live in a world of magic, nothing is impossible."
Harry nodded, before worse than he ever remembered, his previous two days of fatigue washed over him in a fury dropping him to his knees. Slowly, Harry reached for his back pocket where his Vitamax potion was stored before he heard Daphne speak, "You're looking for this right?"
The blue vial now being held lightly in between Daphne's fingers, "Give that back," Harry spoke tiredly.
"Potter," Daphne spoke, "How many of these have you had in the last two days?"
"It doesn't matter," Harry said.
"It does," Daphne spoke sternly, "How many?"
"Eight? Nine? I don't know, I lost count after five," Harry said.
"These things are dangerous," Daphne spoke, "You shouldn't consume one more than twice a week at most. Are you absolutely insane?"
"The less I sleep, the fewer hours I waste, the more time I have to practice my spells," Harry spoke.
"You're such an idiot," Daphne spoke smashing the vial on the floor, "This Gryffindor-ish pride and arrogance believing you don't need something as essential as sleep is absolutely maddening. Come on, get up."
"Where are we going?" Harry asked.
"To get my potions equipment," Daphne spoke firmly, "If a teacher found out you'd been using these you could have gotten expelled. I'm going to brew some Draught of Peace and then you're going to get some actual sleep, and not this energy substitute."
"Isn't the Draught of Peace a N.E.W.T level potion?" Harry asked tiredly.
"I have a lot of experience making it," Daphne spoke quietly, "Come on, I'll miss History of Magic, but I'm sure as hell not missing Charms because of you Potter."
A tiny smile appeared on Harry's face as he leaned against Daphne who helped support his weight, "Hey Princess," Harry said with as much enthusiasm as he could muster, "Thanks."
"Now we're even," Daphne said, "Flyboy."
"Also," Daphne said after a pause, "If you tell anyone that I kissed you, I'll hex your bits off." And despite the seriousness of the expression on Daphne's face, Harry couldn't help but grin.
(Harry P.O.V)
As Harry left the girls lavatory where Daphne had set up her equipment to brew the draught of peace and where he was sure he had just gotten hit on by a ghost that went by the name Moaning Myrtle, Harry, while feeling better inside from Daphne's forgiveness and the taste of her vanilla Chapstick on his lips, stumbled to the Gryffindor Common Room absolutely exhausted with a promise from Daphne that she'd tell Professor McGonagall that he had fallen ill and needed rest.
The door to the boys' dormitory swung open, and Harry had expected the room to be empty and was startled to find out that Ron was still inside.
However, what startled Harry, even more, was the fact that in Ron's hand was a cage containing a rat. Exhaustedly, Harry spoke, "Did you buy another rat?"
"No," Ron said, "I bought an owl, Hagrid found Scabbers running around the forest, he brought it to me at breakfast today."
"How can you tell that's not just some random rat?" Harry asked in confusion.
"Scabbers is missing a toe on his right paw," Ron said proudly as if that answer made him some sort of magizoologist, "Same with this rat. And can't you see how happy it looks to see me again?"
Harry looked down at the rat, its worm-like tail, it's frilly whiskers, a cold and dead look in his eyes, "Yeah Ron, it looks thrilled," Harry spoke trying to keep the sarcasm out, "I'm glad you found him."
Ron nodded before with a great struggle he spoke, "Sorry about getting all mad at you over your cat. You were right, he didn't eat Scabbers."
That had surprised Harry nearly more than Daphne kissing him, from what he knew about Ron, he didn't think the idiot knew how to apologize for anything, it turns out that today was simply full of surprises, "No problem Ron." Harry responded in kind before Ron threw his last book in his bookbag.
"Well, we've gotta go," Ron said, "If we're late for potions, we might lose 1,000 points given how much Snape hates you."
Harry chuckled, it was a relatively funny statement coming from the red-head, but Harry shook his head, "I'm not making it today, I feel like shit, try to write down any information about the exam for me if you can."
"Alright," Ron said with a nod, "Sure."
Harry nodded, and as Ron bolted from the room, he collapsed onto his bed releasing an exhausted groan as Loki curled up atop his chest, demanding affection from Harry that due to his prior mental state he had not been capable of giving. As Loki purred, Harry once again saw the cat's purple eyes trailing the caged rat, but too exhausted to think any longer, Harry drifted off to sleep, his body finally relaxing as the Draught of Peace ran its course.