They had their first Hogsmeade visit halfway through November, trudging through foot high drifts of snow as they made their way down the main street. Every shop was full of students sheltering form the icy wind; even the Hog's Head seemed to be busier than usual, people less fussy about where they had a drink on a cold day. After having spent a good hour nursing flagons of warm Butterbeer in The Three Broomsticks, Kathryn waved goodbye to Harry, Ron and Hermione as they headed off up the main thoroughfare towards Honeydukes.
In contrast to all the other students who were doing their best to avoid being outdoors for too long, Kathryn ploughed her way through the snow until she reached the hill that looked over the village. She buried her face further into her scarf and dug her hand deeper into her pockets; determined not to turn back just because it was a bit cold. It was her favourite spot; quiet and calm and a place to which few paid any heed due to the considerable diversion offered by Honeydukes or the Three Broomsticks. Even when there was uproar at school, or when they were dogged by fear and unhappiness, this spot never changed. If anything, it offered her a rare moment of solitude in a life filled with overwhelming responsibility.
She heard the small 'pop' of someone apparating but she disregarded it, many of the students who had passed their test used Hogsmeade opportunities to muck around. She ignored the footsteps right up until they came to a halt right behind her.
"What luck." A cold voice sounded in the windy air.
"Yes, luck." She sighed, her stomach sinking. Despite the fact that she was well wrapped up, she could not feel one shred of warmth in her body.
"I should thank you for making my hunt easier."
"You're welcome." She replied in the same, expressionless tone.
"Now, why don't we retire somewhere altogether more private?" although he phrased it as one, she knew it was not a question. She did not reply, simply bowing her head and accepting the inevitable.
As she felt his arm snake tightly around her waist, she wished that the same apparition restrictions applied to Hogsmeade as they did to Hogwarts. Their bodies twisted and, moments later, they disappeared from the hillside. She didn't recognise the room to which he had brought her, but judging by the view out of the window, she was back in Wiltshire. For the few moments she stood before the window, ignoring him as he moved off somewhere, she contemplated how he knew where she was. She wondered if he had been watching her, perhaps since her arrival in the village; like some wild animal stalking its prey. She did not have time to consider this any further as she heard the click of a key turning in a lock. She kept her gaze fixed on the lawns below her as he came to stand behind her.
"So, have you changed your mind?" he asked, slowly unwinding the scarf from around her neck. "Are you going to keep your silence?" his hands slid her coat from her shoulders and threw it casually aside. "Or is your tongue looser today?" his voice was cold and cruel, as if attempting to frighten her. Kathryn took a deep breath before answering.
"You know my answer." She replied in a flat tone, resigned to the inevitable. "I wonder that you bother asking."
"Excellent." He said in an icy tone that sent a shiver running up her spine. This only made him smirk even more as his roving hands tugged her jumper over her head and undid the buttons of her jeans. Tears beading at the corner of her eyes, Kathryn desperately tried to ignore what was going on, trying to think of anything other than what he was doing. She could not, however, remain totally passive. Such a feat was impossible. She knew that he would love the fact that she responded to him, that he elicited a reaction despite all her efforts to remain detached.
Once he was sated, instead of leaving her alone as he usually did, he remained beside her. She laid facing away from him, curled up and ashamed, hating the fact that she had given him satisfaction. Closing her eyes, she let sleep wash over her in comforting, empty waves. Several hours later, she was horrified to awaken to the feeling of another body against hers. Blinking in the dim light, she felt the bile rise in her throat as she realised that she was comfortably nestled in his arms.
Not caring for whether she woke him or not, she scrambled as far away from him as possible, nearly toppling off the edge of the bed as she did so. Finding her clothes, randomly scattered about the room, she quickly and checked her watch. It was quarter to six and they had to be back through the castle gates by six o'clock. He woke up just in time to see her wrap her cloak about her shoulders and disapparate.
She reappeared seconds later on the dark hillside and, checking her watch only to see that she had ten minutes left to get back, began to sprint back towards the castle. A light snow was falling and it stung her cheeks as she tried to run through the thick drifts; at one point slipping on a patch of ice and landing flat on her backside. She picked herself up, ignoring the chill that was permeating her jeans, and made it to the castle gates, cold and out of breath, with a minute to spare. Filch shook his head as he saw her run through the gates, disappointed that no student was to fall foul of the rules tonight. She headed straight to the Great Hall where she found Harry, Ron and Hermione still eating.
"Where've you been?" Ron asked through a mouthful of shepherd's pie.
"I went for a walk, you know, in the woods by the Shrieking Shack. I got a little lost!" She lied, faking sheepishness as she helped herself to a serving of shepherd's pie.
"We should tie a cow-bell round your neck." Ron said with a laugh before returning his attention to his dinner. Harry shook his head in amusement at his sister, knowing her tendency to wander did often get the better of her. Kathryn laughed at her 'mistake' as she began her dinner; all the while feeling inordinately guilty for the lies she kept on spinning in order to keep them from the grim truth.
Later that night, once the rest of the girls had gone to sleep, Kathryn lay awake. She stared blankly at the hangings above her, unable to sleep. She mused over what had happened that day and her mind kept returning to one thing. Every time he was with her, he never kissed her properly. He didn't even look her in the eye most of the time.
She did not know whether this distanced him from what he was doing, if it made it less personal for him. Of course, no matter what he did or how he did it, nothing could detach her from the pain he caused. Nothing could make his actions any less personal. Everything that he had done today had only served to re-open, and rub salt into, the wounds he had caused in August. She lay awake for several hours, unable to understand why her body persisted in betraying her. She in no way enjoyed what he did to her yet, somewhere deep inside, she did and she loathed herself for it.