Chapter 35: Dream State
Grimmauld Place, August 10th 1997
I slowly blink my eyes open, knowing that Regulus is still there, next to me. Watching me. Making sure I'm…me…and that I'm all right. Probably because of what happened last night during our research session – which was actually not a session, since how could that be, if that is what we do all day, every day?
Studying. Researching. Practicing duelling whenever one of us on the verge of losing their minds – which means Ron or me – and going over endless discussions regarding Horcruxes and Voldemort and magical history. Not any closer to finding out about the remaining Horcruxes than we were ten days ago.
"…Mornin'" I mutter to Regulus as soon as my bleary eyes find his.
Regulus lies still, his features relaxed, but his grey eyes sharp. "Good morning. How – "
" – I'm fine." I interrupt him tersely, feeling annoyed that I'm making the others worry about me. I'm annoyed that I'm too weak to resist the visions, but at the same time, even though I know I should, I'm still not actively trying to stop them. Like I didn't last night…
Ron, Hermione and Regulus all chuckle to a joke I made, all of us tired after going through several books about magical history and historical artefacts, after analysing; would Voldemort actually use this and that object as a Horcrux, when suddenly, a searing pain shoots through my scar.
I swallow hard, gritting my teeth together, and quickly make my excuses, explaining to the others that I need a break. As soon as I'm outside the library, I sprint towards the bathroom across the floor and throw the door closed after me, before slumping down on the floor with a low moan, gripping my head between my hands.
The pain intensifies, and soon, my vision is swimming, and all I can hear is the pounding in my head. I close my eyes, and immediately a different scenery springs to life.
I'm gliding along a dark street, between high buildings with timber framing – a place I haven't visited before. I approach one of the houses, and then my white, long-fingered hand knocks against the door.
Excitement courses through me as the door opens. There's a laughing woman, but as soon as she takes a look at me, all humour leaves from her expression, replaced with alarm and terror.
"Gregorovitch?" A cold voice – my voice – says.
The woman shakes her head, tries to close the door, crying something in…German? ...While shaking her head furiously. Her attempts are futile, since a mere flick of my wrist forces the door to open, making her retreat inside the house while I follow her.
I demand to know where Gregorovitch is, but as the woman fails to give me a satisfying answer, a green string of light soars from the tip of my wand, straight to her chest. The woman collapses to the floor, in the feet of two young children, their eyes round with fear.
"HARRY!"
I force my eyes open, force the vision to the back of my mind, all the while knowing that the same wand that murdered the woman, is now trained at those children.
The door to the bathroom bursts open, and I realise I'm curled upon myself on the floor, my hands still gripping my head, when a pair of calm hands are placed upon mine, in a soothing manner.
Hermione is there, kneeling next to me, her eyes moving over my face with a worried look as she pushes my hair away from my sweaty forehead.
"What happened?" Regulus says from the door, before taking a couple of steps towards me and crouching over to give me a closer look.
"N-Nothing…" I mumble. "I fell." I say – or, well, croak, and I'm quite sure I've been screaming, since my throat is sore.
"Harry, please don't insult our intelligence," Hermione says after taking in a deep breath. "We know your scar hurt in the library, and you're white as a sheet."
I grimace at the floor and slowly stand up with the help of Regulus. I sit down on the edge of the tub and rub my face before I speak. "Fine. I've just seen Voldemort murdering a woman. By now he's probably killed her whole family. And he didn't need to. It was Cedric all over again, they were just there … "
"Harry, you aren't supposed to let this happen anymore!" Hermione cries with frustration. "Dumbledore wanted you to use Occlumency! He too thought the connection was dangerous – Voldemort can use it, Harry! What good is it to watch him kill and torture, how can it help?"
"Because it means I know what he's doing," I mutter, and that is the truth. I don't enjoy the visions but at least they give some sort of advantage.
"So…you're not even going to try to shut him out?" Hermione asks incredulously.
I sigh wearily. "I'll try, but…we all know how lousy I am at Occlumency. It might not help."
"You never really tried!" she said hotly. "I don't get it, Harry – do you like having this special connection or relationship or what – whatever – "
I stand up quickly, a deep glare on my face. "What did you say?" I growl, and feel Regulus's hand on my shoulder, trying to calm me down, while Ron gives me a warning look beside Hermione. I take in a shaky breath. "Do you think that I like it? Would you like it?"
"I – no – I'm sorry, Harry. I just meant – "
"I hate it, I hate the fact that he can get inside me, that I have to watch him when he's most dangerous," I say harshly, but then look away. "…But I know I could use it – we could use it for our benefit."
"Dumbledore –"
"Forget Dumbledore. This is my choice, nobody else's. I want to know why he's after Gregorovitch."
"But Harry – "
Ron squeezes Hermione's arm. "Let it go, Hermione. Harry decides," he says hesitantly, cringing slightly at the surprised scoff Hermione throws at his direction.
Hermione gives all of us a disbelieving look, and takes a couple of steadying breaths before she speaks, very quietly. "You decide," says to me, and swallows, "But try to remember what was the price you paid the last time you trusted those visions, Harry," She says gravely, and then storms off the bathroom.
My insides twist with nausea and guilt.
Ron grimaces at Regulus and me. "That went well, eh?" He asks half-heartedly, before turning to follow her. "I think I'll turn in for the night," He mutters.
I let out a wavering breath, trying to ease my pounding heart, to stop my ringing ears and my racing mind.
"Come on," Regulus says quietly, nodding his head at the hallway.
After going into Regulus's room last night, I collapsed face first into bed, feeling overwhelmed and drained, but in the end, I didn't catch sleep until the morning hours. My mind was too occupied, with the connection, its advantages and…the danger that lies within it.
At first, I decided that I need to at least try to shut Voldemort away from my mind. But then, another thought came up to me. What if I could control it? Could it be possible for me to see into his consciousness whenever I want? To open the connection whenever it is needed? Without him knowing?
And most importantly; could it be possible to navigate through his memories?
Regulus's hand squeezes mine, and I push the thoughts away to a more appropriate moment, preferably to be reviewed again, when the others are not agitated by the possibility of Voldemort taking control of my mind. I smile sleepily at Regulus, feeling slightly lightheaded when the corners of his mouth turn upwards as a reaction.
"You want to talk about it? About last night?" He asks quietly, while his fingertips brush my knuckles.
I swallow hard. I do…but not now. At least not all of it. "I think…I think that I should try to learn Occlumency," I say hesitantly, watching his reaction carefully.
Regulus gives me an indecipherable nod, but somehow, I know that he's pleased at my answer.
"So…how do you practice?" I ask, lifting my brows at him. "Trying to close my mind? Because I've tried, and I don't think anything's happening."
Regulus's lips twitch with amusement. "On the large-scale, yes. What you ultimately want to learn, is to compartmentalise…learn how to isolate your thoughts and memories into compartments, how to close them carefully and protect them with layers of wards within your mind. And then, you keep them there. As long as it is needed."
That sounds…difficult. "Oh." I mumble and blink at him. "How?"
Regulus's eyes move over my frame in thought before his eyes narrow back to mine. "Have you ever tried to push certain thoughts or feelings away to help you focus better? And then return to them in a proper moment?"
Well that I definitely have done, even without thinking. "Yeah," I answer with a mild shrug.
Regulus nods slowly. "That's a start," Regulus murmurs and leans closer to me, his lips pressing against the skin below my jaw.
His touch makes a shiver run down my spine. "Aren't we practicing?" I mutter, my breath hitching as Regulus's lips suck at the arch of my neck lightly.
"We are. Aren't you compartmentalising?"
And then I realise what he's about. What this is about...I quickly try to pull up a memory, or a thought – anything – into the forefront of my mind, anything else than the soft lips trailing down my neck, the delightful sting of teeth nipping at my skin, and the smooth lick of tongue that sends a warm wave of pleasure from my neck straight downwards, straight to my dick.
Needless to say, I'm failing brilliantly, and it definitely doesn't go missed by Regulus, not when I let out an embarrassing loud gasp.
"Compartmentalise, Potter. You need to isolate this before you can start to focus on different matters," He mutters against my collar, while his fingers trace the hem of my shirt.
I let out a frustrated groan. "You're killing me."
Regulus stills, pulls back slightly, and watches me with a scrutinising look. "Put the feeling into a compartment, and then close it, decide that you are returning to it later," he says calmly.
I swallow hard and nod, trying to do exactly what he says. What should I think then…?
"You don't have to replace it with anything," Regulus continues, evidently reading my hesitant look correctly. "You just have to decide to keep it there."
I sigh wearily, close my eyes right as Regulus's fingers move, rucking up my shirt, soft hands touching my skin, and I push everything away, into a small compartment – and I'm already doubting how long I can keep it there, as soft fingertips are replaced by even softer lips.
"Circe," I whisper and jump slightly, opening my eyes to see Regulus kissing my stomach, inching slowly downwards, his hands holding me gently in place by my sides. Merlin. Is this happening? My skin is melting everywhere he touches, and every time he does, a tingling spark of pleasure trails down my body. I can hear myself panting. Is this really happening?
"Potter?" Regulus asks, lifting his head up and watching me carefully. Expectantly.
Expecting me to fucking close my mind when he's literally inches away from my dick. Bloody bastard.
I swallow hard. "You've got to be kidding me," breathe, my mind and my body coiled with excitement and desire.
"Tell me to stop and I'll stop," Regulus says quietly, watching me with a hint of hesitance in his eyes.
Circe. I definitely don't want him to stop. I take in a shaky breath and close my eyes. I can do this. I can keep my mind blank. At least for a minute. I can go on without thinking about the fact that my trousers are being opened and dragged down. I'd already call that success, since if what's happening is actually what I think is h –
"Fuck!" I hiss, everything coming back in full force, every ounce of pleasure and want and hunger I've managed to hold off, they all come back, and they're all out there, making me gasp and arch and moan desperately. My hands flail for a bit before they find a solid pair of shoulders and then grab them, use them as some kind of anchor.
I'm feeling delirious; the touch, the pressure, the pull…it's overwhelmingly intense. It's so delicious, so good, that I make the mistake of opening my eyes.
"Oh my fucking god," I pant in shock as my eyes find the heated grey ones, take in Regulus's features, the way his lips are wrapped – shit, shit shit! The pleasure spikes inside my body, everything tightening inside me, and then, the next second, I'm exploding; satisfaction and thrill and heaven mixing inside me before I'm left gasping and trembling against the bed.
And I'm rather sure I've actually lost a couple of seconds since when I blink back to consciousness, Regulus is settling next to me, watching me searchingly. Questioningly.
I give him a lazy grin. "I failed."
Regulus snorts quietly. "I figured. Did you even try?"
I try to give him an affronted gasp, but I fail at that too. My expression is probably still filled with contentment and laziness. "I did. And I almost succeeded. But then you had to…you know. Take my trousers off."
Regulus lets out a short laugh. "Would you rather I hadn't?"
I shake my head quickly. "No. Definitely not. That was. Amazing. I'm only wondering why haven't we done that before?" I babble through a wide grin. "I mean, is that gonna be a recurring part in our lessons?"
Regulus shakes his head slightly in exasperation, an adoring smile on his lips. He moves to lie down on his back and stares at the canopy. "Probably not. You need to learn to compartmentalise first," He mutters with a small smirk on his lips, and then adds quietly, "But…I've wanted to do that for a long time."
My heart jumps into my throat. "Yeah?" I breathe, and gnaw my lip in contemplation, gathering my courage. "What…what about the other way around?" I ask, feeling a blush spreading over my cheeks.
Regulus turns his head towards me, giving me a surprised look. "Y-Yeah. That too."
I watch him for a short moment, before making up my mind and leaning closer to him, feeling curious, feeling like I'm stepping into the unknown.
But I'm nothing if not determined.
"Harry!" Hermione calls from the armchair, a book open on her lap. She's watching me with a soft smile. "Feeling better?" She asks, marking the spot and closing the book.
I give her a nod and walk towards the seating area. "Yeah, loads. You had breakfast already?" I ask, since that's where I'm coming from, and where I left Regulus and Ron.
I sit down on the sofa, on the end closest to Hermione's chair as she nods, "Yes, I did…I woke up early," she says and stretches her back. "Usually Regulus too is awake early, but I reckon he slept late today…"
"Yeah. We practiced. Um, he…he taught me Occlumency," I stammer, and I hope to bloody Circe that Hermione doesn't notice how my face is heating up.
"Oh!" Hermione looks pleasantly surprised. "How did it go?" She asks, her voice curious.
I want to curse Regulus, for making me associate him…and…what happened…to Occlumency. Merlin. I force the pleasant memory into its compartment and close it tightly, feeling actually proud of myself.
"It went…well," I say with a shrug, and I would have continued feeling proud, but then, Regulus and Ron step into the library, and my eyes are glued at Regulus. And all I can think of, as my eyes trail up and down his frame, is this morning, and how bloody incredible it was. And then I catch the knowing look Regulus gives me.
Turns out I'm bloody awful at Occlumency.
"Well, it takes practice," Hermione says kindly as Regulus and Ron take their seats next to us; this time Ron sprawls down next to me on the sofa, while Regulus takes a seat in the armchair next to Hermione's.
"Huh?" Ron asks curiously.
Hermione nods at Regulus and me. "Regulus is teaching Occlumency to Harry. To block you-know-who out," She says shrewdly.
Ron nods slowly. "Yeah, that might be smart."
Regulus clears his throat. "I admit that becoming an Occlumens without any help from a Legilimens to test your barriers is…rather difficult. And it will take time," He says and watches me mutedly.
I chew the inside of my cheek. Now could be the time to tell them. I clear my throat. "Um…I've been thinking…" I mutter, my eyes moving from Regulus to Hermione to Ron, and then stopping at the table.
I can feel everyone staring at me in expectation.
"What if…what if I could control it? Learn how to control it? And…use it when I want…" I say hesitantly, then glance at Regulus.
He's watching me closely, undoubtedly trying to figure out my motive – the reason why I'd want that.
Hermione shifts in her place, and I turn to look at her. "You mean the connection? Access to Voldemort's mind? But…why?" She asks, giving me a bemused look, and waves an exasperated hand at Ron's objection about using the name.
"You want access to his mind. To his memories…?" Regulus mutters, and I push my chin out and look at him in the eye. To my surprise, I don't find him watching me with a dubious look, but instead a contemplative one.
I give him a curt nod.
Hermione gasps. "You want to track down the Horcruxes?"
Ron too lets out a sound, something mixed with surprise and cheer. "That brilliant! Can you do it?"
Hermione shakes her head slowly. "That's…that's too dangerous, Harry, I mean…he'd know. He'd know that you are there, seeing everything..." She says with a deep frown, before she turns to look at Regulus, her voice becoming uncertain, "Right?"
I watch Regulus's expression closely. The fact that he hasn't said anything yet, gives me hope. I can practically feel how on the edge Hermione and Ron both are as they too wait for the verdict.
Regulus frowns at the table, and after a short moment, he speaks. "I'm afraid I do not know enough about the connection to be certain." He seems like he's selecting his words carefully. "What I do know, is that the Dark Lord is highly skilled protecting his mind, and even attempting to breach it might result to…an unwanted outcome."
Regulus's grey eyes move up to meet mine. "If the Dark Lord is not aware of you sharing his consciousness when he opens the connection…you might be able to use it against him. I might even say that it is essentially the only way to access his mind."
Hermione huffs. "And that is only if you-know-who doesn't know about the connection being open anymore…But Harry would still need to have the skill to navigate through his mind."
Regulus nods in agreement. "Harry would need to be accomplished in Occlumency and Legilimency before we could even entertain ourselves with the thought."
I let out a scoff. "But that could take years!" I shout, shoving a hand through my hair in exasperation. "Isn't there any other way?"
Ron clears his throat. "Could…you know…Regulus do it?"
Hermione starts to argue with Ron, while I nod excitedly at my friend, and then turn to look at Regulus. "Is that possible?"
Regulus's frown deepens. "I…I don't know. That is something I haven't studied, or even heard of…" He says slowly, and then his eyes move searchingly between mine. "Even if I could, I wouldn't be able to protect your mind, Harry," He says quietly, and gives me a strained look.
"But it could be possible…" I say stubbornly.
Regulus lets out a weary sigh. "…In theory…it might be possible for someone else to access the Dark Lord's mind through yours when the connection is open. But…I'm not going to try that."
Hermione looks relieved, while Ron looks disappointed.
"Why?" I ask in confusion. I can't help but feel slightly…betrayed. Why wouldn't he do it? If it could be possible? If it could be a way to access the last two Horcruxes?
Regulus gives me a grave look. "I'm not strong enough."
Hermione shakes her head. "And even if Regulus was, Harry, it's too dangerous. You heard Regulus. What if you-know-who takes control of your mind?"
"Then I practice Occlumency! Every bloody hour of every day, if I have to," I say sharply back, my voice rising. "Don't you understand that this could be a way to end him?" I ask, watching both Hermione and Regulus with narrowed eyes. "…A way to end him before it is too late! End him before he's wiped half of the wizarding people and Muggles from existence!"
Hermione gives me a conflicted look. "Of course, we know that, Harry! But you need to think about the risks!" Hermione says heatedly. "Even if you learn Occlumency, what if he still realises what you are trying to accomplish? What if he sees Regulus? What if he feeds you a false memory, and someone ends up dead because of it?!" She asks with a shrill voice.
Her words sting in my chest and make my head spin. I take in a deep breath, trying to calm myself. Trying not to engage into a screaming match with her. I know there's a risk. But there's also a possibility…
"Maybe we should, you know, er…talk about something else for a while…?" Ron asks tentatively, cringing slightly at the situation.
Regulus nods and flicks his wand, sending books and notes flying to the table. "I agree."
I keep to myself for the rest of the day, annoyed at the others for dismissing my idea so quickly, disappointed that the solution wasn't something the others, besides Ron, agreed on.
The others leave me be and after a rather unsuccessful day of research, we agree to continue the next day, and head to our quarters for the night.
I feel Regulus's gaze at me the whole time we get ready for bed, studying my mood, scrutinising me.
I clear my throat and watch him change into his nightwear. "You said that it's more difficult to learn Occlumency without having a Legilimens to test your barriers?"
Regulus glances at me over his shoulder, before slipping on a long-sleeved shirt. "I did say that."
"Can we try it?" I ask after a minute.
Regulus walks towards me, his face blank. "Why?" He asks simply, stopping straight in front of me.
I swallow quickly. "So that I'd learn faster."
Regulus's brow twitches. "And this sudden need of yours doesn't have anything to do with you hoping that I would try to access the Dark Lord's mind through yours?"
I lift my chin up and stare back defiantly. "This has everything to do with it."
Regulus watches me silently, something dark flickering in his eyes. "Very well then. I can help you to learn Occlumency. Nothing else."
I shrug back, knowing already that this is something I'm accepting now, but only temporarily. "Fine by me."
"Are you ready?" Regulus asks with a low voice, his eyes narrowing into mine.
Bloody hell. I hadn't expected him to want to start already, but he was probably counting on it. The git. I hastily try to compartmentalise my thoughts, intentionally pushing them away, locking them securely, and drawing up imaginary wards and shields over them. I'm glad that Regulus gives me time to get ready, as this is something I wasn't allowed to do before.
Finally, I let out a long breath. "I'm ready," I whisper.
"Legilimens."
And it's nothing like before. Nothing like it was, when Snape – the murdering wanker – did this. With Snape, it was blunt and dizzying and…it actually hurt. Snape went through my memories brutally, ripping them open, and then tossing them away. Then there's Voldemort. When he's in there, it's only searing pain, pulsing agony, and nauseating light-headedness.
I was expecting something between those two. But no.
Regulus eases into my mind quietly and tentatively, as if asking for permission to be there. He brushes at my empty consciousness, pushing himself deeper, trying to gain access to my memories, the compartments that are hidden behind the imaginary defences. It feels…weird. Not painful, but more like…requiring me to continuously focus on the existence in my mind. It is rather…strenuous.
Regulus finds my hidden memories and thoughts easily enough, but before he moves forward, there's an actual touch on my fingertips. He's holding my hand, squeezing it lightly, as if trying to remind me to fight him back. Or, at least, that's how I imagine it. I squeeze back his hand and then reinforce the walls in my mind, before Regulus starts breaking through them.
Even if he is fairly gentle, it still takes an enormous amount of strength to fight him. As soon as he breaks through a one point of my wall, they shatter completely, and everything is at his reach.
Regulus skims through the topmost ones, and I feel a jolt of amusement – his amusement – when he passes through my determined thoughts about learning Occlumency and then persuading Regulus to do what I want.
While Regulus examines the memory from last night – the one in which Voldemort killed that woman and her children – I desperately try to hide the ones that I don't want him to see, but it's like I'm coaxing him to view them the more I try to hide them.
I squeeze Regulus's hand hard when the familiar cemetery materialises in the forefront of my mind, with the familiar circle of dark-clothed and masked men.
Suddenly, the memory disappears, as Regulus exits my mind, and we're both left panting heavily, leaning against each other in exhaustion.
Regulus's forehead is pressed against my shoulder, and I can feel the heavy puffs of breath he lets out. Apparently, this wasn't only pushing me to the limit.
"You okay?" Regulus asks quietly, without lifting his head up.
I keep my eyes closed and take in a couple of deep breaths before I reply to him. "Yeah. You?"
Regulus merely nods against me.
We stay like that for a moment before we agree to lie down on the bed.
"Is it always like that for you?" I ask, unable to help my curiosity. Regulus seems…weakened.
Regulus shakes his head, which is an accomplishment itself, since he's sprawled face down on the bed.
So…he was just making it easy and painless for me. That is probably why it took so much out of him.
He turns his head slightly and squints at me. "What was the last memory?"
I look away, not in the mood to explain how Voldemort tricked me to the cemetery, how he killed Cedric, how he was resurrected – although, I reckon Regulus already knows most of the events that happened that night, through Sirius.
"Can we talk about that on another time?" I ask wearily, stifling a yawn.
"Of course…Good night, Potter."
Grimmauld Place, August 11th 1997
"Give it to me, Gregorovitch."
My voice is cold again. My long-fingered white hand is lifted, my wand pointed at a man hanging upside down in mid-air.
The man has grey-white hair and a thick beard, both streaked with blood. He looks terrified.
"I have it not, I have it no more! It was, many years ago, stolen from me!"
I let out a hiss. "Do not lie to Lord Voldemort, Gregorovitch. He knows…He always knows."
Gregorovitch's eyes widen with fear, and then suddenly, my surroundings start to cloud, and after a second, a dark corridor materialises around me, and I'm hurrying towards a room, bursting into it, and…there's a young man with blonde hair, on the window ledge.
I fix my eyes at him, and see the intruder grinning wickedly at me before he aims a Stunning Spell from his wand and jumps out of the window, laughing.
A moment later, I'm back in Gregorovitch's hiding place, staring at the horrified man. "Who was the thief, Gregorovitch?"
"I do not know, I never knew, a young man –"
My lips curl into a snarl, as rage courses through me.
" – no – please – PLEASE!"
"Crucio," I hiss silently, and watch, almost curiously, as Gregorovitch's body twists and shudders in agony, and when he screams and screams and screams.
After a long moment, after Gregorovitch's voice is long gone, but his body still twitching, I flick my wand again. A burst of green light erupts from it, bringing silence and stillness into the room.
"Harry!"
I feel something sharp on my shoulders. My head is pounding. My scar is prickling. I'm shaking violently.
I force my eyes open, my teeth clattering, and I find Regulus crowding over me, looking alarmed, his both hands grabbing my shoulders. He must've been trying to shake me awake.
"…D-Dream," I croak, and Merlin, I've been screaming again.
Regulus grits his teeth together and gives me a look, that might as well say; 'I am not even going to dignify that with a response'.
I swallow hard, still panting, still shivering. "I-I didn't mean it to happen," I breathe, closing my eyes, trying to calm down.
"What did you see?" Regulus asks warily, slowly pulling away from me.
I frown deeply, trying to remember every detail I saw. "He's found Gregorovitch. Voldemort tortured him, and…read his mind. He…wanted something from him. Something that was stolen from Gregorovitch…" I mumble, trying to make sense of what happened in the dream.
"What did he want?" Regulus asks quietly.
I rub my eyes with the heels of my palms. "I dunno," I say wearily. "But I think I've seen the thief somewhere…I just can't place him…"
If the theft had happened several years ago, how does the thief look familiar? Where have I seen him? And why had Voldemort killed Gregorovitch? Why hadn't he asked a single question about wandlore from the man, since he was so obsessed to find out a solution to the problem between our wands?
It must be close to midday when I finally drag my feet down to the kitchen, finding it empty. Kreacher still serves me breakfast, with its customary scowl that always takes place whenever Regulus is not around.
I eat quickly and drown a cup of tea before making my way towards the library.
"If it isn't the sleeping beauty," Ron quips merrily from the centre of the room, where he's apparently duelling Regulus.
He earns a sting to his backside for turning his back to Regulus.
I snort as Ron whelps in surprise and pain, and definitely see a twitch on both Regulus's and Hermione's lips.
Ron turns back to Regulus with a sour look, grumbling something about Slytherins, as I make my way to Hermione and sit next to her on the sofa.
"Hey." I mutter and watch as Regulus aims a stream of mild Stinging Jinxes at Ron, who manages to block and swerve all of them.
Hermione watches me with a scrutinising look. "Hello." She says mutedly.
So…she probably knows about last night.
I lift my brows at her. "You know about my dream?"
Hermione's jaw sharpens. "Yes." She says, her lips pursing slightly.
Ron curses behind us, but it seems that their duel is not that serious, as Regulus and Ron pause to chat every now and then.
"If you would just learn to apply Occlumency – "
I let out an exasperated sigh, "Hermione, I literally just practiced with Regulus before I went to bed."
Hermione looks hesitant, but nods. "Well, I suppose that is the only good news in this scenario…"
I lift a brow at her. "You're not even mildly curious what I saw?"
Hermione narrows her eyes at me. "Not really. What you saw might as well be a load of rubbish. Because we cannot trust it." She says pointedly.
I nod slowly, my eyes flickering to Ron and Regulus, who are in the middle of training some kind of modified Shield charm. I bet Ron would want to know more.
There's a small sigh and then Hermione speaks, her voice softer now. "Okay. Tell me then."
I give her a tight smile before my expression turns into a grave one. "He's found Gregorovitch, and he wants something from him. Something that was stolen. And…I've seen the thief. I just…I dunno where…"
Hermione listens closely. "Well…Regulus told us most of that already. Do you remember anything else?"
I frown at the table, trying to clear my head and access that memory, that dream, which I tried to compartmentalise, to be used later…needless to say, I didn't actually succeed in it.
"I dunno…" I say, glancing up at her, "…Do you think Voldemort could be after something that he aims to turn into a Horcrux…?"
Hermione gnaws at her bottom lip as she contemplates my question. "I think not…I think he has pushed his soul to the limit. What he has done, has already been risky, and he must know it as well. I don't think it is possible for him to split the remaining of his soul anymore, without serious consequences..." She mutters thoughtfully, and then sighs. "But of course, I cannot say for sure…"
I nod at her. It seems…unlikely, that Voldemort would do something, that could make him lose everything…so…there has to be something else.
I watch absently at Ron's and Regulus's duelling practice, while Hermione returns to her book. After a moment, I turn my focus at her. She's still reading the book Dumbledore gave to her. The storybook for children. Trying to make sense why would the previous Headmaster give it to her.
"Have you found anything?" I ask, watching the runic script, unable to understand a single rune in it.
Hermione shakes her head slightly, and then, after browsing a couple of pages, she frowns at the book.
"What?" I ask, curiously.
Hermione glances at me, looking a bit rattled.
"There's this odd…symbol…appearing on some pages," she says, before leaning towards me with the book. "Look," she continues, pointing at the top corner of one of the pages.
I give her a shrug, "You know I didn't take Runes, Hermione," I mutter and look at the symbol; a triangular eye, its pupil crossed with a vertical line.
"That's just it. It's not a rune, and it's not in the syllabary, either. And I can't figure out what it is…Have you ever seen it before?"
I frown at the symbol. It looks fairly familiar. Then it hits me.
"Hermione…" I mutter, watching her closely. "Did you research Grindelwald's sign?"
Hermione shakes her head. "No, Harry, I mean, yes, we browsed some books about him with Regulus the other morning, but there was nothing mentioned about his sign, so we – " She stops suddenly, her eyes widening, before she gasps loudly. "Godric!" She yells then, gaining Regulus's and Ron's attention as well.
"This is his mark, his sign, isn't it!" She shrieks triumphantly, waving the book in front of my face.
I nod at her, while a wide grin spreads across my face. Her excitement is contagious. Ron and Regulus stop their practice and join us in the seating area.
"What is it?" Ron asks, wiping sweat from his brow, while watching at us curiously.
Hermione grins at them. "Harry just helped me to solve something! I'm not sure why, not yet, but for some reason, Grindelwald's sign is inked in the book Dumbledore gave to me!" She explains hastily.
Regulus lifts his brows, looking intrigued, and Hermione gives him the book, still opened on the page where the sign is visible.
"But what does it mean…?" Ron asks after a short silence.
Yes…what, indeed? Why would a symbol of Dark Magic be used in a children's book? Unless…unless, someone put it there afterwards? Is Dumbledore trying to warn us somehow?
Grimmauld Place, August 15th 1997
I slam the paper on the table, making my friends jump slightly from surprise.
"What now?" Ron asks, dread in his eyes, while Hermione's eyes move over me searchingly, trying to gauge the situation.
I scowl at the Prophet. "Skeeter," I say bitterly. "I think I need to read her book, after all," I mutter and then push the paper, with its 'Exclusive extract from upcoming biography of Albus Dumbledore' article to the opposite side, for Hermione and Ron to view.
It's only the three of us now. Regulus has been…in a mood for the past three days, right after he saw my memory of the fight in the Ministry during our Occlumency practice. Right after witnessing his brother's last moments for the first time.
He has been keeping to himself, staying mostly in the drawing room, even asking for us to leave him alone. So, we have. Even if it made me feel somewhat affronted, since…it's not like we haven't supported each other before…and it's not like I'm not missing Sirius as well.
I wonder if Regulus's been trying to see him…or…if he is now having second thoughts about his priorities. What if he decides to try to save his brother? Well…we wouldn't let him go by himself. I shake my head slightly. Even the thought is ludicrous, since none of us would walk out from the Ministry alive…
Hermione scoffs loudly. "…all the juicy details about the shocking and fiery friendship between Albus Dumbledore and Gellert Grindelwald are explored in the explosive new biography, The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore, by Rita Skeeter," she recites from the article, that doesn't really reveal anything, but hints that the two men – well, apparently boys then – did quickly become inseparable.
Ron grimaces at the article as he reads it, and then shakes his head slightly.
Hermione stays quiet after she's finished, chewing the inside of her cheek in thought. She lets out a small sigh. "Well, I suppose we could read it, if it has anything about Grindelwald that we don't already know – which is very little." She says hesitantly and gives me a weary look. "…Then again, every word of it might be a complete lie."
"I know," I mutter, rubbing my neck. "But even if it is utter rubbish, I think we could use a short break in all the research we've been at for the past two weeks…I mean, I don't know about you two, but I need to get out from this house," I say and glance at the paper on the table, "with or without the book."
Hermione gives me a strained look. "I know that there's only so much we can find out by staying inside. On some point, we need information from the outside. But I can't say that leaving here doesn't make me a bit anxious…"
I know what she means. Leaving the only secure place – our safe place – makes me feel uneasy. But I need a break. I need to go outside, or I'm going to go mental; cooped up in here, doing nothing but researching, duelling, and reading, reading, reading so bloody much that I'm afraid I'll want to scratch my eyes out soon…I'm finally starting to understand Sirius, and hell, he stayed here for a year, barely leaving the place!
In the end, it is decided that we'll start making outings, armed with my emergency Portkey – which takes some awkwardness to explain to my friends – and the Cloak.
And even though I'm relieved by the decision, there's something bothering me…a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach…and I know it has everything to do with Regulus.