2 days later...
The coldness from the concrete makes me shiver. I haven't been able to do anything but stare up at the ceiling for the last few days. My brain won't rest.
Negan went easier on Nate than I thought he would. The iron is absolutely horrible but it's not death. Maybe he's keeping him alive so he can still have leverage over me.
A small sliver of light shines over me as the door slowly opens. I take a deep breath anticipating what other punishments Negan has in store for me.
"Rise and shine sleeping beauty" he smiles at me like nothing ever happened. I expected him to still be pissed.
I put in little effort and turn my head to look at him. I don't bother getting up from my back. He strolls over to me and tugs me up by my arm. The force he uses hurts since my body aches from sleeping on the hard ground.
"I take it you learned your lesson. You're gonna be my sweet obedient and loyal wife from now on right?" his hands gently fix my bird nest-like hair.
I nod, showing my compliance. He's the God of this place and being locked away from this time has made me realize this. There's no way to get one over on him. For as long as I stay here, I will have to play by his rules.
A wicked glimmer in his eyes shines through, he throws his arm around my shoulder and leads me out of the box that's kept me captive, "Let's hope so, the iron is always waiting if you decide to make any more bad choices".
____________________________________
The walk down the hallway feels longer than normal. Negan's been talking my ear off the entire time telling me how excited he is for this 'new' chapter in our life. There's a sense of change lingering in the air.
We approach the bedroom door but to my surprise, Negan doesn't stop, instead, he continues to take me elsewhere."Where are we going?" I ask reluctantly.
"You need a checkup after being in that cell for so long. I need to make sure my baby girl is okay" he takes my hand and brings it to his lips romantically.
Negan barges into the doctor's office without knocking or giving any warning, "Carson, I need you to give my girl the pills we talked about yesterday".
Pills are a little extreme, I don't think I need anything like that. I'm going through more mentally than I am physically.
Dr. Carson immediately responds and takes a bottle of pills out of a cabinet, "I have them right here but she needs a physical exam first to make sure she's healthy".
My eyebrows furrow, so if these pills aren't supposed to make me healthier than what are they for? I'm not an expert but this doesn't seem right.
Negan consents and gives Carson the go-ahead.
"I just need to ask you a few questions before we get started", Carson turns his attention to me and puts on a blue latex glove in true doctor form. "Do you have regular periods?"
I have to think about it for a moment. I can't remember the last time. "I get them every once in a while but not lately"
He writes on his clipboard, "ok, that's what we need to take care of first. I'm going to start you on a more nutrient-dense diet. This will help prep your body for conception".
The last word in his sentence makes my heart drop to my stomach, "conception? I don't understand".
Dr.Carson begins to explain, "In simple terms, conception is when the sperm cells-". I cut him off before he could go on a tangent. "No, I mean I don't get why this is apart of the exam. I'm not trying to get pregnant" I further clarify.
Out of nowhere Negan looks at me like an upset parent, "Carmen, we talked about this. You agreed to be a good girl for me".
He's right. I did say I would be good but never that I wanted a baby, "But I didn't agree to this" I assert myself, though I know he won't be happy with me for this.
It only takes him seconds to react but he doesn't reprimand me straight away. He stands and takes me by my arm, "please excuse us", he says.
Negan takes me out of the office and into the hallway, "No arguing. I want children and that's what you'll give me. You at least owe me this for fucking trying to kill me" he demands sternly.
Every word stings, fueling the fire that burns inside of me, "So you want to get me pregnant out of spite? That's insane Negan!" I shout at him but truly I want to do way more than that. This is the most infuriating thing ever.
"Of course that's not the only reason. I was serious that night I opened up to you. Not to mention, you said that you would think about it"
I get instant flashbacks to that night, he told me things I didn't expect him too but I don't see children in my future, "well I thought about it and I don't want too".
"That's too bad, you're mine. I can do what I want to you when I want too. This isn't up for debate anymore" he tells me with confidence knowing that I am powerless to resist him.
A small ball of anger grows inside me and it pushes me to be combative, "No, I'm not doing this and I'm not taking whatever those pills are!" I've never liked pills, let alone pills that I don't even know what they are.
"Do you really think it's a good idea to speak to me like that after I just spared your life?" He waves his finger at me smugly.
The fact that he's more arrogant than he is angry gets under my skin, "Come on, don't do that to me. That's completely different. We're talking about bringing a life into this world, that's serious shit"
He inhales and exhales deeply, he now wears his emotions on his sleeves, "I know and I'm not taking this lightly, I thought about this for a long while before I ever brought it up to you. I'm not leaving this world without a legacy" his voice wavers.
It's strange how concerned he seems to be over this, Negan has never come across as the type that fears death but his strong desire of a "legacy" contradicts this, "You have a legacy. Look around you! You built this community from the ground up. You'll be remembered for that" I try to convince him but it falls on deaf ears.
"It's not the same. When I die who will be here to take my place?" He asks me with sincerity.
"Simon" I reply without a second thought. His so-called 'right-hand man'. It makes sense to me for him to be the most viable option.
He sighs and rolls his eyes, "You don't mean that. You hate everything about that man. Be honest with me, there is nobody next in line. We need to create that someone" he grips me at my shoulders like he's making a plead of desperation, he wants me to go along with this badly.
He rarely gets this way, but when he does there is nothing I can do. It's useless to fight or argue with him, "Negan, I just don't want to have a baby right now, that's it."
I don't want to have a child ever. But I should let him down easily. Giving him hope that I might change my mind is the best thing I can do to make my life easier.
My scheme works perfectly, relief sweeps over his face and a small grin curves onto his lips, "I understand that and I'm willing to hear you out if you agree to be cooperative and let Dr.Carson finish the exam. It's still important to know if you would be healthy enough to carry children just in case".
The exam is harmless I guess it can't hurt to know, "Sure, I'll do it"
We both go back into the office and Dr. Carson continues the exam. He first asks me all types of questions about how my body's been functioning in regard to factors that would affect my fertility. That was the easy part, after that it was time for the pelvic exam. It was pretty humiliating to have Negan watch over me the entire time but it was over fast. He concluded that I would be a low-risk pregnancy and prescribed me the pills he mentioned earlier which I found out are fertility supplements.
____________________________________
Later that day...
"I didn't think we would ever be back to this point again but here we are. Time for me to lay down the law all over again starting with new rules" he says staring at me from across our bedroom.
Here he goes giving me the same speech he gave the day he asked me to be his wife. He's predictable, "I know Negan, you don't want me to talk to anyone or to go anywhere. You don't have to waste your breath"
He shakes his head disappointedly, "I see we're already getting a little feisty"
Feisty isn't the word I would use, more like annoyed and tired. A person can only hear the same things a few times before it gets repetitive.
My eyes dance around the room, making my disinterest apparent. Negan notices and of course doesn't let it slide. His fingers find there was to my jaw and he squeezes tight, "Listen up and listen closely. You won't ever have to worry about the temptation of betraying me again because now everywhere I go you go. You're not getting out of my sight unless absolutely necessary"
Hmm, a new rule for once. That's interesting but not without its faults."What about when you go to Alexandria or Hilltop?", I inquire.
"You're going to. It's just that simple. This rule will only change once you're pregnant because then I need to make sure you're extra safe"
Goddamn, not the whole pregnancy thing again. He really needs to move on to something else. "So let me get this straight. I need to get pregnant to have my freedom back?"
He nods and smiles, "If that's how you want to look at it. I don't really see a point in giving you freedom without adequate justification. Your history has shown that freedom without purpose is too much for you to handle"
I hate to say it but I see where he's coming from. It's so annoying to realize this all makes sense when I look at it from his perspective. But this doesn't change the fact that I'm ready to leave everything in the past.
I tell him what I need to convince him that he doesn't need to enforce such harsh restrictions, "You don't have to keep track of me like this. You made yourself clear the other day. I'm not rebelling against you anymore"
Much to my dismay, what I say isn't appeasing to Negan enough to change his mind. Instead, he buckles down, "That sounds all good and well but I can't blindly believe you. Action speaks louder than words. In time, things won't be like this if you can show me that your old life is dead to you"
"That's fair, I'll prove myself", I agree to his terms. I'll have to start from scratch and rebuild his faith in me. With the slate wiped clean, I have a chance to do things right as I should have in the beginning.