The next morning...
You were such a good girl last night" Negan whispers into my ear, as he cuddles me from behind.
I feel so dirty.
This isn't the first time I've had sex with Negan but it felt worse than it did last time. My view of him has never been great but since he's "punished" me, I can barely stomach the thought of him.
"I have shit to handle with Hilltop today but you don't have to go this time, baby" his beard stumble tickles my neck softly.
"Do I still have to do laundry?" I ask curiously.
"Hell no! I won't have my wife doing dirty work. That was your old life, you don't have to do shit anymore"
This should be good new but sitting around all day isn't really my idea of fun, "but I'll get bored"
"Then figure out a way to entertain yourself. As long as it doesn't involve Nate, I don't care"
"I thought you said I could see him if I'm good" I groan, expressing my displeasure.
"No, honey" he deeply chuckles, "I said I would let you see him as a reward"
He then grabs my face in his hand, "and let's get this clear, you don't get rewarded every time you're good. You get rewarded when I feel like you've done something to earn it"
He stares into my eyes, sending shivers up my spine.
"Now, let's go take a shower"
______________________
After breakfast, I decide to wander the Sanctuary, looking for something I can do to be helpful.
"Hey, Simon, " I notice him standing outside of Dr.Carson's office, "You didn't go with Negan?"
"Nope, he wanted me to stay behind and make sure everyone stays in order, " he says to me, leaning against the wall.
"Oh, did he mention anything thing about me?" I ask him, lifting my eyebrow. Simon is his right-hand man, he goes with the Saviors everywhere. Seems kinda like his true mission might be to keep an eye on me.
"Not really, but since we're already talking, there is something I've been meaning to ask you about"
"what?"
"Yesterday at the meeting you weren't acting like yourself, don't get me wrong I know you're not happy about being Negan's wife but it seemed like it was something else bothering you"
"Nothing I just-"
"Don't lie to me" he says sternly.
"Fine, Negan and I got into a fight" I throw my arms up into the air, surrendering the truth to him.
"about?"
I roll my eyes. I don't really want to give details, "he said that I'm not respectful enough to him"
"Yeah, I see that" he lightly chuckles.
"Seriously Simon, what the fuck! You agree with him?"
"No, Carmen, you need to relax" he continues to laugh.
"Whatever, you try being forced to sleep with him at night" I yell as I briskly walk down the hallway.
This is complete shit. I can't believe people expect me to be alright with this situation. Negan has ruined my life in as little as a couple of days and I'm supposed to be grateful for it?
I don't care about what anyone has to say anymore, I'm doing what I want to do.
Angrily stomping my way through the Sanctuary I finally make it to the cells. I have to talk to Nate right now or I feel like I'm going to go crazy.
"Hey it's me, Carmen" I knock lightly, afraid of making too much noise.
"baby what are you doing down here and where's Negan?" Nate whispers back to me.
"He's out for today. I need to talk to you."
"What's going on? You're alright, aren't you?" he asks with worry in his voice.
"Well, yeah, but Negan's been really....mad at me lately", I tell him in a way that doesn't lead on to what exactly went down between us.
"I swear to God, I will rip his fucking throat out if he has laid his hands on you"
"N-no, he hasn't" I lie, fearing his reaction if I tell him about my punishment. "he's just been very irritable every since the last time we saw each other. I-I just don't know what to do" my voice cracks as I hold back tears.
"Carmen, you have no idea how much I wish I could hold you right now, but I can't. All I can do is say that you need to look out for yourself now. Don't get yourself in trouble with Negan for me. It won't end well for either of us."
"I know but it's so hard to pretend that I'm not in love with you still. He wants me to completely forget about you" I explain my dilemma to him.
"Then do it", he says bluntly.
"Do what?"
"Forget about me. Maybe that's what needs to happen because I couldn't live with myself if anything happens to you because of me."
"Nate, Do you hear yourself right now? how can I forget about my husband? I know I need to fly under the radar for a little while but I won't let myself ever give in to Negan" I get defensive with him. Emotion clouds my mind to the advice he's giving me.
"I'm not telling you to give in, I'm telling you to be smart! The sooner he thinks you're over me the sooner I can get out of here. Then we can talk about how to get out of this situation" he stands his ground, sounding more assertive this time.
Instead of arguing with him, I calm myself down and actually consider his perspective.
"You're right, he'll never let you out of here if he thinks I still love you. I guess my next step would be to convince him otherwise"
"Yes, that's exactly what I need you to do. That's our plan going forward but for this to work, no one can catch you talking to me"
"I made sure no one was around" I try to reassure him.
"good, but we still shouldn't risk it. You need to go back before anyone notices you're gone"
"Ok, I'll go but I have one last thing to tell you"
"What?" he whispers this time.
I push my lips closer to the door, "I love you"
"I love you too"
________________________
On my way back to the my room, I walk past a awfully familiar door.
I haven't been here since Negan made me his wife, All of the recent events that I've endured have completely consumed my time.
I knock on the door, waiting for a response.
She doesn't answer but I decide to go in anyways. She is my best friend after all.
The door creaks as I push it open, my eyes go direct to Jackie lying in the bed, she's turned on her side with her back facing me.
"Hey, wake up I've missed you" I softly shake her shoulder.
"huh, oh, Carmen. What are you doing here?" she asks tiredly but stays in the same position
"I just wanted to stop by and say hello. Come on get up" I shake her shoulder again.
She deeply sighs then turns her body to face me.
"oh my god, what happened?" I gasp at the sight of her blackened left eye.
It's so swollen she can barely hold it open.
"Simon, h-he hit-" before she can finish her sentence she burst into tears.
"Jackie, it's going to be okay" I rush to her side, hugging her tightly. "I'll tell Negan, he'll do something about this"
"No, he won't, Carmen, he was there when it happened" her voice is shaky and she cries even harder, clenching on to my shirt.
My jaw practically drops to the floor hearing that Negan allowed this. I shouldn't be surprised though, considering the fact that he spanked me with a belt, but somehow I still had the impression that he was against woman-beaters because of his anti-rape rule.
"I'm so sorry, I should've been here for you the last couple of days but I just had so much going on"
"It's not your fault, When I found out that Negan forced you to marry him I was so concerned, please tell me he's not hitting you too"
I hesitate to answer. I don't want to make her even more upset but I also don't want to lie to her.
"yesterday he beat me with a belt," I tell her, making my eyes start to water as well.
"I knew it" she shakes her head, "it's only a matter of time until Negan starts treating you as bad as Simon treats me"
For a couple of minutes, we don't say anything. All we do is hold on to each other. The room fills with nothing but sadness and tears.
"Jackie!"
We both jolt at the voice that comes from behind the door and my grip on her tightens protectively.
"We need to talk," the voice says again.
She begins to shake aggressive and her breathing becomes uncontrollable.
"Don't worry, I'll get him to go away" I whisper to her softly.
I stand to open the door, knowing who I'm going to face. To be honest, I'm scared shitless but I have to be brave for my friend. The only thing I can think about is what is he going to do when he sees me.