It's been two weeks since I've been here. Each day was the same. Wake up. Dance practice. Etiquette class. Outfit fittings. Sleep. You'd think I'd be nervous or afraid, but if anything, I was bored.
Sure, the uprooting was sudden and harsh, but I had adjusted just fine to my new life, even if it hasn't been too long since I left Louisiana.
I think it's the feeling of doing the exact thing every single day that's made two weeks feel like two months. What I'd give for one normal thing to happen today, even if it's fleeting.
It's also been two weeks since I've seen him. Our meeting wasn't what I'd thought it'd be. To be honest, I thought he wouldn't bother to look at me. That might be the ideal situation now considering he knows I'm not a guest at his hotel, but a worker; more correctly, a stripper.
No man would want to be associated with someone like me, especially a man like that.
As if I cared.
I was so many things right now. Angry. Sad. Scared. The last thing I wanted to worry about was my first impression. That might be the only thing I needed to worry about right now.
My instructors told me this morning that I was ready to perform in front of the clients. Needless to say, I'm terrified. No sane person can do this after everything that just happened to me.
I don't want to do this. I don't like the idea of me doing this. All those men staring at me, watching me spread eagle on a pole, slowing taking off my garments for their perverted eyes.
Nope. I can't possibly go through with this.
"You ready," Izzy said, walking up from behind me. I glanced at her through the mirror I was standing in front of and shook my head.
"I'm nervous," I confessed, covering my stomach as if holding it would send my nerves away.
It didn't.
"All those eyes on me. I feel naked."
She smiled and undid the black robe I wore, revealing my Swarovski crystal-studded, custom made outfit. Almost nothing was covered except my breast and ass, though my bra did nothing to cover them completely.
"You are gorgeous, Anna. You're the product of a supermodel and sexiest man alive."
Not exactly. "Your point?" she placed a matching mask over my eyes and tied the stain string behind my head.
"There's nothing for you to fear. You've improved quickly enough to perform. Now come on, it's time for your grand debut."
Isabelle grabbed my hand and led me through and out of the dressing room. Every possible thing that could go wrong was running on an endless loop in my mind.
The embarrassment. The vulgar comments. The shame. Maybe everyone thought I was ready physically, but I knew that I wasn't, especially mentally.
I also knew that this wasn't made out to be a choice. I was going through those doors whether I liked it or not. Either that or face the wrath of my boss. What he was truly capable of, I had no idea, but I doubt he'd let just anyone disobey him.
Izzy opened the door slightly and we peered down the hall. Distant chatter and sweet, seductive music slipped past the opening.
Only a small part of me felt okay about this. Beyond my fear and anxiety that was storming in my body was a tiny calm wave. It wasn't enough to make the jitters go away, but I recognized the feeling and kept it close in my thoughts.
"Okay, " Isabelle said as she peered along with me, "Don't forget eye contact. And remember to spend a good about of time for the floor dance."
"Okay."
"And remember to keep your spread eagle perfectly aligned."
"Got it." please stop talking, I thought.
"And if they ask for a private show, don't be so willing. It's all about the-"
"Temptation, " I finished for her. I turned to face her. "You're not making me any less nervous, Isabelle."
She sighed and closed the door. "I know, " she admitted, "I'm sorry, Anna. It's just very important to do well tonight. This isn't the El Royale. This is top of the line and they're expecting the best of the best."
"Still not helping."
"Right. Sorry. You're ready for this. Don't think. just dance."
"Isabelle, " one of the dancers called for her, "we need some help over here,"
"Coming, " she shouted back. "Okay, you're all set to dance on pole number six, so whenever you're ready, you can go ahead."
"Okay, I'll just...have a slight panic attack before heading out, " I mumbled as she walked away to assist someone.
I went over the moves in my head, trying to picture the final results of my training in front of an audience, not that I haven't performed for a crowd already. During my classes, many of the girls came to observe and critique my dances, helping me perfect it.
They weren't entirely nice, pointing out every flaw in my movements, but they weren't a bitch fest either. Their opinions were to help and improve which it did for me.
Quietly, I opened the door again and walked soundlessly down the corridor, peaking at the people in the V.I.P. sections as they were entertained by some of the dancers and talked amongst themselves.
Izzy and Lily told me I'd be back here more once the customers got a good look at me. I know they didn't mean for it to sound disgusting but you can only hear it one way.
Men, and occasionally women, are going to view me as merchandise, buy my time and expect me to dance for them, among other things. During my training, I was told I'd have to mingle with them as well. Converse with them. Laugh at their jokes.
All for a meer two grand an hour. People would say I'm overreacting, that I should be glad that I don't have to live paycheck to paycheck anymore or live in a tiny studio apartment and not pay rent.
But everything has a price. Especially money and how it's earned.
I opened the main hall door and looked across the room. It was the complete opposite of a night at the El Royale. No loud confrontations. No bar fights. The women weren't being assaulted. And there was no sign of blood splatter on the walls.
That I knew of.
Instead, the men chatted away with their escorts and drank Blue Label and Dom Perignon at their booths. A band played a soothing yet seductive jazz tune and combined with the dimmed lighting, this place felt more like a dream than reality.
I almost felt embarrassed to dance now. Not the 'I'm afraid for people to see me like this' embarrassed, but the status of everyone. They call came from money; so much that they could spend their free time in a secret mafia club.
I guess it was only natural for someone like me to feel inferior to people like them. At least for right now, no one knew me or my origin. Here, I'm just another pretty girl whose about to make more in the next hour than I did in the last six months.
I closed the door and took the last few moments to relax my mind and let all of my anxiety and fear go. None of it could be brought to that pole with me. If it did, then I couldn't do my job, which meant I wasn't of any use to my new boss and I'd probably end up like the other people who couldn't do what Mr. Giordano told them to do.
Metaphorically speaking, of course. Who knows what he does to them, let alone me. I was just a chess piece at the moment. Easily disposable. When Richard's debt is repaid if it ever is, will I ever leave? I could be killed off to cover tracks and have my body thrown in the Hudson River.
Or maybe they'll keep me here forever. Honestly, both were pretty terrifying to think of.
People like the Giordanos and Acostas, they have a reputation to uphold. Nothing could be handled lightly. That's why he took me from my home so that he could prove a point. Nothing is ever really ours if someone more powerful than you can take it away so easily.
"Maybe if I sneak out and run away, I can live in peace," I mumbled to myself. The idea to run had crossed my mind every day since I've arrived here, but I wouldn't know how or where to go. This place was foreign to me.
"If you do that, then I'll have no choice but to hunt you down and drag you back, dead or alive," a deep voice said behind me.
My eyes widened as I analyzed it. Only one person can say something like that and mean it.
I heard him walk closer behind me but I was too flustered and afraid to face him. "But if you do, just know that I enjoy the hunt."