"why is this picture with him?"
"What is she to him?"
"Are they friends? parted lovers? classmates? his maternal relative?"
questions popped in his head like popcorn in a microwave.
"I have questions but I'm not sure I want answers to them..." he muttered, glaring at the picture with his soulless dark eyes.
curiosity kills the cat. he knew that. he was ready to be destroyed.
"it doesn't matter anyway if he is seeing her or he's eyeing on her .. I can't give up without trying even a little. it can't ruin things between me and my brother..as if things can get any worse of our wretched relationship. "
He gave Jade's belongings to him back. Like the moment he left, Jaden hurriedly bolted the door and opened the bag, gently pulled out the photo, caressing it. Smiling to himself, his pupils dilating, few drops of tears flowing down his pale cheeks.
"oy, azure. I miss you. azure. azure. the more I say your name, the more I feel miserable. I heard you were sent to London to your aunt's place. are you happy? you said you wanted to try custard buns, waffles and open up your bakery..you must be in high school, right?"
He giggled and continued to pour wine in his glass, another round and another he went on drinking "you must be such a fetus still! look at you! you must be eighteen. you can drink, marry, drive a car from today! must be special. in the name of your birthday, another shot!"
He poured his vessel full, his face turning bright red in semi-joy and other half was the emptiness he couldn't describe. "cheers!" he hit the glass with another glass filled with wine on the other side of his table with an empty chair. He dropped on his table.
"you have no idea. How many places I searched for you in London. There might be corners I forgot to check, obviously but why does my heart say you're somewhere near? close to me watching me?" he cried, punching his chest.
" I still love you. maybe you're better off pieces of the puzzle of your stupid past far away from your reach. you deserve a happier life than all the shit you've dealt with. I just want to make sure you're living your life to your fullest. I want to witness your pretty smile on your small face which I couldn't see much at that time. sadly. " he titled the glass, simpering. took in the last shot and dozed off.
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As soon as the Monday morning strikes, the Sho family starts the day earlier than most of the homes in the colony. Mrs Sho turns on the coffee machine and goes off to the mall road, a bustling place to sell her flowers with more than reasonable price as the foreigner tourists would never try to bargain due to lack of knowledge. that is her ingenious plan which almost always is successful.
She widely beams at the people passing by. like for instance this young city gal, a total diva with her polished high heels and red nails look so fresh and glossy as it's made just now.
"OH, MY MY LOOK AT THIS YOUNG BEAUTY. Bitch , you're fantastic! just like wild roses, you'll get million guys and girls addicted to you. loveable as roses. lady, check them out. get em, baby girl." she winked
the lady creeped out walked out of there fastly "Ew, no thanks. what the fuck" she wrinkled her nose
"why now what she threw a fit at me for ?" Mrs Sho widened her eyes in disbelief
"ugh ..ma, what'd you expect talking like that. if I were her I'd be disgusted too." Rin walked to her and stood beside her flexing how tall she looks compared to Mrs Sho's petite self.
"isn't that how city gals talk though," she said in a weird accent.
"that's when people are with their friends. imagine someone stranger to you walks up to you and says 'oh baby gurl ' what the-" she scolded.
"I'd be flattered if I have someone actually calling me that. you'll understand when you lose your youth, honey." she sighed "anyways, mama has to take care of the shop. have a great day sweetie ! do make friends, lovers, enemies, cause each day is spicy with people who despise you "
"okay but lovers? ha. I agree there's a lot of eyes on me but doesn't mean I'll take them all!" Rin boasted.
"that's my girl!" Mrs Sho and Rin clapped their hands in the air.
"bye, ma "
"my lovely buttercup, see you"
Rin chuckled with he hands in her pockets, taking a bus to the school. a new year means a lot. a chance to be someone better, wiser, nicer. more than half of the school has something or other against her . why? because she speaks and acts without a second thought. she does what she thinks is right. that's what others think of her as. either people hate her or love her. there's no in-between. just like an antagonist of a thriller novel. you can either hate them or love them.
she's been called many names and it's been just two terms of high school so far. basic bitch, slut, spoilt brat, miss egoistic, love thirsty, attention seeker, guy thirsty just because she talks to her admirers just to keep their heart, otherwise she's least bothered. all she cares about is her club, hygiene and being classy in whatever she does.
she walks down the school hall, closing her eyes, ignorant to mouths whispering about, her shoulders wide she walks with all the pride, anxious inside but a weak back means a coward to her. she's never gonna fall on her knees, our miss egoistic. she's greeted by her only two friends, Aria and Lia, both in the same year as her . "hey girl what's up!" Aria waved cheerily. "he? are you an elementary student. what kind of greeting is that?" Lia judged . on seeing the two her side she gained a lot of confidence than when she was walking alone . "do you see people talking about ..I wonder if it's about the scandal ..y'know..is it about our newspaper pinned on the bulletin board?" Lia gulped but managing to walk straight and gracefully.
"I don't think so. we haven't stuck the papers yet " Aria said. there was a bit of gathering in the canteen.
"a new student? he's a total hottie! seems like he has connections with a clothing brand, that one, wait do you know that advertisement ?? he was in one right?? "
"ah, he was a toddler back then! quite an old ad. Yang Cyan. wasn't that the name? "
few girls gossiping passed by.
"did you hear that?" Lia glanced at Rin, trying her best to make a poker face.
"uh, what about it?"
"remember we need a new member for our club? " Aria smirked.
"rock paper scissors. whoever's gonna lose will convince him to join us"
"sounds nice"
"rock"
"paper"
"scissors"
Rin rolled her fist while the other two outspread their palms out.
"Sho Rin!! " the two of them cackled "go get him!"
she nodded and gave a thumbs up. she went to his table to find others already circling him. pushing them over, she saw a shimmering sunflower yellow-haired shining under the blinking lights of the canteen, the almond eyes locking hers, they are not perfect strangers. they've met each other before, he's the same guy and she's the same girl from last night. she was pleased to see him again her brows resting down no more furious or scared because it was after all a familiar face.
"hey! you!! nice to see you here. you're a school student? wah." Cyan Yang jumped out his seat . "uhuh..by the way, can we see each other in the next recess. I have something to say."
"me?" he pointed his finger at himself in doubt and surprise.
"of course, or who?."
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after the third period, history. Rin climbed upstairs to the terrace where she asked him to come. her eyes glittering due to the sunbeam dancing expected from a two 'o clock noon, blinded she out her hand on her forehead blocking the ray and staring Cyan Yang, shining, who looked ten times prettier under the sun standing on the edge of the wall.
"HEY !! do you want to die???" Rin ran to him against the wind blowing her side and pulled him towards her by grabbing his hand, widened eyes with fright.
" no. why did you... do you care for me that much?" he teased, sticking his tongue.
" do you think it as a joke??? are you for real? " she cried . "life is once. a second is too short. anything can happen in that. you might slip away!!! you idiot. have you lost your mind?? you don't realise how precious life is. being reckless like this ... sometimes life is unfortunate...things happen ..in an instant.. scarring the rest of your life...you might have just a few hazy unclear memories of it and almost feels like you've forgotten it but it doesn't. it never does. it is dug deep in hearts and haunts you for your eternity." she screamed on his face.
an awkward pause fills the room with blank faces. she backs away realising she spoke too much unnecessarily. he was left speechless, blinking eyes in confusion and it hit him a little in the heart. he froze giving it a thought because he could understand. flashbacks played on his head uninvited and unintentionally and few voices in his head echoed.
"cyan, my cupcake, if you have to choose to live, will you live with mummy or stay here?" she pushed her trolley out of the room and knelt down to reach the tiny height of her kid.
"not you! I will stay with auntie! she bakes me treats, plays with me, takes me to school, brushes my hair. you just go to tea parties and leave me alone ...mummy.I love auntie. please?."
"you won't miss momma?"
"auntie will take care of me momma doesn't worry. I won't miss you " he grinned hugging his teddy.
"I see..you're such a good boy...but you know? I think momma would like it if you were not good but clingy, wouldn't leave me and say you miss me, trouble me and say you wanted to come along" she murmured, rubbing her eyes. the five-year-old couldn't sense the pain in her voice broke as she spoke and gave a hug, the last hug.
that memory of him as five stuck in his head since forever.
Cyan Yang smiled softly at Rin "I get you. I'm sorry. anyways, what was it you wanted to say?."
"uh... that ..."
"can I ask you something?" cyan interrupted "I mean, I have something to say as well. "
"Go on.."
" are you sho rin ? or Azure?"
"Sho is my family name. Azure is my middle name, apparently what my birth mother named me as and that's why I prefer to go by it but nobody cooperates. and Rin is my official name. So it's Sho Azure Rin."
"ah, perfect! and...you're in newspaper club? "
"IN? I am the head of it, sir ." she gazed, open mouth.
"ah. ah .. okay ...okay...sorry .." he chuckled and his fluffy hair covering his right eye as the wind blows past.
"I heard you wanted to apply for a design school. that was unimaginable," he said
"unimaginable? how so? is my fashion sense out of place or is it my hair?" she started brushing it, anxiously.
"no-no! you got it wrong. you're well dressed..but it isn't you to be honest...like ..I heard you're quite a puzzle-solving gem and plus you're in news club. I thought you'd be interested in law. well, I guess the saying is true..' don't judge a book by the cover' ."
"uh..this news club was of my friend. she started it. she graduated when I just entered year two...she forced me to be in it and we were friends since middle school ..I couldn't say no..first I was reluctant but now I'm liking it. it's like a breath of fresh air..a hobby which pays me too!"
."pays you?" he asked
"yeah..the school magazine is bought by the students. we stick in the highlights of it on the board which should be interesting enough to make them buy. each magazine costs $5. "
"do you by chance do this to save money for the design school?"
"hm. I can't ask from my family..they are not even related to me by blood but they already do so much for me. I am yet to payback for all that..how can I even dream of something so pricy." she gulped, upset. "my father is sick but he still works at a restaurant. my mother is pressured by her brother for money ...but she's just a goddamn florist..how can he make her clear his debts.. when my mother has her own debts to pay for! " she complained, "oh..sorry for ranting all of my personal business..it just hurts that they all suck financially but still out me in this money-sucking parasite of a school..the fees are way too much!"
"is it?..." Cyan Yang didn't see the struggle. the amount seemed pretty less for him but he didn't say anything as he knows he'd sound like an asshole if he says it's nothing as he does realise that not all are born with a silver spoon like him. he kept nodding to whatever she said . " also there are so many hurdles in my life " she dramatically sobbed "we need another member for our club! so can you? please don't say no! please!!!" she looked at him with puppy eyes to make the deal. while he was mentally preparing to confess his feelings "of course but listen to I-" he stood up. Rin's the phone buzzed suddenly in the middle "wait a sec. ah nevermind" she seemed disgusted on seeing that message. "what is it, miss Rin?" . "ahh, nothing just useless pop-ups, you know, the ones that say they can tell about your love life by reading your palms? " she flinched. "oh, you don't believe in horoscopes and all? me too" he smiled.
"not that. I just don't believe in love and in fact have owed to myself I'll never fall for anyone." she stated boldly " I ain't got no time for it."
He froze hopelessly felt like a fool . all his dreams were shattered but that was until an idea flashed across his head, he smirked. "Azure " he shouted "let's date ." a goofy smile plastered on his face
"what? didn't you just hear? oh, wait. must be a joke" she laughed.
"it's not " he didn't smile a bit which made her believe his words "I'm sorry but I did say that--"
"you don't have to fall for me. it's just a show we put on. I have a fiancee, actually will be set up with her . her father is a really rich man . he has all control over my dad and his business as he financially helps us and also the fact that I have to intern there next summer. I don't want to sell myself to them. help me"
"and why I would take all the trouble to do that? I'm not as kind as you think I am" she denied
"I never said you'd do this with nothing in return. sure the girl and that man are crazy rich. but we aren't any less. I'll pay for your fees and also make sure to get you a scholarship "
"no way. I don't want a freeway for my dream. I'd rather work hard for that"
"Okay, but you know how hard it is to get it? you can show that you deserve the spot later. in this world nothing is fair. everything is money. which I have. I'll also join your club. "
Rin wasn't an all righteous person. she found it quite a good deal just was cautious. why would he pay such a ridiculous amount for her . he could easily tempt plenty of girls with that face. why her? but she was like a Goldilocks, greedy for the money, without considering second thought he shook hands with him "fine by me" Cyan kept the steady eye contact and closed-lip smiled, he kept his arm around her waist and pulled her closer . "what are you doing??" she tried to back off, flustered.
"practising to practice on our acting skills. "
" I hate you "
"But you love me" he teased. he leaned closer and gently planted a kiss on her forehead, pushing her bangs aside as he curved his hands on her head.
"Sho Rin Azure. I'll make you fall in love with me and change your mind. just wait. I'll be your one and only." he mumbled to himself.
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