Chapter 23: Hell Hath No Fury
Regina Mills considered herself to be a reasonable woman—laugh all you want. But given all the circumstances in her life, she found that for the most part she handled them with grace and tact.
Okay, so there were all those incidents with the poison apple. But if you knew Snow White, you probably would've used something a little stronger than a poison apple.
Regina sometimes wished she would've.
Like Rumple or her mother, they probably would've resorted to just pulling Snow's heart out and being done with her there.
That, in Regina's opinion, was a lot more impulsive. To be fair, Regina admitted that Rumple probably wouldn't have pulled out Snow's heart until he was really ticked off. He had a little more tact than Cora—not much. But at least he showed creativity.
Her mother was just so predictable.
Which was one of the many reasons why Regina was at her wit's end. What was Cora up to?
That and she wanted to kill her mother for what she tried to do to her brother the other night.
Maintain, Regina, she told herself. Now was not the time, Harry was missing.
She had gotten the call earlier in the day a little after lunch. In all, it had been a fairly normal day. She was planning on getting some anti-troll legislation passed (because seriously, who wanted trolls trolling around the bridges, even if they didn't look like trolls) and she had just gotten off the phone terrorizing Mrs. Shoe for her horrible yard art and was about to go to go to lunch when Bookworm Barbie called.
Harry knew.
And he had disappeared with magic. Broke through Rumple's wards.
She had to give her brother applause for that. He had some sort of power there, even if he didn't know how to use it properly.
However, the fact that Harry was able to disappear and cut off the protection wards they had put around him with very little thought was also alarming.
Add to that he knew she was The Evil Queen and Gold was Rumpelstiltskin that made things even worse.
It didn't help that Gold was furious with Henry.
Who didn't know better.
Regina had to keep him from storming off to wherever her son was and yelling at him.
"He doesn't know better, Gold."
"Doesn't know better. Really? How do you think Harry felt, Regina?"
To be honest, Regina probably would've reacted the same way Gold was had Harry blurted out sensitive information to Henry (okay, maybe not since Harry was her brother), she still emphasized with his concern though.
She sighed, "I don't know what we're going to tell him. I mean, I'm sure he's grown up with this world's version of us."
"Thank God, Disney doesn't have a movie about me."
"No, you just got stuck with one of the Shrek sequels. I think that's worse." She said.
"Shrek?"
"I forgot you try not to absorb this world's pop culture."
"I really don't think we have time to talk about such trivial things, Regina. I want to find my son."
"I do too." She said, "Are you sure the blood globe's not working?"
Gold frowned. "Um, I've been trying to fine tune it to Bae's blood so that I can find him."
"Bae?" Regina asked, "What sort of name is that?"
"Never you mind." Gold snapped.
"I think I have the right to know, if we could be using that tool to find my brother."
Belle decided to interrupt them. "Bae is his other son, Regina."
"Someone decided to reproduce with him again, ew! But seriously, you have another son?"
"I'd rather not talk about Bae right now." Gold said. "I want to find Harry. I could try the globe, I don't know how far the tuning spell is…"
Regina cut him off. "You and I both know it won't work. We're going to have to think outside the box. Let's focus on what we know, he broke through your wards and mine, but he probably won't be able to break through the town wards."
"I'm going to work on the blood globe." Gold said ignoring her. "I think I can get something ready in the next few hours."
Regina glared at him, "Harry will be home within a few hours."
Oh, she'd make sure of it.
"You don't think Cora has him, do you?" Belle asked.
Regina laughed. "My mother, seriously. I doubt it. I think Harry had enough of her the other day when she tried to kill him."
"Yes, but…" Belle said. "She's his mother."
"So?"
Cora was Regina's mother and she had enough of her.
Okay, deep down Regina sort of understood where Belle was coming from. She remembered when she was younger and desperate for Cora's approval. That was before Cora had ripped out Daniel's heart and destroyed whatever happiness Regina had in her life.
She shuddered, she hope that never happened to Harry.
Belle sighed. "Well, he might want a mother figure."
"Doesn't he have you?" Regina snickered knowing how awkward the current tale—that Belle was Harry's mother—was.
Yeah, like anyone with a half a brain would believe that with the way her little brother blushed around the small brunette.
Then again, most Storybrooke residences lacked brain cells. And Emma seemed to buy the whole idea, and so did everyone else since Snow hadn't tried to come over to the mayor's office to confront her.
Really?
She didn't get why Snow still tried to be in the same room as her. If Regina were Snow—forbid the thought—she'd have a restraining order. Or better yet, she'd feed her a poison apple.
And she was back to the apples.
"So, do you have anything planned, dearie?" Gold said pulling her out of her thoughts.
Regina sighed. "No. Not really. I'm going to look in Harry-ish places."
"Like his bedroom?" Gold said.
Regina rolled her eyes. "You know, he liked going out in town."
"He's been in bed for the past few weeks." Gold countered. "Really, didn't get around town much."
Yes, but Regina had a feeling that her brother was going to leave town. Which was why she went to the town line after leaving Gold and found nothing.
She sighed heavily. Surely, it wasn't that hard to find an eleven-year-old. Sure, it was summer time, but Storybrooke didn't have that many kids. She tried to figure out where else her brother could've gone. The town line was her best bet because she knew if she found out her relatives were fairytale villains she'd want to get the hell out of Dodge too.
Regina had no idea how she was going to talk to him about this. She didn't regret anything she did, but she hated how the world perceived her. Yes, she had made some ruthless decisions, but she had made them after much thought.
She hoped within time, Harry would accept her. But look at her relationship with Henry.
Speaking of Henry, she was supposed to pick him up tonight. He was staying with her. The Charmings had relented with the threat of a lawsuit.
Emma really didn't have a leg to stand on. Regina had looked into it. Of course, she could make a claim about that turnover, but could she prove it? Even if she could, she didn't have rights to Henry. She gave them up. No standing there.
Yeah, she had talked to Gold about it. Sometimes, they did talk about things other than Henry when they had tea. And he was the best lawyer in town and found Emma annoying.
He also wanted the chance to actually sue someone too.
Not that it actually happened. However, she figured that letter he sent did cause some waves since Emma called her for the first time in months the other day to figure out some sort of arrangement.
Yeah, arrangement. The only reason Regina hadn't gone for the jugular yet, was that she wanted to slowly ease Henry back into life at Casa Mills.
That and she was sick of being portrayed as the evil parent, when Emma had been the one to say she didn't want him.
Regina had been looking forward to tonight, so much, but now she didn't know how she felt about it. It felt wrong spending time with her son when her brother was out there somewhere. And honestly, like Gold she was a little miffed at Henry. Couldn't he ever shut up about the stupid book?
He had obviously been hanging out with the Charmings way too much.
She was going to talk to him at some point about tact.
Sighing, she made her way over towards Granny's the so-called designated meeting place. Heaven forbid, she meet Henry at the Charmings house or at her mansion. It had to be at one of the worst (one of the only) restaurants in town.
You'd think the townspeople would finally learn to vary their restaurant options after the curse was finished, but nope.
Not one decent restaurant had popped up. It was just Granny's and that sad little bar she decided to throw in as a bonus with the curse.
The thing about Granny's is that it really didn't have any sense of privacy. You could see through the window and spy quite effortlessly, which was why Regina almost had a coronary as she watched Emma Swan fawn all over that stupid pirate Cora was shagging.
Oh, this would not do.
She would not have her son raised by a pirate. And seriously, Emma should know better than to be with a two timing pirate.
Seriously.
She had seen enough of Hook to know he was no good. However, before she rushed in with both barrels blazing, Regina decided to use some tact.
Taking a deep breath, she remembered that she was the mature adult. Plus, if Emma was with the pirate that made any future custody battle easier.
She looked at the pirate; he looked like he got a beating via Cora. Hmm, what was her mother up to?
"Regina," Emma said moving far away from Hook when she saw the mayor enter the restaurant.
"Emma and Hook?"
"I was just speaking to Emma about…"
"Filling out a police report for domestic violence." Emma said.
"Really?" Regina said. "Seems like it was a bit more."
"Well, it could be more." Hook said with a smile.
Regina wanted to gauge out those pretty blue eyes as she watched them move up and down her body.
Really, Emma?
She only hoped whoever Henry's biological father was, was a step above this idiot.
"Where's Henry?" She finally said after she could control her rage.
"He's eating dinner with my parents." Emma said, "I had to stay late, do some paperwork, so David's dropping him off. Or maybe Mary Margret, I don't know. He'll be here."
She wanted to roll her eyes at how irresponsible Swan was, but she didn't. Instead, she asked Granny to get her a cup of coffee—black no sugar.
"Planning on staying up all night?" Emma asked.
Regina shrugged. "Maybe. I have work that needs to be done."
"You sure you don't want Henry to stay with us we could always…"
"No." Regina said, "My son is coming home with me tonight."
Emma sighed. "Hey, you know where your mother is?"
"Does this have anything to do with the pirate's domestic violence claim?"
"It's Captain Hook, my lady."
Regina rolled her eyes. "My mother gave you a shiner. Seriously? Couldn't you have done some damage to her with that hook of yours? And it's your majesty. I am a queen not a lowly lady."
Hook gulped as Emma gave him a questionable look. "Magic, your majesty."
"Oh, please." Regina said then turning to Emma she said, "He's just doing this to get in your pants."
Emma looked at her and then turned back to Hook. "He has a black eye, Regina. It doesn't appear that he went crazy with the eyeliner to create it either."
"Whatever." Regina huffed. "Can you call your parents? I'd rather Henry not be out this late, he has a nine o'clock bedtime, you know."
"I didn't know he had a bedtime." Emma said dazed.
And this was why Emma Swan was not fit to raise a goldfish, let alone a child.
"Emma!" Regina barked after getting tired of looking at the clueless look on the blonde's face.
"Okay, okay, I'll call them. I don' t know why they're late anyway."
Emma was about to get on her phone when Henry came bonding into the restaurant. A big smile on his face and undoubtedly high on sugar, Regina thought.
"Mom!" He said smiling, "You're here."
"Of course I'm here," Regina said eying him. "Ready to go home."
The boy nodded. As this was going on Emma's phone rang.
Regina rolled her eyes as a sullen Hook looked on with longing at the blonde who was now not paying any attention to him at all.
"So, how was dinner?" Regina said ignoring the Captain Swan angst.
"It was good." Charming said instead of Henry. "Henry had a friend over."
"Did you?" Regina asked.
Henry nodded. "Yeah, well, I didn't invite him exactly."
"Snow saw Just Harry on the beach," Charming said. "She thought he was upset so she invited him over for dinner."
"His name," Regina spit out, "Is Harry. Is he still there? I know his parents have been looking for him."
She had half a mind to just appear in the Charmings living room at that point, but she didn't exactly want to scare her brother.
David shrugged. "I think he was leaving, I'll call Snow. And I guess Belle."
She glared at him, "The woman is his mother. I think she has a right to know where her missing son is."
"Uh, yeah." David said. "Hey, why don't you call her?"
"I will." Regina huffed. And they said she was callous.
She pulled out her cell and started typing Gold's digits in when she felt something grab her arm. Imagine to her surprise, when it was Henry. "Don't, Mom. Please. Harry needs time to himself right now."
Regina rolled her eyes. She was not getting another morality lesson from an eleven-year-old. Especially about child rearing. "Henry, Harry is a child. Just like you. He is missing his parents are worried sick about him."
"Mr. Gold isn't his father." Henry countered.
"Family doesn't have to be blood." She said giving Henry a dirty look.
It didn't seem to resonate with Henry who proceeded to tell Regina that Harry was upset.
"Yes, because of you."
God, was she really being such a bitch to her son? It was his fault though and sometimes he really put his foot in his mouth. Like that comment about Gold. Did Henry really think that blood made family? Were the ten years she spent as mother spent for nothing?
"Regina." Emma's voice broke her out these thoughts. "We have a problem."
She turned to look at the blonde. "Really, what can't you handle now?"
Oh, yeah, the bitchiness was out in full force tonight.
Emma gulped. "Hey, I can totally handle it myself. I thought you might want to know being mayor and all."
"What is going on, Swan?"
"There's been what appears to be a large pool of blood in the street. Hit and run it appears. There's no evidence but…"
Really, how did this concern her? She was mayor not a rent a cop like Emma. However, because Regina was a control freak and actually cared about the state of the town she said. "Fine. What do you need me for, Swan?"
"Um, maybe some CSI magic."
Even Charming thought this was a bad idea. "Emma, I'm sure…"
Regina decided she wasn't going to be pushed around by the blonde. "I have to inform a mother where her child is, Swan. Then I'm taking Henry with me back to my house since I'm responsible for him. I am not a police officer. Do you understand?"
"Yes," Emma said. "I guess I can call Gold maybe he can give me some CSI Magic."
Regina laughed. Yeah, try Gold right now, Swan. He'd probably turn you into a snail with the way his day was going.
"Mom, please. Help. Someone could be hurt."
Henry, Henry, Henry. Yeah, they were going to have a talk about who gives morality lessons.
However, she didn't want to go into full-blown lecture mode now so all she said was. "Henry, I'm the adult here. Emma is sheriff. I am not a doctor or a police officer. I am the mayor. Therefore, it is not my responsibility. My responsibility is to you. And as a mother, I have a responsibility to tell Belle where her lost child is."
"Um, about that." David said, "I called Snow, it appears Harry left the house not that long after Henry and I did. So…he might be."
"Might be what?" Emma asked.
Regina didn't have to hear David's not so logical conclusion, she knew what he was trying to say. That Harry might be the victim of the hit and run.
If that was the case, she pitied whoever hit her brother because both she and Gold would be after them.