Chapter 16: It's Elementary, My Dear Henry…Um, Maybe Not
Emma Swan prided herself on figuring things out. She might've not been a brain, but she was street smarts. And when she figured something out, she figured it out.
Which was why she was pretty sure Just Harry was Regina's son.
It made sense.
Perfect sense.
Save for the Gold stuff, but that could even be explained with Regina's bashed in head. Of course, she wouldn't want her own kid seen by Whale. Then again, Henry did go to the hospital the other week to get some shots—but—Emma was digressing.
Which was why she was very comfortable confronting Gold and Regina about whom she thought the boy was because they couldn't deny it.
Besides, was fully concentrated on her super power right now. No lie would get passed Emma Swan.
"He's not her son." A voice that Emma wasn't expecting said.
Belle.
Emma almost forgot that the librarian was shacking up with Gold. Or was even with him (she avoided, at all cost, watching the two play tongue hockey on their weekly date at Granny's—most of the town did). But there she was. Clad in what appeared to be Gold's bathrobe ( Double ew!).
Honestly, she shouldn't have been that surprise. She saw the two of them last night at the pawnshop acting all coupley, but still seeing them together at his house—added more to the creep factor of the two of them.
Trying to act like the professional, Emma said. "This really doesn't concern you, ma'am."
God, she used ma'am. She really was becoming a professional.
Belle raised her eyebrow. "I think it does, since you're talking about my son."
Emma raised her eyebrow. The woman wasn't lying. Her super power was telling her that much. But there was no way Belle was Just Harry's mom. Belle couldn't be older than her and having a kid that old just didn't make sense.
Well, she had Henry young, she guessed.
But they didn't look that much a like either.
Well, just Harry had darkish hair and was tiny like Belle and pale, but….he….and how could she be with someone else if she was with Gold now? Anyone with half a brain, wouldn't be with that guy unless they were desperate.
Or a gold digger.
Or maybe book digger.
So, it was possible?
"How?" Emma asked.
"That's my personal business." Belle said cutting her off.
"But obviously he's not his." She said looking at Gold. Because, uh, no. She didn't want to think about Gold having kids. That would be ridiculous.
"Obviously, not." Regina interjected. "Just Harry or Harry as he's known to normal people, happens to be from a prior relationship that Ms. French had before she…well, before she and Rumple got acquainted."
Emma narrowed her eyes. Her lying senses never worked that well around Regina because Regina always lied.
"It's true." Belle said. "I am Harry's mother."
Emma sighed. "Are you going to tell me who his father is?"
"Is it any of your business, Ms. Swan?" Gold snapped. "I didn't think that fell in police protocol. More like harassment. Yes, something else to add to my pending lawsuit."
"You're not suing me or the police department, Gold."
Gold raised an eyebrow. "Really, dearie, you're annoying me. And when I'm annoyed, I sue."
"She's just being a Charming." Regina countered. "She can't help herself."
"Why haven't we've seen him before?" Emma asked.
Yeah, that was a good question. Try to see them answer that.
"Because of me," Regina answered. "I locked Belle up in a dungeon, remember? Had to make sure the kid had a miserable time too by playing Checkers with him everyday."
"That's…."
"Horrible, I know." Regina said. "There's no need to focus on the past. Besides, Harry looks at me almost like I'm a sister. I let him win."
Emma just shook her head. "But it doesn't make sense why you're all…"
"I owed the kid a favor last night, when I saved him from my mother." Regina said, "I'm not completely heartless."
Emma gave Regina a skeptical look.
"What?" Regina asked.
Emma wasn't even going to answer that one. Rather, she decided she would be tactful and ask again if she could see the boy. A reasonable person would let her. Of course, Gold would go on that illegal search crap again and then she'd probably have to leave.
Oddly enough, his Regina degree in law actually seemed to be worth something unlike Whale's Regina medical degree.
However, when she asked if she could see Just Harry—because she was still calling him that—it wasn't Gold who told her to go away, but Belle.
She was really underestimating that librarian. Maybe if she read more she'd realize what devious creatures book lovers could be.
"Who's Harry's father?" She couldn't help but ask after she was denied access to the boy.
"As I believe it's been stated, Sherriff Swan, it's none of your business." Gold said before he waved Regina in.
Emma glared at Regina as she hobbled towards the door, "I still have to ask what happened to you?"
Regina rolled her eyes. "I was mugged by my mother. She tried to kill Belle's kid too. End of story. And now, Gold is thanking me. A rare occasion. I'll pick Henry up for dinner tonight, Swan."
"But…"
"I'm still his mother." Regina said before walking into the Gold's household and closing the door.
Emma rolled her eyes at that. Though, she knew Regina was right. Henry didn't call her mom. And Emma never really expected him to. Regina had raised him the first ten years of his life and did a relatively decent job at it too. Save for the whole Evil Queen bit. However, she didn't exactly want Henry around the woman. And really had reservations about letting her see her son tonight—even though Emma knew that technically she had no right in the matter.
Sighing, the blonde decided that if she was going to talk to Just Harry—or Harry—it was going to have to be through his father. There was no way that Belle was going to let her talk to him and without a parent or guardian present—or a parent or guardian who had an attorney/evil sorcerer as a whatever they were—she wasn't going to have much luck.
Which was why she visited Moe French.
Because she figured he would know who his grandson was. Plus, she sort of wanted to buy herself some flowers because why not.
That and she could totally kill two birds with one stone by pretending they were from a fake boyfriend so Hook would stop knocking on her door and Mary Margret would stop complaining how she wish Emma would bring home a nice guy.
How could you find a nice normal guy in fairytale a go go land?
Mary Margret didn't seem to find this to be a legitimate excuse, "Oh, Emma, I'm sure there's someone. What about that nice Woodsman that's always at Granny's."
"I don't like the way he looks at Ruby." Emma said. She knew the stories, Woodsmen had a homicidal streak when it came to wolves, and she liked Ruby. Fur problem and all.
Mary Margret sighed. "Well, what about Happy?"
"A dwarf. Seriously? They stare at my breasts all the time, Mary Margret."
"I wish you'd call me mom."
Emma shook her head.
"Really, Emma," Mary Margret said. "I just want you to be happy."
Which apparently meant dating a dwarf.
This was why she was so intending on buying the biggest bouquet of flowers after she talked to the florist, just to avoid the dating dwarves conversation again.
Moe French's shop was a little shabby. It was obvious that he had been cutting back in order to make his rent, which Emma had heard been raised tremendously—apparently, Gold had some crafty clauses in his contacts.
Emma frowned as she looked at the flowers. Yeah, Mary Margret wasn't going to be impressed. She as probably going to get told to give a dwarf a chance again.
"Can I help you?"
Emma turned to see Moe French behind her.
He looked nothing like his daughter. Smelt nothing like her too.
You'd have thought that being a florist, he'd know the importance of deodorant.
Emma decided to play casual passerby. Better than being here on official business, especially since Gold was threatening to sue her ass every two seconds.
"Yes," She said. "I'm thinking of getting flowers, for a friend."
Oh, yeah, she was being crafty.
"A friend?" Moe asked. "No one special?"
Why was everyone on her about her love life?
Emma decided though to approach the situation tactfully. "Her son was injured. It's a get well gift."
Moe French frowned. "I hope everything's going to be okay?"
"He should be fine," Emma said.
"What's his name?" Moe said trying to be the conversationalist.
Emma didn't get it? Why Belle seemed so negative about Moe French, he seemed like a nice guy. "It's Harry, you know, your grandson?"
"Grandson?" Moe French asked bewildered. "I don't…no, Belle didn't."
"You didn't know?" Emma said noticing the man's upset body language and her super power wasn't a tingling either.
"Of course, I didn't know." Moe French spitted out. "Not surprised, that girl hasn't called me once since the curse broke. That bastard she's with…the little brat is probably tainted."
"He's not tainted." Emma said before adding, "And he's not Gold's."
She probably shouldn't have said that last part. Moe French didn't deserve to know about his grandson, regardless. Emma could see now that Belle was right in her decision to keep her father in the dark, but at the same time…well, it was sort of fun to tell French what an idiot he was.
Yeah, Emma had a bit of a dark side.
Though she would not be pulling out any hearts anytime soon.
Moe looked at her and then smiled. "So, she did have Gaston's child then?"
"Gaston." Emma said. "That creepy guy in the Disney movie, he's real too?"
Moe didn't answer her. "Gaston was the most noble man I know. He and Belle were betrothed until that thing took her. Hearing that I have an heir a real heir, that is the best news princess I've had in a long time."
"Um, pretty sure that's the wrong pronoun. Gold's a he. "
"You didn't see that thing in the forest, princess."
Emma rolled her eyes. "Whatever. The point is I'm here to buy flowers for your grandson. He got mugged. So, you never met Harry?"
"No," Moe said. "He's okay, isn't he? Not corrupted."
Emma rolled her eyes. "I think a dozen roses would work nicely, but the white ones, not the red. Those look sort of ratty, sorry."
Moe ignored her and reiterated. "This is the best news I heard all day. There's hope after all."
"Yeah," Emma grumbled. "There's always hope, that's the Charming motto. I'll take the roses."
"You want them painted red?"
She knew that technology had surprisingly updated with the curse—which was a blessing because she was tired of living in 1984—but it was annoying how everyone would now randomly quote her childhood.
"No." Emma said, "I'm not the Queen of Hearts."
"No, you're not." Moe said with a small smile.
Another eye-roll worthy moment.
She did get the flowers though, and was eventually able to go on her merry little way only to run into that stupid pirate again.
She didn't care. She didn't care that the leather wrapped around his butt in an oh-so-delicious way. That his eyes were blue like a body of water. That he was charming and had a sense of adventure, and smelt like old timey soap and Emma just wanted to wrap her arms around him.
Damn it. She sounded like a stupid schoolgirl; she would show him…she was going to ignore him.
"Swan!"
Too late.
She groaned. If Killian hadn't been from there—was she calling him Killian, seriously—well, anyway if Hook hadn't been from Fairytale Fantasy Throw Up Land then maybe she might've given him a chance. Though, the having a so-called ex that was a psychopath and a cougar sort of turned him off (lots).
That and the fact he tried to kill her before or at least tried to cause her majorly bodily harm by working for Cora.
She shouldn't be so attracted to the way that leather clanged to his butt. He was a villain.
A very sexy villain, with blue eyes the color of the sea and she and Henry had both noticed that. So maybe, it wasn't attraction more or less noticing that Hook was pretty to look at.
Then why was she uncomfortable?
If he was just pretty, she should be able to sprout out some snappy little one liner and give him a couple of dagger looks and off he should go. But it never worked like that, Killian (no, Hook) liked to linger.
It was as he found all her remarks amusing.
They were amusing, admittedly. But they were only supposed to be amusing to her.
Like today, after seeing that stupid grin she told him, "Seriously, this is not a Crest commercial."
And what proceeded to occur, a thirty-minute conversation about toothpaste (half of it was Emma telling him to go away). But she had to admit he was cute when he asked her how he was supposed to floss with that hook of his.
Not so cute when he made a suggestion that she could help him floss.
Like she'd get a kick out of that.
Oral hygiene did not put her in the mood.
Not like tight leather pants.
"Swan," Hook said when she had looked at his butt for the umpteenth time. "Can we just stop with this already?"
Emma raised an eyebrow, "Stop what?".
"This game." Hook clarified. "You flirt with me, tell me to go away, stare at my arse, and then I ask again, you throw an insult my way, I give up, then you stare at my arse…"
"I do not stare at your ass." Emma said.
"Arse."
"Ass."
Hook rolled those pretty boy blues of his. "I said arse."
"Whatever." Emma said. "I'm not starring at your butt. I got to go, um, check my email."
Hook rolled his eyes, "What do I have to do to get you to go out with me?"
"Dump Cora."
"Already been done."
"I don't believe you."
She really didn't. She knew Cora enough that if Hook really dumped her, she wouldn't be seeing those pretty blue eyes of his again.
He rolled his eyes, "Swan, seriously."
"Fine," She said. " Prove yourself to me."
"Prove myself? What's that suppose to mean."
Emma didn't even know. "I have to go."
"You don't." He said.
"I do." She said. "This is just weird."
"It's hardly weird, unless you're eyes are starring at my arse."
"It's ass. Now, goodbye Hook."
He rolled his eyes, "So repetitive."
It was. But there was no way she was getting into bed with him yet. She had been seduced by a man with pretty boy veneer before and look where that had gotten her.
Pregnant at eighteen.
And there was no way in hell she was having a pirate's baby. Not when she already had the child of a marauder.