Chapter 9: A Pirate's Life
Killian Jones inwardly rolled his eyes as Cora rambled. The woman might've been hot, but her could deal without the long speeches. Or the rants. Or the borderline psychotic plans.
He really wished that he wasn't naked right now, so that he could get a sip from his flask.
But then again, if he wasn't naked and if he didn't have Cora in between his arms right now, he'd probably want to strangle her neck.
"Did you hear anything I said, Hook?"
It was never Killian. Always Hook. Not that he suspected much more. Their relationship was purely physical and convenient. Much like their partnership. Killian really could never see himself with anyone after Milah, but he still enjoyed the occasional tryst.
And Cora was more than willing to provide that.
Killian sighed. "Sorry, love, caught up in the moment."
Cora rolled her dark eyes. "Sure, you were. You just were daydreaming. Probably about Snow White's daughter."
Ah, yes, Emma Swan. She was quite fetching. Not that anything could develop between the two of them. She after all was a princess…a princess in blue jeans.
Cora should get some of those, Killian thought. Then again, she didn't have legs like Emma Swan.
Almost as if reading her mind Cora rolled her eyes. "Seriously, Hook, can you think with your head for once?"
"You mentioned Emma Swan." Hook said.
"You know, normally I'd be insulted that a man was thinking of another woman in my bed."
"Well, you brought her up. I can't help thinking about her when you brought her up."
"But such strong feelings, Hook?" Cora asked.
Killian rolled his eyes. He did not have feelings for Emma Swan. That was for sure.
Okay, maybe he did like the way she looked in those pants of hers. Maybe he did like her feisty disposition. But that did not mean he had feelings for her. Besides, he had a crocodile to destroy.
"So, you disagree then?"
"Obviously," He said. "Now, what is it you want me to do?"
"Things aren't going how I planned." Cora said.
You think? Cora had been insistent that Regina would be more than willing to come to her side after a few manipulations. So far, those manipulations hadn't been paying off liked she hoped. In fact, in the past week it seemed that Regina had all but cut off contact with her mother.
But Killian didn't say this to Cora. You never aggravated Cora's temper. That was something that Killian had learned soon in his relationship with her. Instead he said, "I'm sure we can come up with something to speed things along."
"Oh, I'm sure." Cora said stroking Killian's cheek. "And I have just the idea."
"Do you?"
"Yes," She said. "Emma Swan."
"You think she's going to get you close to your daughter? Sorry, to tell you this but I don't think SwanQueen is happening."
Cora gave him a weird look. "SwanQueen?"
"People in this realm give couple names. You'd know this if you read a magazine?"
"My daughter is not interested in Emma Swan, not in that way."
"You sure all that animosity isn't sexual tension."
Cora glared at him. "Please. Emma's trying to steal her child."
He didn't think it was exactly like trying to steal a child, but again you don't correct Cora. Sighing Killian said, "So, what's your big plan involving the fair Emma."
Cora smiled. "You're going to like this."
Killian raised an eyebrow.
"I want you to get into her pants." Cora said bluntly.
Killian was a little shocked with the expression Cora chose to use. Mainly, because he was still thinking about Emma Swan in blue jeans.
"Sweet talk her. Sleep with her." Cora translated. "I want you to be the new man in Ms. Swan's life. My daughter definitely won't like that."
"Why? Repressed feelings? Are you sure you're not rooting for SwanQueen?"
Okay, now that might've been pushing it a little.
Cora glared at him. "No. My daughter won't like the fact that a known villain is spending time with her boy. I think you're more than capable of flirting a little bit."
He was. Especially if it involved Emma Swan.
He saw Emma Swan the next morning. She was at Granny' with a frown on her face and was absent mindedly stirring her coca and sprinkling cinnamon of all things on it.
Odd choice.
Cinnamon that is.
He wondered what was bothering the lass. The red jacket suited her. He liked that she wasn't dressed in the long wispy gowns that were common in their land. She looked—and he knew—she loved adventure and that's what he liked about her.
He was about to call her name when she turned around. His eyes locked with hers. The sad thing about this whole plan of Cora's, was that there was a part of him that actually was glad she was giving him the excuse to seduce Emma Swan.
He really shouldn't be glad.
She was a princess.
And a self righteous one at that.
But she had great legs.
That made the difference.
"Hook," Emma said. "So, it is true?"
"That I'm in town. Yes." He said. "It's good to see you, Swan."
"I wish I could say the same." She said looking at him. "I guess I should arrest you or something."
Arrest him?
Oh, that was right. She was sheriff. Cora had mentioned it to him. He decided to act clueless. "Sherriff? Shouldn't you be lording over your castle or something?"
"Please." Emma rolled her eyes before she asked, "What do you want?"
"Forgiveness? A second chance?"
Emma raised an eyebrow. "That's not it."
"It's not?"
"No." She said. "You're up to something."
"Yes," He said. "Up to something. I wish to take you to the tavern?"
"They're called bars here."
"What?" He asked.
"The taverns are bars in Storybrooke. Specifically, the lone bar we have is called the Rabbit Hole. And since I've had to arrest more than a few drunks there, I can assure you it's not the spot to woo me."
"So, you then would agree to a date?"
"I'm not that easy." Emma said as she stood up.
"He grabbed her arm.
She glared at him.
He removed his hand.
She rolled her eyes. "In this realm, Hook, there's a thing called personal space."
"Sorry," He said.
She shook her head as she looked at him. "Why are you asking me on a date?"
"What?" He asked.
"You're with Cora, right? Surely, she doesn't want her boyfriend two timing on you. I'd bet she'd crush up your heart."
She probably would if it wasn't sanctioned and if Cora had his heart. Somehow or another, she decided that she trusted him enough that he didn't have to become part of her collection.
Killian was grateful for that.
"Cora and I aren't together." He said.
"Really?" Emma asked. "Could've fooled me."
"There's a lot you don't know about me, Swan."
That line didn't work so well if the snort he heard coming from the blonde was any indicator. "Don't tell me you are deeply misunderstood and underneath all that eyeliner is the heart of a good man."
"So cynical." Killian said looking at her. "I just want to make amends."
"And I want to bathe in bleach right now, but can't. Whatever angle your pushing, Killian, you're going to have to push harder."
"You're worth the challenge, Swan."
"I'm seeing someone." She challenged.
"Who? One of the dwarves that followed your mother around."
Emma glared at him. "I'm leaving."
"I want you to give me a chance, Swan."
"No." She said.
"Swan…"
" I could arrest you for harassment."
"Just for asking you out?"
"Goodbye, Hook. Do something constructive, like watch your son."
"I don't have a son." He said. Seriously, as far as he knew there were no little Killians walking around.
She rolled her eyes. "Just Harry. You know your secret son with Cora. The kid that just mysteriously appeared yesterday and I couldn't find a single record of at that library. Yeah, Hook, you got me to go to the library. And I haven't been to the library since I was six."
"So, you don't like to read. Good to know."
Emma frowned. "He's a nice kid, Hook. Seriously, parent him. He was walking all the way to Granny's yesterday with that leg of his. That's not right."
"I really have no idea who you're talking about, Swan."
She rolled her eyes. And turned to leave the diner.
This was not what Hook wanted at all.
Besides being deeply rejected by the lovely Sherriff of Storybrooke, Killian also discovered that he had a need for breakfast at Granny's.
The waitress with the short shorts rolled her eyes at him. "Seriously?"
"What?" He asked between bites of a dish called pancakes.
"You're acting like you've never had flap jacks before in your life."
"I haven't." Killian said. "They are utterly delicious."
The waitress shook her head as she looked at him. "You like Emma, don't you?"
Killian raised an eyebrow.
"You were asking her out on a date and getting constantly rejected. Someone can't help but notice that."
Killian glared at her.
"Don't be too upset your rejection got you free pancakes. But really, you're with Regina's mom?"
"It was in the past." Killian said.
"You had a kid with her though?" The waitress asked.
"I never had a kid with Cora." Killian said. "That would just be…"
"I saw him." The waitress said. "He looks a lot like Regina. Who's Cora's daughter. Don't deny it."
Killian rolled his eyes. "Cora and I don't have kids. We only met a year ago. Well, twenty some odd years ago if we were counting curse years and we were frozen for most of it."
The waitress shook her head. "I saw the kid."
"Could've been anyone's."
"Never saw him before."
"It's not like you know everyone in town."
"It's a small place."
Killian just shook his head as ate his flapjacks as the waitress muttered about how assholes didn't acknowledge their own children.
Asshole.
That was a new one.
But he really didn't have any children. Or any that he knew of. He had wanted to give Milah a babe. She did miss her son, Bae, even though she never really said much. They had often talked about taking him from that crocodile, but something always got in the way.
Killian felt his blood boil at the thought of the crocodile. He thought the man would've left the town. Cora said something about motivating him, but there had been little movement on the crocodile's part as of yet. Killian wanted his revenge.
Cora told him that Rumple, as she affectionately called him, was probably making the necessary potion to cross the town line. To just give it time.
Yeah…time. Here he was whoring himself out for her and getting dissed by a princess who wore pants.
Sexy pants.
But pants.
And she was sheriff.
When did princesses become law officers?
He needed some more pancakes.
As he was thinking this, the door of the diner opened and he heard the clicking of heels and a laugh that he knew so well.
Killian looked up, turned out his imagination wasn't failing him. He knew that laugh. It was the crocodile and his new woman.