I sucked my indigo lip into my mouth. I couldn't take it anymore. The animal had faded from my lungs, the energy from my veins. The adrenaline was gone. All that remained was the consequence.
Shock – Blood dripped down my cold hands as my eyes slid over the carnage. The silence was empty. Hollow. It left no gory details out. Plain and blunt and bitter. He was gone.
He was dead.
Impulsively, I had acted; I never stopped to think. Fuelled by gasoline set alight by the fire of my fury, I attacked. I should feel guilt, shouldn't I? Wouldn't that be the human response to something like this? Sadness? Remorse maybe? I don't know, anything? Anything but this. This was mayhem. This was havoc. This was chaos.
I felt nothing.
I had become an A-list psychopath, detached from the dust that was once a person before me, drifting in a soft breeze. I felt an odd wave of peace crash over me. Content. I was like an animal savouring its kill. Serenity at its finest. The horror that had haunted me was gone. Freedom. I tasted it on the tip of my tongue.
However, with it came an emptiness, a vast emptiness that wasn't very empty at all; I was filling it. Before all of this, it had been filled with anger. Bloodlust. Hate. They forced it down my throat every single day as I was moulded into a nightmare. Even with that knowledge, I couldn't find it within myself to let it go. The evil, it was a part of me now. I embraced it with open arms. Control, on the other hand, that was mine.
I would control me. The amount I killed. The amount I craved. The amount I desired the thrill of the hunt. I would decide for myself now. The emptiness, it will be filled, this time, with things of my choosing. No longer would my humanity be a frozen setting. It would be a switch. A switch that belonged to me.
Emotion. It would be mine to do with as I pleased. Ezra and Genevieve. Andreas. They were people who wouldn't be affected by my Midas touch of death simply because I said so. Clarity, pure and clean, was a sunlight I bathed in, basking in its delight. I controlled the insatiable nightmare inside me, an abyss that craved blood like the Grim Reaper does souls. It was mine to do with as I pleased.
I would be a tyrant if I wanted.
A beast if I wanted.
A monster if I wanted.
A killer if I wanted.
And the best part is
I do.