The food Nanuq had filled my cupboards with was enough to keep me fed like a king for the whole week and I most certainly was not complaining but part of me felt a little guilty and confused for using his kindness especially as I thought more about him and about the bruises all over his face while I looked at the picture I had taken of him in the summertime.
I have to admit that he fascinated me from the beginning but I'm not entirely sure as to why?
He was something I had never seen before so perhaps that's all there was to it?...perhaps at first since when I looked into his eyes that night I felt more than just the curiosity that I had felt as a boy looking at drawings of other aboriginals in my father's safari books or as my father called them "mud-people" instead I saw something so beautiful and yet so sad.
A great painter I knew once told me that the reason why so many of the classic paintings that were considered beautiful we're sad is that sadness is the most beautiful human emotion, I didn't believe him at the time but now those words rang in my head like the church bells outside.
I found myself wondering for his well being as well as if he was really in prison and if so what for?
Prison infighting would explain the bruises to his face but thinking about it now I just couldn't bring myself to visualize the same man who took care of me and my home so graciously and was described as a good man by a fellow whom I trusted being involved in such a thing.
Logically I'm certain it's feasible and I suppose that even felons possess a conscience and an intention of repentance yet there still lingers the image of a rough lawless rogue with nothing but contempt for the laws of the public smiling with a wicked grin flashing nasty teeth and a jagged scar across his face or something like that.
Something like the criminals I remembered seeing in cartoons as a child, villains who were conscious of the fact that they were doing evil and proud of that validity and as much as I logically knew these images to be highly erroneous of how reality truly subsisted they still remained part of me and when I remembered of the eyes of the man I saw that night I could not envision him in that sort of way.
It didn't seem to make any rational sense somehow yet unless he was not being truthful about his circumstances for whatever purpose, it would prove to be the truth, wouldn't it?
I definitely suppose that I could have asked him that night but I didn't, in fact, I hardly spoke to him at all and now that I think of it I've never really spoken to the man, said a few casual things perhaps but never had a conversation especially not one that could be considered at all view-changing but still, here I was lying on my bed gazing at the photograph I had taken nearly a year ago like some sort of demented pervert.
Then I sat there in thought as I contemplated the last word of my inner monologue still staring and still allured until I felt a chill up my spine.
The fire in my woodstove had gone out and the firewood that was gifted to me was finally all gone and I could already see the frost glazing over the inside of the window frames.
It wasn't possible for me to purchase any firewood which meant that I would have to go outside to cut my own timber which I had been avoiding for quite some time since I had never even held an ax and had no idea how to wield such a terrifying and primitive tool but I have to start someplace.
I reluctantly got up and put on the fluffy boots gifted to me by Nanuq for the first time since my old leather boots were rotted and smelled like piss and mold, at first I struggled about how to properly put them on and secure them but once I had tied them I think I fell in love with the warm fluffy things.
They were so warm that all the rest of my body had felt out of place so I quickly picked up the big coat thing and threw off all my shirts and pulled the coat over my head.
When I first got the things as much as I was thankful I was also skeptical over the strange apparel since they were strangely primitive and ornamentally adorned with beads and naturesque designs which were considered quite feminine in America but now I felt as if I were wrapped in paradise.
I fell back into bed and just enjoyed my warmth until I felt myself falling asleep and remembered that I was hungry so I got up and made my way out the door and around the side of the townhouse to get the ax and then began to walk through the tall snowy grasses to the woods near the edge of town.
I fell over a log covered in snow and woodsy plants almost sending my leg crashing into the ax but I moved my knee in time so that I only felt the sharp tool scrap my calf.
I got up and said enough cuss words to send me straight to hell as I inspected my cut.
"Ah! Shit!"
It wasn't that deep of a gash but it hurt quite a lot from the tumble along with my head and the arm I used to brace myself but as I held my leg my attention was drawn away by the sounds of cackling laughter causing me to jump and turn to the road where I saw a man who was obviously drunk out of his mind laughing at me while he drank from his whiskey bottle.
At first, I was inclined to simply ignore the idiot but then he began to taunt me.
"HAHA! This is the funniest shit I've seen in years! Big tall white boy can't even walk in the fucking snow or lift a damn ax! Bet'cha can't wipe your own ass either gotta have somebody ya think is lower than you do that for ya!"
"Look here I'm not looking for any more trouble today so why don't you go stumble around the fool somewhere else!"
He took a big drink and stumbled over and I could see that he looked like he was of the same people as Nanuq but his hair was curly and his eyes were a dark green.
"Let me guess white man! Never chopped wood before eh!"
"Kindly leave me alone!"
"Haha! Wait let me guess your one of those rich white men from the so-called civilized world aren't but now you're down on your luck and have to live like us, peasants! What was it, white man? What brought your Highness down so low! Was it the gold? Oil? Land? Exploration? Research for your fancy books back home to show the world your power! Hmm!" He yelled in a drunken slur.
"Now listen here I've had enough!"
"Oh really! Does that make you mad white man? Getting told by a lower man! Or do you even think men like me are men at all?"
"You're a delusional dog!"
"A dog eh! Even man's best friend is dirt to ya! Such a shame!"
"Fuck off!"
"That flat ass of yours I'd rather lick horseshit off the streets!" He spat with a laugh.
I felt my fists start to clench and shake.
"Yeah, that's right white man show this piece of garbage a lesson! Beat the fuck outa me!"
"Shut the fuck up and go shove a tree stump up your-" I was interrupted by a familiar voice calling out to the both of us.
"Billy Noel! Barnabas! Break it up both of you!" Came the calm voice of none other than Nanuq through the chilly wind as he got off of his extremely full sled pulled by nine barking dogs.
He steps over to the cradle of the sled that was filled with large tarp bags and pulls out a loaf of some kind of bread and a piece of meat then makes his way over to the now silent drunk.
"...Billy?" He asks softly as he reaches out to him with his free hand.
Billy only looks at him in a way that seems guilty and miserable for a moment then quickly hands the bottle over into Nanuq's waiting hand then with that little smile of his Nanuq gives Billy the food which I can only assume to be barley bread and dried game.
Nanuq purs the whiskey out onto the ground and places the bottle in his sled while Billy sits on a log and happily eats the bread and meat like a hungry goat.
"There now that's better for everyone isn't it!" Says Nanuq with a chirp of glee while he held his hands behind his back and made a few big steps like a happy child.
"Is he a friend of yours?" I asked in surprise.
"Everyone is a friend of mine even my enemy Barnabas!" He says as if it was a common response.
"What?" I say but I'm torn away from Nanuq by Billy Noel who had picked up his guitar and with a much softer voice that damn well nearly sounds like a different person he says.
"Look, white boy your kind to Nanuq so you can't be too bad so...um take this tune as an apology for giving you a fright!"
I feel quite awkward but I must admit that I'm surprised by the beautiful melodies that seem to flow off of the string while he mumbles along about summertime affection.
As the song plays I can't help but look into Nanuq's eyes until his eyes meet my own and I smile out of the lack of anything else to do but he smiles back at me with a big smile and unexpectedly wraps his arm around mine and leans a little into me as he turns his focus back on Billy until the song ended and I was overwhelmed by the beating of my heart pounding in my ribcage.
Then Nanuq rather swiftly pulls away leaving me feeling strange as I watch him squat down by Billy and thank him with a few soft words I cannot hear and a strange show of affection in the form of touching each other's noses together before he stands up again and walks back to his waiting sled where he struggles to lift one of the heavy bags onto his hip while pushing the sled along.
"Um thank you, Noel!"
He nods back and I give him a wave while I jog back to Nanuq.
"Oh here let me help you!"
"Thank you for your consideration Barnabas but I am headed to town to do healing work"
"Oh! Well, I would still like to accompany and assist you?"
We stop for a moment as the heavy bag slips but he catches it and I take it with a smile happy to help with his work whatever that encompassed.
"Alright, but I must adequately warn you that my work is not easy for if it were then it would not need to be done!"
I can't begin to understand what the hell he means but I give my most eager smile and agree.
"All good then! Besides, it would do my conscience good to repay you!"
"All debts are to be repaired but all gifts are given free!"
"I suppose that's true then well how about a gift for a gift perhaps?"
Nanuq laughed a musical laugh until his face gleamed then he finally agreed with that soft smile of his and we were off into town together.