Chapter 12: Recollections
Syrena woke up feeling different.
She also woke up with one massive headache. Or maybe she should say body-ache, since every single part of her hurt. It took her a moment or two to remember what happened—meeting Killian, helping him saving his daughter, moving that ship with her powers.
Of course, she had the tides and the moon helping her but it was the first time she had been able to travel anyone—let alone an entire ship to an entire realm.
No wonder she felt depleted, Syrena thought as she snapped her eyes open to find herself looking face to face with Killian.
Things were a bit woozy, but she saw those blue eyes of his staring at her. She inwardly felt herself blushing—stupid mer genes—her kind could never resist a pretty face. Though, she was starting to believe it was more than a pretty face with Killian. For one thing, she just felt so bad for him. She sighed heavily as she thought about what he told her about the Dark One taking his hand.
What a monster.
She remembered hearing about the Dark One the first time she had joined the coven.
"We don't speak of its name," Kahln—one of the witches said. "It's a thing of evil, especially the latest one."
"Latest one,"
"The beast takes on many forms." The witch said, "People say we're monsters but…"
"You're not a monster," Syrena said even though she knew that a full-developed sea witch did in fact look very much like a monster. It was hard imagining that Kahln had actually been a mermaid at one point.
It was one of the reasons why so many mers suppressed the gift. Did everything in their power to kill it. However, repressing magic often ended up causing more damage than it was worth.
Besides, there was so much good you could do with magic that looking like a monster, it didn't matter to Syrena.
She still remembered the first time she met Kahln. It took some getting used too, the witch's appearance, but the witch was Syrena's dearest and nearest mentor.
Though, not even she knew why Syrena hadn't fully developed into her powers as of yet. In fact, she had begun to shun Syrena for it.
"The potion should've given you a boost," She hissed. "Maybe your powers aren't exactly…well, maybe your not one of us."
The potion was a magic enhancement potion that would speed up the change, or at least allow her to get in tune with her powers better. After her failure, at the last meeting decision the coven had agreed that the sooner Syrena would change the better.
Because as accommodating as the coven was, Syrena knew she was starting to get on their nerves. While she could gather potion supplies, gather trinkets in other realms for surface dwellers, she wasn't really contributing magically or to the coven's numbers. Which why the need for the change was more eminent than it should be.
Yet, even with the magical boost potion she felt no different. While she could do some spells, she wasn't near at the level of Kahln or any of the other witches and she was still definitively a mermaid.
There was something odd about Killian's face, but when he found she was awake, his face went back to impassive.
"What's wrong?" She asked, "Did it not work?"
Her voice, it—it sounded different. It wasn't a sickening sweet as it used to be. In fact, it sounded raspy not like herself.
"Is that really you, Syrena?" He asked.
"What?" She said, her voice. It sounded so wrong. "I—why do I sound so funny, Killian? What happened, I remember we were going to try to open the portal. Are we there? And what do you mean, is it really me?"
He sighed heavily, "You…you…changed, Syrena."
She looked down for the first time and that's when she noticed it. She had changed.
She was no longer a mermaid. She didn't even recognize herself, she thought as she took a look at her new form. Her red fin was gone replaced by eight massive dark tentacles flicked with ruby red, her body had also had changed to support them. She no longer had the soft feminine form of a mermaid. Sea witches were hardy creatures, they had to be to be able to harness the ocean. She felt her stomach rumble at the thought of it, she was hungry, she had always wondered how her teachers had such large appetites. How they could swallow fish whole with little effort, and now she knew why she had never felt this hungry before—hell, she felt like she could eat a whale and she probably could. She knew some of her teachers had talked about eating dolphins before, that fish were a mere light fare when they were "watching" their waistlines. She used to think that was a joke, but now as she felt her belly rumble she knew they weren't. A dozen fish wouldn't be enough to satisfy her appetite. As she touched her rumbling belly, she noticed that like the rest of her it had expanded and rather than being the color of human flesh it was the same color as her tentacles. Hell, she couldn't tell when he stomach ended and her tentacles began.
She looked at her hands, that were connected to arms that were now powerfully built. The once tan color that they had been was now a light purple, again covered with scales. She felt strands of hair falling from her face, and saw that they were no longer the soft blonde color that they used to be, but the harsh white that her instructors wore that she had thought was dyed. Apparently not, she didn't even have to see her face to know it likely looked different too. She thought of the blood red lips that the instructors had, their dark eyes, their yellow teeth. She had a feeling her features resembled them now.
"You…you look completely different." He said, "You're transformed."
"I guess." She said still not used to her voice. It made her sound like Kahln. Save for the red flicks in her tentacles, she had a feeling she could almost be a dead ringer for her old mentor. And the rest of the witches in her coven. "When I opened the portal it must've caused something to snap."
And God knows, she felt so much pain.
She remembered that now. The screaming in agony as she forced herself to pull that ship. How she barely thought she was going to survive before she blacked out, somehow her magic had saved her.
And she had gotten what she wanted.
She was no longer a mermaid.
She had been waiting for that day for so many years, but she didn't feel that different. She had thought somehow it would make all these feelings she thought throughout the years, the isolation and everything somewhat less dampening but she still felt the same.
"So, you're a real sea witch now?" Killian asked.
She sighed and said in an almost resigned like tone. "Yeah, I guess I am."
And then the pirate did something that she wasn't exactly expecting, He smiled at her and said, "We'll this will be easier than I thought."
"What?" She said a little confused, "You'll be able to help me easier than I thought."
"I told you, Killian, I was going to help you already." She said, "A parent should never be separated from its child."
And as she said this she got a flash of something: a boy.
A human boy, but still somehow his face seemed familiar to her. His eyes, he had beautiful eyes. She had seen them on someone else before, she thought.
No, she was being silly. She never knew any humans. Especially human children.
She shook her head at the thought as she turned back towards Killian. "You can stop looking at me like that, Killian."
"Like what?"
Like she was a monster.
She knew how she looked; she had seen Kahln and the rest of the seawitches. She could even see it herself with the way her tentacles oozed out around her, almost as if they had a life of their own.. Good thing she was no longer in that tub, they would've spilt out of it and then some. She wondered where she was, she was clearly in Killian's ship yet somehow wherever she was large enough to hold her new form.
"How long?" She asked when it was clear Killian was not going to comment about her appearance.
He shrugged. "Maybe fifteen minutes. You stopped breathing lass, and then—well, then the change started. Thank God, I put you in the bilge. You would've broken the tub"
She felt herself turning red. Or as red as a purple faced sea witch could turn red. She didn't remember her instructors blushing. Then again, she didn't notice those sorts of things because she was enthralled with magic.
"Bilge?" She asked.
That voice, it was going to take getting used too.
"Yes," He said, "It will be the ideal place for you. It can hold more water and since you're well bigger now…"
She shook her place. "How is this ideal, it's not the sea. It's so—"
He sighed heavily, "Remember, my daughter."
She did feel for him, but at the same time she felt a desire to be in the sea. She knew it was the sea that fed her magic, she needed it and she told him that.
"It's only temporary," He said, "Until it's determined that being in the lake is good to go."
"Lake?" She asked.
"Yes," He said, "The portal took us to Lake Nostros. Now, if you wouldn't mind procuring me with some squid ink."
"Lake Nostros?" She said that name seemed familiar.
"Squid ink, Syrena."
She reluctantly complied. She didn't know why, but at the very least she could give him some ink. God knows, releasing it now that she had a full set on tentacles was easy.
Lake Nosotros.
She woke up knowing where she was and she felt dread at the bottom of her belly—or it might have been hunger, God she was so hungry— as the memories came back.
"It's a prison for our kind," Kahln said as she talked to Syrena.
That was when Kahln still thought Syrena had a chance, when she didn't realize that Syrena was going to be a failure.
Well, she wasn't a failure now, Syrena thought as she looked at one of her new tentacles as she reflected upon the memory.
"The lake is the center of portals." Kahln said. "You can get to any world from there."
"Any world?" Syrena asked surprised. Most portals only connected to certain worlds—worlds that shared magical energy so to speak. Neverland, for example, lead to the Enchanted Forest and Wonderland as well as a host of other worlds. Some world's though, such as the mundane world had very few access points.
"Yes," Kahln said as she looked at Syrena. "Any world, it's not exactly accessible though. The guardian protects it."
"Guardian?"
"Lady of the Lake," Kahlan clarified. "She's the only one who can open the portals. Only thing is she's cursed to stay there to guard the place."
"Cursed?"
The sea witch nodded, "Yes, well, the lake needs a guardian. Having all those portals—it's dangerous as you can only imagine. However, in order to guard the portals."
"A price has to be paid."
First rule in magic, there was always a price.
To have access to all those portals the price was steep, not only was the witch trapped within the lake but no other mer or witch was allowed into the lake.
"Unless, they wish to either die by the hand of the witch or become its new guardian." Kahln said.
She didn't remember battling the sea witch when she got here, no—Lady of the Lake—and yet she was still alive.
Was she forgetting something?
She frowned heavily as she heard something coming from the ship. After she woke up, she was starting to know how much clearer her senses were since the change. She could see better even in the darkness that was the bilge she could make out things. She could also feel the water more than she ever had as a mer. It felt so wrong being stagnant without the current that the sea had to offer.
And the smell, the land smells. She hated them more than she did before. But all that was forgotten as she heard the conversation.
"So, she's transformed then?"
"Appears to be, she's a bonafide monster. Such a shame because she was such a pretty thing."
"Well, at least I won't have to worry about you turning on Mother and me to shag her."
"Zara."
Zara? That was the name of Killian's daughter. She remembered that, she had asked him questions about his child. She never understood why she was always so interested in the girl, the thoughts of the human child emerged into her head again.
She shook these thoughts a way as she continued to listen the conversation, "I'm just pointing out facts. You looked like you were going to drool all over her earlier when you put her in the bilge."
"I'm glad I did, she's as big as a house now."
Syrena felt herself heating up, but she knew he was right. She was large and she was proud of her form. She was powerful, but there was a part of her a part of her that was a bit ashamed that Killian saw her this way.
"Her teeth are also all rotten, and she looks nothing like herself." He said, "I'll say it again, such a waste."
"Well, she should be able to access the gateway now," Zara said. "When Mother gets here, we can go to Regina's world."
"I still don't understand why she wants to go there," Killian said. "This world has plenty to offer."
"Yeah, after the ogres destroyed it." Zara snapped.
"Hey," Killian said, "Don't talk to me that way, I'm your dad."
Yep, that was it; Killian had been lying to her.
The girl laughed. "Whatever. Did she give you the squid ink?"
"Yes, she did." He said, " Conch shell necklace, remember? Did Cora happen to tell you why she needed it? I feel so out of the loop."
The girl laughed.
"Zara. What does Cora have herself involved in?"
"Nothing that she can't handle," The girl snapped. "Or nothing that you should get yourself involved into."
"Squid ink incapacitates magic." Killian said.
"Yes," Zara said. "It does."
"Is it to incapacitate Regina?"
"It's none of your concern."
"The bloody hell it is, I'm tired of being out of the loop."
"You haven't been left out of the loop, you helped me get to Neverland to get rid of that boy—Jaime."
And when she heard that name it hit her.
Jaime.
Jaime was the boy.
Jaime was her son.
She wasn't a mermaid or a sea witch, at least she didn't used to be. What had happened to her? She needed to get out of here, her son—her son was left in that horrible place. She needed to find him.
She had helped trap him there, she realized and she then couldn't breathe as she realized everything that had happened.
She had to fix this.
She had magic, perhaps she could just conjure her a pair of legs and jump into the water. She could fight the witch or at least reason with her to let her go back; after all, she was her sister.
And then Emma found herself wanting to hurl as she looked at her form that she had been so proud of only hours before.
What had she done?
She was a sea witch.
The baby?
All these years, the infertility—it was explained now, because of Harry's spell. She had to wonder if it still held, she didn't think so. She had transformed into a witch. And sea witches were barren. She truly lost her baby.
Or at the very least, she couldn't give birth to it anymore even if it was still there.
She…she…needed to get out of here.
First thing first, she needed to zap herself up a pair of legs and get into the water. That should be easy enough, provided Killian hadn't commanded her to stay on the boat.
She tried to recall if he had, she was pretty sure he hadn't. Save for the squid ink, and getting her to trust him he hadn't really pushed that many orders on her. He probably didn't want her to get too obvious thinking she'd find some way to twist or contort what he said against him.
She was, after all, a lawyer.
Well, not anymore. Sea witches probably couldn't be lawyers.
She sighed heavily, one thing at a time. She needed to rescue Jaime which meant getting out of here. She started whispering the incantation that would give her legs only she found that she couldn't do it.
Damn it.
As she was thinking this the door opened.
"Syrena?"
God, did she hate that stupid name. Just like she hated these stupid tentacles, she still couldn't remember exactly how she became a mermaid all that was blank. She just remembered Jaime being taken away and Harumple being gone as well.
God, Harumple.
She wanted him.
Not that he would even recognize her she thought.
"Syrena?" Killian asked again. "Are you okay? I thought I heard noises back here?"
He knew she was trying to give herself legs. She wasn't going to let him know that though, "I need the fresh water, Killian. I can't control my powers here."
"It's not safe, err…love."
God, was he shallow. She could tell it pained him to say that. To call her love. He had no problems calling her that though when she was a mermaid. The fact that she actually liked that crap—even to some degree—made her shudder.
"I need the water to recharge my powers," She said. "You need my help to save your daughter."
"You've already helped loads," He said, "We're in the right realm and you gave me squid ink."
Yes, squid ink.
Apparently, Zara—Hook's daughter with Cora—was going to use it on someone magical.
"What was the witch's ink for?" She asked.
"To save Zara of course." He said.
She sighed heavily, "I am a sea witch, Killian. I can help you."
"I know, Syrena." He said, "But you almost died."
"I didn't though," She said, "I transformed."
Yes, transformed into a monster. And might've sentenced her unborn child to a fate worse than death.
Not that things weren't looking good for the baby already. But still, there was a chance before—before she became this.
He sighed, "Get your strength back, then you can help. It will only be a few days."
"I'll get my strength back in the lake." She said, "My magic needs fresh water, Killian. Not bilge water."
"You're not leaving," He snapped.
She looked at him wide eyed it was the first time he hadn't been anything but cordial to her. It was like getting a look at the actual Killian—bastard—but Emma didn't act like she knew what he was. Instead, she played dumb. After all, Syrena the mermaid was enthralled with him. She even still had feelings for him as a sea witch.
Emma inwardly shuddered at the fact only hours before, she had been regretting her transformation—for different reasons than now, because she was wondering if Killian didn't love her.
Fool.
Now, she felt nothing for Killian. The man might've been pretty, but she had done better.
Harumple's faces popped into her mind. It was odd how she didn't have a preference to either face. It was the idiot's bloody soul that she loved.
He couldn't love her though, not like this.
"Did you hear me, witch, you're not leaving." Killian repeated.
"What?" She said shocked, "Killian—I thought."
"You're not to use your magic to get out of here," He said. "You're staying here until its time for you to open the portal."
He then left her there, and all hope seemed like it was gone because…well, she was sort of stuck in the bilge with no way out and it wasn't like new form really could move that great in a tank full of water. Especially since she couldn't use magic.
Killian appeared a couple of times over the next few days.
Mostly to feed her.
God, was she hungry.
Her appetite had increased tenfold with the change, she knew it would happen. All those fish hadn't gone to the mermaids in the coven. Most of the food went to the sea witches. She remembered how disgusting she used to find it when Kahlyn and the others would gulp down a fish bones and all in one setting. Fish after fish. Now Emma understand they were hungry. She had done the same, swallowed the fish that Killian had given her whole. And even then, she was always hungry. When she asked him for more, he he laughed and said she could do with losing a few.
He had completely changed. He had dropped all the misnomers too. There was no love or Syrena. It was just witch now.
She also knew he was aggravated because she occasionally heard his drunken rants about how Cora needed to hurry it up already above deck.
It wasn't the extreme changes to her body and constant animalistic hunger that made her feel less human. It was perhaps the feel of being a cage animal. She needed the sea. The sea had become her; she could feel her mind going with each day. The only thing that kept her going insane was thinking about saving Jaime.
Killian had said he wanted her to open a portal at some point, he didn't say which portal. She could trick him there. However, that hope grew weaker and weaker each day. Just like the selection of fish started growing slimmer and slimmer and Killian's appearances became rarer and rarer.
God, she hated the fact that all she was starting to care about was fish. And she had hated the damn things before she became a mermaid.
Then it happened one night, the door above the bilge opened and light spewed in before something was thrown below towards her.
It didn't take Emma long to realize this was a person, or exactly something else since the being's skin was really scaly and he reminded her of…Ford.
Wait, it was Ford. But like her he looked so different—she didn't understand.
She looked up to see Killian looking at her, "That's dinner, witch. Hope you enjoy crocodile."
"I'm not going to eat him, Killian…" She snapped, though her stomach rumbled. She had heard of her sisters eating humans before, though not scaly humans. But still the thought of it disgust, she wasn't that far gone yet. Though, she did wonder if she would consider it if it wasn't Harumple. No, No. Yet, her stomach rumbled. She was so hungry.
What was she becoming?
"Get rid of him." The pirate snapped breaking her out of her thoughts of self loathing, "I don't care if you decided to gobble him down or not, but I want him gone by tomorrow. Needless to say, you won't get any fish if you don't cooperate."
He then closed the door leaving Emma alone face to face with her unconscious and incapacitated husband who she had just been ordered to kill.