Chapter 22: Call Me Irresponsible
Harry Potter was tired. Dark One's had to sleep, and he had been sleep deprived for the past few days with hopping back and forth from doing his kingly duties and well all the crap that was occurring in Storybrooke.
First there was his relationship with Emma, he had relented and decided to attempt a relationship with her as Ford Gold. It was bat shit insane, and knew as much, but it wasn't like he could confide in his one sane bestie since she was wrapped up in problems of her own all because of Humbert.
Or the Huntsman, whose life he pretty much saved last night and all he got in return was the stink eye from said wolf man.
Not a great bargain.
He would've much rather had been in bed with Emma, but no. He had to go out to the cemetery of all places at night and unravel Regina's half ass blood wards. Not to mention find out that she used Jaime's blood—his blood—as one of the so called wards. That in itself infuriated him, where almost, almost he didn't do his heroic deed of the day.
At least Hermione was happy. Honestly, a part of him didn't want to offer his services to her, but she was his best friend and the Huntsman would be a useful enough ally—he guessed.
What amazed him though, was the amount of hearts that was in that vault. He hadn't been joking when he said that Regina had become a heart hoarder like Cora, but what particularly interested him was that two hearts were missing—Rosa Mills and Leo Mills.
Not real relatives, he was sure, he was sure there was a coding system or something—that a third grader could probably figure out since Graham's heart had been hidden under Wolfgang Mills.
Seriously, Wolfgang Mills. They probably didn't even need to do that blood summoning charm, but whatever.
The Huntsman's heart was back in his chest and he was protected. And more importantly, he remembered which meant someone else remembered how truly crazy Regina was.
Though, that someone didn't like him very much and he could tell that someone was annoyed that Hermione was his bestie.
Seriously, he was already tired of all the He Man looks Graham had given him once he remembered who he truly was. He was really going to have to work on his Graham Cracker act, and Harry had told him as much before they left the cemetery.
Not that Graham really cared, you could tell now that he had his memoires and Regina didn't hold leverage over him he wanted to kill her. Too bad, he had first dibs and he made that perfectly clear last night.
"You aren't going to be impulsive, Humbert. I swear, if you let her know you now I will kill you myself."
"Rumple!" Hermione said shocked.
"Look at him, Hermione. He is going to tear out her throat. He looks just like Lupin does around the full moon."
Well, Lupin was a little bit more grey and sweaty, but still the animalistic. And he knew that the Huntsman really was only half human in some regards.
"You're not going to kill Regina, are you?" Hermione asked Graham.
He shook his head. "Of course not, but she needs to be stopped."
"I think that's something we can all agree to," Gold said. "And I do have a plan. Tell me do you happen to know that the Town Charter has a moral's clause…"
Graham looked at him, "Does anyone read that thing?"
"I did and Hermione did too." Harry said, "I think that's two somebodies."
Graham shook his head. "Okay, there's a moral clause, what about it?"
"I think the dear mayor violated it, Sherriff. And the good city of Storybrooke cannot have an unethical mayor."
"So, what do you suggest that you become mayor?"
Harry laughed. "No. I have ambitions that are higher than that. But I do have the perfect candidate, and I want your help to make sure she'll succeed."
Yes, he wanted Emma to run for mayor.
He knew it would take some convincing and that she'd think the idea was ludicrous which was why he wanted Graham to bring up the idea to her rather than himself.
It was a good plan, he kept telling himself as he took a shower that morning. Emma would be able to have access to more information at the time and further incapacitate Regina. She needed to be rendered as useless as possible before the curse broke, Harry thought as he heard the bathroom door open and shortly after someone throwing up.
"Emma," He said sticking his head outside the shower.
Sure enough it was Emma vomiting. He frowned, she had been sick on and off for the past few days. He was going to make her see a doctor. The last time she had been this sick was when she was pregnant with Jaime.
No.
It was impossible.
But he remembered that night, the night that he first took her into his arms as Ford Gold. He hadn't used protection. Hadn't even thought about it really—idiot.
He had no excuse.
He wasn't a teenager. He was over three hundred years old with memories this time around. This time around, he was a grown ass man. And yet, he still was stupid enough not to use protection.
Frowning Harry turned the water off. His long shower would have to wait. He grabbed the bathrobe and threw it on as he came to where Emma was.
She was in that disgustingly pink bathrobe again. He had mocked it tremendously as he had found himself ripping it off of her body the past two days. Now it clung around his wife as a protective armor.
Kneeling down to where Emma sat, he began to trace deep circles around her back until she finally settled down.
"I really think you need to see a doctor." He finally said.
"I already have," She said not quite looking at him.
He frowned looking at her. "You know I'm not a stupid man, Emma. This isn't just the stomach flu."
Plus, he had been with her the last time she was pregnant.
She didn't say anything.
"I know that night we were careless," He said stating that they didn't use protection.
And then the damn broke, and Emma started crying. "Is it that obvious?"
"That you're pregnant? No, love. I just, the symptoms are sort of obvious to someone who shares a bedchamber with you."
And someone who had been there during the first time making oodles of shortbread and raisin rice just so that she could keep something down.
She frowned, "Oh, God, what time is it if Jaime—"
"It will be fine," He said not mentioning that he could poof to the other side of the house if Jaime was close to them sharing time together. "Besides, I swear that kid is part vampire. I'm going to make you some shortbread, okay?"
"More shortbread?"
"Yes, it will settle down your stomach."
She frowned, "You're not talking about…it."
"You mean the baby?" He asked.
She nodded.
"What is there to talk about?" He said knowing they were on shaky territory.
"We're barely together, and I'm married. But God damn it, I want this baby." She managed to sputter out surprising herself.
"I want it too," He said. "Things will work out. I have to file the documents that Regina signed. And once the custody is taken care of, I'll help you get your divorce."
She shook her head. "I can't tell Harry about this."
"About our child." He said.
She nodded. "At least not now."
"I understand," He said as he helped her get back to bed.
Harry frowned, at her resolved for him—well, his later ego not to know about the baby. Exactly how was that going to work? He couldn't be that concentrated on it though since he needed to zap up some more shortbread. Thank God, Jaime slept in late and he could just do it the old fashion way—meaning, waving his hand and have it magically appear. Though to be honest, had he actually had the time to cook right now he would've enjoyed doing something so monotonous that didn't involve massive amounts of planning.
He sighed as he looked at the shortbread. Although, it had been conjured perfectly, he didn't like the cinnamon ratio and was dabbing some extra on there—because he knew Emma would eat anything with cinnamon on it when Jaime came prodding into the room.
"Mr. Gold," He said eying him oddly.
Then Harry remembered he was still in his bathrobe with a towel thrown on top of his head because he was more concerned about settling Emma's stomach than looking like an idiot.
"Hello, Jaime." He said.
It was odd interacting with his son like this. "I'm getting your mother some breakfast, she's still not feeling well I'm afraid?"
Jaime raised an eyebrow. "In your bathrobe?"
"It's important to settle down Emma's stomach." He said avoiding the question, "How is everything going?"
"Fine," The boy said. "I had school yesterday. It was boring. I have school today, it will be boring."
"Which is why you weren't sleeping in and why you're dressed." He said putting two and two together.
"Bingo," Jaime said. "You have any of that shortbread left, it smells good. Is that cinnamon?"
"Yep, cinnamon." Harry said. "Unfortunately, I only have enough for your mum, though I'm sure I can make another batch."
"I doubt in time for school," The kid said. "I'll have some Cereal before I walk to the bus stop."
"Bus stop? Don't be ridiculous, I'll give you a ride."
"Mr. Gold, the bus is really no big deal." The kid said. "Emma made me ride it yesterday, so I doubt it will get you any brownie points."
"Brownie points?" Harry said confused.
The kid rolled his eyes. "I'm not stupid, you know. You two are totally shagging with each other. I shouldn't be though, since you know since Emma is married to Harry but I'm guessing them being together is a custody thing."
"Is it really that obvious?" Harry found himself asking his ten-year-old.
Jaime shrugged. "Well, not to everyone else. But I live with you guys. And I've seen the tension between Harry and Emma. And—well, I heard you and Emma."
"Too much information," Harry said inwardly turning red wondering what had happened to the silencing wards he had conjured around the bedroom. "I am going to drive you to school though, regardless. God knows what sort of troll they have driving that bus."
"How did you know that Ms. Bridgewater looks like a troll."
Because he was pretty sure she used to be one in another realm.
He didn't tell Emma that Jaime knew. He had to get her stomach settled down and get dressed so that he could take him to school.
"I can't believe I forgot he had school," Emma said. "I am a terrible mother."
"You're hardly terrible," Harry said. "Besides, you're feeling a little under the weather."
"I'm pregnant not dying." Emma said. "God, I just said I'm pregnant. I can't believe this is happening—again. Well, at least this time I didn't find out until I was almost in the second trimester."
She shuddered at the thought. Harry wanted to mention that in reality that she had found out much sooner, but he couldn't. He couldn't tell her so much.
"Be that as it may, you still need to be in bed. Did Whale give you anything to settle the nausea?"
She rolled her eyes, " He said he had some stuff for me at the hospital. But to be honest, I haven't even made an appointment yet. Other than the diagnosis, which I didn't believe until I took four tests that all have a stupid positive sign on it, I thought he was full of it. I mean, up until then we had only had sex once."
"It's not that far fetched," He said. "We did make love and protection doesn't always work."
"I should've been on the pill," She snapped. "I am a grown ass woman, not a teenager."
Harry wanted to point out that the pill didn't work the last time they had had created a baby.
"You can get something to help with the morning sickness." He said, "One of my aunt's had an old family remedy that I can make if you want me too."
Translation he already put a potion to help with the morning sickness in the shortbread.
"That's fine," Emma said. "I'll take anything at this point. I just—we have a lot to talk about. Don't we?"
"Yes, but right now focus on yourself and the baby." He said as he grabbed a suit from the closest.
He was just glad he had all of Ford's clothes here and Harry's—well, in Harry's room.
"Have you ever worn jeans, Ford." He heard Emma ask while he changed.
He frowned, "Yes, but I prefer suits."
"I'd like to see you in a pair of jeans," She said. "I bet your butt would look good in them."
Obviously, the potion was relaxing her. And really, he didn't know what her penchant with jeans was. Even when they were kids—
He shook his head as he finished tying his tie. "Get some rest, love."
Jaime was waiting for him downstairs. "Is she okay?"
"She's going to be fine," He said to the boy. "Ready for school?"
The kid rolled his eyes.
"I'm taking that as a no." Harry said.
"I hate school," The kid said. "I know I need it and junk to be a functioning member of society, but I'm tired of being looked at like a freak."
"Freak?"
Jaime nodded. "Regina's not the only one who thinks I'm freakish. Honestly, the whole town hates me. Bad things happen when I'm around, Mr. Gold."
"Don't be ridiculous," Harry said as he started backing out of the driveway. "You seem perfectly normal to me. Though, you do know more than you should. I really thought the walls in this house were thick. Do you have bionic hearing like Superman?"
"I wish," Jaime said. "But if I was going to be a superhero it wouldn't be Superman. He is sort of lame, despite having all those powers."
"I suppose you like Batman then, like Emma."
"If we're talking about DC characters, yeah." Jaime said. "Though I really like the Marvel movies better. They just seem a little bit more real, you know?"
"I don't think aliens attacking New York is exactly realistic." Harry pointed out.
"Well, the characterization." Jaime said, "But you'd be surprise, strange things happen. At least when I'm around."
"Strange things, like what?" Harry said a strange feeling coming over him that seemed almost familiar.
Was it possible?
Of course it was possible. The harsher part of his brain thought. He had Lily Potter's DNA running through his veins now, and Baelfire had somehow been magical in this world. He even had magic before he learned of the curse. Emma was magical, even though it seemed she had no access to it. I wouldn't be that difficult to think that Jaime could be magical.
"This is silly," His son said turning a shade of red—he had obviously gotten the blushing thing from his mother since Rumple couldn't recall if he had ever blushed.
"Nothing silly," He found himself saying as he pulled up to a stop sign.
"Yes, but—this sort of stuff shouldn't be happening. It's ridiculous as that book Regina went berserk over."
"The fairytale book?" Harry asked.
He remembered how ridiculous—yet how true that book was. He was still trying to figure out it's origins. He suspected that the stupid Sorcerer was somehow behind this, God he hated that guy. His so called light counterpart. He often had told Dumbledore's portrait that Dumbledore was only the second largest sanctimonious asshole he knew and that was in part because of the Sorcerer. Someone who he couldn't stand at all, who was ever Dark One's mortal enemy.
Though, Regina was a close second for him.
The book had the light wizard's fingerprints all over it. Obviously, it was supposed to lead Jaime to Emma to break the curse. Yet, neither Jaime nor Emma seemed to believe in the book and as far as Rumple knew any signs of the curse weakening had more or less been Regina overextending herself than anyone beliving in magic again.
"Yes, the fairytale book." Jaime said. "I don't know why she freaked out over it. The book is creepy. I mean, did you see some of the art work? But it's not real, right?"
"Seems like you're questioning it," He said as he made a right turn.
"It seems like you want me to confide in you." The kid said clearly having a bit of his brain cells.
"Well, you brought up odd things happening and the book." He said. "I'm sensing a connection."
The boy sighed, "It's stupid."
"What's stupid?"
"You'll think I'm crazy," He said. "You probably already do since you're questioning me about a fairytale book."
"I merely talking about the book since you mentioned it," He said. "And I don't think you're crazy. I mean, how can I think you're crazy when you haven't told me what you're talking about."
The boy sighed, "You're a lawyer, right?"
"Yes," Harry said. "I'm your Mum's lawyer."
And husband. And your father. But hey, those were just details.
"Lawyers have to keep secrets, right?" The boy said, "At least that's what they say on TV?"
"If you're my client then yes, but I'm sure you don't have anything that I would have to represent you for."
The boy rolled his green eyes. His eyes which were almost exactly like his when he as in Harry form, but had a tinge of the same color of his original form. "I wouldn't say that."
"Jaime, I doubt—"
"Do I need to give you a retainer?" The boy said. "For you to officially be my lawyer, I think I have a dollar somewhere."
A dollar was far from what retaining him would actually cost, but Harry figured this was the only way that Jaime was going to talk.
"Let me pull over," He said. "I have a feeling this is going to be a long discussion."
"You'd probably be right, I might miss school."
"I doubt you'd learn anything new," He said.
"Touché," The boy said as Harry pulled the car into a little clearing not that far away from the cemetery he was in only the night before. "Only Emma will get pissed."
"Emma has her mind on other things," He said. "Besides, I can always state you had the stomach flu or something."
"That's right, Emma had it. It could be contagious."
Inwardly, Harry shook his head knowing that Emma's stomach issues weren't contagious.
"Now, the retainer, Jaime?"
The boy nodded handing him a dollar.
"Feel free to tell me anything," Gold said.
The boy sighed, "You're going to think I'm nuts."
"I hardly doubt it." Harry said. "Besides, you're paying me to listen."
"Well, it's my job not to judge. So, you say you're worried you committed a criminal offense."
"I never said that," The boy said. "But yeah, I do think—did Emma ever find out how I got sent to Hooper in the first place?"
Rumple shook his head. "She mentioned you were claustrophobic. And because Regina was foolishly listed your legal guardian, it's not like she or your father had access to your files."
Jaime nodded. "Well, there was an incident with Regina."
"There's always an incident with Regina." He said.
"She fell down the stairs." Jaime said.
"Oh," Rumple said.
"I didn't push her." Jaime said.
"I never said you did." Harry replied, though he would've pushed the harpy down the stairs and then some. Honestly, he wouldn't blame Jaime if he did.
The boy sighed, "I might've wanted her to fall though. I kept thinking that hoping, wishing she would fall. She locked me in my room for over two days. I was five. I always hated being locked up in there."
"I know," He said. "And it's perfectly fine to have those feelings."
Jaime rolled his eyes. "Wanting Regina to be hurt was fine?"
"Well, it is Regina, dearie? And you didn't push her."
"But—" The boy said. "I—I felt like my thoughts, well, somehow it caused her to fall."
"I'm sure it was just a coincidence."
He wasn't sure. In fact, he was suspicious that there was some accidental magic involved but he didn't want to outright say it. How traumatizing would it be for the boy to learn that he was a wizard by almost killing his mother?
Well, it was Regina.
The boy shook his head. "It's not a coincidence. There were other times. Like, Regina's always been obsessed with her looks. She always spends hours upon hours getting ready for her Saturday Shag."
"I am not going to even ask how you know about such a concept."
Jaime rolled his eyes, "Seriously, I might be ten but there is such a thing called television and the internet. Anyway, she always yelled at me about getting in her way and I sort of wished she had a mustache."
"A mustache?"
"Why not?" The boy said. "Regina always had to wax in the past, I always thought she might look cooler if she actually grew it out. And one day—well, one day it's like she got an insta mustache after she got pissed at me. It was funny at the time, but, but there's obviously something wrong with me."
"There's nothing wrong with you," Harry said sighing. "Has your father told you anything about his country, Jaime?"
He knew the answer was going to be no, but still for all intents and purposes he had to ask. Even though he was going to give the whole—you're a wizard talk to his son, telling him the truth and mess of lies concerning his identity was too much for his son to bear.
The boy shook his head.
"I could do with some hot chocolate right now, couldn't you?" He asked the boy.
"Yes, but Granny's—"
Harry waved his hand and two decent cups of hot chocolate appeared as the boy's jaw dropped.
"You're a wizard Jaime." He said repeating a slightly modified version of Hagrid's line as the boy stared at him.
"What?" The boy said. "You just materialized hot chocolate out of nowhere."
"The things that happened with Regina, it was accidental magic."
The boy shook his head.
"Think about it, I just zapped us up some hot chocolate out of nowhere. Shouldn't be possible."
"No," The boy said. "It shouldn't be. So, you're saying I'm a wizard."
"Yes," Harry said.
"And I'm assuming based on what you said about my dad, he's a wizard too."
"He is,"
"Why didn't he tell me?" The boy asked.
"Because there are laws," Harry said. "And really, if he did bring up the subject you'd probably think he was crazy."
"Not if he materialized hot chocolate in front of me," The boy said. "And you're a wizard too?"
"Guilty as charged," He said. "It's actually how I met Harry."
The boy looked at him closer and started shaking his head. "This doesn't make sense."
"Does it?"
"It explains a lot, doesn't it?"
"Yes, but—but witches and wizards. Is Emma a witch too?"
"What do you think?" He asked.
Jaime frowned, "Well, if she is she doesn't know about magic. She certainly made that clear. But if you look at that book, well, she wouldn't know she'd be cursed. But the book isn't right because it says this is the world without magic."
"Your head's going to explode." Rumple said, "If you keep thinking about it."
"My head has already exploded." Jaime said. "I found out that I'm a wizard and the only thing I have been doing with my so called magic powers is tormenting Regina."
"That won't be the only thing you'll be doing," Gold said. "You'll get your school invite to Hogwarts soon enough. Or maybe Salem, or that school's that name I can never pronounce; you are, after all, a US citizen. That will not do, it has to be Hogwarts."
"Mr. Gold?" Jaime said looking at Harry oddly.
"Sorry, went off there on a tangent for a minute. It's a bad habit of mine. But what I was trying to say, is you'll be going to magical school at some point and you'll learn how to control your powers."
"I need to control them now," Jaime said. "I don't want to hurt anyone."
"You haven't hurt anyone." Harry said.
"Uh, Regina." Jaime said.
"That doesn't' count. And you were protecting yourself as much as anything else."
"I need to learn to control my powers, can't you help, Mr. Gold?"
He frowned. While a part of him was tinkled pink that his son wanted to teach him how to use his powers, at the same time he probably wasn't exactly the most child friendly of tutors. And his already busy schedule made regular tutoring a little next to impossible.
After all, anyone who was the Dark One's pupil had to pull out a heart. It was just a part of the curriculum.
"Mr. Gold, if I can't control my powers I don't know what will happen."
"I'll help you," He said. "But I think I might have someone who might be a better teacher than me in mind."
"You want me to teach your son magic?" He told a cranky Hermione later that day.
It was obviously that she had came straight from his bed. She was wearing a bathrobe, and was a little shocked when he came over. She thought they weren't going to meet until later that night in order to coordinate how to get Emma to agree to run for mayor—though now, he wasn't even sure if that was a good idea.
Not that Emma wouldn't be a good mayor, but she was pregnant and obviously running an election against Regina would cause a lot of stress on her body. But she would make a great mayor...
"You know my schedule," Harry said. "Besides, I'm not exactly the most child friendly magic teacher."
"You can say that again," Hermione said grimacing as she probably remembered Heart Pulling 101. "So, I guess Jaime knows."
"That I'm also Harry Potter? God, no. I didn't want to explode the boy's head. Besides, even though I trust my son, he's still only ten. I can't expect him to keep that sort of secret."
Hermione nodded, "You're probably right. But it has to be getting to you. All these secrets. Graham says it's going to bite your ass one day."
"You told Graham Cracker that Ford and me are the same person."
"He can smell you." She said, "You smell the same. He was halfway tempted to tell Emma, but he feels he owes you."
"He does owe me," He said. "And the last thing Emma needs right now is a revelation like that."
Hermione narrowed her eyes, "Is she still ill?"
"You could say that," He said as he thought about his pregnant wife.
And it clicked. "She's pregnant again, isn't she?"
"Just say it out loud for the entire world, will you, Hermione?" He snapped.
"There's no one here," She said. "Graham had to go to the station so Regina wouldn't get suspicious. I placed wards around here last night, so it's safe. I didn't think you actually slept with her yet, Harry?"
"Well, we had Jaime ten years ago. So, it's clear we slept together."
"That's not what I meant and you know it," She said. "And obviously you didn't use protection this time around. Just like last time. Are you sure you're over three hundred years old?"
"I thought she was on the pill," He snapped. "She was the last time we—we were involved. Obviously, it doesn't matter now. We can provide a life for this child. You know that."
"I know," She said. "But Harry, do you realize what a mess your in? She's still married to Harry. I know you got Regina to sign those documents, but still."
He shrugged. "I have a meeting with the magical US president later this week. I am pretty sure, I'll have custody regardless. I'll then have Emma her divorce, and she can be with Ford."
"And you really think that's going to work well with your whole role as king of the magical United Kingdom. I mean, it's King Harry not King Rumford."
He frowned, "She already thinks I travel for work."
"What about if you are able to recover her memories, and when she breaks the curse?" Hermione asked, "She is the Savior. It's going to happen eventually."
"Her memories won't return if she breaks the curse," He said. "And you and I both know, that unless I can find that true love potion, and that is a huge if the likelihood of her remembering our past isn't likely."
"And how will her parents' like the fact that she's involved with the Dark One? Graham mentioned that the Charmings' couldn't stand you."
"No one could stand me, dearie." He said, "I don't think they'll be an issue in the long run."
She shook her head.
"Will you teach Jaime or not?"
"Of course I'll teach him," Hermione said. "But Harry."
"What?"
"Really, think about what I said I don't want this blowing up in your face."
"I heard you."
"And Harry,"
"Yes?"
"Congratulations. I know you're excited about the baby."
He was.