My strength was lessening by the moment.
I took a shot at trying to stand after picking up the book, the pain in my thighs was disturbing; I opened my legs in an attempt to see between them uselessly after laying on the bed. I hated myself for returning to Martin's home. So many days during my visits had been unaccounted for, even before the sexual escapades with Dario had begun. Rationally I was bound by his carnal chain I pictured myself on my knees with it around my neck, my desires were baleful and condemning, without question I was burning slowly. My obsessions, impious and profane. I felt I'd laid down with multiple partners.
Dario's delectation was potent, however impassiveness he devoided, there was no feel to him whatsoever, I'd given my all for a connection, now the eyes haunted me and designated vileness. I had welcomed something else into the bedroom. While I looked around for my clothes I remembered I hadn't worn any when he entered, furthermore I noticed the dirt underneath my nails.
With feebleness I held on to my prudence and tried to tune out the voice, I had begun to hate the child that developed and credited the sexual desires to being pregnant. The bond we shared was unique, not like the rest; I wanted Troy freed so I could kill him myself. Hadn't he wanted it? It was all my fault, why had I even allowed him to impregnate me again?
The range of emotions flooded me while I tried to maintain my balance holding on to the wall. I looked in the mirror at myself after getting up, nothing else could compensate the scars, the visible tarnish, who could requite my afflictions? I sought an unreachable climax and had been a detriment to my own advantage but I was merited reparation for the longsuffering! I wanted every red cent. The previous results had only been indicative of the mistakes the ones before had made, of them all Louisa was the only one around...since Trenton had passed away.
The need for pleasure yet remained and would not die down.
Martin's arrest just seemed so cunning; if no one else was, he was protected. I hadn't known Procell but it was becoming an infatuation just to know who he was, what could I do for him?
The looks as they'd come into the lobby had been priceless, had I not deserved to be in his presence?
Movement above had stopped, there was something strange about when he was near I could feel his closeness. Unknowingly I'd begun to sweat. It was approaching 6 a.m., why was he stirring? He could not stop me from leaving! I felt something sinister had taken place and had not remembered. I was convinced this time, the sleep that had come over me he'd persuaded it.
Troy had demanded me not to come back to the prison. I was so angry, he had pursued me and fucked my life up! He should have just killed me! They all had betrayed me---except Twan. The sounds of the calliope came to mind, it's ear splitting, circus like tune had spontaneously sounded in the Bentley, Alexander's bizarre musical preference frightened me further. Nathaniel's words... was anything new under the sun?
A monogrammed robe hung inside of the spacious closet, I'd spotted it in the mirror on the closet wall, removed it from the hook and put it on. I traced the lettering with my fingertips before turning off the light and closing the door. I needed clothes.
Dario was near, I could almost feel his breath. The thought occurred, he was watching me.
I looked above the drapery that hang on the two large windows---there had to be a camera, somewhere. Why would there not be? I was becoming more enraged. What the fuck had he done to me? Our words had been limited but our encounters; countless.
Lawrence had called twice more on Christmas Day, I tried to omit the feelings of worthlessness but low was an understatement. I opened the message that had been delivered in all caps and became offended by the tone. What was so important?
He'd seemed upset when I'd last seen him at the orchard, what could have transpired since then? I texted him---I had no explanation for not responding sooner. Moments went by, I'd gone into the bathroom and turned on the jets after locking the bedroom door, he texted back, "The excavation crew were killed. Where are u?"
I responded by saying in New Orleans. There had been a crew of four men, I wondered how they were killed? I was almost sure it was coincidental---but were they worthy enough to dig?
"We need to meet asap, I will send u the location."
An address was soon delivered.
I didn't reply but was even more disturbed than I had been prior. Dario's movement in the home had me on edge, my body felt feverish. I removed the robe and stepped into the jacuzzi before submerging into the water entirely contemplating not coming back up for air. I was in so much pain, physically and emotionally, was it all written?
The unfamiliar number had called, I'd called back and received the same result, someone just held the telephone. I looked around the lavish bathroom promising myself I wouldn't settle for anything less from now on, it was my birthright. Nathaniels words resurfaced as I did.
Why was I so sore? I couldn't understand what had taken place, had I allowed it? His eyes were like fire! I needed to go! I recalled the incident, I was sure of what I'd witnessed. Enraptured by concupiscence, I'd gone to another place...
Barely finding strength, I climbed from the tub and went back into the room, it was now daylight. I could still feel his attendance.
I thought about the crew, four workers, four snakes; they had all dug into the ground.
Each time I closed my eyes flashes of the encounter with Dario surfaced visually, how could I have been so subdued by lust? Submissively I'd allowed him to explore my soul, it had resulted in physical torment. As I held my phone it rang, startled I dropped it to the ground...again I'd stood in the mirror picking myself to pieces. I saw the prison number displayed across the screen while it vibrated between my feet.
I ignored it, Troy would hear the anguish in my voice! I missed him so much---after no answer he called again. By then the tears had resumed, I missed him so much it was unbearable, I struggled to pick up the phone and accepted the call; tears were now rapidly falling. I just needed to hear his voice. For a moment I just held it to my ear.
"Hazel---greetings, it's a pleasure to hear your voice. I hope all is well."
Martin... I became upset and nauseous, my voice cracked as I fumbled my words---"Yes, I am fine."
"Assuredly."
I hated that muthafucka! I was in his home plotting in my mind to destroy him at that very moment! My disappointment was evident, what the fuck did he want? I was curious to know why he hadn't wanted me to gain Procell's acquaintance!
"Why are u there?" I asked impulsively.
"We are hard pressed on every side but not crushed..."
I recognized the scripture, as I spoke to him I felt Dario close by.
"Is it anything I can do to help u," I asked frivolously.
"Are u capable of yielding an outcome? Efficacious and fruitful?"
What did he mean?
"The rhythms of life are forebode, nix we alter the course of evolution and our bearings stray. Do u agree that it is feasible? Hath not the light invaded the dark? In the beginning the continuous process of darkness was interrupted with light---but it is only veiled to the unmindful. Without dimness light is unwarranted. With liberty to see in darkness is accorded to those with proclivity to envisage. 'And the light shines in the darkness, the darkness did not comprehend it' Look it up! It's in there!"
I was familiar with the scripture from John 1...Daddy taught about darkness. In silence I listened to Martin talk while trying to sense Dario's whereabouts. What the fuck did he want? Had he called twice on Christmas Day too? I was certain he and Troy was in the same prison, perhaps it had not been my child's father but Martin instead. He continued to speak while my mind drifted back to Lawrence's text message. I dried off looking at my bruised body in the mirror. Putting on the underwear was an obstacle.
Darkness.
"Have u seen?"
I had to yet find out why he was incarcerated, "Denard will deliver to u my case file, everything u may need is in the law library, but u are readily competent. The reward will be ample. Your knowledge is only one of the many accolades u possess, however sight in addition to the profound knowledge is a double edged sword. You lack desire openly but seek pleasure due to lack of. The knowledge u have been blessed with was granted , being so all else will be added unto u."
The Seal of Solomon came to mind, he'd prayed for knowledge nothing else---and was granted the Seal, a signet ring that had given him power to command the demons. My mother spake of how beautiful the temples were he'd built. The Queen of Sheba had traveled to witness his knowledge firsthand, she'd tested him with hard questions. He'd answered them all correctly and she was convinced, she had never witnessed knowledge that profound. Makeda's union with King Solomon brought forth a son Menelik after returning to Ethiopia, she'd said Solomon's knowledge has surpassed all other knowledge she'd imagined. The ring was said to be given to him by God to command the demons, he could see. Many identified the queen with Lilith. The demon had come persuasively in disguise. Had she been summoned unknowingly? When he died King David's son had forgotten about God.
I was suddenly confused, why had he wanted me to look at his case file?
"Stay at the home as long as u like, it is your base."
What?
After putting the robe back on I leaned against the door and could feel Dario on the other side, angrily I snatched it open to find no one there.
"Where is Kerri? I asked.
"She needed time to lament and now recognizes her mistakes. Give her my love, she will soon return."
I knew I had to leave the home. There was something sinister inside that could be felt...the chills consumed my body but I remained feverish, the sweat was beading on my forehead. Was I coming down with something? My feet were swollen, steps were limited but I had to leave!
I felt trapped!
"I've met Procell!" I said angrily.
"Yes, yes...the privilege. His acquaintance is the greatest prerogative of the elite. After u had gone the night of Severance he doted on your tenacity. I admit, your deportment was rather unorthodox---but bemusing. The champagne tends to have that effect but that's neither here nor there. He speaks highly of u, so had Andre."
"Why are u there Martin," I asked aggravated, I had no time for small talk and hadn't agreed to look at anything! Why would I stay around to wait for his case file? I was no lawyer!
"Well, many believe what is done in the dark will always come to light, I beg to differ. U will become more enlightened, read the file."
I was on the verge of losing it! Bits and pieces of the encounter with Dario were surfacing, in the fragments I saw him yet beautiful as ever, the tattoo across his chest while above me, but could not see his face.
Instantly I remembered Mama's words, Martin's eyes---years ago.
Asmodeus was tattooed across Dario's chest, hadn't the Bible mentioned him also? Sarah's daughter, he'd killed her seven husbands. I'd researched after the first encounter--- Dario praised the entity, it had piqued my interest, had he given him the sexual capabilities? I had even wondered why bitches were not suicidal behind that nigga. Had they eventually seen his eyes? Or awakened in oblivion?
Martin's voice trailed as I drifted off---Dario walked about like a guard dog, I planned to burn him alive and felt violated. After 15 minutes the call ended, he was in fact locked up, and had not seemed perturbed about me meeting Procell or being there.
The meeting of my thighs was intolerable as I walked from the room---holding on to the wall I entered into the kitchen, Dario stood at the island holding a peach. I would not look at him initially but inquired, "What did u do to me?"
"Only what u desired---are u satisfied?" he smirked.
"FUCK U!" I said...he knew what I meant! My whole body ached, I wasn't sure if I could even drive away.
"Do u want grapes, u need to eat."
The painting Vallee de la Mort hang beside the large St. Julien China cabinet, the words elevator and valeted ascended; loved, redeem, travel all followed along with many other signs. His kind gestures hadn't tallied with the deep red scratches on his back---I remembered my fingernails, but how had I managed to scratch him so deeply? Had I fought? There were trails...
As if he'd read my thoughts he turned smiled and said, "Do u remember the circle? Don't go far---u may lose your head."
I stood behind him awestruck at his arrogance, he didn't know what I was capable of.
Why the fuck was he so callous? Inhumane and nonchalant, plain evil---the worst kind!
Honestly I felt like I couldn't stop fucking him, he was a sex demon! On the flipside I considered how easy it was to dwell among them---or they among us? We sought darkness unknowingly.
A revelation had come at once, I remembered the medications, my childhood---what was the tongue Kerri had spake since a child, there had to have been someone who could interpret? I entered back into the room, determined to leave right then. In pain I began to gather all the things I'd brought inside, my knees were becoming weaker by the moment, at that point I didn't give a fuck what happened to the child, I was a withered tree and knew I couldn't bring him into the world righteously, he already controlled me. I needed to talk to Troy, he knew something! Had he called? With every intention to visit the prison I cried. Why had he even told me to get rid of it without reasoning? The hurt was indescribable.
As I prepared to leave the urge strongly came over me to burn Martin's home down. The evil could be felt----he practiced it and not everyday evil! The evil that could not be seen, the evil that controlled us all, the kind of evil The Bible said we wrestled against. It was prominent in his home---the power had to be in the books, the paintings; the walls. He'd built a tabernacle that needed to be burned! The energy was so ruling I was scared I would fuck around and see the devil himself!
While I collected my shit I could smell that nigga and was close to a panic attack. He couldn't stop me! How would I fight him? Who could hear me screaming? Could I make it through the window, me and the bastard child?
I removed my keys from the bag quietly as possible and walked to the door barely standing. The money was important and I needed it to take care of my children, also the properties would one day be theirs. It was entitlement---the blood, sweat, the tears.
With the book in my bag I prepared to escape. I remembered the candles being lit upstairs before walking through the kitchen and approaching the gas stove. Nothing stirred.
As fast as I could I left out, but leaned against Kerri's car, I'd nearly collapsed before I made it to the Bentley and got inside.