My head pounded from the adrenaline that had rushed through my body, I stood at the passenger door of the Cruz and spilled the rest of my insides onto the ground. Nikki was so afraid as I tried to assure her we were fine, she just didn't understand! I'd done what I had to do so I could live for my children. I hadn't known exactly where in Mississippi my sons were but I'd known Lawrence lived 3 hours away from Metairie. I would show up with the police if I had to! My babies needed me and I hoped everything I had done hadn't been in vain. I had more than a few texts from Troy, he was angry and I hadn't even known if he was still at the motel or not. I saw headlights nearing behind us and instructed Nikki to drive, I believed Martin was on his way. Trenton owed him his life and he was coming. Since I was still in possession of Trenton's phone, I texted Angela, "Are u there yet?"
"In 20 minutes," she replied. I would deal with that phony bitch and find out why she felt she could play me like the rest of them muthafuckas, as well as get the medicine even if I had to kill her, either way she wouldn't be expecting me. I told Nikki to exit Spring St downtown Shreveport and park on the opposite side of the river. I soon saw Angela arrive, back in and turn off her lights. I then told Nikki who complained about being sleepy to park forward beside her car. She recognized Trenton's car.
She opened her car door, I told Nikki to only roll the window down barely to make her comfortable about getting out of the car, she couldn't see through the tint. As she walked to the car and attempted to put the small brown bag containing vials she had stolen through the driver's window I leaned and snatched it from her hand before she had even realized Trenton was not inside. Nikki rolled the window down further. She backed away frightened and disappointed she had been played, "I hope u really didn't need the money," I told that disloyal bitch, before telling Nikki to let the window up in that bitch's face. She stood at the car still trying to explain when we backed out into the street. I was so tired of fake ass people and tasted their blood like a predator. My phone had begun to continuously ring as Troy and Martin continued to call. I finally answered for Troy and if he had any static I would stick his ass too so he couldn't move. As we rode and I talked to him I scrolled through my phone and found the account numbers I had saved, I had a plan.
I needed food, I had been on a emotional roller coaster for the past few hours, and had wondered if I loved Troy. I mean, I thought I had loved Trenton but found out I hadn't, also I didn't know if I loved Redd the way I thought I had, I would have loved anyone who had rescued me from Daddy. Troy was Troy though, he was different somehow but I knew he wasn't shit. I had read how Terrica begged him to come home and saw all the pictures they'd taken together. He was a "take it or leave it ass nigga" and it was what it was. His biggest flaw was that he was spoiled.
A part of my burden had been lifted, I entered the motel room to find him sitting up talking to Von smoking the room out with the detectors covered. He said nothing as Nikki and I walked inside. I walked in the bathroom taking Nikki with me, reminding her not to mention anything. We returned to the bed where Troy now laid and sat down.They smoked quietly until Von said, "we about to burn out, I guess," while looking at Nikki. She frowned, but obediently reached for her purse, "I just gotta show him what to do with it." Troy laughed while inhaling, choking while passing Nikki the blunt, I took it from her hand and hit it, he was suddenly mad again. He had me fucked up. I refused to submit to that clown.
He studied me as I said goodbye to Nikki. As soon as they left out headed to the casino hotel he struggled to sit up, I knew the temporary paralysis was wearing off, they had even regained the feeling in their bodies but it only had made Troy's injuries worse, he was bruised worse than I was. Von had brought him his own clothes, and a briefcase. I dared not ask what was inside.
He talked, I knew his mouth was sore but I kissed his lips anyway, the thought occurred, I was alive because of him! Perhaps he was alive because of me likewise, Trenton hadn't had any intentions on going back, he had paralyzed them and tied them up. Troy was no longer beneficial to him and I wanted to know about the money he had given him. What was it for?
I scrolled through Troy's messages that had come to my phone, and one stood out.
"I hope I haven't wasted my time trying to save u, I risked my own life because I know we can be happy together. It's not about money but u do remind me of my Tlady, that's why I took u to her home. Maybe I do want u to be my Mama, ion know."
I laughed while he stared at me, confused.
I was older than he was and I was surely capable of loving him, but I wanted a simple life. I could be powerful alone though, I didn't need his heartaches and hoeish tendencies interfering with my plans. I would get my children and leave FOR GOOD!
Nikki texted, "Bitch u owe me!"
Yep, I did. She would return first thing in the morning, and hopefully she had convinced Von to make the ID we needed.
Months before I had messaged Sabrina but we were not friends on Facebook. I'd sent a request that was ignored. As I rubbed Troy's hair she accepted my request. I wanted to talk to her, she had loved Twan once like I had, we had something in common. She had no reason to have any issues with me now and I had wanted her to see his children. Also she would tell me more about Nate and where to find him, like Martin Poindexter who had just texted as well, he too was so mysterious and secluded.
I couldn't wait for Troy to go to sleep, I would talk to Sabrina. I wondered if she had had Redd's baby.
Martin had texted and said, "I seemed to have underestimated u, I will make sure u have what u are entitled to."
Entitled to?
Had he sent someone to the address? Was Trenton alive? I was instantly burdened with grief. Troy watched as my expressions changed several times and shook his head. "U can't trust everybody," he mumbled and I hadn't known what the statement was in reference to. I laid behind him and went to sleep momentarily thinking about all the medications I'd been on had only made my situation worse, it was Trenton who had diagnosed me correctly, and I could now fix me.
I closed my eyes but could not sleep, I knew he was dead.
The next morning when Troy said Von would come and take him to the home on the Pines Road, I asked him how the Chrysler ended up beside his mother's house, he said he put it there and had waited for him to find it. "All of his cars have trackers, that's how I knew your every location." I knew I needed to ditch the Cruz. I went to Yvonne's and parked Trenton's car back where I got it from, Nikki and I walked to the TCBY which was only a few blocks away, I was so bruised up and ashamed to be in public but I felt free...I had never been free.
Through it all I had learned a lot. When the taxi arrived and asked whereto? I said Ethel La, I needed to get to the Orchard. The driver said we had to pay up front, I handed him 500 dollars and told him I would give him 500 more. Nikki saw his dreads, pulled out a blunt and fired it up. I would return and buy a car to go get my children. I looked in Trenton's phone, and returned Lawrence's texts from 5 days ago, he had texted, "Brother u said u would be gone for 2 days, I will take these children to the Office of Family Support if I don't hear from u in 24 hours."
Good.
We rode for hours, the cool ass Rasta had turned the meter completely off. I knew I could not be with Troy, I only had time for my babies. I missed my Emily and Boogie, and believed Trenton when he said my father had not hurt my son, his sickness lied elsewhere.
We rode.
After I read the messages, I listened to the Rasta talk to Nikki as she flirted, I knew the kind she liked. I could tell we neared Southern Louisiana, the foul scent of the swampland filled the air and entered the Crown Victoria we rode in through the vents, contaminating the weed filled air inside.
I just wanted to be normal.
I googled Sharon Givens, my mother. I'd found a number for her, a landline. She had a common name and no one still had household landlines, but I dialed the number anyhow. She answered, "Greetings be unto thee, Pastor Givens speaking."
For real this time?
"Hey Mama," I said.
"Hazel? My problem child? Oh I've missed u! Where are---"
"Who is Martin Poindexter?"
They were all around the same age, Daddy, Martin and Nathaniel.
"Don't get yourself tied up with that man! What him and your father had going on was a long time ago! We left that behind and moved here for a reason! U don't want anything he has to offer! I told Nathaniel when I saw him to let your father rest in peace! Martin has never done anything for Kerri!"
WHAT?
HELL NAW! I HATED HEEEEEERRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!
"Kerri is being held hostage Mama! Im calling u so u can be prepared if she is dead! Her and Ayden was kidnapped!"
"WAIT, CALM DOWN, WHO KID---?"
I ended the phone call and screamed to the top of my lungs! I told the cab driver to punch it, he laughed, "Nooo, Just chill and vibe out sister, feel the aura! Plus we have ganja! No, no speeding, seen?"
WHAT THE FUCK!?
I arrived at the Orchard, I didn't even know if I could get inside, the grounds were unkempt! It hadn't operated since I'd last been there! There was debris everywhere and I could not unlock the gate but climbed over and ran holding my belly hoping I could get inside of the shed. I picked up the phone from under the shed I'd hid a long time ago, it was full of memories. I would knock down the shed door if I had to, but to my surprise it was unlocked, the knob had been removed, I screamed Kerri's name and waited for the smell of death to greet my nose. Nikki was now running toward the shed, asking where we were. I took her phone and shined the flashlight and saw several wet spots on the mulch, her babies diaper was unrecognizable he had worn it so long. I touched the wettest spot and concluded Kerri had to have recently gone.
I ran back to the cab and told Ziggy to hurry up and get me back, I would pay him double. "Yes, but we gas up first, seen?"
I'd known Troy had likely called and we were in a no service area. As we pulled to a gas station I began to ask people if they had seen my sister walking with her naked baby, no one had. It just didn't make sense! How could she have disappeared?
Nikki went inside of the store and returned with snacks and cigarillos, I decided I could not help people when they were not straightforward. What happened back then?
Had Daddy once been one of them too?