Being in such a small space with Trenton smoking cigarettes back to back had me close to wheezing and gasping for air, he was torturing me in every way imaginable. He insisted on speaking in circles, but then he said"U thought I wouldn't find the car in the bushes? That was the dumbest place to put it, I know these woods like the back of my hand. I can stand on this hill and see the city. He laughed vigorously while holding his shoulder, his maniacal expressions told me he'd completely lost it. I sat on the bed dressed, the door was open and provided little light. The spots on the wood used to build my prison contained many circles, each one had stared at me in the dim light.
"Where is your boyfriend now? He can't save u this time, can he?"
I just wanted to know about the money, "Those accounts, why are they so important and who is Martin?" I was tired of guessing, he angrily disputed knowing anything about what and who I was referring to but called Troy a servant saying he would never know what was on the top tier. "A peasant salutes all power, whether good or evil. Spineless and weak-willed, he would rather reap benefit than really---know."
After dabbing the cigarette on the floor beside the upside down bucket he sat on he lit another one, the smoke now clouded the ceiling, I struggled to breathe while he made mockery of contaminating the air. "Where are my children?" I wouldn't mention the girls being with Pam, but were they even in school? I missed them so much! "The boys are safe---for now, don't know about the girls." There was no one I hated more than the man that sat 3 feet away from me. "U CAN'T JUST LET ME STARVE!" I finally yelled, the hunger pangs were excruciating! "I've brought plenty apples," He said. I just wanted him to get it over with! He was so ingenuine and how could I have ever trusted that man! Everything replayed in my mind, he was always---there! I should have known the coincidences were too peculiar. He fumbled in the pocket of the button down shirt he'd worn, I could tell he was just as weak as I was and I waited for an opportunity to get the syringe. "This is the mess u made in the shed." He tossed a picture on the bed, it was everything I'd written on the shed walls, he had taken pictures before he painted it, but why? I remembered writing some of it, some I didn't. I had basically recounted seeing the murders my father had committed, and I remembered LaDonna---her murder had been graphic, he had made me help. In detail I'd scribbled on the wall. "Im sorry!" I said while leaning to the side the hunger pangs were on, "I will die if I don't eat! What is it u want from me?"
"By now u know what I want, u are a smart girl. When u killed Hathaway u interfered with an important operation, my endeavors at that point were all in vain, I'd followed him for months! All because u found out he was fucking your man!"
Probable cause, fuck u!
"I must admit, they kept it kinky and u were so stupid. I watched u gun him down in a trance, and I recognized u and knew u were still around, just miles away! Your father saved u, and ran like the coward he was! Ya know, Louisiana isn't that big, everything is only a hop, skip, and a jump away. When u saved Sabrina, I knew I had to step in a little further. Mental illness tends to be lethal, u can kill and kill without remorse. What did Antwan tell u about me, I mean I know he informed u of how he despised me now, but has he told u how he would have been in jail today if I would have let her out! I-I could have kept her there! I-I'd gone, Kev, ya know he said we would be right back but the cops picked us up. I came back with food, but it was too late. And, and---what about the sexual assault, she had let them all---right by the lake in broad daylight! She wanted them to like her! Antwan, he was so afraid of Tobias, he did anything he said! Trena enjoyed them! Granddad knocked her unconscious, and took her home. He would have buried her! I had to do something! But its always in vain, she died anyway! SHE DIIIIED! Nate should have just kept us both, but he loved that bitch more! HE HAD A NEW FAMILY, NO ONE WANTED A CRACKHEAD! ONLY THE HYPOCRITE PREACHERS, HA! I'd even watched once, u ever wonder why his church burned down? Why did he just---move overnight?"
What he was saying was sickening, my insides churned. I leaned forward in pain as my stomach acids erupted onto the floor, in anguish I weakly fell to my knees. "JUST HELP ME!" I screamed at him! Take me out of my misery, I was literally starving to death!
"And they thought these were just---doodles! Read them to me!"
He was waving copies of the letters I'd hid in Seg 6, Christy had brought them to me after making the copies. They'd meant nothing to me, Redd had first sent letters in code to me a long time ago while in juvenile detention, only had I just looked at them so long while being segregated and recognized patterns and sequences they had ciphered!
"Also, your father had no history of homosexuality---so ask yourself who really harmed your son. U saw the pictures in his phone so u know how indecent he could get and even though the photos were implicit---u apparently got the picture and fooled him to meet u! Did u even wonder what happened to the attire u had worn? Didn't u get THAT picture too?!"
I wanted my sister and could not even remember what the letters said I would have to reconstruct the patterns and figure out the sequences to decipher it, that could take days! I hadn't really given a damn, what they said! I WAS PREPARING TO DIE! I knew I could only write back in code and the letters went to another address and then were sent to the prison. I reached for the syringe and as I had I saw Christy's broken Cartier wristband. All sorts of thoughts surfaced and as he went on and on trying to prove how he had been on my trail long before I'd even went to prison, I orchestrated my plan. I weakly climbed up from my knees back on the bed saying I would read the letter but held the syringe in my hand tight. I slid it underneath the pissy wool blanket he expected my to lay on in the smoldering temperatures until he decided to return. I knew he would leave me for days on end again tied to the bed, I had lost my mind. Something in me had snapped and I was ready for war, he had mentally abused me enough! I'd finally seen the real Trenton Carter. While doing my research on the Orchard I'd known it had been rat infested once, they'd used Strychnine to poison them, and it was odorless. I mean, it wouldn't have been hard to inject someone and kill them in a matter of minutes...only a genius could even come up with a plan to inject humans with it, simply because it was traceless. I wondered who his first victim was---the autopsy would only conclude the victim had suffered a heart attack and died, as his Grandfather had. Emily, had been Diabetic, a perfect way to get the syringes. But why?
I concealed the syringe and had known Christy had been in that same room before she died. I was looking at a monster. How had she known I'd killed Lamont?
"NOW! READ IT!," he was becoming delirious and distressed, his botched attempt to remove the top off of the pill bottle he'd retrieved from a small white bag resulted in him throwing it against the raw wood while they flew over the room. In anger he stood clumsily and told me to pick them up pulling me down to my knees by my wet hair, "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! YOUR FAULT! PICK THEM UUUP!"
I crawled across the floor noticing traces of evidence while picking up the pills, "I LOVE U. U NEED HELP!"
I somewhat sympathized the breakdown he was having, but knew he deserved every bit. It was making sense now and Granddad didn't have a heart attack.
"I couldn't let him bury her, he said she would turn out just like Mama. He made me hit her, he couldn't do it himself, said she needed to learn a lesson. Antwan saw it all, I saw u. Ya know, Grandad said couldn't nobody say what they saw. I could hear the negro spirituals coming across the water. I can't believe when I'd taken u to church u didn't know any. Antwan always thought he was superman, I asked him why did he even bring u back and he said u were too pretty to die, u would never die. Guess what though, he was wrong. Who knew I would see u again. The police questioned us and fed us cokes for days after she'd disappeared, I knew when they said a week later we were free to go I should get into law enforcement, HA!"
Bastard. I paid close attention to every word he spoke as I crawled. Were these his confessions?
"Pam once told me she couldn't allow Nathaniel to disown me, she'd seen us in the corner miles away from Ethel and taken us home. Mama didn't know where she'd left us. She said I looked like him most, and he just hated me more. When he finally showed up at
Pam's, he didn't even recognize me and thought I was Antwan and Tobias' friend. Mama didn't know what happened to us until years later. Nathaniel finally fought for me he needed my name, Mama said she would not allow him to use me and to change my last name if anything ever happened to her---to Myers, she'd married again and allowed him to adopt us. She just couldn't stay clean though and always knew how to get some quick cash. I can't believe he would drive all those miles, he'd gone so fast after the church burned I didn't think he would ever be seen around those parts again. Didn't u get tired of having to look toward the window? I knew with her out of the picture---never mind, it's not important. Funny your old man didn't remember her, but Kerri? She has a dangerous memory, she's detrimental to the scenario. She's better off locked away."
I looked at Trenton as he swayed from side to side. I held the pills in my closed fist and dropped them into his hand. I was having so many mixed emotions but wasn't even afraid for my own life.
"U can think what u want! I loved Trena and a week had been too long, the flies met me as I opened the door. I'd promised her in my heart! She just---gave up on me, like everyone else! I fed it to her anyways! She always liked meatloaf, I had tried! I couldn't let him bury her like Mama, he'd found her and brought her home, he loved her so much. She'd sang bury me under the apple tree growing up, Randy Travis had the song called "Send My Body". When I got old enough I'd done what she asked, I changed my name not knowing about the bonds until my own father said he would kill me. When he said I could pay off the debt by working with Martin, I was all for it. Kev had just died and I had a new chance at life. Until u showed up. A year had gone by, she was still there, it was her home, better than the cold ground. Oh, and the two fetuses looked the same, but that's neither here nor there.
I hadn't meant to interfere with anything he had going, I didn't remember why I'd even killed Terrell but was sure I'd seen something in Redd's phone that triggered an episode. I had even wondered why I hadn't seen him in over 8 months.
"Just please let my sister go, I will do whatever u want!"
"THAT'S ALREADY GONNA HAPPEN! AND SHE'S NOT GOING NOWHERE!!!"
I can't believe I'd trusted him, he had the wool pulled over my eyes. They'd done everything to keep me alive and free, I refused to die at the hands of the nut that was crumbling like a cookie standing before me sweating profusely, I needed to know about my own sister. I held my side, I wasn't well at all and waited to miscarry.
"Why didn't u just go to the police after your Grandad died?"
"Because I loved my brothers too but Tobias wasn't as loyal as Twan was. He became upset---its really none of your damn business, READ THE LETTER!" He was now palming the letter in my face covering my mouth and nose, my face was altogether in so much pain from the backhanded lick he had rendered. I wanted to know if he loved Trenton Jr, if he didn't love anyone else, did he love his children? Even Emily. I looked at the letters, my tears were dripping on top of the others streaks from years before. What I stared at was basically something created, a curriculum and each character signified an alphabet. WHY WAS IT SO IMPORTANT?
"Hathaway always wrote in code, nobody can read it, it's odd that u can. That's the only reason u didn't die the night u were released, well that...and Brown, he always has interfered where he had no business. Lawrence never could stand his guts."
I looked at the letter, and tried to remember what method I'd used to decipher it. I knew he had to have Redd's letters, he'd been in my father's home. What did they say? They were so much older than the one I held. Only I could read them, I assumed. I'd concluded Trenton wasn't a real threat at the moment until he reached inside of the bag, pulled out a revolver and rested it on his knee.
I studied hard, "It takes time! I cant---"
"Read it before I blow the rest of your face off!"
THE REST!
I Read:
"DEAR HAZEL,
I HOPE U ARE DOING FINE SINCE THE LAST TIME I WROTE, I KNOW THINGS ARE HARD BUT WHEN ITS ALL OVER I WILL TAKE THE MONEY RELL LEFT AND FIGHT FOR YOUR FREEDOM. I HOPE U STILL LOVE ME THE SAME, I AM SORRY I GOT U TIED INTO THIS MESS BUT U ARE A SMART BITCH, U KNOW WHAT TO DO. WE DESERVE THE MONEY, IM SENDING JOSH A LETTER, I OPENED AN ACCOUNT AND DEPOSITED A LARGE AMOUNT. WHEN RELL MESSAGED ME AND SAID MEET HIM AT HIS HOTEL ROOM I WONDERED WHY HE NEVER SHOWED, THEY ONLY FOUND US BECAUSE U MESSAGED HIM FROM MY PHONE. EVERYTHING WILL BE OK WE HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO LIVE FOREVER! IM SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT THE BABY, WE WILL HAVE ANOTHER ONE. PLEASE BABY GET ME OUT SO I CAN HELP US, JUST WRITE ME BACK AND CONFESS SO I CAN GET U OUT. THE INSANITY PLEA ALWAYS WORKS."
It was 2018, he'd written the letter in 2007.
After reading the letter and as I wondered if Trenton still had a purpose for me, he raised the gun---"I know where the money is! All of it!" I screamed.
He was unperturbed. "Waaaaaiiiit!" Was I no longer beneficial to him?! As Christy was!
"I love u! We can fix whatever is wrong, just sit down so we can talk, I know u miss them, it's not easy being alone! I had no motive I just wanted to love u! My children loves u, u have us as a family!"
I'd known Troy had to have parked the Chrysler in the thicket, and also if he'd killed Christy, he knew where the dungeon of death I was being held in was. Trenton was clever and wouldn't have brought me there if he knew where it was, would he? Was it a setup? Was he dead? He'd had Troy's phone when the alarm company called. FUCK! I began to cry for them all!
"Sometimes u gotta do shit yourself, Troy is weak like his father. Veronica had more balls than he did. He deserved to be killed on a heist, his own brother set him up."
I was so hungry I told him to please let me eat before I die, anything! I would eat an apple, I hadn't worried about my tooth or the death that circulated through the tree it came from, he'd only eaten off of one. I needed as much time as I could get to picture my babies faces and say bye. He would kill me and get away with it surely.
"Your son will join u soon, I don't know what it is with you whores, give yall the world and u fuck it."
That heartless muthafucka was telling me he would kill me and then kill my son, his own child!
"KILL MEEEE! GO AHEAD! I CANT BELIEVE I TRUSTED U! I HAAAATE U! GO AHEAD, KILL MEEE! U WILL KILL YOUR OWN GRANDFATHER, I KNOW U WILL KILL ME AND MY---"
"I GAVE U A CHANCE! U ARE LIKE THE REST! HE CANT SAVE U THIS TIME! ANTWAN IS DEAD! WHERE IS HEEE! I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANYTHING BUT FINDING MY MONEEEEY!"
I screamed as he tried to squeeze the trigger, but the old revolver jammed, he threw it against the wall and as he leaped toward me out of anger I reached for the syringe and prayed whatever in it would be effective. He laid on top of me with his knee in my thigh, his hand was fumbling for my neck. I patted the cover for the needle and after finding it I closed my eyes tight and stabbed him in the leg he'd been shot in. I had to find my man, sister, nephew, and babies, their lives depended on me. I couldn't let that bitch ass nigga kill me. I screamed in rage as I stabbed him pushed the plunger and let go, his rage was so intense he didn't feel the needle and as he choked me with one hand the syringe fell to the bed, I laid my arm across it and stopped fighting. I soon laid limp.