Troy had given me my phone and Trent's messages were disturbing, I wanted to go home to my children so bad. I had called Kerri but didn't receive an answer. I knew Trenton probably had harassed her because he hadn't known where I was, or did he?
I had a cold, and had practically frozen in the cell. Troy insisted on freezing cold temperatures, I wondered if it was because he was so black. Was he hot all the damn time? I wanted to be at home so bad and looked forward to things being different while I plotted to kill my husband and Ryella's ass too if she didn't like it.
I was tired of being a nice bitch but Trenton knew how I moved, it was as if he had studied me. I soon concluded he would be an easy target if he hadn't known my where abouts.
When Terrica had come back to the home the morning after I was released I was asleep in Troy's bed. He had gotten me drunk and left. I remembered seeing a soft side of him and wondered what made him so stiff. I couldn't figure him out but knew his dominance was capable of overpowering my better judgement. I mean I wasn't no weak bitch, I had plenty chances to shoot that nigga. He didn't seem like a threat and had said whatever shit I had got in, I needed to get out of it and the shit I was in was pretty deep. Why couldn't he just tell me what was going on?! I was tired of trying to figure things out, I wasn't getting younger and I wanted to live for my children but I knew I was blindly in danger.
Terrica had apparently been calling Troy's phone and he was ignoring her calls. I had felt her presence in the room and thought it was Troy so I didn't move I only laid there almost wishing he would get in bed. He didn't sleep at night but slept all day, it was only 4 a.m. so it was just wishful thinking. I was tired of being alone. After she spoke I sat up alarmed, I could tell she had been crying. I turned to see her lashes coming unglued and she even looked shorter than I remembered because she was barefooted. "How long yall been fucking? I just want the truth,"
I showed her my ring and said I was married and Troy was just a friend. "I know him! U not just laying in his bed for nothing!" She was crying now, the tone of her voice was sharp, she was hurt. I thought about getting up looking for my keys but as soon as I threw back the covers she said, "U in your panties in my man bed and yall aint fucking?! GET THE FUCK UP, I BOUGHT THEM SHEETS!"
I saw hurt turn to rage. I didn't give a fuck how mad she was, I knew she better have good sense. She had hit everything in the room except me, and stormed out. I was laying in that nigga's bed and she had no understanding. We hadn't even fucked, well not that night! I didn't want her man! Troy played too many game and she could have him! What had he done to that bitch!
I listened for her car door to close but it hadn't, I got up got dressed and texted Troy, "U better come get this crazy bitch before I fold her up!"
He texted back, "Just chill, I'm coming. U better not leave!" He was fucking retarded, I wasn't no side bitch, I kept telling him, fuck them both! I knew that nigga wasn't shit, I was mad at him and adamant about leaving! I was having flashbacks of being in the relationship with Redd when he was with Shameka and refused to go through that shit again, and Terrica was just plain dumb!
As I pack my shit three times Troy turned in the driveway, I looked out of the window and saw Terrica's Nissan still out there. I saw Troy get out of the car, leave the door open and then heard her screaming at him, "How could u do this to me? I HATE U! DON'T COME BACK AROUND MY KIDS!" I knew he grabbed her, "LET ME GO MAKIL! She screamed." I then heard them tussling and her muffled cries. Finally her door closed, I saw her lights shine inside the bedroom window as she backed out of the driveway and sped away. I waited for Troy to close his car door but instead I heard the front door open, "Come on Hazel!" he yelled coming through the front room. I was already dressed and when he saw I was gathering my shit he got angry! "WHY THE FUCK U KEEP PLAYING WITH ME?"
Von stood in the door, "Kill what's going on?" He said nothing.
His shirt was ripped and he held a broken chain in his hand. "I'm not about to be in the midst of no drama with u and your bitch."
"Yea, ok," he said while laying the chain on the nightstand, taking off his shirt and removing the slippers he had on. He then silently changed shirts and put on Jordans." I knew he was fucked up by the way he tried to maintain his balance. After changing he walked toward me and said," Let's go."
"I'm not going anywhere," I said. I was so scared of that nigga's teeth, I looked away before I said it. "I ain't got time for this shit Hazel," he was in my face and the liquor and weed was strong!
"U don't even need to be driving," I said.
He grabbed me by my neck and said, "She called the fucking police! COME ON!"
Oh. Well in that case---
I grabbed my bag and asked where my keys were because I was leaving, I needed to go home. He grabbed my face as if to get my undivided attention, "U not fucking leaving me! Shut the fuck up! Let's go!"
I saw that nigga was dead serious about not giving me my keys and got upset, I was ready to fight that nigga myself. He stood and looked at me, preparing to pick me up, I grabbed my bag, phone and charger and followed him out of the door. It reminded me of the night I left Pam's house with Twan, I instantly got sad. We got inside and drove away toward the interstate. The music was on, he turned it off and lit a blunt that looked like he had just rolled.
He tried to pass it to me, I slapped his hand and knocked the cherry on the floor. That pissed him off! He took the next exit, pulled over, got out and opened my door. We were sitting at in a hotel parking lot. "I'm not going in there, u can't make me stay with u!"
At that point I looked frightened, he asked "U scared of me?"
I couldn't even answer, he closed my door and got back inside. We pulled off and exited off of I20 on 149. Something told me we were headed toward Keithville.
"U pissing me off, thinking I will hurt u," he said while relighting the blunt.
"I KNOW U WILL!" I said rubbing his bite mark. He just smirked. "Im in love with your imperfections, like those cuts across your stomach and that scar on your head."
That nigga was drunk and talking crazy and I wanted out of that car. At least I knew my way around Keithville I thought to myself. "Where are we going," I demanded to know. He ignored me. I had a head cold and was not for his bullshit!
He shouldn't just ignore me! "WHERE ARE WE GOING MAKIL?!" I asked picking up his blunt from the ashtray. "Just ride," he said. I was fed up with that nigga, I had no more clean clothes, no money and was hungry as hell---again. I didn't enjoy not being able to feed myself.
He turned on a street I was familiar with, somehow, and as he drove I saw a nice subdivision but could tell there was no outlet! I got nervous, he was about to kill me! I had been tricked. It was getting darker and I couldn't see an outlet! A dead end with big houses, they would never find me out there! I fumbled in my bag for my phone, I needed to talk to Kerri! I loved her, Ayden, Mama and OH! MY BABIES! I was scared shitless and couldn't remember The Lord's Prayer! Grandma Hazel Mae! I'm coming! That nigaa wasn't slowing down, we were in a dark ass Cul de Sac! He had turned on the music and Trey Songz was singing the same dreadful song he was the night Redd and I got arrested, Neighbor's Know My Name! That was the song of doom, "Shit, this nigga bout to bury me alive back here, Diedre what the fuck we gone do? That nigga came and got us to kill us!"
"Girl----what the fuck is wrong with u, get out." We had stopped.
We sat in a circle driveway at---VERONICA'S HOUSE? WHAT THE FUCK?
"Unh unnnnh----I mean, um, ooh wee."
"Get ya silly ass---"
"Nigga don't call me silly no more!"
"Well get ya deranged ass out!"
I refused to go in that home! I couldn't! Christy had killed Veronica and----
OH SHIT!
"Come on, we can stay here, I won't leave u, just get out, I'm tired."
"NO!"
"WHY NOT?!"
"Whose home?"
"MINE! GET THE FUCK OUT BEFORE I DRAG U OUT! WHY U SO MUTHAFUCKING STUBBORN?! GET OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT!"
"Unh unh."
"Ok."
He opened his door walked to the door of the home, reached in his pocket, retrieved a second set of keys and unlocked it. When I saw how fast he was walking back to the car I decided I'd better get my ass out. I knew that nigga would kill me and he knew damn well he hadn't bought that lovely ass home Veronica lived in.
The odd part about it was the door was open and I could see inside, it still looked the same. I could see the Steinway Piano straight ahead in the room with the brass soldiers. How many people had he killed to be able to afford it if it was his! I knew my ass was grass and accepted it as I walked inside. He just looked upside my head in disgust. Maybe he was angry enough for it to be quick and I wouldn't suffer.
I walked inside and a cold chill consumed me.
He turned around after I made it inside, returned to his car for my bag and his weed. That was a beautiful home, even more than Christy's had been. He told me to sit down, I was obedient than a muthafucka now. He moved around like it was definitely his home. There were pictures of a little girl that decorated the walls and living room fireplace, I wondered if it was his daughter, she looked just like him. He had only said Terrica couldn't have his kids.
"U hungry?" he asked.
"Nope," I lied.
"Well U can make breakfast if u are."
I said nothing, he walked away. I heard the water come on and as soon as I began to try to remember how to get back to the highway he walked to the alarm keypad and armed the home. "If she comes out here, she going to jail," he said before telling me to take off my clothes.
"Nope, I'm good." I said.
"Fuck u," he said," Im done."
He walked inside of the bathroom and closed the door as I sat scared shitless in that dead woman's home, she had died in the fucking bedroom! I could see inside of it, the door was OPEN! I was waiting for that bitch to get up and walk to that door, I was telling Deidre to shut the fuck up when Troy opened the door in his boxers and flew at me. I tried to get up, but I just started screaming, "DON'T KILL ME, IM SORRY!"
"GIRL SHUT THE FUCK UP AND COME ON! IM TIRED OF PLAYING WITH U! IMA TIE YA ASS UP!"
WRONG ANSWER---
That nigga picked me up while I fought ripping off my clothes, I was so turned on by his dominance, I had heat all in my belly while I tasted fear. That thug love shit was---I couldn't resist that nigga and probably would have let him violently kill me. I remembered the sensations I would feel when I touched his bruises, I would almost cum. What had he done to me? He sat me on a chaise that was inside the bathroom and finished removing my clothes. With the bright lighting he could see every stretch mark, every wound and as he rubbed my wrinkled belly he was getting hard. "Get in the tub, he said.
"I don't wanna---!"
He threatened to pick me up so I told him I would. He wanted to drown me! That's it and I had never considered dying that way. Well only once---
He sat down after me, I couldn't marvel over his body for the thought that had occurred.
My breath immediately became trapped in my throat as I sat in the water, "U ok? U look like u saw a ghost...can I kiss u without u becoming all dramatic."
I was froze with some kind of fear, but didn't exactly know why.
He kissed me while I sat dazed, and said, "U not going to resist me?"
I was so dumbfounded at that moment it was as if I had awakened from a dream but couldn't remember it. I felt his tongue between my lips and smelled his liquor. "U wanna smoke?" he asked. I said yea, I needed to think. He reached for the blunt that was in the ashtray on the floor and lit it before relaxing beside me in the water. He reminded me of Twan so fucking much, their personalities were a lot alike. "When is your birthday I eventually asked while observing how he had relaxed when I had."
"It passed when u were locked up, July 4th."
"Oh, Well Happy Birthday," I said.
I was still uneasy and felt like he would kill me. I accepted my fate, I was beginning to learn things about myself just from one thought.
Extremely happy to see Dove soap he could tell, and he insisted on bathing me, I knew he wanted to fuck but it was impossible for me to even be turned on I thought, until he scuba dived underneath the bubbling water, I had momentarily forgot my thoughts and became so entranced by that nigga. I allowed him to fuck me senseless in the water and carry me the bed Veronica his mother had died in.
I canopy drapes swayed from our movement, the thug passion was unreal because their capabilities are always underestimated. I found out he had the most love to give underneath the alternate persona. Kill was as gentle and innocent as his pop warner pictures.
Christy had killed his mother and I knew he had to have known, he grieved her and I could tell. My fear turned to sorrow, my passion became consolation. I internally begged for aggression but received mercy. His chocolate strokes were deep but tender and his whispers heightened my drive, "Please pull out," I managed to say while he tightly restrained my legs.
He just kept going and said nothing. He had the tendency to overpower my mindstate, I waited for him to pull the trigger, he just came, flipped me over and entered me again.