"Could you fucking stop that?" Bobo asked irritably. I cackled as he glared at me. He was so hypersensitive. I mean sure I was pulling at his forearm hairs to torture him, but it couldn't hurt that bad.
"What's wrong bobo?" I replied snickering. I figured If I was in hell he should be too.
"I told you to stop that shit. You love giving names, I should give you one and see how you like it."
"You don't have the moxie or creativity to give me one. Don't exhaust yourself old man."
"Either I give you a nickname or I start calling you 'stupid' since you won't tell me your name with your 'wHy Do yOu NeEd tO kNoW' headass. "
"My name is Nkiruka." I rolled my eyes.
"I'm Ade. I knew you were Nigerian, you definitely have the forehead."
"Ion know why you're smiling, next to me you look like Jay Z next to Bey."
"Aww so we're a power couple"
"If you want your "friend" to kill you, sure."
"He can try to kill me all he wants. I'll just hide in your forehead creases, out here lookin like Squidwar- ow! Really?" he rubbed his shin.
"Whoops! Sorry, my foot slipped. You good?" I asked sweetly. "Anyways, I'm bored. Entertain me."
"Fine, what do you want to do besides abusing me?" he sighed like he was the victim in all this.
"Aren't you supposed to be like, holding me prisoner and torturing me and shit?"
"You're dumb for asking but keeping annoying people prisoner is a lot of work. My payroll is too high for this bullshit. Just choose a tv show and stop nagging me and we'll be fine."
"Lazy ass."
"Whatever, since you don't know how to just give simple answers, we can watch family guy."
"The Simpsons is better."
"The Simpsons doesn't have Stewie, check and mate."
"Stewie has been deteriorating since the second or third season when they started to get rid of the evil baby plotline. Plus, Family Guy doesn't have Homer."
"Stewie is still witty and mean. Homer is just an idiot."
"So are you."
"Get out of my face." He turned on family guy and I stuck out my tongue and crossed my arms on the corner of the couch. All of a sudden I plummeted to the floor. If it wasn't for all the pillows below me it would've actually hurt.
"You seem pressed." he announced.
"Okay and why does that call for me being pushed off the couch?"
"It wiped the frown off your face."
I huffed and jumped on to the couch theatrically making sure to hit his stupid leg with my heel upon landing. We binged family guy, then the Simpsons per my demand. That show was my guilty pleasure when I was upset, it comforted me. I used to watch it with my parents when I was little. Everything from that time is laced in nostalgia for me. It was before they started working constantly, before I lost my innocence. Since I felt less comfortable than ever, something as simple as watching reruns of this old show made me feel warm inside. Afterwards we watched a couple thriller movies, which should have been contradictory, but I giggled hysterically the whole time. My life was now a horror movie and I had no fears left. Let the demons and serial killers come and take me as long as I'm not next to Ximenes in hell. By the time Mr. Delusional was on his way home I had actually survived my first day of kidnapping so far without any suicidal thoughts. Murderous yes, but not yet suicidal! The fact that I had a fully stocked closet all in my size, all of my exact beauty products, books, and knick knacks from home helped. It was creepy, but convenient. I'll be sure to take some clothes when I escape and donate everything to charity. I am no one's possession and my kidnapping was at no point a game to me. Freedom was the goal, with no compromises. I only hoped I could kill the delusional idiot before I escaped and burned everything he built to the ground. I considered sparing the other one, purely because I thought it'd be fun to torture him. So far he and I had spent 15 hours straight together. I was kidnapped around three pm, out for fourteen hours and met him around six am. It was now nine pm and I didn't feel sleep coming any time soon. While I'm not shy, I dislike humans and had never spent that much time alone with any person, ever. It surprised me immensely that I still felt no inclination to murder Ade - sadly. When I heard a car pulling into the driveway I tugged Ade by his shirt and looked at him with the biggest puppy dog eyes I've ever given.
"Can you please tell Hoemines that I'm sick?" I asked with a voice sweeter than honey.
"Why would I do that?" he shot back flatly.
"Because you feel like it?"
"Fine. But you're gonna find a way to put me in control of the finance department of the company."
"How would I do that exactly?"
"You're smart enough to figure it out."
"You right." I replied with a grin and began my sprint upstairs. I darted into the room Ade said was "mine", hurriedly changed into sweats, then scrambled to the bathroom. I splashed almost scalding hot water on my face to make it look red, and used the same temperature water on my lips, then patted them dry making sure they looked chapped and pale. I then dove into the bed ,nestling myself and coughing dramatically when I heard steps come up the stairs. When the door creeped open I fake sniffled and did a big sneeze for dramatic effect. Footsteps crept up to my bed and I continued acting until I heard a chuckle. A familiar chuckle.
"If you don't stop with your theatrical dumbass." Once he spoke I realized it wasn't the voice that made me shiver..it was just the one that made my blood boil...
"The fuck do you want Ade?"
"Ximenes left because he didn't want to catch whatever 'disease' you have and left me to deal with your annoying ass. To be honest he's probably just fucking his side bitch.. I came to tell you but I see you already started the show." he looked incredibly amused.
"Shut up. Let's watch something, I can't sleep anyway."
"This is unhealthy. It's been hours since you last slept."
"And what about it?"
"Alright fine, but I want the bed, you can sleep on the floor."
"Ain't this my room?"I raised a brow
"So you're accepting life here now and claiming a room in Ximenes' house? Hmm sounds like the beginnings of stockholm to me..."
"Get yourself comfortable on the floor and stop playing with me before I step on you."