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Samantha's POV
Blake hasn't been in school this whole week; I was starting to get worried.
I finally decided how I actually felt about him and now I can't even tell him because I don't know where the hell he is.
"Hello? Earth to Samantga?" Adam said as he waved his hands in front of my face.
"I thought you were done with the whole zoning out and ignoring the world phase?" Adam asked.
"I am." I answered as I opened the door to my locker.
"Then what was I saying?" Adam asked as he crossed his arms and looked at me impatiently.
"Uhm that im an amazing friend?" I asked with a smile.
"Yeah, no."
"If it makes you feel better I was thinking about Blake. I lied to him and I told him I didn't love him, and now I think I do and I want to tell him." I said.
"OH MY GOD! I knew it! That's great im happy for you!" Adam said.
"Yeah it would be great if I could find him and tell him" I said as I banged my head against my locker.
"Stop hitting the pretty little head of yours. You will find him soon don't worry sweetie" Adam said as he held be back from hitting my head.
"I hope so."
"Come on honey bunches of oats, let's grab Aya and have a girl's day." Adam said as grabbed my hand to go meet Bella.
"Yes perfect a girl's day, because we need to go shopping for Brandon's party on Sunday." Aya said looking at Adam.
"What?" I asked confused.
"Brandon Mitchell's party is on Sunday, he's rich and his parties are amazing and we need to look HOT! So Adam, you, and I are going shopping."
"I don't know Aya I don't think im really up to a party" I said.
"Pish posh, you have to come pweeese!" Aya said begging.
"Ugh I guess." I said.
"Yay! Leggo!" Aya said grabbing me and Adam by the hand.
"Aya you look like a hooker." Adam said, as Aya came out with a neon yellow dress with cutouts by the stomach.
"Ugh!" She groaned, as she went back into the dressing room to try on another dress.
"Samantha get your ass in there and try on these dresses." Adam said handing me a load full of dress.
"Okay." I said with a sigh.
"How about this one" I heard Aya ask as I looked through the dresses.
"This is way too pink Adam!" I said throwing one of the dresses over the top of the door.
"Aya try on another one, that makes you look fat. Sam, pink is pretty!" Adam said.
"You're annoying!" I said back trying on one of the dresses.
I didn't even look at myself in the mirror; all I knew was the dress was black.
"How's this one?" I asked Adam as I stepped out of the dressing room rolling my eyes.
"Oh my god! Sam, that's perfect!" Adam shouted
I turned around to look in the mirror, and I surprised myself. The dress was black low cut, and had ruffles with fringes. Normally I would think it was too much but no not now, I was falling in love with this dress.
"Sam, I love it!" Aya shouted "Me too!" I said happily.
"Aya that dress is amazing, buy that one!" I said looking at her. She was wearing a dress that was pink sequin on top, and black on the bottom.
"Okay you guys look amazing, buy them and let's go eat!" Adam said.
By the time I got home it was 8pm, I looked at the house next door to see if I saw Blakes bike, but It wasn't there. I walked inside disappointed, to find Kiesha sitting on the couch watching television.
"Hey Kiesha aren't you supposed to be working?" I asked, putting my shopping bag down on the table.
"Im going at midnight. So we can have some quality bonding time." She said with a smile. I was glad to spend some time with Kiesha.
We ended up watching the notebook, and it ended with us crying our eyes out.
"Alright honey I got to go to work, Kiefer will be home soon I think but call me if you need anything." Kiesha said as she grabbed her jacket and left.
I let out a sigh and continued to watch TV. I flipped through the channels and nothing was on, I was beyond bored.
I got out my phone texting Kiefer asking where he was.
'Be home late don't wait up xo- Kiefer' he replied.
Great.
I wanted and needed to talk to Blake, where was he?
I couldn't wait any longer, I didn't care how stupid I was going to look but I needed to know what is going on.
I locked the front door and walked next door knocking on the door.
"Hey Samantha. How can I help you?" He asked politely.
Every time I was around Alex he didn't seem very fond of me so seeing him now being nice I was actually shocked.
"Uhm is Blake home?" I asked.
"Nope, he hasn't been home since Sunday."
Alex said.
"Oh, okay thanks anyway." I said disappointed turning around to go back home.
"Uhm wait! Do you want to come inside? I know your home alone and that can't be fun" He said.
"How do you know?" I asked as I turned around.
"Don't worry I got my ways." He said as I followed him inside.
"Can I get you anything?" Alex asked as I sat on the couch.
"Uhm no im good." I replied.
"Why are you being so nice? I really thought you hated me." I blurted out.
"Yeah sorry about that. I really don't hate you, it's just the times you've seen me I wasn't in the best mood." He replied.
"Oh." I said
"You must be really special Samantha." Alex said.
"Why?" I asked puzzled.
"Never in my life have I seen my brother actually take the time to get to know a girl until he met you." He said.
As soon as he said that I felt like my heart was going to explode. I thought about everything I ever said to him, and I regretted it all. I couldn't wait to talk to him about everything. Finally let myself open up to some and possibly love them. I felt like it was actually okay to believe in love, to be happy because of love
"What's wrong?" he asked
"Uhm nothing." I said, not wanting to talk about it with Blake's brother.
"Well you could talk to me if you want, I'll listen" He said with a smile that made me want to tell him my deepest darkest secrets.
"Uhm okay well it's about Blake." I said, and he just nodded.
"He told me he loved me, and I lied to him and told him that I didn't love him, but I think I do. I never actually believed in love before. I used to think it was just a way to get your heart broken. I was scared of getting hurt." I said.
"I could understand why you would be scared, especially with my brother." He said.
"Yeah. But now I realized that I should take a risk, and not be afraid of love." I said.
Me and Alex talked for another 2 hours. I was really comfortable with him. He seemed like a very scary tough person when I met him, but now he was the exact opposite.
We talked about everything. There was never a dull moment between me and him. I even explained more about me and Blake's relationship, he even told me about his own relationship fails.
"Oh my god it's like 2:30am" I said.
"Really?" He asked checking his watch.
"Kiefer's probably still not home, if he was he would of called me by now." I said.
Before Alex could respond, I heard the sound of keys jiggling at the front door, and giggling.
I looked at Alex questioningly to which he responded with a shrug.
"Come in baby." I heard as the door opened revealing Blake with some blonde in a short dress.
"Shush." He said as he stumbled in with the girl behind him.
Before Blake realized Alez and I sitting on the couch, he took the girls face in his and crashed his lips into hers kissing her.
I couldn't believe what I was seeing; I was so stupid to believe that we could actually be together. All my hopes and ideas about love just crashed into a million pieces.
Alex cleared his throat which made Blake look up at us surprised.
"What's she doing here?" he mumbled.
The girl behind him was drunk and I knew he was a little tipsy.
"I....I..." I stuttered not even knowing what to say.
I couldn't even form words, let alone think of them.
"What are you here to beg for more? Sorry honey that ship has sailed. I moved on to bigger and better."
I stood there in awe, not believing that this was happening.
"Surprised? I gave you your shot you blew it. But you were right anyway we would have never worked out, I like banging chicks way too much, and I'd never give it up for some tease." He said
I didn't even know how to react. I kept hoping this was a dream, cause when I finally let myself open up to the idea of love and this happens, it just seems impossible.
"Yup, I don't know what I was thinking before. I had to bang a few chicks to knock some sense into me." He slurred.
My heart stopped for a moment. Why was this happening? Why was he doing this to me?
"The fuck was so much better then -" Blake said before he was interrupted by Alex.
"Blake, shut up!" Alex growled.
"Why? Gotta thing for the chick Alex? You could have her, but let me tell you she isn't worth it."
I couldn't take it anymore. I could feel the tears filling my eyes.
"Aw, the poor baby is crying." He said coming closer.
I refused to look at him any longer;
I didn't need to take this abuse. I let myself open up, wanting to give love a chance, and in matter of 5 minutes my heart was crushed.
I did my best to ignore the sinking feeling in my chest.
I didn't think my legs would be able to move so I was surprise when I stepped forward. I pushed past Blake and the girl that was leaning against the wall and walked through the door leaving him to do what he wanted.
That was the reason I didn't allow myself to love anyone.
I was afraid of that happening.
I knew Blake was drunk, but I didn't care. There are things that you don't say to another person that you were supposedly in love with, drunk or sober.
He knew how I felt and knew exactly what to say to crush the last emotional piece of me.
I ran inside, went up and laid in my bed. Letting the tears pour from eyes.
I couldn't believe I actually thought that I could ever love him.
The ache inside my chest grew and grew, the feeling was plain torture.
That was it, I was done taking chances, and I was done with love.
****
Blake's POV
I woke up with a pounding headache. My eyes fluttered opened, and I looked around realizing I was in my bed.
I did my best to ignore the pounding in my head, and tried to remember what happened last night.
I remember bringing some girl home.
Automatically I turned to see if someone was lying next to me, but the space was empty.
I remember seeing Samantha, saying some stuff, her leaving, and Alex screaming something.
What happened?
All I knew was whatever happened probably wasn't good.
I willed myself out of the bed and made my way into the kitchen, pouring myself some coffee.
"You're an asshole, you know that?" I heard Alex say from behind me, anger filled in each word.
"Yeah I know. What happened last night?" I asked.
"You don't remember? Of course you don't you were completely wasted." Alex said anger rising in his voice.
"Keep it down, hung over remember?" I said taking a sip of my coffee.
Alex just shook his head, disappoinment etched clearly on his face.
"Samantha came over last night to tell you she loved you!" Alex screamed.
Once I heard that everything from last night replayed in my head.
"What are you here to beg for more? Sorry honey that ship has sailed. I moved on to bigger and better."
I saw her face fall in shock; I just took advantage of it.
"Surprised? I gave you your shot you blew it. But you were right anyway we would have never worked out, I like banging chicks way too much, and I'd never give it up for some tease." I said.
Another lie.
"Yup, I don't know what I was thinking before. I had to hang a few chicks to knock some sense into me." I slurred.
Which was a lie, I tried multiple times to have sex with other girls but my friend down there wasn't cooperating. All I kept thinking about was Samantha; all I wanted to do was be with Samantha. But that didn't mean I didn't do anything with the girls, they probably did more than me...
"Blake, shut up!" Alex growled, as I was beginning to say something that would bother Samantha.
"Why? Gotta thing for that chick Alex? You could have her, but let me tell you she isn't worth it." Again another lie, I knew Alex was just being a human being, but I didn't care.
My drunken thoughts couldn't comprehend anything other than the girl who broke my heart standing right in front of me.
"Aw, the poor baby is crying."
"Oh my god." I said as my whole world came crashing down.
I knew I ruined everything.
In that moment I was so angry, I paced back and forth in the kitchen. In my head repeating to myself how I messed this up.
I couldn't take it I felt all my anger at myself explode, causing me to punch the nearest thing, and punching the wall.
I knew the walls were strong; I've tried multiple times to punch these walls. I did more damage to myself than the wall.
I ignored the pain that was surging through my hand and placed my attention back on Alex.
"What did she tell you?" I shouted at Alex angrily.
"She said that at first she was scared to let herself love you, she didn't want to get hurt. But something happened where she realized that she shouldn't be afraid of love that she was taking a risk but it was worth it. Bro, she said she knew you loved her and she felt bad for not giving you chance." Alex said with sympathy in his eyes, but I knew the sympathy was for Samantha and I understood why.
"Shit..." I said as I leaned against the wall sliding down to sit on the floor.
What have I done?