The spoon that was in Jae I's hand came clattering down with her plate, these simple riddled words fell on her ears and for some reason, she could process them without a problem.
"What are you talking about, mother?" Jae I said placing her hand on the wooden dining table for support.
"I thought that you are more clever than this, Jae I," the queen said with a tsk at the end of her disappointed words.
"Mother, please," Jae I begged closing her eyes, her hands were now both into fists on the table, she could feel her nails digging harshly into the balm of her hand. It was an attempt to keep the last bit of respect she had for the woman who brought her into this world.
"I was going to fasten up the process of making Joon Wo the crown prince, but that arrogant ignorant brat had to step in in the last minute and ruin what I've been working on for months now," the queen said setting the silverware in her hands down. "I was given an opportunity in a bowl of gold and that arrogant boy ruined it all!" her hand came crashing down on the wooden table, shaking the silverware that was atop it.
Jae I couldn't utter a single word of complaining or protest, her head blanks with astonishment of how her mother lost the last shred of humanity she had in her.
Or was it long lost and she refused to see it? she couldn't tell for sure.
"You were trying to kill my brother – no our brother!?" Jae I said not caring of keeping her tone down, she looked at her brother who was now staring at her with nothingness in his eyes. "What in the world did you make him do, mother!"
"You are making such a commotion over the life of a mere maid," the queen scoffed.
This time it was Jae I's clenched fists that met the smooth wood on the table harshly. "What've you done!"
"What have you done! If you wanted your little rat to die then you should've used one of your pawns! Why did you've to ruin him!" she continued her voice was a yell of pain, she got off her chair and hurried along with the table to the other side to grab her younger brother's face in her balm.
"Min-ah," she called out to him in a small voice. "Look at Noona, eh?" she smiled at her brother in pain with tears falling down her face.
"Why are you crying, Noona?" he blankly replied looking up at his sister's wrecked face. "Don't cry."
"Where can I find such a perfect pawn, eh? Someone who can't even utter a single word because we are all in the same boat," the queen said, not affected by the scene in front of her whatsoever, a block of ice in the middle of winter.
"You are going to pay for this! You are going to pay for making our lives hell on earth!" Jae I said. For the first time in her life, she lost control over her temper. She was always the well-mannered young princess, the one who could always fake a smile and agree with whatever her father and mother said in an attempt to keep their favor.
But no more. She won't hold it anymore, not when her precious brother's soul is being torn apart to pieces right before her eyes. Min Jun was like the bright sun in their lives, always full of warmth and gentleness that nobody could imagine. His pure gentle soul had no place in this wrecked palace, it should take no part in this hell. His place was out there with people he loves, exploring the vast lands on earth.
"Eh? You are going to complain to His Majesty? Band me and you along with your brothers as traitors and have us hanged and if the king is lenient on us he would banish us from the country?" The queen said, her voice roaring like thunder through the room, not allowing any disrespect towards her, even from her own daughter.
Jae I agreed with her mother, she can't just go speak her heart out to the king, that would be suicide and she would kill two innocent souls along with her. In the past, she always knew that Joon Wo could always handle their mother, he knew when to repeal, and when to be his mama's boy. On the other hand, Min Jun was not like him. He was always the abandoned son of their mother and there was nothing he or anyone else could do.
She tightened the grip on her brother's shoulder. "I resent you, mother. You are never going to get what you want! Joon Wo will never allow that!" She murmured firmly while returning her mother's deadly glare. She grabbed her brother's arm and dragged out of the room making sure to slam the door behind her sending echos down the door.
The walk back as she escorted her brother to his room was quiet, she could easily drag him behind her despite their difference in size. She could feel the bones poking out of his arms in her grip.
'He got so thin,' she thought which made her heart sting from pain.
Once they were inside the room, she secured the door shut and led the poor boy to his bed and caught his face between her warm balms making him look at her. "Min-ah, speak to me, are you okay?" she said softly stroking his hair in the familiar way he loved which worked making him turn his vision towards her.
"The smell won't go, Noona," he said. She could see the sparkle of life returning to his eyes.
"What smell?" She said.
"The smell of blood, it won't go no matter how hard I tried to wash it off," he said. His voice so small in a cry. He took his first human soul, he never thought that he could do such a thing. He always wondered how his brothers did this all the time but he kept telling himself that it must be because they are protecting the people, they are killing the bad people, right?
'I killed a person who deserved to die, right?' that thought kept running lose in his mind, it was the only thing he could think of since that night. That dark gloomy night.
"Please! Please, Your Highness!"
"I'm sorry, it's for Hyung," his words from that night kept replaying over and over again in his head like a sick nightmare. The sword slashing through the flesh in her throat, sending spatters of blood over his clothes and the dirty floor. The golden beads that were dangling down from the silk belt wrapped around his waist shining under the moonlight.
The soft ticklish feeling he felt on his cheeks made him snap out of that nightmare and look up at his sister whose tears were falling slowly down her cheeks to land on his. Not long after that were both their tears mixed together on his cheeks.
"I'm so sorry, Min-ah," she said, not knowing why she was apologizing but she had no words to comfort her brother's broken brother. "Noona will make sure that you never go through something like that again." She continued promising, placing a kiss on his forehead.
"Tomorrow we will talk about everything and you've to tell your brother everything too," she sniffed looking him in the eyes.
"B-but that will only make him mad at me," he said in a small voice barely audible in the room.
"No, you idiot! He loves you, he'll never be mad at you. It wasn't your fault, Min-ah," she said making sure that it came out as confident and firm as she wanted it to be.
"What should I do about the smell, I reak of blood," he said looking down to his hands.
"Min-ah," she said squatting down low to look at her brother who sat on the bed. "It's not your hands that the blood is on, it's mother's fault. Yes, you killed someone but it's not like you wanted it or did it for fun, you can repent for this sin, Min-ah. You are a good boy who was always so gentle and warm, I'm sure the gods will let this one mistake slide." She held his hand firmly in her grip, wishing that he is getting the sincerity of her words and feelings.
"What in the world did she make you do to turn out like this?" she mumbled scanning his body that was clearly thinner than it was, the dark circles under his eyes that ruined his pretty face.
"I'll tell you," he sighed taking a deep breath trying to gather himself together, deciding that he will no longer cry over this, he had to take action and he had to say his opinion out loud and he shouldn't do things that he thinks are wrong.
He decided to follow in his older brother's footsteps. Protect the weak and repent for the sin that will forever be with him