Saive lay with his head on the cold toilet seat. He was pretty sure he had thrown up all there was to throw up, because now he was only dry gagging. He abs hurt from all his retching and his head was spinning. He didn't know how much longer his body was going to hold out.
He flinched weakly when the door to the bathroom burst open. Roenan was standing in a Vernajjian school uniform and he had a dried cut on his cheekbone. He looked like he had sprinted the length of the room to get there.
"What?" Saive ask weakly as he studied Roenan in his uniform. "Take that thing off and burn it." He added, his cheek squished against the toilet seat.
Roenan threw his hand over his heart and let out a pent up breath as he closed his eyes. "I thought they'd taken you again." He breathed.
"They don't have to be in the same room as you to torture you." Saive said. Roenan walked over to him and squatted down. His chocolate-brown hair had gotten longer and it was wavy around his face. His caramel and silver eyes looked a little red like he had been crying, and he had a swollen cheek under his eye.
"Did your date go that bad?" He asked before he dry-gagged and aimed his mouth for the toilet bowl, just in case.
"It wasn't a date. And what did you mean by that?" Roenan asked.
"By what?" Saive asked back.
"About the torture thing."
"They're giving me bad food." Saive said. His voice echoed around the bowl.
"Are you serious?" Roenan exclaimed. "How long have you been sick?!"
"I think they spread out the bad meals so it doesn't kill me." Saive sat up and sqeezed his eyes in pain as he stretched his side.
"This isn't right. You're already skin and bones. I'm sharing my food with you from now on. Don't touch yours." Roenan told Saive.
"What, were you expelled already?" Saive asked, gesturing to Roenan's uniform suit. "You won't be here starting tomorrow. I'm on my own."
Roenan had almost forgotten. "That's fine, I'll have Drakke bring you food."
"You didn't take my advice, did you?" Saive asked rhetorically. He was hoping the pink eyes and wet lashes meant that he'd broke off the bond the two were creating. Saive shook his head in disapproval. "He's got you right where he wants you."
"I trust him." Roenan said.
"And I trust that they're about to come in here and let me walk free in a few minutes." Saive mocked.
"Just because you're in a shitty mood, doesn't mean that you have to be insufferable every waking second." Roenan snapped.
Saive looked at him, incredulously. "I'm being tortured and poisoned almost every day. I've earned my right to have a shitty fucking attitude." Saive snapped back. "Do you need to piss or not?" He added angrily.
"Yeah." Roenan admitted. He was flicking at the corner of a piece of paper in this hand.
"Then hurry up so I can have my 'pillow' back." Saive wobbled as he got to his feet. He shot Roenan a warning look when he looked like he was about to move to help steady him. He exited the bathroom to let Roenan do his business.
Saive sat on the edge of his bed and looked down at his frail fingers. He was skin and bones. He was sickly and pale. And he knew that they were still probably going to throw him into boot camp with Roenan starting tomorrow. They wanted it to be painful for him. They wanted him to hurt, and scream, and cry. They wanted to break him until he offered them everything he knew and became a valuable asset to them. Everything he'd sworn an oath to protect. So they could finally get what they want and discard his lifeless body in a pit.
He wondered what form of torture they hadn't tried on him, if there were any left. His mind was breaking. He was blacking out more frequently than he ever had. He hardly remembered what he did in those stages. He was losing control of his mind and now his body.
And his thoughts, they scared him. He had been trained on methods to help keep suicidal thoughts at bay, but he struggled to fight them. He was growing tired. Was it really worth living this life when he could just end it and rest forever? He'd never had a proper childhood. He was orphaned before he could remember his parents and had been sent into training from the start. He was a born a destined spy. That's what his country needed him to be, and that's what he wanted to be for his country. The memories of others like him that he met during his life-long training kept a little life thriving in him. He wasn't alone in this pain. He thought about them when he felt close to giving up.
He heard Roenan throw up into the toilet before flushing it. "Get your own toilet." Saive told Roenan as he shuffled into the bathroom.
Roenan looked up at him miserabley.
"The alcohol here is horrible. Don't try it." Roenan said as he pushed himself back up, flushing the toilet and wiping his mouth.
"I don't drink." Saive said.
"Good for you." Roenan responded.
Saive couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or if he was impressed. Roenan shuffled past him for the door and left to go lie on his bed. Saive sat down next the toilet for ten more minutes before he was convinced he wasn't going to be sick again and went to go lie in his own bed. He let himself sink into the mattress. He probably wasn't going to be this comfortable for some time starting tomorrow. He wanted to cherish it.
Saive thought for a second about telling Roenan his huge inkling that he'd be joining him for boot camp starting tomorrow. But Roenan was an idiot and Saive couldn't be bothered to share his thoughts with someone who was associating himself with untrustworthy scumbags. He preferred to keep his thoughts to himself, anyway.
Saive really focused on how comfortable he felt lying in the bed. He wanted to close his eyes and lie here forever. Everything would be so easy if he could just close his eyes and lie forever.
Saive awoke to the sound of the door opening as he did every time it opened. He stayed facing his wall, without moving.
He could hear Roenan moving next to him. "Hey." He croaked, morning heavy on this voice, and probably a hangover too.
"You feeling alright?" Saive heard Drakke ask.
"As alright as I'm going to feel under these circumstances." Roenan said. It sounded like he was getting up in his bed and stretching.
"Why do you have two bags? Do you have class today?" Saive heard Roenan ask.
Saive didn't hear Drakke say anything but he assumed he must have pointed toward his bed.
"That's not possible. Are fucking with me?" Roenan asked in shock.
"Roenan... don't start."
"No! You stop this from happening right now! He isn't well enough to leave! They've been poisoning him. He's going to die out there!" Roenan whispered harshly.
"This is out of my hands. I'm not in a position to stop this." Drakke said.
"This isn't right! This isn't fucking right!" Roenan sounded distressed and Saive knew he was genuine. It was clear Reonan cared about his well-being. "Did you know about this the whole time?"
"No, I didn't." Drakke said.
He heard someone walk over to the side of his bed.
"Don't touch him." Roenan warned.
It had to have been Drakke standing behind him.
"Hey." He said loudly.
"What?" Saive snapped.
Drakke paused like he was taken aback by the quick response.
"You need to get up and get changed. You're being sent to camp. Pack like you expect to not return here." Drakke said, as if Saive even had anything to pack in the first place.
Saive rolled out of bed on the wall side. He turned back to look at Drakke.
"Where's my shit?" He asked with his hand out.
Drakke looked over his shoulder. "Roenan, can you hand me that?"
Roenan was staring at Saive with empathy in his eyes. Almost like he was pitying him. It pissed him off a little. Roenan grabbed one of the bags and handed it to Drakke who set it on the bed in front of Saive.
"Your new uniform and the sweats are in there. You have to change and be ready in ten." Drakke began to turn.
"So you torture, and you report on us too, don't you? What aren't you willing do for your country, Drakke." Saive spat him. Drakke turned back and stared at him darkly.
"What do you mean 'you torture'?" Roenan asked, his voice wavering.
"He's trained to play mind games too, Roenan. Sometimes you can't even trust your own." Drakke answered back, still glaring at Saive with a warning look.
Saive snorted. "That's rich," He snagged his bag off of the bed. "You hypocritical, lying pig. I hope he finds out all the truth about you. You are nothing but scum." Saive shot at Drakke in Vernajjian.
"Don't drag him down with you. You're just an unstable piece of shit who has no business getting him involved in the mess you've created for yourself." Drakke hissed back in Vernajjian. He looked Saive up and down. "Looks like your days are numbered anyway." Saive felt a snarl spread across his face. He turned and headed for the bathroom.
"What's going on?" He heard Roenan ask before the door shut behind him. He leaned his head back against the door and closed his eyes. "So help me, please, and guide me well." He whispered to some higher power before shuffling out of his clothes to change into his uniform.
———
"Take off your shirt." Drakke told Roenan as he strode back to him, ignoring his question.
Ronenan's brows creased in confusion for a second before a smile slowly played across his face.
"I knew it. You thought about it all night didn't you? You can't stop yourself for wanting more." Roenan winked.
"Shut up and do it." Drakke said with a barking laugh.
Roenan pulled his shirt over his head. His bandage hadn't been changed in about a week.
"We need to take this off." Drakke said. He went over to Roenan's bandage and found clips on his back that held the fabric together. He pulled them off and asked Roenan to lift his arms. Roenan did, and Drakke began unraveling the wrap. Drakke stood behind him and passed the wrapping from one of his hands to the next in front of Roenan's chest. Roenan felt Drakke's breath on his back. Goosebumps rose on his body at the close contact.
"Cold?" Drakke asked.
"Yeah." Roenan lied.
Drakke unraveled the last part of fabric that was wrapped around him and pulled his shoulder so he would turn around. He looked down at the wounds.
"Do you mind?" Drakke asked, lifting his hand to touch.
"Go for it." Roenan really hoped he wouldn't get obviously turned on in front of Drakke, but it was going to be a struggle. Even though he apologized about the kiss, there was a part of him that had been desperate to do it when he had. And what Drakke was doing now was pure torture.
Drakke brushed his fingers down on the raw, round wounds. They were definitely still healing, but they looked good. He pressed down on the fresh, risen pink scars.
"Still tender?"
"The bullet wounds aren't so bad. My ribs are the worst part but they've felt better lately." Roenan explained.
Drakke nodded and beckoned for him to turn around again. He turned and he felt Drakke's fingers grazed over the exit wounds. He also felt himself begin to stir. He shifted uncomfortably and cleared his throat.
"They look good, but you're going to want to be careful. They'll be throwing you into brutally physical stuff out there and you're probably going to have to suck it up sometimes." Drakke reached and grabbed Roenan's bag to hand it to him. "Better change... and change into the sweats. Not the uniform." Roenan looked at Drakke until Saive strolled out of the bathroom and he looked to see that he was already in his sweats. They fit him a little loosely since he wasn't in his average shape, and he had completely defaced the Vernajjian crest that had been embroidered on the left breast. It was now just a frayed messed of color.
Drakke snorted. "Off to a good start," He said. "You're going to get your ass beat for that one."
"Will you be doing the honors?" Saive asked politely, mock curiosity on his face.
Drakke shot him another warning glare.
"Fuck, guys... try to get along for a minute. I don't want today's plank walk to have to start here if it doesn't need to..." Roenan said as he strode to the bathroom door and shut it behind him harder than usual.
"What are you doing?" Drakke hissed in Vernajjian.
Saive raised his eyebrows. "Exposing you for what you are." He said in Jaedan.
"I've warned you. I've told you that if you try to behave and do as you're told, you'll be treated better." Drakke responded back in Jaedan when he realized Saive wasn't going to shift languages with him.
"Stop with your bullshit... acting like you give a fuck about me. We both know exactly what you are. " Saive looked Drakke up and down with a look of disgust.
Drakke took a threatening step toward him, anger written across his face. "Behave yourself." He whispered harshly in Vernajjian. "You don't know me."
"Fuck off. Stop talking to me." Saive shot back, glancing down at his fingernails, as if to find something more interesting to look at.
"You-," Drakke began, but Roenan opened the door and stepped out in his sweats and Drakke straightened up.
Roenan sighed deeply. "Alright let's get this over with." He said. He walked past Drakke to set his hospital clothes on his bed and Drakke shot one last warning glance at Saive, who sneered at him in return.
"Have you guys got everything you need?" Drakke asked with some irritablility still tinged in his voice.
Roenan zipped up his bag. "Yeah, I think I'm ready." He responded. They both looked at Saive.
"Waiting for master's cue." Saive said, flatly.
"Let's go, then." Drakke said as he turned and strode for the door, whispering to himself in Vernajjian, like he would do when he was really irritated or conflicted.
Roenan jogged to catch up with him, craning over to look at his face. "What's the matter?" Saive heard him ask quietly.
"Forget about it. How are you feeling?" Drakke asked, throwing a hand onto Roenan's shoulder as they reach the door.
Saive thought Roenan looked like a fucking puppy and he broke his stare from the exchange and grabbed his bag off of his bed to follow. He was probably the only other Jaedan in the entire camp, and he'd practically become a Vernajjian in the space of a month. Tsk... these are about to be the longest days of my life, Saive thought with dread.
If he survived.