Self care/love part II
Now that my life was back on track, I decided to get my body back on track. I got so used to what he liked and I forgot what I liked. What I deserved. I wanted to be healthy.
I hated thinking about my weight or how other people perceived me. He loved insisting on it. I am on the journey of loving me so why should others matter in my journey of self love.
So I signed up to the gym I went almost as someone else for the first few days. I wore the most covering clothes in my closet, I even wore a cap even though I hated them. I went incognito. I wanted to be strong, I wanted to feel strong. I did. A few days later I got back to my regular gym clothes. I got a coach and I reached my goals.
I was always watched and if felt good. I bathed in the attention I received. This made me realize how much he to deprived to me of this kind of attention. How did I ever really live like this? I tried and I succeeded in getting him out of my head, I stopped doing things for him and started doing them for me.
Throughout this journey I came to the conclusion that he didn't deserve me and guess what got me with this. I saw him at the gym with a flock of women and that was it.
I stopped comparing him to the men I saw on the streets. I stopped compromising my happiness for the one of a man I was never mine at all.
Never
Mine
At
All