David's POV:
How would it be like , if you find out that your dead beloved one is still alive ?
How would it feel like , if the memories you've made with them, and have cherished dearly like a tresor in your heart ,is no where to be found in their mind ?
How would it feel like, if their heart belongs to someone else ?
How should one act , when the finally found hope is slipping from between one's hands ?
I thought I lost her. The person who changed my life.
the person who snatched me away from the claws of death.
The person who gave me a reason to stay alive, to keep on going forward.
My saviour.
It was kind of predictable. For me to fall in love with her, there was no way around. I believe even if it wasn't for the damned blood running inside my veins, even if I were a normal person, even if we met through normal circumstances, I would still fall in love with her.
But the trick is: I would be able to fall out of love with her as well. I will be able to forget about her if she ceases from existing. I would be able to resent her when she hurts me. I would be able to stand back up again when she abandons me.
and it wouldn't be this painful to comfort her trembling figure when she's crying out for someone else.
I would be able to walk away from her and leave her palace, to feigne ignorance the way I initially intended to, to go through with my schedule,.... but did I have to stay and see her this broken for someone else?
did I have to witness it myself?
did it have to be my brother?
honestly, I didn't know which one hurts me more: hearing her crying out loud that she loves him....or the fact that despite having been together for years, despite all the efforts I put in the past, she never felt that way for me?
Or the fact that whether now or in the past, it was never me?
feeling the the turmoil of emotions inside my chest, I clenched my teeth, hard.
Even though I felt like threaded thorns surrounded by heart and wounded it every time it beats, I kept patting her back.
We were currently on the bed in her bedroom. we lay side by side hugging. I would have considered it a blessing any other time. But now, It felt like a death sentence.
"Why is everyone leaving me? " I heard her mumble.
Ever since Alex left, she's been repeatedly mumbling similar words while crying. She felt abandoned, rejected, and deserted.
"Everyone is abandoning me . Uncle Ben, steven, Hellen, And now Alex too..."
The sobbing that quietened down a bit for sometime now, got loud once again, and I just patted her back.
I didn't say anything. I didn't do anything. I just stayed still while she hugged me, my body, with a strength I didn't know she had.
I was used to this by now.
Since we were young, she had always acted this way. She was caring and loving, but she would never treat me more than a friend. She didn't feel any special feelings for me and she was always clear about it. She grew even more distant after I confessed my feelings for her, an act I regretted deeply afterwards.
And yet, whenever she had to experience something painful, she would always run to my side, on my dusty bed in my tiny room, lay down with me, and hug me until she calms down.
And whenever that happened, I would push all my hurting feelings, ignore the wounds in my heart, and comfort her just like now.
Her quietening sobbing got louder again and again. I knew she was hurt. All my senses screamed at me to help her. To end the misery she was feeling right now. To use my power and calm her down, just like I did last night, and always in the past, But I held back. It was not time yet.
I have to wait a little bit more.
Just a little bit.
My resolve quickly dissolved when I heard her labored breathing. She has been crying for so long it was wearing her down. At this rate she might get a panick attack like last night.
I felt an undescribebable pain in my heart as if a thousand pounds rock was put on my chest.
Did you love him that much?
Why?
What did he have that I lacked?
I closed my eyes tightly to get a grip over my bubbling emotions.
I opened my eyes again, now golden. It would change whenever I used my mother's power.
"Calm down," I whispered in her ear. "It's okay. You're not alone. Calm down, I'm here with you."
I kept patting and stroking her head like a baby put to sleep. She whined a little more then started to blink slowly in drowsiness. As if she had an appointment she couldn't miss, she fought her sleepiness adamantly.
"Close your eyes and rest." I put my hand on her eyes in an attempt to close them pushing her to sleep but to my surprise, she avoided my hand shaking her head in refusal. To other people, my surprise would feel exaggerated. But to anyone who knew a bit about this particular ability of mine, and especially to me who knew the extent to its power, it was fascinating that she was able to resist sleeping till now, much less assert her will to stay awake.
" nightmares will haunt me then."
Oh. Is that what it is?
Although it was concerning, it was nothing to be worried about right now with my ability. It might cause quite a problem for her if consistent though, so I made a mental note to deal with it later.
"I'm with you, don't worry." And although these words would have worked like magic on her in the past since she knew all there is about my abilities, I realised the current Elise didn't really know anything about me.
How courageous of her to be laying in bed with a man she met for barely a day.
"Will it help if I hold your hand, so you know I'm with you?"
"Mm"
I extended my hand for her and she clasped it tightly, interlocking our fingers. It was the bare minimum of skinship considering we deeply kissed yesterday and we're currently in each other's arms, but I could feel a slight feverish heat sweeping my face. My cheeks might have gotten red.
As if you were a chaste teen. I sighed.
It was extremely disappointing that holding hands would illicit such a reaction from me. It only highlighted the fact that despite all my efforts for the past six years, she still had her grip as tight as it ever was on my heart.
At the same time, it felt quite familiar. Just like a baby's anxiousness leaving his mother's womb just to be reunited with her in a hug. That sense of familiarity and security. Despite her amnesia, despite me being practically a stranger to her now, we still had that connection we always had. Even with all those years we spent away from each other, we still felt safe in each other's warmth.
'Each other's warmth? How laughable! Isn't it your zihr that made her feel safe? Despite all your effort comforting her, she never stopped crying until you used your power to calm her down.'
I closed my eyes, ignoring the girl's voice resonating in my head.
'You're simply delusional.'
'No body asked for your opinion' I knew it wasn't real. I knew it was all in my head. But I couldn't ignore it.
'I thought you decided to keep a distance. You said you would approach her carefully this time yet look at you now in her bed.'
' I'm seducing her.'
'You're being illusive, devy. Honestly, Who's seducing who? You'll get back to be hopelessly in love and then she'll break you down.'
'Shut up. You Don't even exist. You're not real.' I repeated continously.
'I'm simply concerned there will be another version of me In this tight space. Though it would be delighting to have a conversation partner for a change. '
Not paying attention to her words, I kept repeating to myself that it's all in my head, something I always do whenever this happens, until the voice quietened down then silence reigned over.
I have gone crazy.
Feeling her soft and even breaths on my collar bone, I calmed down a little bit. She was sleeping soundly, my hand not as tightly held as before, and so I pulled away.
"Sweet dreams, Elise." I whispered, blowing a kiss on her damp eyes. And I slid away from the bed careful not wake her up.
Outside of the bedroom was Jack, standing alongside a maid I recognised to be Elise's maid in waiting.
They bowed and nodded in acknowledgement. I noticed the maid, Anna I recall, fumbling and mumbling, opening and closing her mouth repeatedly.
"She is sleeping right now. She is not in the best mental state so be wary of that." She must have been meaning to ask about her since a relieved expression doned her face instantly and she nodded, more to herself than to me it seemed.
Without another word, I headed out, Jack following one step behind. Publicly, he was my butler. But privately, he was my right hand man and closest friend. We've known each other for over 10 years and we have grown accustomed to each other's character. I can say, he is the only person who can treat me casually despite my character.
"She kept crying for quite so long." He noted and I nodded. We were currently in the carriage alone so he spoke casually.
"Why didn't you use your power?" He wore a solemn expression but I knew their was an edge of reproach In there.
" I did use it."
"You could have used it earlier though. Much earlier in the garden, or right after you got into the bedroom. Was it necessary to let her cry continously for so long?" Just as he was my friend, he was Elise's too, so I understood his worry about her.
"It was out of necessity_" "necessity to let her be in pain?!" He cut me, his voice a notch higher.
" necessity to let her remember that pain. So she can get over him quickly and accept me."
"Are you manipulating her?"
"I'm seducing her." He eyed me with a complicated gaze.
"I'm done being the one foolishly, unconditionally in love. If I can't get rid of my love for her, then I'll just have to make her love me back."
I could see he was debating to say something but he opted not to, closing his mouth and turning slightly to the right, watching silently the landscape changing.