"The surest sign that you've gotten under a guy's skin is if you see him talking to himself. If you see that, go buy some new furniture and prepare to move residences because you just signed a 12-month lease to live in his head, rent free."
------------
Joey's call resounded throughout the poker room. As soon as Brian heard it, he let out a guttural roar, "I can't win a damn hand tonight!" He huffed in gasping, ragged breaths. Then he took his cards and tossed them into the muck...a fold!
The dealer pushed the pot to Joey. As Joey stacked his new chips and the dealer collected all the folded cards, Joey said, "Hey, Brian was it? I know how you feel man. I haven't hit a hand all night." Then he flipped over his cards for everyone to see.
The room was silent for a few moments. Then everyone made a collective gasp!
Air! Total rags! Garbage! These are all suitable terms for Joey's cards! He couldn't beat anything! Not even a bluff!
After a few moments, everyone realized what happened...Joey never bluffed! All he did was call! Despite that, he won with absolutely nothing! It's all because Brian threw his cards away without flipping them over in the showdown!
The dealer kept blinking to fix his vision! The other players' jaws were hanging down! No one could believe it!
Most shocked of all was Brian! He expected Joey to at least have a decent hand...He never imagined Joey would call with even worse than a bluff! Who could?!? No one could! Only Joey could anticipate that Brian would throw his cards away without showing them. So he made a crazy call!
Brian's face turned green as he stared at Joey's cards. His breathing stopped! Some people were worried his heart stopped! Then out of nowhere, he lunged to where he threw his cards away! He wanted to take them back! But it was too late! The dealer already collected them! They were gone and the hand was over!
Sprawled over the table, Brian stared at the deck of cards in the dealer's hand. His mouth hung open and his chin quivered. He started muttering unclear nonsense under his breath! "Ugggh...Bhuuuu...Arrrr." It was like he forgot how to speak!
Everyone was dumbstruck, staring at him! To lose like that was beyond humiliating! The mental shock was so big, he lost his ability of speech!
After a long time, with shaky legs, Brian stood up. With a dead face, his arms hung at his sides. Then while mumbling random noises, he wobbled out of the poker room at a zombie's pace while staring into empty space. He even forgot to cash out the remainder of his chips.
Everyone stared at him leave with the same thought, 'He became a zombie?' Then they gulped and looked at Joey with only one thought, 'You can beat me...but don't show me the damn cards!'
All Joey had to do was beat Brian in a hand and show him the cards! Only with that, Brian lost his soul! He became a zombie! He didn't even get bitten! They'd heard of psychological warfare, but he turned into a walking dead! This was damn chemical warfare!
...
After a while, the dealer snapped out of it and remembered he had to keep dealing the next hand. At that time, Joey said, "Deal me out." Then he got up, took his chips, and went to cash out. Fortunately, while Joey played, several new players had joined the game so it continued even without him.
"Kid, you're doing great. Why stop now?" Angelo asked.
"Gotta...take...break," Joey slurred. "You mind I...nap...there?" Joey pointed to a couch near the office.
Angelo gave him a strange look. "…Yea, go ahead. Here's your cash."
Joey dragged his tired body to the couch and managed to lay down before blacking out.
***
UUUUUHHHHH. Joey yawned, he rubbed his eyes as he gradually adjusted them to the light and opened them. Before seeing anything, he heard something first.
Humhumhumhumhum. He looked over and found Amy humming a giddy tune to herself. The tune wasn't bad. The problem was she appeared to be cleaning a set of screwdrivers, wrenches, and power tools she'd found somewhere. They were set over a mobile food tray.
From time to time, she would pause and hum, deep in thought about something, before returning to humming and cleaning her tools. Several moments later, she finished her preparations and rolled the tray over to Joey's couch, slightly surprised that he was awake.
"What are you doing?" Joey asked, shrinking back.
"Early alert system? Not bad. Those evil scientists haven't been completely wasting our precious tax money on evil lair decorations.
"…Evil scientists?"
"The ones that built you..."
"Built me?"
"Yea, aren't you a robot?"
"…Why would I be a robot?"
"That was some play you made earlier R2D2. Then your core powered down from battery overload and you went into sleep mode. Besides, everyone knows robots are among us. There have been many documentaries about it...Black Mirror...Bladerunner..."
"I'm not a robot!" Joey stopped her before she unscrewed his head.
"Really?" she verified, with visible disappointment.
"I'm human," Joey confirmed.
Amy sighed. "The search continues..." Amy wheeled her tray of tools out of the room, as she returned to humming that tune.
Soon after, Angelo came in. "Hey kid, you alright?"
"Yea, I'm fine, how long have I been sleeping?"
Angelo looked at his watch. "Almost 3 hours. What happened?"
"…Nothing. I just get tired sometimes." Joey glossed over the subject.
"...All right. The others have been coverin' your shifts, but you're gonna be up to deal again soon. Can you handle it?
Joey nodded.
"That's good. By the way kid, hell of a play you made earlier. I didn't say nothin' cause that Brian scares off more players than he brings in business, but in general, try not to antagonize the other players huh? I don't make no money off you dealin'. We need players actually playin' and payin' rake to make some money around here. Can't have you scarin' them all off."
"…I understand. Wait, what's rake?"
"Rake? That's how we hosts of poker games, aka the house, get paid. You know how Amy instructed you to take a couple chips from every pot and put it in that box to the side when you were dealin'? It's that...which is, you know...to pay our expenses." Angelo grinned.
"Ok, got it."
"Alright kid, see you out there," Angelo said as he left. Joey got up and realized he hadn't eaten anything all night so he walked over to the snacks area to get some food. When he got there, he saw Andrew leaning against the wall, playing on his phone.
"Hey man, how's it going?" Andrew greeted without looking up.
'This guy's peripheral vision is next level...' Joey admired. "Good. Just getting some food. Angelo was just telling me about the rake..."
"The rake? Yea, that's the real bitch."
"What do you mean?"
Andrew looked up from his phone for the first time. "Don't tell Angelo I told you this, but as a player, the real enemy isn't the other players but the rake. The rake is how the house makes money. If you want to make money as a player though, you've gotta beat the rake, which means you have to win more from the other players than the rake takes from you. That's the challenge, but it's not easy. Most players lose or breakeven because they can't beat the rake."
Joey was startled because this was the first time he's heard more than 3 words come out of Andrew's mouth at one time. "You seem pretty knowledgeable about this stuff," Joey said.
"Yeah well, these are the things you've gotta know if you want to make it as a player."
"So...you're a player?" Andrew asked.
"Yea. I deal here for some side money while I'm building up my bankroll, but I'm trying to make it as a player."
"Bankroll?"
"Bankroll is the total pool of money a player has to play with. In other words, it's just how much money you have. The bigger your bankroll, the bigger you can play."
"Alright, thanks for the info," Joey said, as he picked up some fruits to eat and thought about the things he just learned. 'So if I want to play, I have to beat the rake. I also have to grow my bankroll.' Joey started to think about what his bankroll was at now. 'With the money I just won from Brian, I should have around 1000.' That figure bewildered him momentarily because it was money he couldn't dream of just a week ago.
Joey's eyes grew firm. 'Whether it's the rake or other players, I only need to focus on a couple of simple things: playing my best, and winning.' His head swiveled to look at the poker game still going. He listened to the sounds of the chips splashing, the players making their plays, and a smile emerged on his face.
'Let's see who can stop me.'