"I don't know about, what Chloe thinks it feels, I have nothing to do with her feelings but I could assure you for Duke. He is a demon with brain and no heart, he is least capable of reciprocating her feelings. So, it'll be good for her, not to expect something from my soldier."
Enzo said in a warning tone and I could only feel bad for Chloe. I didn't know, what all parts, he spoke about Duke, we're correct, but if anyone, amongst us knew him well enough was Enzo. Duke wasn't only his soldier, he was like a brother to him, according to how I've seen him, treat Duke differently than his any other soldier. He trusted him with his life. And Duke deserved that trust, that makes him all more dangerous.
"Maybe. But I think I've seen him act differently around Chloe. You think, there could be a change in his feelings?"
I asked, I knew Duke was treacherous but I still felt for Chloe's, one sided feelings. I was not willing to give up yet.
"No, Valerie. Duke is a made man, a man of honour. He can't waste his time on feelings, that are mere human psychological problems that could inflict the other emotions, which is the last thing I want in my men. I have trained them to be emotionless, to be ruthless. They aren't capable of feelings, no emotion can possess them. Feelings are nothing but a distraction."
The words felt the most harsh weapon, ever used on me. For once I had hope that maybe Enzo was wearing a mask to keep his feelings hidden from the world. But the coldness in his voice and his hollow dark eyes made it clear, that I was hoping of something vain, that wasn't viable at all. This was the first time, he ever yelled on me. His yelling didn't bother me much bit I didn't know what else was because the next moment my cheeks were wet and my vision was blurry as I could only see the faded image of Enzo, he was rubbing his temple with closed eyes. Unknowingly, I let out a sob and he opened his eyes, surprised go find me crying.
Yes, I was still the weak, emotional, fragile girl. No matter how much I try at the end I always end but breaking down. And this time, I was feeling like giving up on everything. I just hated myself, my life. How could I blame someone else for my miserable condition, when I was the one, who was a problem. I was trying to see something in this mob life which was far from possible, an optimistic ray, I thought if was present deep inside everyone but they refused to dig in to find it. I had imagined how everything would be perfect, once I could see a made man change into a gentleman. I thought maybe Enzo could bring a change. I had mistaken his selfish nature for helping me to pity. I wronged it all and the thought itself ached my chest.
"Hey Valerie, what's the matter?"
Enzo asked, his voice, soft, serene and slow. He was trying to calm me down as he put his hand on my shoulder.
"It's just I was trying too hard to be what I am not, to do what's imposibble."
I admitted between my sob. Enzo tucked a strand of hair behind my ear which stuck to my forehead because of sweat.
"What are you saying? What are you blaming yourself for?"
He asked with obvious confusion. He took my hands and gently squeeze the with his.
"I don't know, maybe everything. I should have been strong since childhood. This world is not easy to survive in, I should have known."
I told him and hugged him with my face pressed on his chest and my tears dropped though his muscles. For a moment he stood still but the he wrapped his arms around my shoulder.
"I don't know what and why you are saying this but one thing that I can tell for sure is, you are the most strong woman, I've ever met. You are strong and determined, Valerie. I haven't seen a girl, play such a big part in mob life. All the capos and the important people in our world are talking about you. You are underestimating yourself, because you are capable of doing more than you could imagine and I assure you of that."
Enzo said while messaging the back of my head and his voice in my ears felt motivating and comforting. I don't know, how much of it was true but Enzo wouldn't lie to me, if I wasn't worth it, he would have said that straight on my face. And why would he bother keeping me, if I was being any help to him. Power in mob mattered to me but now there was something else that I wanted to achieve in this world that is to bring some good feelings and emotions. Because the only emotions known in our world were anger and the feeling of revenge. I want to tell them, that there was more to it, memories weren't only made of those terrible events but sweet little moments with loved ones could be more prestigious than winning over your big enemies.
"I don't know. Maybe I am too weak to that I wasn't able to handle my emotions."
I have handled them for more than a week a now, without breaking down. It I thought I was capable of being handling it now. But I would need to work more in it, I couldn't just keep crying in front of Enzo or anyone else.
"See, I told you. Emotions make you weak."
He said carefully with a straight face, trying not to offend me.
"Emotions are always the same Enzo. If they are capable of weakening you, then they could even provide you with desired strength when in need."
I tried to explain to him but his expression said something else. He didn't understand my words, how would he, when he was far from any emotion other than anger.
"Okay enough talk on this topic we will proceed with our exercising now."
He ordered and I followed. I was gradually improving in handling guns but that still wasn't sufficient and Enzo said, I would have to improve my concentration and I decided on doing some meditation before practicing gun shooting.
I got ready for work after the training was over and Enzo promised to reach Rexivo in time for meeting. It was my first time attending any meeting related to mob business but I wasn't really nervous because there was barely any side of it left for me to encounter. I know a while lot about the sins in our world and how they are covered but I now I was also a part of it and would have to deal it.
"Ready?"
Enzo asked as I stepped in the hallway.
"Yes sir."
I answered with a confident grin.
As I stepped out of the car, I saw Chloe and Duke getting out of the same car and I remembered last night when duke promised to her coming to Rexivo. But this wasn't the right time for them to be seen together. I turned behind to see, Enzo's expression and it confirmed my worry as his hold on steering wheel tightened and his knuckles were white. He sure wasn't happy seeing them together. He thought expressions might weaken Duke but I wanted to tell him, he was wrong but I couldn't muster the courage. I got back in the car to talk to Enzo.
"Why the hell are they coming together?"
He asked with low, cold voice.
"Hey, it's not what you think. Please Enzo let me explain, don't do anything impulsively please."
I please him before he could go to them and make situation bad.
"Fine, explain."
I told him everything about last night and the reason why Duke was helping him. It was something he was ought to do. He was Enzo's soldier and was ought to protect his people. I tried to sound as justifiable I could but I didn't know if Enzo understood or not.
"This was the first and last time I am tolerating this. I don't want to see or hear any dating rumours about my men."
Be said, angrily staring at choir and I feel so very bad for poor girl. She wasn't aware of anything. Nothing at all, she was so innocent and naive. I would try my best to protect her from evils of this world.
"Enzo you need to calm down. He is just helping nothing else. And I will make sure you don't have to hear anything about your men."
I assured him and I knew I could do it. I just have to make Chloe feel that she wasn't headed in right direction, and falling for Duke could be actually dangerous for her. After I made sure Enzo was calm, I left for my office and Chloe was waiting there for me with a big grin on her face. Oh! God I knew the reason for her happiness and excitement to tell me about the time he and Duke spent. How would I be able to crush each of her emotions for him. This was way more harder than I could ever imagine.