Gauhar's POV
Was it cowardly to stay cooped up in your room, refusing to let anyone in and avoiding the topic bothering you like it was the plague? Maybe, most probably….absolutely.
I felt Inayah's words ring in my ears as I sneaked out of the house yet again, she'd said that I wasn't a coward. But right now I felt nothing but one, I knew that my distress was giving baba a hard time, and I also knew that stressing him out would only serve to make his state even worse. But I couldn't feel any guilt at all, in fact the knowledge that I'd hurt him gave me a strange sadistic pleasure. I wanted him to feel the pain that I felt.
Though I doubt that was possible.
As I slammed the car shut and revved up my engine, I made sure I paid attention to the road ahead of me. I didn't think I could afford crashing into another car and ruin this hideous little car that my father cherished so much any further. The only reason I'd been spared yesterday was because of the fact that my father had agreed to marry me to a man without my consent , which completely validated my reactions.
I headed towards the cliff that held so many memories for me, the only place that I knew would give me the comfort and solace that I desired. It was funny how I had dubbed my father as the superhero of my life, how I had thought of him as my protector and saviour who would ensure that there was no wrong that would trouble me.
I wanted to scoff at the irony of it all. I remembered how I had ignored him for the entire day yesterday, even when he stood outside my bedroom for an hour waiting for me to open the door so that he could talk to me, if only for a little bit. I didn't think that I was prepared to let him in yet, I wasn't sure I wanted to hear his side of the story.
I wanted to justify this burning feeling of anger within me just a bit longer.
I knew he was flawed, I knew he had made mistakes in the past that had made our lives difficult, I knew he was far from perfect. But I also knew that I could trust him to be the one who would be on my side when nobody else would be.
Why he had agreed to let Altamash marry me was no secret. But the fact was the truth hurt me more than just the mere notion that I was being forced to do this.
My father was indebted to his best friend, and the only way he thought he could repay him for allowing him to experience all the happiness that he has experienced in his life is to offer his daughter as a gift to him. I knew this because I had overheard his conversation with Inayah yesterday, the fact that I was essentially sacrificed like a cattle for sale filled me with so much disgust that I couldn't bring myself to listen to any more of their conversation.
The sky was cloudy today, the sky lined with fluffy white clouds that made me want to believe that I could sleep on them. The sun made the occasional appearance as I drove through the silent streets, it was the perfect day, or as perfect of a day as I could possibly have and it was in complete contrast with the chaotic feelings swirling within me.
As I reached the cliff overlooking the beautiful city of Kullu, I let out a long held sigh of relief. The air was crisp and singed my nostrils in the best possible way. As I looked at the view beyond the cliff's edge from my seat in the car, I had the fleeting thought of how easy it would be to escape it all and just jump down. But I stamped it down as soon as it occurred to me.
The loud blaring of my father's ringtone startled me out of my thoughts. I frantically looked around me for the source of the sound, my heart beating rapidly in my chest as I searched for the person that I least wanted to have a conversation with right now.
The vibrations coming from the glove compartment of the car attracted my attention. Leaning forward I opened it, only to find my father's phone flashing Ahmed Quadri's name on the screen. Silencing the phone I pushed it into my pocket, feeling a rush of anger for the man who was incessantly calling my father for the past three minutes.
It was just like father to forget his things in the car. He must've left it here yesterday after dropping Inayah off.
As I got out of the car and took a seat near the edge of the cliff, my hand instinctively went towards the phone lodged in my pocket. It was baffling how I wanted to cherish the things that belonged to him and keep them close to me despite my anger for him. Maybe it was because he was the only one of my parents who I was sure loved me, the only one I was sure did not resent my very existence.
Even if he thought it was completely alright for me to be married off to an absolute stranger because the dude had a sudden whim to get a wife.
Now that I think about it, I couldn't remember a single time that I had seen him, which was funny since he was supposed to be my brother's best friend. Muqeet's choice in friends was even worse than his choice of ice cream flavours and that was telling something. How he could befriend an imbecile who was forcing a girl to get married to him without even meeting her once was beyond me.
Running a hand down my face, I watched the sky turn a mesmerising shade of pink, which had little wisps of orange and yellow draining into it providing me with the most gorgeous pre-sunset view. I wrapped my arms around my legs and rested my head on my knees, closing my eyes and allowing the soothing trill of birds' chatter to calm my racing heart and still my tumultuous thoughts.
"Are you sure she will be there?" a familiar velvety smooth feminine voice asked, piercing the silence and popping the bubble of calm that had briefly surrounded me. Instantly recogning who it was, I let out a deep sigh, bracing myself as the voices came closer to me.
"I'm positive, she always used come here with her best friend when she wanted to be comforted." There was a pause, as if he were contemplating adding the next part, or maybe he had just tripped on a branch while admiring himself, "you can trust me on this one."
"You are aware that it's not easy to trust you right?" she asked, the scepticism clear in her voice.
"It's funny you say that since you were the one who had begged to tag along with me while searching for Gauhar. Pretty counterintuitive to be so adamant about joining someone if you had no faith in them in the first place isn't it?"
A long silence punctuated by the sounds of furious footsteps crunching over the dead twigs and gravel followed his words, confirming my suspicions that Daniya had been successfully rendered speechless by Muqeet. A rare occurrence that brought a smile to my face.
"Why do you think I brought you here Daniya? Did you come with me despite knowing that there is a huge likelihood of me bringing you here and taking advantage of the situation in some morally frowned upon way. I must say I expected you to be smarter than that."
The agitated crunching of leaves stopped at his words.
"And you ask me why I don't trust you huh? It practically sounds like you've planned this a million times in your head."
A chuckle followed her words, "Pinky, if I wanted a girl, I wouldn't have to resort to measures as desperate as those to have her."
The smug, almost condescending tone of his made me physically cringe, bury myself in a hole in the earth and want to punch him in the face, all at the same time.
How on god's blessed earth did he manage to nurture so much over-confidence despite having nothing remarkable about him? It was truly fascinating. I couldn't bear hearing his egotistical ramblings any longer and hence it was imperative that I stop him from making a bigger fool of himself.
"I came here to get some peace of mind and alone time but instead of enjoying this calming place." I glared at the two idiots whose eyes were filled with concern for me and continued, "Instead, I was heralded with half-assed plans of kidnapping and cringey self-proclaimed declarations of attractiveness from you guys. Could you, for once, stop being bloody annoying little twats and leave me in peace?"
Walking towards me in her glittery pink sneakers that looked incredibly out of place against the dried up golden leaves and muddy earth, Daniya took my arm in hers looking up at me with her large hazel eyes, "How could I do that Haru, I came alllll the way here from UK to stay with you, how could you even fathom leaving me alone" shooting a dirty look at Muqeet she continued, "especially with someone like him."
Answering her jab with a mock hurt gasp he rubbed his chest, "You surely don't mean to say you hate my company, do you Pinky?"
Wiping a hand down my face I took in a deep breath as I shook my head at their bickering. Pulling my arm out of Daniya's hold, I walked towards my spot near the edge of the cliff.
"Well, we'd come to take this ungrateful piece of shiet to have some ice cream so that it improves her chronically depressed mood." Muqeet called out loudly as he rolled his eyes at my behaviour, putting his hands in his pockets he started walking back towards the car.
"But I guess it's gonna be just you and me for now Daniya." He turned towards her and gave her a wink, causing me to nearly dry heave the non-existent dinner I had last night.
Scrunching up her sharp little nose she offered me a look of utter disdain. "It's a pity really that I have friends who don't value me at all, I guess I'm not needed here anymore so it's better I go back."
"No Daniya don't go!" he called out in a dramatically emotional voice as he ran back towards her, his antics nearly making me laugh out loud.
"I brought you here because I was aware that you were slaving away for your exams and I couldn't see you worrying about that ungrateful prat anymore," he added, looking at me with a look of utmost disdain.
Rolling my eyes at their blatant attempt to emotionally blackmail me I got up and dusted my jeans, "No need to act all hurt and disappointed, I'll tag along with you guys just so that I can put an end to your incessant complaining."
As I caught up with them, I looped my arms through each of theirs forming a ridiculous chain.
"If you two were trying to make me feel bad for what I did, you've failed at it. Epically may I add," I nudged my brother with my shoulder and added, "you nearly made me gag with that overdramatic show of concern and sweetness and Daniya you were so pathetic I wanted to give in just so I could have you stop."
"Well, it worked didn't it?" She said seemingly unbothered by my scathing review of her performance.
Patting my head as if he were ruffling my hair and ruining my hijab in the process, Muqeet added, "It's alright little sister, you can admit how much you love us, no need to disguise your affection with all those mean words." Winking at me, he grinned, "And guess what? I'll allow you to stuff your ugly face with as much ice-cream as you want and pay for all of it myself."
"Ah how gracious of you Bhai." I gushed with my most sugary smile, addressing him with the term he used to force me to call him by because he wanted me to respect his being my big brother.
"May lord have mercy on my credit card." He lamented, looking up at the sky, finally managing to force a laugh out of me.