Gauhar's POV
I turned myself towards him, looking into his eyes "Who do you think you are?" I ground out through my teeth, hating the compassion that shone in his eyes "why did you come here, why are you always around me when I need help? I find it irritating, in fact I hate it."
I felt my breath hitch as I realised what I had just said, regretting it instantly. But the damage had already been wrought.
I watched him apprehensively, feeling relief flood through me as I realised that my words didn't seem to affect him as he continued to calmly look into my eyes, not saying anything. His wet hair was plastered across his forehead, his eyelashes dripping drops of water on his cheeks.
In the silence that weighed heavy with my regret, I noticed every little detail on his face. Watching intently to see if he'd show any signs of displeasure, but his face remained a mask of calmness. Watching me intently, waiting for me to say something.
Clenching my fists I mustered all the courage within me, continuing despite the heaviness building within me "And who has given you the right to go around giving people nicknames, I don't know you, hell, we're practically strangers and you call me that weird ass name as if you're my friend."
My breath came in ragged pants as I looked at him searching for signs of displeasure on his face. Why was he not angry? Why was he so calm and why did I feel so guilty? Didn't I want to hurt him for making me feel vulnerable, for helping me out every time I needed it?
"Am I not?" he inquired, his voice soft and his eyes even softer. I realised that there was expectation shining through his eyes, he wanted me to agree that I was his friend. Even after I had been so mean to him.
Ugh this man, I looked up at the pouring sky for patience, letting the cold drops of rain fall over my face and soak through my hijab. I hated him for being so empathetic, I really hated that he was looking at me as if he understood what I was going through and I really really hated the fact that a part of me did actually think of him as my friend.
"Lil fang" he whispered.
I lifted my head to look into his eyes, giving me a soft smile he said "I, for one, think that you are my friend. We always meet at strange times but in all our exchanges I have never felt that you could harm me in any way, so in my books, that means that you are my friend." He was now grinning at me with a certain roguish charm.
Pushing his sopping wet hair back he continued "And as for the nickname." He scratched his temple "I honestly don't know why I called you that, it came naturally to me when I saw you beat that man into a pulp the first time we met. And I guess you looked like a little cat to me because you're so dainty and slender but you had fangs hidden which I believe are pretty damn lethal. I was honestly a bit intimidated by you, maybe I still am."
I smiled sheepishly at him, he straightened his jacket as he continued "but I'm sure you agree that it fits you. Also, there's this extremely minor detail that I don't actually know your name, so I can't call you anything else even if I wanted to."
Despite myself, I felt a smile tug at my lips "Yeah, I forgot that you don't know my name. Let's do this correctly shall we?"
straightening up I cleared my throat "Hello I'm Gauhar a law student studying her final year, nice to meet you-" I cocked my head, silently asking him for his name.
He didn't answer me immediately, looking intently into my eyes he sighed deeply before turning away "Well for my name-" he tapped his chin, his gaze following the steady downpour.
"You can call me Ali. I'm a lawyer" smirking at me he added "one who has completed his degree by the way, which makes me your senior in the field."
I shook my head as I smiled at his cheeky little addition.
"It's a pleasure meeting you Gauhar." he said with warmth "It always is."
I felt warmth climb up my neck at his words which had never happened before, forcing me to look away from him. I hoped fervently that the dark night and steady rain made it difficult for him to notice the flushing over my face. I wrapped my arms around myself as a strong gust of wind blew past me causing a chill to shake me up.
I rubbed my nose to warm it up and bit my lip to stop my teeth from chattering.
I couldn't help but look longingly at his coat, feeling jealous that he wasn't shivering in the cold. His eyes followed my gaze and when he realised what I was looking at a smirk formed on his face. As I saw him take off his coat I quickly interjected "Don't you dare go cliché on me and drape that coat over my head or something."
Ali merely raised his eyebrows at me as if he were surprised I'd intercepted his move. But he quickly seemed to compose himself as he carefully folded the coat and draped it over his legs "What made you think that I was going to do that Gauhar?"there was a mischievous glint in his eyes as he leaned back, stretching his legs in front of himself, making a show of making himself comfortable "I haven't forgotten that you still have my sweatshirt. I'm not gonna trust you with any other article of clothing unless I get it back."
"Well, we are friends aren't we?" I looked at him challengingly "Surely it shouldn't matter if I have your clothes right?"
"Touché" he chuckled, agreeing with me.
The storm grew increasingly fierce as we sat in silence, the deafening sound of water hitting the asphalt and the violent gusts of wind the only sounds around us.
"Don't you think it's strange?" Ali's gaze seemed to be trained on something that I couldn't quite see.
"What?" I asked, watching the raindrops hit the ground under the light of the street lamps.
"Doesn't it feel as if this falling rain is trying to heal our pain, as if it's trying to wash away all our wounds? Ironic isn't it, that this fierce storm is soothing the storm within us?" his voice was undeniably bitter as he chuckled to himself "Makes you wonder which storm is the greater one"
Reaching his hand out, he let the drops fall on his palm "the insatiable one within us insignificant humans or this magnificent one outside."
I let his words wash over me, marvelling at how he was talking out loud exactly what was going on in my head. I wondered if he was also going through a difficult time, the thought made a fresh wave of shame overwhelm me. I was venting out my bitterness in him when he appeared to be battling with demons of his own.
Never in my life had I believed myself to be a despicable human as much as I did at that moment.
Hoping that my feelings didn't show on my face, I attempted an expression of nonchalant contemplation "Hmm, to me it seems as if the rain is giving us company. Looks like we're both sad people here and nature is here right along with us."
I turned around, finding him looking intently at me, his clear gaze appearing to pierce right through me "What is it that's bothering you anyway? Did you by any chance miss your target Mr Serial Killer?"
"Ah no, why would I miss my target when she's sitting right here?" he smiled at me but it didn't reach his eyes, as if he were placating my lame attempt at humour. Sighing he shook his head, I felt a drop in my stomach as I realised that I didn't seem to be able to do anything to improve his mood.
I turned away, feeling that it was something that he didn't want to share with me. What was he thinking about and why was he so sad? Almost as if he had no hope left in him.
For some reason that dejectedness made me feel sad. Whatever had dimmed the light in his eyes, I felt a strong irrational urge to hurt it. Just to make him smile like before.
"I was just reminded again today by someone that I look up to, that I was an inadequate waste of life and I realised that anything that I do in life would never be enough to please him." Although there was still a smile on his face, I could see the sadness in his eyes.
I felt a crinkle of candy wrapper against my hand, Ipulled out the candy from my pocket and stared at the purple wrapper resting on my palm. Brother always gave this to me when he wanted me to smile, and now I thought that he deserved to smile.
"Give me your hand." I looked at him apprehensively, half afraid that he'd decline.
He gave me a long look before giving me a small nod and extending his arm towards me. I put the candy in his hand "eat this, research has shown that it improves mood and ensures that you don't get deterred by what people say to bring you down."
"Damn this little thing does seem pretty potent." he closed his fingers around it, giving me a smile.
Through his soaking wet shirt I noticed faint dark marks swirling across his arm which looked suspiciously like tattoos, I considered asking him about them when I realised that it was better I remain silent. He wasn't what he appeared to be, he wasn't invincible to weakness and I was grateful that he wasn't shy of showing that to me. There was a lot that I wanted to ask him, his contradictory behaviour caused a volcano of curiosity to erupt within me.
"What about you lil fang what's got you feeling down?"
The question suddenly made me feel suffocated, I looked away taking a deep breath. I realised that I wasn't as brave as him, I was scared to show him how vulnerable I was.
Taking out the flowers that Natalie had given me I twirled them between my fingers, they had wilted now "you know, a little girl had given these to me, to give to my father so that unlike her father, mine would know that he isn't alone."
I smiled bitterly as I stroked the velvety petal between my fingers "I forgot to give it to him." I looked up at his face as he blinked at me, waiting for me to continue "you know why? Because I was a selfish idiot."
I felt fresh tears prick the back of my eyelids but I grit my teeth. Maybe if I was able to fool him into thinking that I was strong, I could fool myself into believing the delusion as well.
"I know that you aren't the waste of life that the person you admire made you out to be, but I know that I am. Because, I don't regret being selfish at all, because I know that the person I hurt was selfish as well."
Warmth streamed down my cheeks, mixing with the cold rivulets flowing down my cheeks. The tears singed my eyes, but I couldn't stop them and I hated that he was seeing me this way.
"Maybe I'm just like him after all" I chuckled to myself.
Ali's warm gaze watched me silently before he moved closer to me, through my blurry haze of tears I could see that he had lifted his hand. I could feel the warmth of his hand hovering above my cheek, realising what he was going to do, I slapped his hand away, standing up to get away from him.
I could feel my heart hammering over my chest over the deafening roar of the wind. He walked up closer to me, and my gaze fell on the dark marks peeking through the translucent fabric of his shirt, making a chill run down my spine. My mind feels hazy as I numbly push him away
"D-don't come near me, L-let me g-go." I wipe the tears falling from my face and walk away from him. The emptiness that had seemed to have dissipated for a few moments seemed to have come back, the pain blooming within my chest, ten times more hurtful.