"The most mentally deranged people are certainly those who see in others indications of insanity they don't notice in themselves."
-Leo Tolstoy
(Food for thought right? Imma go do some self introspection, let's see how much we range on the scale of insanity. judge yourself before others folks!!!)
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Gauhar's POV
"Uhm is everything alright Miss-"I looked up sharply at him, narrowing my eyes, daring him to continue what he was saying.
I swear to god, training this guy to let go of his bad habits was harder than training an angsty teenager to stop slamming the door. Both of them had the delusion that they were older than they actually were, and both were really stubborn with it.
"I'm so sorry, what I meant was….Gauhar" he corrected himself, earning him ha smile from me. He cleared his throat before continuing "is everything alright? You seem to not like the coffee. Did you perhaps want more sugar? Or some milk?"
That folks is the downside of having a face that was crap at keeping secrets was that every freaking person was able to understand what you were feeling. Imagine how pathetic it was to have your on face betray you....that's my entire life for you. This face was the reason why they (my parents) found out that I was the one who has cut brother's favourite jeans. (It was seaweed coloured and extremely hideous, he should in fact thank me for getting rid of that crap.)
"Don't sweat yourself about it Mr. Maurya. This coffee is alright…I guess. I can't expect much better from coffee from the hospital anyway, so it doesn't matter. I just need it to stay awake, and I'm sure it will do that." I gave him my most reassuring smile, taking a sip of my coffee to show that I was in fact okay with it.
I was quite sure that he didn't take my lie for I knew the disgust on my face was completely apparent. The coffee snob inside me was retching her guts out, which was not a nice sight to see, although since she was inside my head I was at least spared the awful smell. Reason had turned her nose up as she stared at the retching C.S in disgust, though I knew that she approved of my actions.d
I could see it clearly in the skeptical way that he looked at me that he didn't believe my words, but I was happy that he kept silent as he continued drink his own coffee "Mi- Ahem…. Gauhar if you don't mind I would like you to call me Dev." He bowed his head down, the tips of his ears turning read again.
My goodness, look at that! We have made progress baby, he has taken the initiative to come out of his shell....or it could just be that he was just feeling uncomfortable that I was still referring to him by his father's surname.
"Oh so your name is Dev Mr. Mishra! That's such a cool name, I was getting tired of calling you Mr. Mishra anyways, so thank you."
"You really liked the name?" he looked up from his cup of coffee, uncertainty clear in his blue irises. It was at times like these that he reminded me of a lost schoolboy, why was he so uncertain of himself?
His cheeks turned pink as I smiled at him, a mirroring smile adorning his face as I nodded my head. I didn't know what I had to do, but I wanted to help him overcome this self doubt. Though it was kinda hypocritical of me to do something like that, but the lost look in his eyes tugged at my heart and made me want to help him.
"Your name is strangely fitting for you, now that I think about it." I pointed out, taking another long sip of the poor substitute for coffee.
Dev seemed surprised at this comment "Why did you say that? I know it's an old name....I guess it fits my old dude personality quote well." He said as he sighed into his cup of coffee.
There he goes with the self doubt again, it made me want to shake him hard and make him see what a huge idiot he was.
"No silly, I meant that name suited you in a good way." He looked thoroughly confused, not able to comprehend how that was possible.... maybe he really hated his name. Well time for me to change that.
"Dev means god right, though that's not what you are. It fits with the essence of you. You're pure, and you have this comforting aura around you." As my words sank in, it seemed to dawn on him that what I was saying was right (like it always was.)
"So yeah, that name totally suits you." I shrugged, smiling at him. He seemed satisfied with my explanation, so he argued no further.
We both slipped into a comfortable silence, he sipped on his coffee his eyes not focused on anything in the room but something that seemed to be far away. Perhaps looking at something that nobody but he could see.
I looked into my empty cup of coffee, contemplating getting another cup of coffee. The thoughtful silence that enveloped us didn't feel strange, I did not feel the need to strike up a conversation with him….and it felt nice.
For once I didn't have to fake what I felt, and the man sitting in front of me didn't seem to mind that I didn't want to strike up trivial conversations, he understood my need for silence.
As I made the brave decision of getting another shot of the disgusting yet energizing coffee, Dev's gaze snapped up to meet mine "Gauhar, do you want another cup of coffee?"
I gasped out loud as I heard his question. Bringing both my hands to my mouth to hide my surprise (and bar any openings for the entry of flies in my mouth)
"Oh my goodness Dev get out!!!" I nearly screamed out in alarm, just 'nearly' though because I didn't want to get kicked out of the hospital for disrupting their perfect silence. Though this place was far from silent, I still wouldn't risk it.
"Huh… uhm Miss why should I get out? Did I do something to displease you?" he asked, looking equally as alarmed as I looked. His eyebrows had furrowed into a confused frown, forming line on his forehead.
I couldn't help but narrow my eyes at him, was he playing innocent now? If so, he was great at acting innocent because I was completely fooled "Are you purposely acting dumb? Because Dev if you are, I'm gonna get really angry….and my anger is NOT pleasant. Tell me, be honest, how the heck did you get into my head?"
"G-get into your head?" his eyes widened considerably as he uttered the words, his face turning red. He looked down and ran a hand through his brown hair that glinted almost golden under the hospital lights.
I couldn't help but be confused by his behavior, the flush on his cheeks, and the way he had averted his eyes made me feel almost as if he were…blushing? But why on earth would he suddenly start blushing?
"Um Gauhar, I can't help it if I'm in your head now can I?" he looked up at me, clearing his throat and looking away as soon as he uttered those words.
Wasn't it too late to feel shy now. The damage was already done.
It was my turn to blush as I realized what meaning could be implied from my words, I ran a hand down my face in exasperation. Damn me and my weird ass mouth.
"Dev, I'm sorry. You misunderstand, I absolutely did not mean it like that. You are not in my head....well you did get into my head- but that's beside the point." I began speaking with my eyes closed, afraid to look up at him. When I opened one eye to see his face, he looked even more confused than I would look if someone tried to explain quadratic equations to me in Chinese.
He seemed to enjoy my discomfort as he leaned back into his chair and waited for me continue. The damned bugger.
I took in a deep breath and looked at him "What I meant was that...well, I did not mean it in THAT way…I was just bewildered that you knew I needed another cup of coffee without me telling it to you and.." I trailed away looking back into my empty cup of coffee, wishing that I could drown myself in the last dregs of it.
"In WHAT way did you mean it then Gauhar?" he asked, his eyes shining mischievously at me as his lips turned up in a boyish grin. I glared at him as he started laughing at my discomfort, seeing him carefree like that, I felt a smile form on my face despite myself.
"Anyway rest assured, I absolutely cannot read your mind. Though I admit it would be interesting to know what's going on in your head." He got up from the table picking up my empty cup of coffee.
I lobbed the empty wrapper of sugar at him as he started walking away, causing his shoulders to shake as he laughed. "Wait up Dev, I don't trust you anymore, what if you add something suspicious in my coffee." I ran towards him to keep up with his long strides
"Ah paranoia messing with your head I see. I would never add anything strange to your drinks Miss Siddique." He assured me in his most professional voice, but the grin on his face completely ruined the effect
"Now that I think about it, my coffee did taste a bit weird." I mused as I poured the coffee into coffee into my cup. "That's why I have been acting weird all this time, I should have known that the coffee was wonky."
I expected him to get flustered, but was incredibly disappointed as I watched him calmly pour coffee into his cup "That Miss Siddique is where you are wrong, you don't need anything to be added to your coffee to behave weirdly. It's all a part of your natural charm."