"Smiling does not necessarily mean that you are happy, sometimes it just means that that you are strong."
-Anonymous
(So flex that strength of your facial muscles and SMILE!!!)
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Gauhar's POV
"Well Miss Siddique, I was wondering if you would like to grab a cup of coffee with me…" he was staring intently at his polished leather shoes, refusing to meet my eye. The tips of his ears had turned red, but the expression on his face was hidden by the hair that had fallen onto his eyes.
"Are you… are you asking me out Mr. Maurya?" I raised an eyebrow at him, placing my hands behind my back and bending to get a good look at his face.
I couldn't help but tease him as I noticed the tips of his ears turn redder. It felt as if I was teasing a harmless little kitten, it was strange to see that a tall and strong man like him could be as shy and gentle as him.
Maybe that was the reason why I felt at ease in his company, although the circumstances we were in were far from ideal. I was happy that he was here.
I slowly walked towards him, wanting to see the way his face had turned red, but he turned his face away as I came closer. I was disappointed but this small hurdle couldn't deter me.
"NOW you're being shy, after what you've just said, I don't think you are allowed to be shy Mr. Mishra. You didn't even take into account the fact that we are at a hospital." I clicked my tongue and shook my head in mock disdain "And you're going to back away without knowing my answer?"
His eyes flew up towards me in shock, his face as red as a ripe tomato. Now that I think about it, he did look a bit like a tomato with his disheveled dark brown hair. Albeit a very chiselled and masculine tomato but a tomato nonetheless.
I knew very well what he had meant by the question. But looking at his flustered face was strangely endearing and made me want to tease him further "Don't you think this a bit forward of you? Seeing how this is the first time that we have been together outside of work and my father is in the operation theatre. I wouldn't say ideal circumstances for a date…chances of you getting accepted have reduced by a margin of ninety percent."
"N-no no Miss Siddique it is not like that at all. I did not mean it that way, please pardon me!" he spluttered, his eyes as wide as saucers and his face quickly surpassing red and acquiring the dark colour of a typical piece of pepperoni. He ran a hand down his face, clutching the bridge of his nose as he let out a deep breath, still insisting on averting his eyes from me.
"Well that was quick Mr. Mishra, nice way to turn back on your words once you noticed that your chances were low. That's not how a man behaves is it... tsk tsk sad." I shook my head at him, trying hard not to laugh at the express of utter despair on his face.
"I didn't think of it that way miss, I absolutely did not want to hurt your feelings. I know this is highly unprofessional of me. But please know that I'm very ashamed." His eyes pleaded with me as he looked close to almost crying.
I felt sad to see him distressed so I took pity on him and decided that I'd restrain myself from any further bullying.
I couldn't suppress the grin that formed on my face as I saw the quiet and reserved man get flustered like a high school boy. Indeed appearances were deceptive and he wasn't as collected he appeared, as I was quickly finding out "Don't worry Mr. Mishra it's alright. I know you didn't mean it that way, don't worry."
Mr. Mishra didn't seem to be remotely comforted by my words. In fact it felt as if he wasn't paying any attention to them at all as he continued "I would never be so unprofessional as to ask something so outrageous of you miss. Please pardon me, I meant for us to go drink some coffee because you looked stressed… and- and I thought it would help calm you down a bit…."
"Shhh stop freaking out Mr. Mishra." I reached up to place a hand on his shoulder to calm him down a bit, but the way his widened it had the exact opposite effect of what I had intended "For your unforgivable transgression, we will devise fitting punishment for you."
"P-punishment?" he asked looking slightly afraid. I wondered what extreme forms of punishment he was imagining to have gotten as white as he was now. It seemed as if he was practically seeing a ghost.
Though I know that I was looking nothing short of a ghost myself, with my dirty clothes and tear stained face. On second thoughts, it would perhaps be better to describe me as a zombie, I mused to myself. I had no idea that I was looking bad enough to elicit that reaction from him, but then I had no misconceptions about how I looked.
His reaction was pretty justified for all I knew.
I know I could look frightening enough to scare the toughest of souls….given enough time and neglect. But Mr. Mishra's eyes weren't trained on me, in fact they seemed to be trained on something that appeared to be present directly behind my head. I felt a chill pass down my spine as I turned around to check who or rather what it could possibly be.
Hoping that it wasn't anything scary, or I'd really hate embarassing myself in front of Mr Mishra by squealing like a banshee.
But I felt mildly disappointed when I wasn't able to see anything behind me, I took in a calmingbreath and let it out, surprised that my heart had started racing in anticipation "There is nothing behind me to be afraid of Mr. Mishra. Whatever you're seeing is most probably not real." I tried to smile reassuringly at him, sincerely hoping he wasn't hallucinating. Because then there wasn't anything I could do to help.
"What I am seeing?" he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, apparently not able to comprehend what I was saying.
I was quite sure I had not spoken in gibberish, though I was quite fluent in that language, but Mr. Mishra's face hadn't assumed the expression that appeared on most of the people who heard me speak it. In short he didn't look worried for my sanity, in fact he looked as if he was afraid of his own sanity, which was a first for anyone in my company.
Maybe my madness was coming out to be contagious.
"Yes, Mr. Maurya. What you are seeing." I affirmed, nodding my hade gravely.
"Miss Siddique, I am not seeing anything except you. I have no idea what you are talking about. But this affirms my belief that you really need that cup of coffee that I was talking about." He seemed to have composed himself from the shock of whatever he had seen (I was still quite sure it was me), because he now placed his hands in his pockets and started walking towards what I presumed was where the coffee was.
I was surprised he knew where the cafeteria was, since we had come here he had not left my side for once, and I was as clueless as a child would be when he gets lost in the amusement park. I wondered when he had checked the place out, the hospital was not a place where you generally chose to hangout…soo I wasn't too sure about the fact that he might have been here before.
"How do you know where the cafeteria is Mr. Mishra? Do you come here often? You seem to know where you're going." I blurted out, cringing internally for asking the last two questions which made me look like an even bigger idiot than what I presume he thought I already was.
"No Miss I don't hang out here often, contrary to what it might appear this in fact the first time I have been to this place." He chuckled to himself "I can read the boards here which direct us towards the cafeteria, and hence I know where I am going." He pointed towards the board that was hanging above us, giving directions for the various departments of the hospital and also surprise surprise, the cafeteria.
"Oh…" was all I could say as his words managed to make me feel dumber than I had ever expected myself to feel. This was a new low for me, which was impressive. But in my defense I was hardly paying any attention to my surroundings, there were a lot more pressing matters that I had occupied my mind.
As soon I was reminded of why I had come here, the brief respite from my dark thoughts ended and all my misgivings and fears swiftly returned. Wiping off the smile that had formed on my face..