Ananya's p.o.v.
"Sorry?" I asked anxiously. I have already started getting bad vibes.
"Ananya I don't know how to say but.. actually..." Rahul started blabbering.
"Come to the point." I am losing my patience.
"I can't do this engagement. I can't marry you."
As those shot my ears the next moment I can feel my right hand go automatically on his left cheek. I started trembling in anger.
"Do l look like a fun element to you?"
"Ananya I'm sorry.."
"Shut up. Are you joking with me? Now I understood the reason behind your weird behavior for the last some days."
I just couldn't able to find out any words to say. I mean what the.
"You didn't want this engagement from the first and you were just waiting for the right moment and what can be more perfect than this moment when both of our family and all the guests are waiting for us to get engaged after some minutes? Yeah, you have chosen the perfect time." I said sarcastically.
"It's not like that Ananya."
"Then what Rahul? Wait. I think I forced you to marry me. Yeah, it's me. It's my fault."
"No Ananya it's not your fault."
"Ok let me guess then. Oh yeah, I think you felt pity on me."
"I was confused. I wasn't able to decide anything. I was jus-just totally feeling stupid and started behaving stupid and .."
I was broken. Again.
"Why Rahul why? Did I force you or anything like that? You could simply tell me. You could simply reject the proposal. At least you could inform me. Can you explain?"
"Ananya I don't know what happened to me at that time. I should have told you. I wasn't sure what to do and just let all this happen. But slowly I realized that I like you as a friend but not as a lover, I mean I never grew that type of feeling or anything like that for you. But instead of telling you I have acted like a coward. Even today I was going to do the same but .."
"But what?"
Rahul turned towards someone and by following his eyes I saw the man from today's morning.
"Then I talked to Arjun in the morning and he cleared all of my confusion like a true friend."
"Cleared all confusion means? Wait. Is he the reason you are denying it? Is he brainwashing you against me?"
"Ananya are you out of your mind? Why would he brainwash me against you when he doesn't even know you properly?"
"I don't know. But he.."
"Ananya please now you are overthinking.."
"And overreacting too." Someone cut in and it's Arjun, his so-called bloody true friend.
"What do you think of yourself? Just because he hasn't agreed to do an engagement with you, you can't slap him or accuse anyone of breaking your engagement. And come on it's just an engagement, not a big deal.."
"What? Not a big deal!! Yes... it's a big deal for me, Mr. Arjun. I love..."
No, I have to be strong in front of them. It's of no use to say this now rather it'll make me look more weak, more loser.
" He is denying the engagement when everything has been fixed up, all the arrangements, our family, guests, all the expenses.. 1 sec it's not a big deal for you as maybe you are also one of those typical spoilt brats lives on your parent's money.."
"Shut up. Just.shut.up. What do you know about me? You know what at first I was feeling bad for you but now I think breaking engagement with you is his best decision."
"Guys stop it, please." Rahul intervened.
"Ananya, trust me he hasn't said anything like that or tried to brainwash me. After knowing about my feelings he just suggested to me if I don't love you I shouldn't pretend to love you or shouldn't let this loveless marriage happen. And I think he was right. See none of us will be happy in this marriage. So.."
I sighed. I was feeling so helpless suddenly.
"How easily you said... Yes, your friends are right, only I am wrong. It's all my fault. Let's just inform all. They are waiting."
And I just left that place.
In the hall, I faced Dadi first.
"Anu, where were you I was looking for you. What happened beta? Why are you crying? I know Rahul hasn't arrived yet maybe he has got stuck on the way. Don't worry he will arrive soon."
"He has already arrived Dadi."
"What? Then where is he? Have you met him? Ask him to come to the hall. It's already late for the engagement."
"No engagement is gonna happen, Dadi."
"Ok. But we. WHAT?"
At night...
Why Mamma why? Why do these all happen to me always, again and again? Why everyone leaves me like this? Am I that bad?
I loved him so much, since our
childhood. Ok, maybe it was one-sided. He could tell me that. But instead, he went on with giving me hope of loving me, marrying me, keeping me happy my whole life, and being with me always. And I went on believing him.
I sighed. My sweet dreams turned into my worst nightmare.
Actually, he was right. It was all my fault. I became so greedy for having a family of my own that I couldn't see the truth.
Mammmaaa. I need you. I can't take all this anymore. I am sick of this. I am not as strong as you. I am lost.
Mamma, I want to touch you, to feel your warmth, to take your sweet smell, I just wanna sleep in your lap and forget everything.
Why mamma why? Can't you come for once at least for one damn time to your Anu? Why are you so cruel?
"Anu, open the door, please. I am so worried for you, my kid. Please come out. It has been a long time You haven't taken anything. Please eat something. Anu!!"
"Dadi. Please leave me alone for some time. I beg you. I don't wanna do anything now. Please go from here now."
She left. I need some time for me and she might have understood that. She is such an understanding person. She never forces me for anything and always gives me space.
Thinking about her something ignited in me. And that is telling me that I have to be strong not for me but at least for Dadi. If I break down like this the person who will get hurt most is Dadi.
Both of us are each other's strengths. I won't let that strength loose so easily. I know it's going to be so tough for me to move on but nothing is impossible. Nothing.
I embraced Mamma's photograph more tightly so that my soul can absorb all the power reflecting from that sweet smiling face.