Chapter 38 - Let Me Go

But what's going on now? The room was very quiet. So quiet that the only thing that could be heard were his and JingYuan's breathing. Gods, his unreliable family actually just left him to JingYuan without care. Really? It didn't occur to YiHan to consider just who was the one who insisted to clinging on to JingYuan's clothes. But even if he let go, JingYuan had no plans on letting him go.

What should he do now? Play dead? That's a good plan!

Nevertheless, reality was cruel. Because of YiHan's body locking up, JingYuan had noticed he wasn't mad with hysteria anymore.

"HanHan, how do you feel? Do you want some water?" JingYuan asked.

"…"

There was no way to keep playing dead. All YiHan could do was look up, but he didn't dare look into JingYuan's eyes. Upon realising he was still sitting in JingYuan's lap, he hurried to get on his feet.

"I'm fine. I'll be okay once I sleep. You can head back," came a rush of garbled words.

JingYuan held YiHan��s wriggling body tightly. He turned YiHan's head around until he was looking straight into YiHan's eyes. Sadness flashed across his eyes.

"HanHan, can you tell me why you're angry? Why are you so angry to the point of ignoring me? What are you unsatisfied with? Please tell it to me straight?" JingYuan said.

Forced to gaze into the eyes of the man he loved, YiHan's weak heart thumped and raced. When he saw the hurt in JingYuan's eyes, his heart ached in anguish. All he could do was stammer.

"I-I'm fine. I-It's just…I was in a bad mood before. I threw my anger around. It's all my fault. I-I won't do it again." Don't worry. I've decided never to throw a temper tantrum with you again. I'll be good. So, please don't leave me again. Just let me be able to look at you.

JingYuan did not look happy as YiHan had thought he would. Instead, he hugged YiHan tight in his arms.

"Little fool, who wants your apology? No matter what you do, my little prince, you never need to apologise," he said, pain in his voice. Just who scared his roaring tiger cub into a quivering little rabbit? Feng Qun? Then, be prepared to bear the full brunt of his rage!

YiHan dryly chuckled. No need to apologise? You certainly don't need apologies. You'll just turn away and leave. Never to return. Even if I'm being humiliated, even if I die in a miserable corner all alone, you'll never look back at me. Leaving me to die a restless ghost.

YiHan was stunned. His heart wasn't really empty of hate. He hated his family for not believing him. Even in his most painful moments, they weren't willing to lend a hand. He hated JingYuan for spoiling him rotten yet left without hesitation. But what right did he have to hate? Everything happened because of his arrogance and stupidity. All the bitter fruits he reaped could only go down his throat. No one in this world was obliged to love him, to spoil him, for his whole life.

A few more chuckles escaped YiHan's throat. He tried once more to reach the ground, but JingYuan's embrace only grew tighter. All he heard was JingYuan's voice.

"HanHan, are you still angry with me?" he asked.

YiHan let out a weak sigh. "N-No," he mumbled.

JingYuan's voice was filled with bitter agony. "You still deny it. If you aren't, why would you push me away? Just what should I do to soothe your fury? Tell me, please?"

"I'm really not. Let me go," YiHan said in a helpless, dejected tone.

JingYuan finally let go and YiHan swiftly hopped to the ground. When YiHan turned around, he was petrified. JingYuan's face was filled with torment and pain which he'd been unable to hide in time.

YiHan's heart ached even further. Overwhelmed, he raised his hand to caress JingYuan's face. When it was halfway in the air, something struck his mind and he hurriedly withdrew his hand. But JingYuan who'd been focusing on him caught it. JingYuan looked at the boy trying to hide from him. With a pained smile, he changed the topic.

"Do you want some water?" he asked.

"Ah, right. I'm thirsty. I'll have some," YiHan rushed out. In a panicked frenzy, he grabbed a bottle from the table without looking to see what it was, pulled out the cork and poured its contents straight into his mouth.