"What?" Will asked. "I said no," I clarified. "Maria...." He dragged out. "What? You stole me from my life and now your pushing me away?" I asked. "Will, how many times do I have to make the same decision, how many times do you want me to say it?" I asked.
"How do you think this is gonna gonna end, huh?" He asked. His voice turning more serious. "Did you ever think about that? Do you want to end up in prison, that shits not a joke. It's a real fucked up place and if you stick with me that's were you'll end up," He said.
"There has to he other ways than committing crimes, right? I mean I know this was probably your last resort but there has to be something," I said. "Maria, stop," He said. "This can't be the only way, what about you! How do you think think this is going to end? It doesn't even make sense! You have your siblings, right? Aren't you going-" I cut myself off. It clicked in my head.
He caught the realization in my eyes looking downward in shame. "You were never planning to back, were you? This was a suicide mission, you were never planning to go back to them. You were fully prepared to go to prison, right? Do whatever is takes to make them enough money and then-then lock yourself away for good. Jesus, Will," I cried out.
"Will, you can't possibly be serious. She's fourteen," I said. "You just had to lay out basic instructions for her, and what about the sick one? Have you thought this through? Will, they need you," I said. His gaze was still downward. He was chewing the inside of his lip angrily as I spoke. "There has to be-No there fucking isn't! You don't think I thought about it? You don't think I've tried? I've tried everything. You name it i've tried it. Nothing. Nothing, will ever make enough!" He yelled.
"Fuck Maria! Do you know how much a kidney transplant cost? Out of pocket-no insurance? Its four hundred thousand dollars, you don't know the things I had to do to get that money, fuck and when I did it wasn't enough, he needs anti-rejection drugs to make sure the kidney works. Its fifteen hundred a dose and the fucking hospital bills. You think this was my first choice? You think I want to leave my fourteen year old sister and ten year old brother alone? You think I chose this because I wanted too? I thought about it real nice and hard for while and everyday I sat in the hospital watching him get sicker was another day lost, another day he could have been getting better, he's ten for fucks sake! He doesn't belong in a hospital, he belongs outside, playing around like other ten year old boys," He poured out, his voice raw, filled with emotion.
"Let me help you get the money, yeah? You don't have to do this alone, Will. Let me help you," I said placing my hand on his forearm.
He stared downward, trying to collect his emotions. He was trying to hide them. I spoke softly, "How were you getting money before?" I asked. He turned his head away. "Its okay, I won't judge you. Maybe we can figure out a way to do it again yeah? We already got thirty grand and then some. We only need a few more bucks to cover it all, right? How much medicine does he need? How much longer are is he in the hospital? He already got the surgery, Will. You don't have to go out like this, just let me help you," I said.
"I'm begging you Maria. Please go home. You don't deserve this," He said still staring downward. I chewed my lip. "Do you really want me gone?" I asked. He said nothing. "Look me in the eye and tell me you want me gone. Tell me you don't even want to consider a life were you go back to them," I said.
"Look me in the eye and tell me," I said.
He lifted his head up and we locked eyes. His brows were furrowed in worry and distress.
"You really want this?" He asked. The question seemed double sided. I nodded. "Okay Maria," He said defeated. He started the car and pulled out the parking spot.
-
The windows were down and we rode in comfortable silence, well except for the blaring radio.
I did some wrong (Oh, oh), but I'm always right (Oh, oh)
I laid my head on the open window sill feeling the cool breeze as we drove through Vegas.
Said I know how to shoot (Oh, oh) and I know how to fight
I looked over at Will, he arm was hanging outside his window. I was seeing him in a different light, a more vulnerable light. He was robber and a criminal but he was doing it for his siblings, he wasn't really a bad person.
If I tell you once, won't tell you twice
I'm real discreet, like a thief in the night (Look)
The song seemed a bit ironic. A thief. Yeah we were thieves.
If I call you bae, you bae for the day
Or a bae for the night, you not my wife
She want a killer to fuck all night
Will glanced at me like he always did. His face was calm. Wind flying through his hair as he gripped the steering wheel with one hand.
I wanna fuck on a thot, gimme head all night
I didn't stop myself from looking at his arm. His muscler arm was flexing as he drove the car. It was a little veiny, really toned. I trailed my eyes down to his hand. His hands were big, thick fingers. But they were also so pretty. Why did he have to be so perfect?
He turned the car into the same hotel parking lot he tried to leave me at, the Holiday Inn. After grabbing the loose cash and some clothes from the back we both went together and got room, it the second floor. It was better than the motels but not by much.
It was bigger, it had a small living room with a couch and a tv. It also had a little balcony. And like always, one bed.
"Did you wanna order food?" I asked trying to lighten up the mood. Things had gotten pretty heavy.
Will ignored me walking passed and sitting down on the couch. He snatched the remote and turned on the tv to some sports channel. "Hey! I don't wanna watch sports," I said trying to bring some liveliness back. "Doesn't matter. First person to get the remote gets to control the tv," He said. Ah, there he was.
I let it go. We deserved some peace. I wasn't even gonna ask him what was next. I was really hungry, I was just gonna find something to eat.
"I think I saw a carryout next to the hotel. Want anything?" I asked. He stayed quiet. I just let it go.
I just turned my heal and left the room. I was planning on getting enough food for the both of us anyway.
-
I unlocked the door holding the bag of Chinese food carryout. I used some of the loose cash.
When I entered the room I was met with a shirtless Will. His back was facing me, I don't think he heard me come in. A white towel hung low on his waist. And he was using a smaller white towel to dry his hair. He took a shower while I was gone.
I stared at his back. The three slashes looked worse up close. I placed the food down on the coffee table. Before I knew it, I was stepping closer, my feet betraying me until I was close enough to touch. My finger met one of the scars, trailing it.
Will jumped turning around. "What the hell?" He asked. "What happened?" I asked. "What?" He asked. "Your back, what happened?" I asked. "When the hell did you come in?" He asked. "Just now, Will answer my question," I said. He said nothing, he only stared me down.
My breath hitched once I realized where I stood. Up close to a shirtless wet Will, he was towering over me. Staring downward, I couldn't read his thoughts.
"Why do you care?" He asked. I could see it, the barely there smirk tugging on the corner of his mouth. He was insufferable. "Not-I don't-it just looks painful-like it was painful," I said. "Sorry I asked," I said breaking away from his stare. My cheeks were warming up.
He turned his head towards the coffee table. "What'd you buy?" He asked. "Chinese food," I said. "I didn't know what you wanted so I got a couple of things," I explained.
"Cool, let me change and I'll be right out," He said. "No! You don't have to change in there-I mean-shit-I'm leaving again, I'm going down to grab a few toiletries. The hotel has a store," I said. He stared at me while I made a mess of myself.
I was blushing again. I turned around and made my way to the door again. Fuck, why were things getting so awkward?
Keep your head together Maria. Just go get the toiletries maybe some other clothes cause I doubt whatever else he bought was comfortable.
Then when you come back, ask him what the next move is.
I took a deep breath. He was shirtless and so close. I was starting to get more and more effected. I closed the door behind me and leaned back against it. Pull it together, he was a womanizer right? He may have not been a bad person but he was not a good guy. Keep it together.