Chapter One: Whoops—We Muggle Baited Your Cousin
Harish Blake was beside himself with glee once the holidays actually started. He went over to the twins' house a couple weeks after they returned home to retrieve Sirius. Then, they went to Slytherin manor. To Harish's surprise, Sirius actually got on pretty well with Voldemort. The Gryffindor seemed to forget who the man really was, as he had changed so drastically over the past fourteen years.
Harish talked to Sirius and sent letters to Hermione, explaining to the both of them how he had helped spread rumors that Hermione was Sirius's daughter and the three of them agreed that Hermione should be magically adopted by Sirius in order to protect her. Sirius didn't mind at all, thinking it was some sort of joke. Hermione, on the other hand, had been really worried that her parents would be upset at first. Then Harish had explained to them why it was so important that Hermione be known as the daughter of Sirius Black in the Wizarding World. So, he sent Hermione a potion to take via his father's owl, Augustus, and Hermione took it.
On top of that, Voldemort had stayed true to his word the year before and bought them tickets for the Quidditch World Cup. It wasn't a big stretch to change the tickets for three to tickets for four. Voldemort was actually kind of glad that Sirius was going to the World Cup with his son, so they would be chaperoned at least a little.
Harish also didn't mind the presence of his godfather, as he wanted to get to know the man anyway. Normally he would have kicked up a fuss, saying that they could do well enough on their own, as they were almost sixteen and had passed their OWL's.
As it turned out, the Weasleys had gotten tickets to the World Cup as well. So, at five o'clock the week before they were going to arrive, Harish, Draco, and Sirius flooed to the Burrow. Draco was going to be staying with them at the tournament as well. His parents had been invited by the Minister, but they weren't staying any nights. They were just going to be there for the opening of the match.
Sirius was put under heavy disguises and was armed with a brand new wand. The Weasleys had asked about him (minus Ginny and the twins) and the Slytherins had all told them that the new man was Harish's uncle, Arata Blake.
A couple days after they arrived at the Burrow, Sirius woke Harish up early—well, it was early for the sixteen-year-old's standards. In reality it was only seven o' clock.
"Rise and shine!" Sirius exclaimed.
Harish moaned and buried his face in the pillow.
"Come on," his godfather whined. "The twins and Draco are already awake."
"Don't tell me you woke them up, too," Harish mumbled into his pillow.
"I won't say a word," Sirius said with a grin.
Harish split one eye open and looked at him. Then, with a heavy sigh, he sat up.
"Fine," he huffed. "I'm up. Now what do you want?"
"We are going sightseeing!" Sirius exclaimed.
Ten minutes later, Harish, Draco, and the twins were standing on the front lawn of the Burrow, dressed in Muggle attire. Sirius was marching back and forth in front of them.
"We are going to be observing Muggles today, boys," he was saying.
Draco was looking at the jeans he was wearing in disgust.
"You want me to wear trousers in public?" the fourteen-year-old boy whined. "That's barbaric!"
"No," Sirius replied. "It's blending in. Before you leave Hogwarts, you need to learn how to function in the Muggle World. If you go traipsing around in robes, the Muggles will get suspicious, endangering the Statue of Secrecy."
"Now," Sirius said with a grin. "Let's go!"
And he began walking briskly down the path to the village nearby. The twins followed eagerly and Harish and Draco followed more reluctantly. As they entered the village Harish and Draco gaped around, staring at the cars and the electricity.
"Rule one," Sirius said. "Don't gape. People will certainly notice if you do. Rule two, no comments about how different their society is. The word Muggle is a forbidden word in their world."
Then, Sirius walked up to the nearest Muggle.
"Excuse me," he said, tapping her on the shoulder. "I am new to town. Can you tell me where the nearest restaurant is?"
The woman nodded and pointed out a shop along the left side of the road. Sirius grinned.
"Come on, boys," he said.
They went inside the restaurant, which turned out to be something Sirius called a "Pizzeria". The five of them went inside, got a table, and each got some pizza. Both Harish and Draco, who had never tasted pizza before, were astonished.
"Who knew They could make such good food!" Draco exclaimed happily.
"I don't think I have ever eaten something with so much grease!" Harish added.
Sirius laughed at them. The twins were too busy stuffing their faces to do anything.
Then, they began to talk in low voices about Sirius. As almost everyone in the Burrow didn't know Sirius was innocent, they could not ever mention his name while they were there. So, the five of them took the advantage to talk about what Sirius was going to do about the Ministry.
"You should just make your disguise permanent," Harish suggested. "Then you wouldn't have to worry about reapplying spells."
"I don't know…" Sirius replied hesitantly.
"Don't worry, Sirius," Draco said in a joking manner. "You're new appearance is just as handsome as your previous one."
"Do you think so?" the man asked over dramatically, sweeping a hand through his shoulder-length, dark brown hair.
The color of it resembled Harish and his father's. As Harish had pale green eyes, and Voldemort's had pale blue one's, they kept Sirius's eyes the same color, but altered the shape of them to the same as the Dark Lord's. Another thing about the disguise, was that Sirius had completely lost his shrunken, haunted, unkempt look. Harish personally preferred the new one over the old one.
"No," Sirius finally said. "I would miss my old appearance. It isn't too much of a hassle to apply glamours while we're out in public."
Harish pouted at the fact that his idea was turned down.
The five of them soon threw away their trash and got up to pay for their meal at the front counter. When the man working there said how it would cost, Sirius frantically searched his pockets before he realized that he had no Muggle money. Then, the muttered, "Confundus," and the man's eyes glazed over. Then he quietly wiped his memory.
Sirius rushed them out of the shop and they were so afraid someone would know that Sirius Black did magic in Ottery St. Catchpole, that they didn't notice the small family of three standing outside the restaurant until Harish walked straight into them.
"What do you think you're doing?" the man asked.
He was largely obese with a thick, toothbrush mustache and small, beady eyes. His son was even more obese, and was looking at them with his little piggy eyes. The man's wife stood behind her husband. She was tall and thin. She had a horse-like face and large, bony hands.
"Sorry," Harish said sarcastically. "I didn't see you there."
Draco snorted. It was a wonder that was even possible, they were so large.
The man huffed, turning purple and opened his mouth to say something. His wife was staring at Harish unpleasantly, looking him up and down. She was making a face as if she had just swallowed a particularly sour lemon. It was impossible to tell which face held more disgust; Harish's or the woman's.
Then, the twins dropped tons of candies, that were in their pockets. They began scrambling to pick them up, and stuffed them in their pockets. Harish knew what those candies were, but he didn't say anything.
Before the pig of a Muggle could say anything, Sirius grabbed Harish's shoulders and steered him away from the family. Then, behind them, they could hear a gagging sound. They all turned to see the obese boy bent over, gagging and sputtering on a foot-long, purple, slimy thing that was protruding from his mouth—his tongue. The twins fought of grins and Harish watched with interest. Sirius looked like he was about to pass out from panic, but Draco simply looked confused.
"Oh," Sirius said weakly. "He must've—must've had an allergic reaction to the sweet…uh…"
The woman had fallen to the ground and was clutching her son, trying to pry his arms away from his head.
"Dudley! Diddykins!" she squealed. "Diddykins, what's wrong?"
Harish was now fighting off laughter as well. People all along the street were stopping to stare.
"Here!" Sirius said, finding something for Dudley to eat. "Make him eat this—it's anti-swelling!"
The obese man threw himself in front of his wife, shielding her and his son from view.
"Now really!" Sirius exclaimed. "I'm trying to help!"
"You can fix him?" the man growled, jabbing a meaty finger to his son.
Sirius nodded. The man moved his wife after she had just managed to pry Dudley's hands from his face. His tongue was huge now. Sirius managed to get him to eat whatever he had pulled out of his robes and while the boy was chewing, Sirius discreetly cast a spell that made the tongue shrink back into the boy's mouth.
Then, he grabbed Harish and the twins and rushed them out of the town, Draco straggling along behind. On the pathway to the Burrow, Sirius was muttering, "That was close…that was really close…"
"What?" Harish asked. "We didn't even know them. I don't think they could tell we were wizards. You did some pretty good acting."
"That's not what we would need to worry about," Sirius said.
"What do you mean? I thought we went there to learn how to blend in, in the first place."
"I mean, she already knows about magic!" Sirius replied quietly.
"What?" All four boys asked.
"That was your Aunt, Harry. Your mother's sister."
"My mother's…?"
"Yes, Petunia. She never liked magic. She thought that any person who was able to perform magic was some sort of freak."
"So that was why she was looking at me like that!" Harish exclaimed. "She must have recognized me!"
"Exactly," Sirius replied.
A couple days later, two more Weasleys arrived. One of them was Charlie. He had been one of the one's that had kicked up a fuss when the twins were sorted into Slytherin. He didn't look much different—just a bit more freckled and his hands were now hard and calloused. The other one was most likely the oldest Weasley brother, Bill. He had long red hair, tied back in a ponytail. He had a dragon-tooth earing and dragon hide boots. Harish decided that he liked Bill. He was much more laid back than Ron, Percy, and Charlie.
Then, that evening Neville Longbottom arrived. He was invited by Ron. The Weasleys had bought him tickets to the cup since Harish's father had already bought tickets for the twins.
The next day, they all ate dinner out in the garden. Bill and Charlie moved two large tables outside, where they were draped in table cloths and laden down with food. Then, once everyone was seated, conversation bounced back and forth.
"I'm almost done with my report," Percy stated to no one in particular (since no one wanted to listen).
"Oh yes, your report for cauldron bottoms," Ron said sarcastically. "It'll change the world, it will."
Percy frowned, his ears turning very red.
A little further down the table, Mr. Weasley was saying, "This year's cup is going to be Ireland versus Bulgaria. Ludo Bagman helped to get us such good tickets. I did him a bit of a favour: His brother, Otto got into a spot of trouble—a lawnmower with unnatural powers—I smoothed the whole thing over."
"Oh, yes Bagman has no trouble getting Quidditch tickets," Percy said, "but how he ever got to be Head of Department…when I compare him to Mr. Crouch! I can't see him losing a member of our department and not trying to find out what's happened to them. You realize Bertha Jorkins had been missing for a month…"
"Mr. Crouch," Fred said, leaning over to Harish. "Percy worships him."
"Always 'Mr. Crouch...' this and 'Mr. Crouch…' that."
"…Yes, I was asking Ludo about that," Mr. Weasley was saying, frowning. "He says Bertha resigned. Sent in a letter…"
"She was on vacation!" Percy said. "What reason did she have to resign? She never even came in to the office to resign...And especially resigning while we're setting up a big organization."
Percy cleared his throat significantly and looked down the table to where the twins were sitting. "You know which one I'm talking about, Father." He raised his voice slightly. "The top-secret one."
The twins both rolled their eyes and George leaned over muttering, "He's been trying to get us to ask what it is all summer."
"Oh, that?" Draco asked. "I know what it is…I'll tell you later…"
In the middle of the table, Mrs. Weasley was arguing with Bill about his earring.
"..with a horrible fang on it too. Really, Bill, what do they say at the bank?"
Mum, no one at the bank gives a damn how I dress as long as I bring home plenty of treasure," Bill replied patiently.
"And your hair's getting silly, dear," Mrs. Weasley said, fingering her wand. "I wish you'd let me give it a trim…"
"I like it," Ginny said; she was sitting beside Bill. "You're so old fashioned, Mum. Anyway, it's nowhere near as long as Professor Dumbledore's…"
On the right side of them, Ron and Charlie were talking animatedly about Quidditch.
"It's got to be Ireland," Charlie said thickly through a mouthful of potato. "They flattened Peru in the semifinals."
"Bulgaria has got Victor Krum, though," Ron replied.
"Krum's one decent player, Ireland has got seven," Charlie said shortly. "I wish England had got through. That was embarrassing, that was."
On Bill's left, the twins were talking with Sirius about pranks and joke products.
"So Harish tells me that the three of you are pranksters," Sirius said. The twins nodded. "It kind of reminds me of myself, James, and Remus. We got into so much trouble when we were at Hogwarts ourselves. I remember one time we got detention on the first day of the term one year for putting Whizzing Worms in Snape's trunk. Before he found them, he had thought that it was on fire…"
"Yeah we're making joke products," Harish told his new godfather.
"Really?" Sirius asked, looking astounded.
"Really," the twins replied.
"We've been having trouble naming them though," Fred said.
"We thought of calling them Weasley's Wizard Wheezes—"
"But Harish isn't a Weasley…"
"What about Weasley and Company? It has a nice ring to it," Sirius suggested.
"Weasley and Co. huh?" Harish asked.
"What are you planning on doing with your joke products?" Sirius asked.
"Well, first we are going to sell them at Hogwarts," Harish said.
"And then we're gonna start a joke shop," the twins said in unison.
The garden grew dark soon and Mr. Weasley conjured up candles to light the table. Then, they ate homemade strawberry ice cream, and by the time they had finished, moths were fluttering low over the table, and the warm air was perfumed with the smells of grass and honeysuckle. As everyone was growing sleepy, Mr. Weasley looked at his watch.
"Look at the time," he said. "You children should be in bed—the whole lot of you. You'll be up at the crack of dawn to get to the Cup. Harish, if you leave your school list out, I'll get your things for you tomorrow in Diagon Alley. I understand Draco already has his? I'm getting everyone else's. There might not be time after the World Cup, the match went on for five days last time."
"Wow, I hope it does this time!" Harish said enthusiastically. Every child at the table was secretly hoping that it would last long enough for them to miss some school.
"Well, I certainly don't," Percy said with a sniff. "I shudder to think what the state of my in-tray would be if I was away from work for five days."
"Yeah, someone might slip dragon dung in it again, eh, Perce?" Fred asked.
"That was a sample of fertilizer from Norway!" Percy said, going very red in the face. "It was nothing personal!"
"It was," George muttered as they got up from the table. "We sent it."