Jaehyun, with all seriousness, faces Joochan and asks, "Tell me honestly. Do you like Minhee?"
"...Yes."
"Oh. Okay."
"What about you?"
"I do like her, too."
"Huh," Joochan hums. He already expected the response and yet it still ticks him off.
Silence envelops the Hong Manor, the snores of Minhee the only thing audible. Jaehyun and Joochan stays seated on the floor without a word, both mulling over each other's responses.
How did it come to this? Let's rewind a few hours back.
The gang had their nth meeting at Joochan's for their scheduled review sessions. Everything was smooth sailing: to both Joochan and Jaehyun's surprise, Minhee was absorbing each and every lesson quite well. Even Bomin, who was a year below the three, was dealing with his lessons well enough too with the help of his cousin.
"Hey, MM, you keep on getting better," Jaehyun complimented. "Your scores for the tests I made for you are improving. Great job."
"I expected no less from noona," Bomin grinned. "I believed in her from the start."
"Yeah, you were the only one," Minhee glared at her classmates.
Joochan closed his book and stretched out his arms. "At least you exceeded our expectations."
"You didn't have any."
"And you still surprised me."
Jaehyun cleared his throat. "MM, would you like to go over your mistakes today?"
Minhee nodded. "Yeah, of course."
Joochan tched as Minhee and Jaehyun huddled together while seated. His eyebrows furrowed when he noticed Jaehyun's careful yet quick glances on the girl. He even got more frustrated when he saw how Minhee was responding to him enthusiastically.
"You're poking holes through hyung's head with you death stare," Bomin whispered which scared the bajeezus out of him.
"Whatever."
Two hours went by fast as they studied more. It was already afternoon. The four already finished up to half the subjects included in the exams.
Minhee yawned, covering her mouth. "I think I've used up waaay too much brainpower. There are only two brain cells remaining and they're dancing to Psycho."
"We can have a short break," Jaehyun said.
"Okay. Don't bother me in my sleep."
Minhee fell asleep in seconds.
Bomin laughed. "Noona must have been fighting the sleep in her since an hour ago."
How adorable, Joochan thought to himself. It reminded him of the time he saw how peacefully she slept on his bed when she was there, sick.
"How are you doing, by the way?" Jaehyun asked his junior. "You need any help?"
"No, I'm fine hyung. Your notes last year are very detailed and comprehensive. It's more helpful than the textbook. You can sell this," Bomin suggested.
Jaehyun perked up. "Money..."
"And besides, Joochan hyung's the one who's been teaching me stuff, since you're busy keeping noona to yourself."
"Right..." Jaehyun didn't like the way Bomin said it.
"Anywho, I'm getting kinda hungry. You two want snacks?"
"No, I'm good," Jaehyun replied. Joochan only shook his head.
"Your loss. I'll be keeping your fridge company for a while, Joochan hyung!" Alas, Bomin left to be with his love interest.
Silence.
Awkward wasn't even enough to describe the atmosphere where Joochan and Jaehyun were. They were purposely trying to avoid looking at each other. Minhee still stayed asleep like a dead person.
Jaehyun finally spoke up. "I couldn't help but notice you staring at me. Do you like me?" He gasped theatrically.
"As if. I won't like the likes of you."
"And Minhee?"
Joochan blinked.
We go back to the present.
Jaehyun, with all seriousness, faces Joochan and asks, "Tell me honestly. Do you like Minhee?"
"...Yes."
"Oh. Okay."
"What about you?"
"I do like her, too." Jaehyun grins, but just on the outside.
"Huh."
Silence falls on the two again. They didn't know what to say next. What would be the right thing to say? Joochan stares at the sleeping figure of Minhee who is snoring soundly and Jaehyun flips the pages of his book, uninterested.
Jaehyun once again breaks the slience. "We won't be those cliche male leads falling for the same girl saying 'may the best man win' right?" He jests.
Joochan rolls his eyes at his joke. "Right."
"Okay."
"Good."
"..."
"..."
"...I'll go get a blanket for Minhee, it's cold." Joochan immediately stands up and proceeds to his bed.
Jaehyun sighs. "Yeah, I'll go and make some more practice questions for MM to answer."
Joochan comes back with the best blanket he could find in his house - not too thick that Minhee would sweat under, and not too thin that she would still feel the cold. He places the blanket over her with gentle fingers, careful to not wake her up.
"You two be cringy af." Bomin finally shows up before another moment of silence falls on the two. He heard their entire conversation. "I want to join, too."
"No, you shouldn't get in between our rivalry," Jaehyun jokes again.
"I have no plans in joining noona's reverse harem. This is supposed to be a love triangle only." Bomin rambles, yet he didn't quite understand what he just said. The two idiots laugh at their silly antics.
Joochan pays them no mind.
"Hyung, I wanna sleep too," Bomin whines.
"Then sleep."
"Can I take your bed?"
"Do whatever you want." Joochan made a shooing motion at his cousin. Bomin left the two of them alone again.
With nothing left to do, Joochan tries to continue from where he left off a while ago. But Jaehyun is doing the opposite. He is just staring at his classmate. Joochan is bothered.
"What? Why are you staring at me now?"
"I've been thinking," Jaehyun starts. "You said you like her. Why haven't you confessed yet? You two obviously like each other. Just kiss and be together, or something."
Joochan drops his book. "It's not that simple."
"Enlighten me."
"Why do I have to tell you?"
Jaehyun shrugs. "Because we're friends...?"
Joochan shakes his head. He isn't obliged to tell him his feelings. So why does he feel like wanting to? With another roll of his eyes and a sigh, Joochan agrees.
"I'm...scared. I feel guilty for what I've done to her in the past."
The past? Jaehyun wonders. What does that have to do with him confessing?
"I...was supposed to be her best friend, I should be there to comfort and protect her, but I ruined it," Joochan rants, his hands forming a fist. "All because of that bastard of a dad. I had to leave so suddenly. Or rather - I escaped. So I would be safe. It was selfish of me."
Jaehyun didn't know what to react. Mostly because he isn't getting the whole picture, but he stays silent.
"If I endured for just a little longer, I could have hugged the loneliness out of her when her parents suddenly passed away. But I made her all the more alone. I could have done something, anything..." Joochan fights the tears dying to get out.
"I felt so guilty - too guilty - that when I met her again during college, I didn't have the heart to become close to her again. And to apologize. Even though that was the one thing I wanted to do the most."
"...Wow," Jaehyun breathes. "That was a lot."
"I don't want to do the same thing I did to her in the past. What if I leave her lonely again? I didn't want that to happen. More so that we've reconnected. So the best option for me was to keep my feelings to myself."
"You done?"
Joochan lets out a deep breath. "Yeah. It felt good."
"I'm glad you told me that, it must have stressed you out a lot." Jaehyun smiles, tight-lipped. "Do you want to hear my thoughts?"
"If it helps."
"Hmm...I understand your feelings of guilt when you weren't able to be there for her when she needed it," Jaehyun starts and Joochan felt a pang in his heart. "But you need to stop blaming yourself. You said you were selfish. but I believe you were just trying to protect yourself from something that was clearly hurting you - and there isn't anything wrong in that. At least, that's what I got from your story."
"...I didn't think of it that way," Joochan mumbles.
"Also, worrying about the future is good. But in your mind I feel like you're actually already sure that you're going to hurt her again, which is wrong. You can't predict what the future is. Stop overthinking. You'll be wasting sacred time worrying about it."
Joochan crouches, as if into a ball. "I'm getting attacked and I don't like it."
Jaehyun snickers. "So just gain some balls and fucking confess your heart out, you idiot. And tell her all the stuff you just said to me."
"Okay, but why haven't you confessed yet, either?"
"Are you seriously asking that right now because if yes, I'm about to throw fists."
Joochan only laughs, thinking he was only joking, but is actually serious. Joochan didn't know.
Joochan was grateful he talked to Jaehyun. It gave him a new perspective of things. It was like realization hitting him on the face all over again. He didn't even expect that their conversation was going to be as good as it was.
"Hey, thank you for the therapy session."
Jaehyun nods. "You're welcome. I'll charge you for that."
"When did you become so obsessed with money?"
"Ever since I knew all my friends were well-off and I'm not."
The two boys go back to their books and notebooks alike, now in the mood for studying. Minhee and Bomin stay asleep, extending what was supposed to be a short break. But Jaehyun and Joochan didn't bother to wake them up. They both needed the rest.
With that conclusion, it's finally time for the examinations.