In the stretch of the last few days, she is behaving unusually peculiarly towards me as the time we spend together is all a phantasm. And I Don't even know what to do about this it's all changing so rapidly I can't even control my emotions neither what's happening around me.
I can feel all the transition about her after our last exam before passing the school and I also know you wouldn't believe me, after all, we have been in a lovey-dovey relationship for a year were talk among the capital, all the people were jealous of how we have such a sweet relationship and anybody who has seen us during this time had given us the tag of the golden couple, perfect match, couple star, etc. so you will also ask the same question as me how can she behave Bizzare towards me but believe me she is behaving weird towards me in the past few days. if I describe to you how she behaved towards me during the period of the last few days then you will surely trust me that my words are real.
It's all started the next day after our final exams were completed, the next morning, as usual, I messaged her good morning but I didn't get a reply but at that time I ignored her I thought she might be asleep so by seeing that she hasn't replied by 11:00 am I called her but after I called her. her way of talking made me outlandish It's like I am an enemy of her from god knows when for how many years and now she has just gained consciousness about all these memories from the past and it's flooding her brain now and she must take down me at any cost like I am his life long enemy. Such a fast mood swing during the call and after also as I tried contacting her in the next few days it's like a person is full of gunpowder the moment she opened the mouth and I don't know when it will explode but the sparks can see coming from it and the people surrounding it are ducking their head and waiting when it will explode and we are seeing that it will explode but just as we feel explode it stop and for a while then get ready to explode again I am unable to do anything against her when she is in this type of state.
And you wouldn't believe me if I say that till two days ago she was talking to me like she can't live without me we were behaving like a typical love bird and that was also the most amazing and beautiful memories in my short life and I also made a promise to her that I will always be there for her and our life was so full of love, I mean I love her to the core of my heart and she also loved me as I was her with everything that she has faced in last two years we spend together but today or now she is behaving I am invisible to her. I don't know why she is behaving like this, after all, we have faced so many problems together, so many ups and downs and also giving up so many chances in my life so you can understand so I hardened my resolve, as this is the only best thing I can think to do now which is to sort out this matter otherwise if it things get dragged on for more time then it will just kill me more and to tell you guys that I loved her more than anything in the world and that she is doing all these as if she is trying to convey that I am the worst for her now and the way she is behaving it's like I am her enemy.
I hardened my resolve and want to talk to her but also I am so afraid of the feeling I have right now that she will break up with me, that all things that are surrounding are very much from me are in fact, a way of trying their best to break up between me and her so what I gotta do after will I be able to take it are it can be because of the exams too we just had completed our board exams and mathematics was so tough maybe because of that she is upset and don't want to talk I think I should talk to her to ease her worries and for the answer to my question as I have a feeling that things are not as easy as it seems to be but I can't do anything against it as I also can't live without her so the only thing I can do right now is to talk to her and clear the misunderstanding to ease the pain for me.
But as I thought about whether it misunderstanding or not as we have many fights earlier but she had never behaved like this and so adamant about leaving me, it's killing me as I can't express my feeling as millions of ants are biting my heart at the moment at the same time I can't withstand it as she was my life after all but now just I can't just find the reason? why she is leaving me after this much time we have spent together and why she is doing all this, after all, we have spent so much time together why now? so I steeled my heart and contacted her and last night just from what happened yesterday night too she was chatting like I am such a nightmare in her life or like an annoying fly that's always buzzing around her.
*****She is online******
Me: - hii
**seen no reply**
Me: - I am very very sorry. Please stop being angry towards me so that we can be like during the past. and also don't stop talking to me.
Sanaya: - Ah! I am not angry at you. and sorry to say that we can't be like we were in the past.
Sanaya: -it's just I am only asking you not to message me anymore, u can't understand this simple thing now? are you dumb? it's the basic language I am telling you wanna hear in at any other language
Me: - I understand what are you saying But why? if I haven't made a mistake then why are you steering from me?
Me: - can you at least tell me the reason as to why you wanna stop talking to me, we were so good together and happy too.
Sanaya: - Because I don't want to talk to you.
Sanaya:- Haha and don't be delusional about thinking that I was happy during the time I was with you. as it's all about you from the start and there was never any me. so please leave and stop talking to me.
Me: - that's why only I am seeking an apology. You only tell me what I can do? To get your forgiveness. and I will also keep you more first if you are leaving because of that.
Sanaya: - I asked you not to message me otherwise I had to block your number decision is yours. you are irritating me now Nitin. it's all over between us it won't change no matter what you do.
Me: - But what's my fault? we were happy till 2 days before so why the sudden change. you know Nah, that I love you so much that I can't live without you.
Sanaya: - You have done no mistake it's all about me as I don't wanna leave with you; I only want to end this matter. it's time for me to settle this matter too.
Sanaya: - Even school is going to end now so I also want to end this. So that there will be no problem. As I want to go somewhere which I cannot tell you and I think this is the best ending between us.
Me: - Problem how?
Me: - this is creating problems for me more now. I don't know what to do now. I can wait for you we can have a long-distance relationship so it won't be a problem for you Nah.
Sanaya: - well I can't maintain this relationship and now I can't make you understand this, and the answer will be revealed soon so. I am sorry.
Me: - But I bet the problems what you are thinking would not happen.
Sanaya: - Nitin!! I have blocked everyone now only you are remaining. If you will not listen to me I had to block you too.
Me: - but what's my fault?
Sanaya: - listen I am fed up with you that's of all this now. I don't want to tolerate you or anyone now.
Me: - I will not get even one last chance too?
Sanaya: - Nope, it's my last decision and you should be happy at least I am talking to you otherwise I was just thinking of just blocking you. then end this.
Me: - Please! Think one last time again.
Sanaya: - I have taken this decision after thinking a lot only so please don't try to contact me again I Don't want to remain in contact with you. you are only a waste of my time now so we should go over our own lives so that we can live happily.
Me:- But at least tell me the reason for this abrupt ending of our love relationship after all was going so well between us and we were also living merrily.
Me: - And you also know where you are that's the place I can live happily with you so what's the matter now. don't worry I won't disturb you.
Sanaya:- well love was always one-sided from your side and for me, I just don't want to break your heart that's why I decided to get into a relationship with you now that school life has ended its the time for me to end this too as we won't be meeting again.
Sanaya:- but I won't be happy if you live with me as living with you makes it suffocating and also you are the person that makes me suffocate the most.
Me:- HAHAHA one-sided? come on girl all the promises you made and all the time spent together were all one-sided too?
Sanaya:- That's enough!!! I don't want to talk to you now. You are just another person that I needed during the time so that's it now we have nothing to talk about and now I am blocking you. Don't ever try to contact me again or I will forget about our previous relationship and contact the police.
******* blocked ********
Me:- But why me? Why don't you told me when I was confessing to you? Why didn't you just tell me all this when I was ruining myself to help you out there? Why didn't you tell me when I was caught in the papers helping you? why? why?
Me:- why don't you answer all the why's? so that I can solve all this? I left everything for you and now you are telling me it's all facade? and nothing else please someone give me the answers??
Me:- please answer me???
**************************************************************************
I was staring on the screen like an idiot and waiting for the reply but no answer came from the other side at all and I was feeling, that everything now happening around me is a dream that I want to wake up soon so that's why I pinched myself with all my pain and when the pain subsided I looked towards the mobile screen but after reading the above messages that were the same as the one I read now I know all this is true, this is all real and all these are happening with me and not the dream where everything will be over the moment I wake up but it would be so good it was all dream.
I was just sitting on a chair in a daze and staring at the mobile phone and was waiting for that one reply saying that all these above messages were prank and I am still there for you after all I believed that all those words that she had said now were only due to her being angry at me. she will calm down her temper and message me after that so I keep staring at the screen.
But I didn't get any reply from her as it has been the same messages that were there on the screen and I am sitting there only staring at the mobile like an idiot and waited for a single reply that may come at any time and say with a smile that all these messages that you read are rubbish and I am here for you and will not leave you at any cost but those wishful thoughts never became a reality I was thinking whether is their meaning about living now.
I had a vacant look in my eyes I don't even know why all this is happening to me as she was the only person in my life with whom I can feel a bit of warmth in my life, she was like a light of my life who had brought me from the darkness that I was in from childhood but now all ended like this no I can't let it end it like this I have to contact her and know these answer as to why she had been so adamant on leaving me but at the same time when I was unable to contact her I feel relieved too is this contradictory? but I am having both the feelings write now I want to know all the answers too and afraid to know to as I have a feeling that once all these answers came forward I won't be able to live anymore as it will take my heart and no-one will be able to open it and I also want to slumber eternally too.
When I was having all these feeling I also started reminiscence all the memories we have with each other they were reeling in my mind like a black-white film as the film was reeling I have a feeling that something was leaving me which was very important to me, I tried my best to hold onto them but they kept releasing like loose sand from a person's fist the more you tried to hold the sand tightly the faster it falls from the person's fist and no matter what you do the sand will keep falling from the fist at a constant rate as it can't be stopped.
To find the answers to why these were happening where I had gone wrong?
But I can't find the answers to these questions as I was in the reminiscence I was also trying to find my answers maybe they will be able to give the answers that I was trying to find but god knows how much time has passed maybe 1 minute or an hour or a day or only a second I don't know as i was trying to find my answers but there were none, there was only her smile, her small moments where she looked like a fairy who has come to my life to provide me light, her every uff and all these but the answers there none so after mulling over god knows how long as I can't feel anything in my body as my body is feeling empty as only there is a skeleton that supports my body and it can fall at any time I don't know about this feeling but before I fall I thought of trying to call her so that i can get some answers.
So I wish all my strength decided to call her. but when I called her only the call was going after but there was no response only that there was a computer voice reminding me that she doesn't care about me and I am the only idiot who has been hung upon him. But instead of believing it, I called again and the same computer voice answered me by saying
"The number you are trying to contact is not answering at this moment, keep in the line or call again later"
I thought she doesn't want to talk to me but for me, the answers were the hope to redeem myself so i call again but there was same thing happening again and again and each call her not pickinh up is like a hammer is hammering my heart with every ring but the hammering doesn't stop and for me, I can't feel anything now.
Seeing her not picking up the phone devastated me again and as a result, I threw the phone away god knows where and sat down on the spot thinking all the things that are happening I don't know what to do now. what to think? why were these happening to me? can someone tell me? Why?
I don't know how much time I sat there looking at the void reeling the memories I have with her. her smile, her way of talking, her every action that made me skip my beat, her speaking all these memories just kept reeling within me as I was submerged within my memories my cellphone started ringing but I was still in a daze so I didn't notice anything but when it started ringing again I was jolted awake and scrambled towards the phone but I can't find it I was happy thinking that finally she called me but I can't find my phone I was anxious that if I don't find the phone I won't be able to talk to her again so I started scavenging in my room which had turned it into a garbage bin and finally found the phone in one corner of the room without noticing the caller I received the call and bombarded the caller by all the questions but in return, I heard my best friend voice asking what's going on so I can't hold back anything, with tears in my eyes I told him everything that happened now and begged him to ask her to call me once.
He just listened and didn't say anything just said ok and ended the call. and I was crying sitting there with the phone in my hands waiting for her call and thinking about how I should persuade her so that she wouldn't leave me and we can have what we are having earlier but it didn't happen as I was sitting in a daze my cellphone started ringing again and the call was from him telling me that she doesn't wanna talk to me and had blacklisted me and also asked him to say to me that do not contact me again it is over between us now, so please leave me and move on he doesn't say anything more just ended the call there.
How can I stop contacting her? I have loved her always now suddenly she is asking me to forget her. and why does she have to do all these things and suddenly too we were having a good time during these days. or was it just my illusion? or there is something that is not in the light. was there any truth behind anything she told me?
There I was sitting in a daze but I don't know when I had a knife in my hands and also at the same time flashing about the time I lived my life but there were many regrets in my life and there were also the things I had not done but all these are fruitless now as I was thinking all these things unknowingly I had slashed my wrist and there was red color all there around me but it makes people so good what a vibrant color as the blood flow out through my vein I can feel the life seeping out of mine slowly and slowly like a poison which had been in my body seeping out as I was closing my eye I heard the sound of the door breaking and the last sound I heard before closing my eyes was.
Nitin!!!!
You all are intrigued by how I can't read the true face of the girl? but would you believe me if I say the facade she has shown in front of me was true of the girl smitten in love with me? but all these facades that she has shown in front of me were all to spend some time? or ruining my life? or for what? what was the true motive that she came to my life as i remember she was the one who started this so after hearing my rambling want to know all these answers to these questions? then I think you all would also like to know my past too? and about the thing that who I am? Who is she? and why is also happening here I want the answers so I have a solution for all these that is and why don't you all listen to my story and help me find those answer that I am unable to find now and see if these answers really exist there or not? or she was just to perfect.
Who is she? Why did she do this to me? Why?