Trotting along the streets of Wisconsin, a Honey Badger was too busy eating to notice the Police and SWAT members up ahead.
*BANG*
*BANG BANG BANG*
A series of gunshots rang out, causing the Honey Badger to look up and mentally frown.
'Are those, oh what did Myr call them? Ah yes, SWAT people!'
Deciding to "help", the Honey Badger climbed into the back of an armored SWAT MRAP, grabbed a rifle by the strap, and quickly trotted towards the sound of the shooting, which came from a school.
It wasn't until she got to the front doors, which were shot open, that one SWAT Officer noticed the Honey Badger with her stolen rifle.
Before they could do anything however, the Honey Badger had already gone in and started to look around for the Active Shooter.
'Man, these Human schools are massive. Lots of bullet casings too. Must have been one hell of a fight...'
*BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG*
"AHHH!"
Turning towards the sound of the gunshots and scream, the Honey Badger rushed over, just in time to see the Active Shooter, a gruff, middle-aged-looking man, try to shoot open a locked and barricaded door.
Thus, the Honey Badger quickly dragged over some books, stacked them, and then rested the rifle on top of the stack of books.
Taking aim as best as she could, the Honey Badger squeezed the trigger just how Myr had taught her and shot at the Active Shooter with an automatic burst, hitting him once in the arm, once in the shin, and once in the side of the head, killing him.
The Honey Badger then did the next important step, which was to raid the kitchen of any snacks that would fit into her backpack.
Just as she was about to pry open the door, she turned around to see several SWAT Officers pointing their guns at her.
Unfazed, she simply hissed and chittered at them, all while trying to open the door.
After a few tries, the Honey Badger temporarily gave up, and instead, chittered at the SWAT Officers and walked towards where the Active Shooter's body was, occasionally turning around and chittering some more, lightly slapping the ground.
"Come over here! Over here you dumb louts! The bad man is over here!"
Even though the SWAT Officers couldn't understand her words, one of them bravely followed her, which caused the rest to follow the first SWAT Officer.
Rounding the corner, all of the SWAT Officers immediately homed in on the now dead Active Shooter, shouting, "DON'T MOVE!" and "LEMME SEE YOUR HANDS!", not knowing the man was dead.
The shouting, of course, annoyed the Honey Badger, so she walked over, grabbed a book with her mouth, and hit the closest SWAT Officer on the shin.
Looking down, the SWAT Officer saw the Honey Badger pointing at the rifle that was resting on the books and chittering, then pointing at the dead Active Shooter.
The SWAT Officer immediately recognized that the rifle in question was the same one another SWAT Officer saw the Honey Badger drag in.
A quick exchange of words happened between a few of the SWAT Officers, before one of them picked up the rifle, and counted 6 bullet casings next to the pile of books.
Another group of SWAT Officers moved in behind an Officer with a ballistic shield to secure the Active Shooter, only to find him dead.
Every single SWAT Officer looked at the Honey Badger with dumbfounded expressions, as the Honey Badger internally gloated.
"I'm just a Honey Badger and I stopped the bad man. Stupid Humans." she chittered at the Officers.
========
"Good evening, everyone, my name is Michelle Lindt with Fox 69 News Network, bringing you an update on the tense and harrowing shooting that happened at the [REDACTED] High School here in Wisconsin.
The Police Chief of [REDACTED] Police Department has spoken out about how the whole shooting was stopped, and it's quite unexpected to say the least."
*Cuts to the Police Chief with the Honey Badger munching on some Spicy Nacho Doritos next to him. *
"Today, at 11:34 this morning, an Active Shooter, 45-year-old Brutus Chillingham, broke into the [REDACTED] High School with the intent to murder as many people as possible.
Thanks to the quick work of the office staff, the students were able to hunker down and barricade themselves in their classrooms.
We thank God that there were no deaths, or injuries, besides the gunman himself.
The creature you see next to me played an instrumental role in stopping this sick and twisted man from claiming any lives.
This creature next to me is called a Honey Badger, and this Honey Badger is the one who put 3 bullets into the gunman, ending his life.
Behind me is a projector, and we'll now show you some footage that a few body cameras and the High School's CCTV cameras caught, showing the moments that lead up to the end of this man's rampage.
Be advised, some of these moments might be considered disturbing to some viewers.
*Plays several clips from the body cameras and 3 of the CCTV cameras, showing the Honey Badger dragging in the stolen rifle, and when she shot the gunman*
"We will answer any further questions online and at a later date.
Make no mistake. This Honey Badger is a hero, and many people owe their lives to this brave animal."
The Honey Badger then pulled her head out of the Doritos bag and chittered at the Police Chief, causing him to nod at another Officer, who quickly opened up another bag of Spicy Nacho Doritos, and set the bag in front of the Honey Badger.
This got a few of the reporters and many viewers to chuckle, with people immediately making memes about the situation.
A soon to be popular meme appeared that showed the Honey Badger with a Police uniform photoshopped on, with the caption, "Anything you can do, I can do better".
Another meme that would become popular was a picture of the Honey Badger eating the Spicy Nacho Doritos with the caption, "Need me to stop bad guys? You know what to pay me!"
From then on, the Honey Badger would have memes constantly being made featuring her, and the Police Department even ended up buying her a custom-made ballistic vest and setting up some living quarters at the Police Station just for her.
Of course, she also liked to travel around, so she was only there a moderate amount, but no matter where she went, she would always get at least 3 large bags of Spicy Nacho Doritos from people who had seen and read about the Honey Badger that saved a school.
Numerous cold cases were also solved, and even more crimes were foiled by our heroic Honey Badger, earning her the nickname, "Wisconsin's Saint".
The Honey Badger couldn't care less about the fame, and instead, opted to wander around and help people whenever she could.
'I guess this sort of life is alright. I do wonder though, how is that young boy that brought me that steak is doing? I hope I get to see him soon.'