Tirza sat beside Snape on the couch; she was watching I Dream of Jeannie and he was grading papers. "Daddy, I need you to take me to Hogsmeade tomorrow." "Isn't Mr. Wood taking you?" She sighed. "I need YOU to take me; I need to go shopping for the party." Snape chuckled. "What could you possibly need for the party that you do not already have?" "Well... you haven't paid attention. I don't have a dress." Snape raised an eyebrow. "Not a single dress?" She shook her head. "Nope; don't like them." "Then why do you want one?" "Well, Hermione said all the girls were gonna wear dresses and I don't wanna be the only one not." Snape nodded. "They don't sell dresses in Hogsmeade, just robes. If you are very certain that you need one, I suppose we'll have to go to muggle London." Tirza's face lit up. "Really? Please?" Snape had a feeling he would regret taking her there, but he had no idea where else to buy her a dress. "Yes, we will go tomorrow." "Yippy!" she threw her arms around his neck and planted several wet kisses on his face.
The next morning Tirza bounced into Snape's bedroom. She looked at him giving him a funny look. "Daddy, you can't wear that!" Snape looked at his outfit; it was his usual black robes. "Why can't I?" She giggled. "Daddy, nobody dresses like that! They're gonna think you're some escaped loony person who thinks he's a wizard. You think Harry Potter's famous here? They never heard of him! All this is like fairytales!" Snape smiled; the thought of the muggle world knowing nothing of Potter always made him happy. "Then what would you recommend I wear?" She went to his closet and began going through his clothes. "Dude, I can hardly see in here there's so much black!" She finally pulled out a pair of black dress pants. "These look like muggle clothes!" Tirza teased. "I have made trips to London before," Snape informed her. She giggled at the thought of her dad walking around London the way he usually dressed. Finding no normal looking shirts, Snape used his wand to transform one into what Tirza called normal. It stayed black of course, but now it looked more like a muggle man's t-shirt. Snape emerged from his room several moments later and looked to Tirza for her approval. "Much better," she said.
"Are we there yet?" Tirza asked. "No." Several minutes slowly passed. "Are we there yet?" "No." Another several minutes pass. "Are we there yet?" "NO! You've been asking me that every five minutes since we boarded the train! You ask me that again and we'll go back to Hogwarts!" Snape thundered. She wrinkled her nose. "God, don't get all pissy. Why'd we have to take this stupid train anyways?" "Because," Snape replied. "That's not an answer." Snape frowned at her. "Yes, it is." "Nope." "Yes." "Nope." Snape fell silent, refusing to play her childish games. "You know, I think you don't like shopping," Tirza told him. "Aren't you a genius, child," Snape sneered. Tirza giggled. "You don't mean it and you know it!" He chuckled as she was right; those sarcastic comebacks were a well developed habit that both of them shared. Fortunately the Hogwarts Express arrived at King's Cross Station just then. Snape and Tirza got off the train and Snape should her how to get into the muggle train station. "Whoa that's awesome!" Tirza yelled as they both emerged from the column onto the platform. Snape quickly covered her mouth with his hand. "Hush child," he scolded. She nodded and followed him from the station.
Once Snape figured out the way to a nearby shopping mall, Tirza practically dragged him there she was so excited. "Ah, there's nothing like a mall," Tirza said with a sigh. Snape looked around the large building lined up and down on each side with stores and at the carts spread throughout the middle. "I don't see what is so special about it," he commented. She giggled. "That's cuz you're a guy. Shopping is so a girl thing!" She spotted a store with clothes in the window. "Come on, let's try there!" Snape reluctantly followed her into the store. Not ten minutes later his arms were full of dresses that Tirza had told him to hold. "Why would anyone wear these things?" Snape asked, picking a shirt that was held together in the back by tiny glittery straps and only had one sleeve. Tirza rolled her eyes. "Come on dad, try and pretend to be normal. I'm gonna try on some now, so you sit out here and I will show you, okay?" He nodded and sat in one of several chairs outside the dressing room. It only took him a few seconds to realize what part of the store he was now sitting in: the lingerie section. Never in his entire life had he been as embarrassed as he was at that moment! He did not belong in this section and could feel his face grow hot. Curiosity won over the embarrassment and he scanned the section with his eyes. Snape had to admit that some of the lingerie was actually quite tasteful and beautiful; he smiled as he remembered the lingerie Ariel had gotten their last Valentine's Day together. She had said it was a present for him!
A woman wearing a uniform approached him. "Can I help you find something sir?" Snape shook his head and the woman smiled. "Ah, shy are we? Are you buying for your girlfriend or your wife?" Snape could feel himself blush again. "I am not buying any of this for anyone. My daughter is trying on clothes," he told her, indicating the dressing room. The woman winked. "Of course sir. My name's Kim, just let me know if you need any help." Snape felt very relieved as the woman walked away and he vowed never to come here again; if Tirza needed to come here, he'd have Minerva take her! "Daddy, how do I look?" Snape turned his attention to Tirza, who was standing beside him wearing a backless purple dress that dragged on the floor. "You are not wearing that." She pouted. "Why not?" Snape looked at her sternly. "You are ten years old; you are not wearing that dress, it is inappropriate." She frowned at him and headed back to the dressing room, nearly tripping over the long gown. Snape shook his head as he watched her go. "Sir?" A feminine voice asked. Snape looked up expecting to see the saleswoman again. Instead, he saw a beautiful woman in her thirties with lovely blonde hair and brown eyes. The woman smiled at him. "I can't decide which my boyfriend might like better. What do you think?" She held up a long, red, lacy, see through nightie and a short red satin nightie with black fur along the bottom and matching thong panties. Snape's face went white (or at least it would have if it already wasn't so white!) and he stared at the woman in disbelief. "Madam, I really do not care to render an opinion on your..." He wanted to say sexual attire but could only imagine the questions Tirza would ask if she heard that. "On your undergarments." "Oh come on now, most men have the same taste in lingerie for woman. Just pick one," she prodded. Snape felt a tug on his sleeve and turned to see Tirza. "Dad, why are you looking at sexy stuff with that lady?" Snape felt the urge to apparate himself and Tirza right back to Hogwarts that instant; if only he could, blast those charms! "I'm not. The woman was asking for my opinion." Tirza looked at the two nighties. "I like the short one," she decided.
The woman smiled at Tirza, then looked at Snape again. "Daddy what about this dress?" Tirza said before the woman had a chance to speak. Thankful for the distraction, he inspected her dress. This one was knee length, sky blue, with short sleeves decorated with glitter. "It's nice," he decided. "Cool, but there's more," Tirza headed back to the change into another dress. Snape realized that the woman was still there. "So which do you think?" She smiled seductively at him. "I can't decide," he said, hoping she would go away. She sat down beside him and he could smell her perfume. She pulled out a card and a pen. Writing something on the back of the card, she handed it to him. "Why don't you come over tonight, about eight and we can try them out, hmm?" (Okay, so he's not every girl's fantasy, but I personally wouldn't mind giving him a fashion show, LOL! And I know there are women out there that agree with me!) She noticed Tirza come out of the dressing room and pressed the card into Snape's hand. "And be sure to get a sitter." With a wink she took both nighties and went to the check out lane. Snape sat there for a few moments absolutely speechless. "Oh my god," Tirza said as she looked at the address and number on the card. "She gave you her number? Ew!" Snape suddenly snapped out his trance. Tirza was back in her regular clothes and she handed Snape a knee length pink Chinese pattern dress. "I want this. And this," she placed a white lacy bra in his hands. Snape looked at the bra, then at Tirza, then back at the bra. "I am not buying this." She frowned. "Why not?" "You do not need this." She stuck out her lower lip in a pout. "But Hermione has one just like that and I want one too!" Snape cringed; that was much more information about Hermione Granger than he had ever wanted to know! He sighed; this was not the place and time that he wanted to talk to his daughter about her changing body. Alright, so he never really wanted it to be the right place and time, but definitely not here! "Listen," Snape said quietly. "Miss Granger is slightly older than you are and when you are her age, you will develop the need for..." he glanced at the bra again and resisted the urge to shudder at the thought of buying this for Tirza. "This." Tirza stomped her foot. "Fine. But I don't think it's fair that I don't get one and Hermione does because she's got boobs." 'Merlin!' Snape thought. "You will kindly refrain from talking of such things in the company of others," he told her. "Huh?" He sighed. "Let's talk about this at another time when there is not so many people are around." She frowned, but complied and gave Snape the muggle money for the dress. He stared at the huge wad of bills in her purse. "Where did you get all that?" "It's moms. I knew where she hid it. She never put much money in the bank, said she didn't trust it."
Snape looked at the greasy, cheesy slice of what Tirza called "pizza" in front of him. It really didn't look all that appetizing. (Okay, are there pizza places in London? Call me stupid if I am, but I really don't know, but I will pretend there are!) "Aw dad, be brave and try it!" He eyed the pizza and decided it couldn't hurt o take one bite, after all he hardly figured the teenagers working here would have the intelligence to poison anyone. He picked it up and bit a tiny piece; his eyebrows shot up in surprise. "See, it's not bad is it?" He chuckled. "You're right, it's not." She raised an eyebrow at him. "The great Severus Snape, greatest potions master in the entire history of wizardry just admitted he was wrong? Oh my god! Make this on your calendars people! This day will go down in history!" He glared at her, then winked and took another bite of the pizza. "And if you like this, you'd love McDonalds!" Tirza added. She reached for her second slice of pizza and happily began munching away. "So what made you decide to be a "girly girl" to quote your earlier statement, for the party?" Snape asked. "Well, when someone is taking you, you can't look like some bum." 'Someone taking her? Why had this thought not crossed his mind before?' "And who is taking you?" Knowing her dad's hatred for Harry, she was rather reluctant to tell him. "A friend." He eyed her suspiciously. "It's someone I dislike isn't it?" She nodded, suddenly becoming VERY interested in her pizza. A horrible thought flashed through Snape's mind. "You're not going with Potter are you?" Tirza looked at him nervously. "Um...well... yeah." Snape groaned. "Of all the people in the school, why Potter?" "Would you rather have me go with Draco Malfoy?" she asked. He considered that for a moment; compared to Draco, Potter was starting to look like a much better choice. "Well, I will tell you I'm not pleased that you are going with Potter, but I will not stop you. At least he isn't trying to use Unforgivable curses against you." She nodded. "He's a nice guy; you should give him a chance. Oh wait, sorry; I forgot you ONLY like Slytherins," she told him sarcastically, then winked. "Aren't you a little wise acre?" Tirza giggled. "Dad, if you're going to insult me, at least do it right! The right way is 'wise ass.'" Snape rolled his eyes. "But yes, I am. And I damn well enjoy it!" she informed him. He chuckled and grabbed another slice of pizza; perhaps he'd have to talk to the house elves about making this sometime.
Snape sat in the teachers lounge with a large mug of coffee. "So I heard you went to muggle London today," Flitwick commented. Snape nodded. "Worst day of my entire life. I absolutely refuse to take my daughter shopping EVER again." All the teachers chuckled. "Come now Severus, it couldn't have been that bad," McGonagall teased. "You have no idea," he retorted. "Well, what are you waiting for? Fill us in!" Thinking of the reaction he'd get if he ever told about the lady who wanted him to come to her home, he decided not to share that part of the story. "The clothes those Muggles wear are idiotic. And of course Tirza had to fight me on her dress for the Hallow's Eve party," he started. The teachers were laughing hysterical as he related the conversation over Tirza wanting a bra. "Ah Severus, the joys of having a daughter," McGonagall mused. "And then I was required to carry several cases of Muggle drinks called "Dr. Pepper," "Coke," and "Mountain Dew.'" The subject of discussion suddenly burst into the room. "Hey y'all!" she yelled her greeting. She put her large pink bag on the floor and crawled onto Snape's lap. "Funny, I do not remember inviting you to sit on me," he said with a wink. She looked at him, her expression completely serious. "You didn't. I invited myself!" Everyone laughed and Tirza made a bow. "Thank you, thank you! You're all so kind!" She settled back against Snape's chest and he put an arm around her. While he was talking to the other teachers, Tirza made sure he wasn't looking and took a big swig of his coffee. Just as she set the mug down, Snape turned back to her. "Did you just drink my coffee?" Tirza sat silent for a moment and then swallowed. "What do you have to say for yourself young lady?" he asked with mocked severe sternness, followed by a wink. "I have the right to remain silent. Anything I say can and will be used against me in court," she recited, looking extremely proud of herself. "What is that dear?" McGonagall asked. "My Miranda rights. In the US when you get arrested, the cops tell you your rights and I am gonna use my right to keep my mouth shut!" Snape chuckled and hugged her as they all laughed. Suddenly the pink bag began to shake and they all watched it as it tipped right over and a black nose poked its head out. "Tirza, are you carting your rabbit around in that bag again?" Snape asked. Tirza nodded. "Duh! If I left her in my room all day she'd be sad!" Snape rolled his eyes. "Heaven forbid," he mumbled. She stuck her tongue out at him and the teachers all came to pet Jinn Jinn, who eagerly accepted the attention.
A half hour later, Snape stood up, still holding Tirza. "Well I don't know about the rest of you, but I have a little girl to put to bed." "Aw man! Dude that sucks!" Tirza announced. "I'm sure it does, but you're still going to bed." Tirza stuck her tongue out at him, and then turned to everyone else. "Goodnight!" She blew them all kisses and a chorus of goodnights followed Snape and Tirza from the room.