Wood and Tirza stared at each other silently for an uncomfortable moment. "Um, what would you like to do?" he asked. "Wanna teach me to fly?" she asked, sounding very hopeful. "No." "Can I play with your wand?" "No." Tirza paused in thought. "Can you do magic by twitching your nose?" "No." "If I find a pumpkin and some mice, will you turn them into a carriage and horses?" "No." She sighed. "Ya know, for someone as hot as you are, you sure aren't much fun." She slapped her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide, and her face turned red. "Oh my god, did I just say that out loud?" Wood nodded. "I think I'm gonna die," Tirza moaned and fainted. Wood ran to her and began to panic. "Come on wake up! Snape'll kill me if ya don't!" He shook her shoulder, but she didn't move. Suddenly she stated giggling. "Gotcha!" Wood looked anything but pleased. "Aw come on man! That was perfect, just like in the old movies!" He groaned; this was going to be a long afternoon.
"Do I have to explain again?" Tirza asked, exasperated. "The Double Tribble card means to double your cards and the Beam Me Up Scotty card is the one you use to block, not the Mind Meld card." Oliver was seriously regretting agreeing to learn how to play Star Trek edition Uno. "What exactly is a Tribble? And what is a mind meld?" he asked. Tirza slapped her head. "Never mind; next time I'll remember wizards don't play Uno. You play poker?" "Yes, but I don't have any money on me for betting," Wood told her. Tirza smiled. "That's alright, we'll use poker chips." She jumped up from the floor and Wood could hear digging and clanking from her room. 'Please don't let her kill herself,' he prayed. She brought a deck of cards and a set of poker chips out and sat Indian style across from him. "Okay, Texas Hold 'Em, 5 Card Draw or 5 Card Stud?" "Which ever you want." She nodded and dealt the cards. "Um, you know this is not strip poker right?" He raised an eyebrow at her and nodded. "Good, I mean who wants to see someone else naked anyways, yuk!" Tirza cracked her knuckles and began shuffling the cards. After Oliver won about ten games, Tirza announced that she was sick of poker. "I'm bored," she whined. "What would you like to do?" Oliver figured the easiest way to keep her happy was to do what she wanted, within reason of course.
Oliver led the way to the Gryffindor common room. "Hey guys," Tirza said as she entered the room. "Anybody got a football?" Several minutes passed as the boys headed for their dormitory and searched their rooms. "Found one!" Somebody shouted. "Great, now who wants to play?" Most of the Gryffindors followed Oliver and Tirza to the quidditch field. Some had come to play, other to watch. "Everyone knows how to play, right?" Tirza asked. A few nodded, but the rest shook their heads. "Oh brother," she groaned. Those that were Muggle born and knew the sport helped to explain it to the rest; once everyone knew the basics; two of the Muggle born wizards were chosen as captains and picked teams. Angelina, Katie and all the boys played, with the exception of Percy, who sat on the side with the rest of the girls. Oliver pulled Tirza aside before the game started. "This isna going to get ya killed is it?" She laughed as she pulled her long curls into a pony tail. "Nah, it's cool. Relax man!" Oliver groaned. 'How am I supposed to relax? If anything happens to her, Snape will murder me!' The field was rather muddy from the rain that morning, but no one cared. At first no one tried to tackle her as she ran with the football. "Time out! What's wrong with you guys? You're supposed to tackle me!" she demanded. "You're Snape's kid," Seamus told her. She put her hands on her hips. "Yeah, so?" "If someone tackles you and you get hurt, Snape'll ring our necks!" The group nodded in agreement. "That's stupid! I'm a lot tougher than I look, give me a chance!" Tirza pleaded. The next play, Tirza caught the football and headed for the end zone with Seamus hot on her trail. He suddenly jumped her from behind and both fell in the mud with Seamus landing on top of Tirza. He scrambled off her, worried that he had crushed the tiny girl. Tirza sat up, her face, hair and clothes covered in mud and laughed. "Ew!" the girls yelled. Tirza continued to laugh as she stood up. "See, nothings broken!" She slapped Seamus on the back. "Good play dude!"
Oliver caught the football and ran with it, dodging Neville and Fred, getting closer to the end zone with every step. He kept his eyes on his target and missed seeing Tirza running for him at top speed. She jumped at him and they both fell, rolling over several times in the mud. "Got ya!" Tirza yelled happily when they came to a stop. Oliver laughed and stood up, attempting to brush some of the mud from his clothes. "You know, you're pretty strong for a little girl." Tirza smiled. "You bet! I'm a female Vin Diesel, baby!" He shot her a confused look that caused her to laugh. "Never mind, I'll explain later!" The score was tied and everyone was covered in mud, paying absolutely no attention to what time it was until Percy stood up and shouted, "All right, game's over!" Everyone stopped and looked at him. Tirza shot him a nasty look. "Yo man, that's wack! What's your problem, man?" Percy ignored her. "We all have to be in the Great Hall in twenty minutes, so I suggest that everyone go clean up." Everyone reluctantly headed for their dormitories. Oliver and Tirza headed for the dungeons and reached Snape's chambers at the exact moment Snape did. He looked them up and down. "Why exactly are you and my daughter covered in mud?" He was clearly disgusted at the mess they were. "We were playing football. It's too bad you missed out, it was so much fun!" Tirza happily told him. Oliver saw a mental picture of Snape, covered in mud, making a touchdown and had to fight to hold in his laughter. "Go inside and clean up," Snape told her. She nodded and turned to Wood. "Thanks Oliver, I had lots of fun!" "Did she behave herself for you?" Snape asked. Oliver nodded. "Yes sir, she was an angel." Snape raised an eyebrow. "If only she were angelic, Mr. Wood, but I will take that to mean she did not cause any serious trouble." He turned and walked into his chambers.
Snape placed his packages in his room then banged on the bathroom door. "Tirza it is almost time for supper!" He heard her singing in the shower and doubted that she had heard. He was thankful that she wasn't in the shower long; he was worried she might attempt to scrub her skin off again. She came out of the bathroom shivering. "Dude, it is so cold down here! How can you stand it, crazy man?" She shook her head and ran to her room. "Hey come here!" she called a few moments later. Snape opened the door to her room and observed the unmade bed and the barely visible carpet. "I see you did not clean your room as I asked." "I'll do it later, I promise! But I can't reach my sweatshirt," Tirza pointed to a pile of shirts on the top shelf of her closet. "I thought about standing on the chair, but knowing my luck I'd fall and I knew you'd kill me if I ended up at the nurse's office again." Snape chuckled; it certainly had seemed like they lived there. "Which one?" "Sky blue," she told him. He reached for the first blue shirt he saw and handed it to her. "No, not royal blue, sky blue," she said, shaking her head, her wet curls bouncing wildly. "There is a difference?" Snape asked. "Guys," she said. "You all know nothing about fashion! Sky blue is the second from the bottom." He grabbed the shirt indicated and held the two together. "You're right," he said. "Duh!" Tirza pulled the sweatshirt that matched her sweat pants over her white t-shirt. "I'm ready!" Snape looked at her outfit; the sweats were fine, but she was wearing her fuzzy slippers! "Are you wearing those?" She looked at her feet. "Well not if you're gonna be fussy about it." She took off the fuzzy slippers and through them across the room and grabbed a pair of white socks and slipped her feet into her sandals. "All better?" He nodded approvingly.
Tirza sat beside Snape and looked at the food on her plate, horrified. 'I wonder if I save enough money if I can build a McDonald's here?' she thought. "Why does my food have an eye?" she whined. Snape glanced at her plate. "It's fresh salmon." "But it's got an eye! I can't eat something that's looking at me!" "Hush and eat child," Snape told her. "I think I'll give it to Mrs. Norris later." Snape looked at her sternly. "No you will not, now eat your food." "You can't make me eat something with an EYE! It's," Tirza paused. "It's against my religion!" "And what religion is that dear?" McGonagall asked. "Whatever religion doesn't eat things with eyes." Tirza replied. After several minutes of Snape using every threat in existence to get her to eat, he finally gave in and used his wand to give her meatloaf. "Are you satisfied now?" She shot him a smile. "Yep, thanks daddy." Snape shook his head, thinking she was using her smile and the word 'daddy' to take advantage of him. Tirza happily downed her meatloaf and mashed potatoes. "Oh, uncle Albus," she started to say. "Excuse m young lady, but is that how you address your elders?" Snape interrupted. "Yep." "And whatever gave you the idea that you could?" "I gave her permission to do so, Severus," Dumbledore said. "Yeah, so there." Tirza stuck her tongue out at Snape, causing McGonagall to chuckle. "Uncle Albus, can I talk to you again later, about-you know?" Dumbledore smiled kindly at her. "Of course my dear." Snape looked confused. "What are you not telling me child?" "None of your business." "Watch your mouth young lady," he warned. She rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Anyways, it's between me and Uncle Albus." Dumbledore looked at Snape, his eyes twinkling. "Do not worry Severus. Why don't you come to my office after we are finished eating dear?"
"The thing is, I can't do that myself, I don't know how," Tirza explained to Albus. "Do not worry; I am sure the house elves would be happy to help you. Was there anything else you needed?" She nodded. "Yeah, I need someone to take me shopping. And any ideas of what to get would be cool." The old wizard smiled. "I'm sure that can be arranged. Would you like me to escort you back to the dungeon?" Tirza shook her head and slipped her small hand in Albus' old one. Tirza said the password and she and Dumbledore entered Snape's quarters. "Well, I have returned your daughter safe and sound Severus. Good night child." "Night Uncle Albus!" Snape watched Tirza, who seemed to be avoiding eye contact with him. "Alright little miss, tell me what is going on." She frowned at him. "Don't pressure me dad, I'm not good at keeping secrets and I really can't tell ya!" He sighed. "Well, it can't be bad if Dumbledore is in on it. You sit down; I have something to show you." Tirza nodded and flopped into the armchair. "Tirza Jade Snape, you are absolutely incorrigible!" She giggled and Snape noticed how this time, she did not insist on Shelby.
He quickly gathered the packages from his room and set them in front of her before taking a seat in the other armchair. "Oh, presents!" Tirza squealed. Her face lit up and her eyes glowed as she looked at the five brightly wrapped packages. She chose the red one first and began the peel away the pretty wrapping. Severus watched, unable to keep a smile from his face at his daughter's joy. He reminded himself to thank Minerva tomorrow for the helpful ideas she gave him. "Wow!" Tirza pulled out a beautiful wooden box with a rose painted on the glass top. She lifted the lid and squealed again as the box began to play music. Inside, was her mother's ring on a silver chain. "I thought you might want a safe place to keep it when you aren't wearing it," Severus told her. She carefully set the box down and slipped the necklace over her head; then jumped out of the chair and wrapped her arms around him. "Thank you daddy, so are so awesome!" Tirza planted a big, wet kiss on his cheek before turning to the blue package. Too excited to go slowly, she tore at the paper. "My very own quill!" she shouted. Snape laughed. "Yes and it comes with pink ink, which I seemed to remember was your favorite color." "Dude that's way cool!" The next gift had completely been Minerva's idea. Inside the green wrapping was a bottle of vanilla scented bath beads. Tirza opened the bottle and breathed in the vanilla scent. "Yummy," she declared. The purple paper revealed a picture of Tirza's parents, smiling and waving. "Look dad, you and mom are moving and everything!" She giggled and kissed the picture, then hugged it. Severus kissed her head as she thanked him over and over again. "Open the yellow one," he reminded Tirza. She nodded and reached for the package. "What's all this for anyways?" she asked. "Think of it as all the birthdays and Christmas' I missed. I wanted to make up for that." She kissed him again, then tore off the yellow wrapper and discovered a treasure trove of candy. "Yummy, yummy! I LOVE candy! Thank you daddy!" He smiled and held her in his arms for a moment. "I have one more gift for you. Stay here and I will get it." Snape returned from his room holding a large, odd shaped package.