|Rose's P.O.V|
I don't think I ever understood the full concept of what pain really is, until today.
It wasn't just an ache in my heart, it was something far more indescribable. To have someone who means so much you, leave without a glance or even a chance to explain yourself, is painful enough. But to know that the one you can finally accept your feelings towards is hurt and alone out there somewhere, just drowns me with waves of unbearable agony.
And to know that I was one of the people who drove him away, just makes me want to scream and rip my hair out, because just the thought of the unendurable suffering that he's possibly experiencing right now, is enough to bring my swollen eyes to unstoppable tears.
Why was I so heartless to him?
I shiver from the rain that was currently pouring down on me like a wild waterfall. The freezing wind harshly blows from around me but I was too deep in grief to care. I slide down the brick wall, my face in my hands, biting my lips with full force to try and stop any sounds coming out.
But I couldn't.
One tear slipped out and soon, hundreds followed after, my body shaking as unstoppable heart-wrenching sobs raked my body entirely.
He has no family, no home and I used that against him...
I thought that by distancing myself away from him, I would prevent myself from experiencing another heartbreak, yet little did I know that this was far worse.
I didn't know how to react, he was controlling me and that was something I did not tolerate. Although, I didn't have to be a bitch to him...
I'm such a heartless monster.
I'm such an unsympathetic, inconsiderate bitch.
"ROSE! There you are!" A familiar voice rings inside my head as I felt her grab me from the side and hug me close to her.
I take a deep breath, knowing that I'm close to shedding another round of tears. "H-he's g-gone.." My voice barely audible but Laura had heard me as she strokes my hair.
"Shh, we'll find him, hun." She replies softly as she tries to get me to stand up but I collapse back down, Kyle's words swirling through my head yet once again.
"All I wanted was to be loved again. All I wanted was someone who I could trust, someone who could be beside me always so I could function properly and stop myself from becoming insane. But you, Rose... you just gave me one thousand reasons why I don't belong in this world, why my death wouldn't cause a single person to shed a tear, why I shouldn't ever trust another person in my life again. Because you weren't just another person that I have met, you were someone that knew the whole me, someone that I stupidly spilled my secrets and weaknesses to. I regret ever meeting you Chi- Rose."
"Rose, come on. We have to go back to the boarding school otherwise you'll get sick or even worse, hypothermia."
I smile faintly. Death....What a lovely idea. It's just leaving this pathetic place and finally being able to find peace.
My eyes heavy, slowly begin to shut close as unconsciousness takes over. I felt numb, paralysed.
"No no no no no, Rose please!" I faintly hear Laura beg as she places her coat over me. "Please don't close your eyes!" Her soft cries barely audible now as darkness consumes me.
I'm sorry William...
"Babe, you have to eat something." Laura pleads softly, placing a chicken wrap on my lap but I only stare at it. It went from being one of my favorite food to my worst.
I've been in hospital for two days now and hadn't uttered a single word so far. The stormy weather outside had me thinking about how Laura was going to make it back to the boarding school without getting sick.
"How are you going to get back without catching a cold?" I whisper, lifting my head to look at her.
I was met with silence as she stares at me with wide eyes. "Rose.." She sniffs. "You're the one sick in hospital and this is the first thing you say after two days?" Her voice shakes as she quickly wipes a tear that had just slipped down her cheek. "You need to put yourself first before anyone else." She whispers, staring deep into my eyes. "Why are you worried about me when you nearly froze to death two days ago?"
I stay silent, not knowing how to answer her. She sighs and lets out a breath. "If there's anything you need, just call or text me and I'll be over as quick as I can. Okay?" She says, standing up and fixing the blankets then pulls me in for a hug. "I have an umbrella, so don't worry." I nod and watch her leave.
That's one reason why I hated hospitals. People come in, a look of pity on their faces as they try to smile and soon leave afterwards, not having enjoyed their visit. I lie back down onto the pillow and close my eyes. Although I haven't moved much, I was still mentally and physically exhausted.
Later that night, I felt something warm stroking my cheek, waking me up from my deep sleep. My eyes, half open, could make out the form of a male standing on my right. I reach my hand out, intertwining my fingers through the mysterious persons hand, giving me a sense of comfort. However, as I try to have a better look at this stranger, he disappears.
I wondered for a second if I really did see someone there but then I've been put on medications so the chances of hallucinating are high.
But it felt so real.
I sigh, turning my body sideways. Monday gone, and Kyle still wasn't anywhere to be found. Had I really hurt him that much that he possibly....I gulp. No Rose, he can't...He won't...
Tuesday, I was allowed to go back to the boarding school, however, I stayed rooted to my bed the whole day. My cheeks stained with tears as I blankly stared at the wall for the whole day, feeding on oxygen. I was drowning with guilt, desperately wanting to apologize to him for the pain that I caused from my heartless and bitchy words.
And I knew very well just how strong the impact of words can be. You can hit someone, and it will hurt, but it will always heal. With words however, they invisibly and permanently scar your heart. Healing such pain would be near impossible.
Wednesday, I walked around the school over fifty times, hoping to run into Kyle, only I ended up walking into a pole. I considered for a moment to teach the pole a lesson on who's boss but then I realised just how much of a psycho I would look like. I tried to call him but his phone was switched off. I ended up throwing my phone at a tree out of frustration.
Thursday, I sat outside Kyle's dorm all day, ignoring every human who tried to approach me and spent the night in Kyle's bed, inhaling the remaining faint smell of him. Malcolm had tried to talk to me but I simply ignored. The night however, was spent with tossing and turning and minimal amount of sleep.
It was finally Friday and I had spent the whole day in the school gym, releasing all bit of anger that had been boiled up inside me throughout the whole week. I never thought it would feel this good to just punch and tire myself out, just feeling the adrenaline course through me. By the time I was finished, I was drenching in sweat
Saturday, I was going insane.
There was still no sign of him at all. The thought of him lying dead somewhere seemed to be more possible with each passing day. With that thought in mind, tears once again blurred my vision. I put my fist into my mouth, trying to remain silent but it was no use. Tears spilled down my cheeks for the hundredth time this week.
It's all my fault.
Sunday, I was called into my fathers office, where my concerned mother was sitting besides him silently.
"Rose, take a seat. I have something important to tell you." My father says, motioning towards the chair opposite to where he was sitting at his desk.
I sigh tiredly. "Dad, this isn't a formal meeting. Can't you just tell me quickly so I can leave?"
"Suit yourself." He shrugs before continuing. "I have some news about Kyle."
My head that was busy staring at the carpet suddenly snaps towards him. I immedietly take a seat and beg him to inform me of Kyle's whereabouts.
"Kyle was...attacked by two people quite severly however he is lucky to be alive as the police had managed to get to him in time. There's only one problem."
Hearing this information, the blood in my body freezes solid. I was shocked to the point where I was pretty sure my body was immoblised. My eyes sting as another round of tears blur my parents from my vision.
Its all my fault...
"Unfortunetly, due to his severe head injury, He is currently in a coma."
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