All the things left unsaid, were revolving in my head the entire morning.
As I left the boy's bathroom at school that morning, I bumped into someone on my way out.
It's the last possible person I expected to see.
"You go here?!" Akemi was just as surprised as me.
She followed me when I ignored her. "So, when can you come to practice with us?"
I couldn't return to the classroom like this, she might clash with Amara. Well, I don't know if she's calmed down from last night anyway... I also... for some reason don't want the two of them to meet.
"Soon, I think. We're almost finished with the album."
"Really? About time!" She clapped her hands together and looked genuinely excited. "You better be ready to bring it, because we've been leveling up without you!"
"You're a gamer?"
"Huh? No! It's just a phrase."
"Okay."
When I went silent she seemed ticked off.
"Anyways you better hurry up and finish." She walked away.
Only then did I return to class.
I couldn't tell if it's because of the upcoming exams before Summer vacation, Amara never approached me and I didn't approach her. We had been friends for so long but suddenly, for the first time, I felt as if there was a wall. I couldn't bring up the things she said yesterday.
The Helens were filming when Kanna-san announced that the higher-ups would like them to redo the vocals for three songs even though it was decided it's just a single, I was also told someone wanted to meet me. The news was delivered nervously by Kanna so that made me nervous too.
He was a tall old man in a fashionable seafoam-colored suit, his pierced ears made him seem very free-spirited and with the times. That's the impression I got when I saw his back.
His deep voice made me flinch. "Fukuda Kagami-san?"
"Yes sir?"
He turned around his, he had a gaze sharp enough to cut through paper. He looked me up and down.
"Do you know who I am?"
"...The CEO?"
He grinned and patted my shoulder.
"The Helens sound have improved thanks to you."
"Ah, not at all... It was thanks to others' efforts and the Helens themselves."
His gaze was sharp. "So are you saying you did nothing?"
My heart nearly stopped. "Huh? Ah well..." My mind went blank. Technically yes? I didn't really do much...
"I'm kidding. Pita said you were a sap, seems like it's true, that's fine for now but I need you to get yourself in order soon. I saw your audition. A friend of mine likes your song but he's not from this agency. Are you interested in collaborating with him in the future?"
"...Uh? O-of course!" Wait, what am I saying? What song could I make that'd ever be good enough for one of his acquaintances?!
"Good. Hurry up and debut with Banshee, I expect great things from you." He placed a shoulder on my hand as he passed me. He didn't apply pressure but for some reason, the spot he touched felt heavy.
I felt pressured all of a sudden. I quickly turned around to call after him.
"Ahm, sir? I'm still inexperienced about a lot of things..." I was actually hoping to find a mentor... or end up working with other composers to get more experience...
He immediately spat back. "Then, become experienced."
"Ah..." I blinked a couple of times and licked my lips. What could I say in response to something like that? I was speechless.
His expectant gaze silenced any form of rebuttal.
He added, "I won't throw you out."
"Okay... I mean... thank you!" I bowed as he turned to leave once more.
An intimidating man, I felt he was adjusting his temper for me. He was known for being a strict guy so the moment I saw him waiting down that hall I expected the worse but... this is terrible.
Hiroto Kanzaki, he was once a famous guitarist back in the day but when he knocked up a minor(she was a girlfriend he had met in high school when he was a senior, but she a freshman, apparently they continued to keep in touch long after his graduation). He disappeared to look after his family and after seeing the musical talent in his daughter, Kanzaki-san decided to return to the world of music as her band's manager and capitalize on her talent. A controversial character, I've seen young and old argue about the morality of his actions. A senior dating a freshman is seen as no big deal to some, to others it's disgusting. If it was America, he probably could have gotten arrested for engaging with a minor... But more importantly...
After the talk, I had to sit down and have a serious talk with myself.
I never thought I would end up meeting the CEO, I had comforted myself at the thought that I could be a little cog in a big machine. But meeting him so soon, I guess it hit home for me.
The expectations this company held for me were because of the songs I wrote for Azure Phoenix. I mean it's true that Azure Phoenix is super popular these days but that's mostly thanks to their new sound.
The guys sound better than they did when we were just a Soft Rock club...
I picked up the phone to text Amara but paused.
Should I? Odd, I complain about my Mom fetching her whenever something happens but right now I'm doing the same thing.
And yet she's the opposite. I know some people are like that. They love helping but they can't accept help because of their pride. But this isn't a matter of pride.
For Amara, I get the feeling it's something like an invasion of feelings. That girl... is so emotionally independent it's scary. Some part of me wished I didn't hear the words "I'll consider you" as she hadn't already been considerate of me enough.
She supported me so much but she doesn't expect me to do the same, it feels unfair. Should I continue to pester her with my problems like this?
As I texted her what happened today a shadow hovered over me.
"Um... Fukuda-san? Is there something wrong?"
Ito-san bent down to peek at my face.
Ever since the intervention, she's been comfortable talking with me. I also felt the same.
Seeing her example the girls still kept their distance but some of the more outspoken girls like Anya would also get up in my face more often. To be honest the latter annoyed me.
She came running over now. "What? Did he say the songs were shit?"
"Huh? No, no... it has nothing to do with the Helens." I crushed the melon soda can in my hand and stretched.
"Let's get back to work!"