The gym hall that graduation day was packed.
The sound of our music flooded the room, and the hands of the crowd went up and swayed like stalks of grass from the wind.
It was an unforgettable moment.
That small feeling of power.
The power to sway hearts with our music.
But this newfound joy of mine didn't last long.
"KAGAMI!"
My mom stormed in through the door, and the people parted to make way for her like the Red sea before Moses.
"WE'RE MOVING!"
I froze as she made her way up the steps. Her expression was serious, angry.
She rarely got angry at me but when she did...
"W-wait...wait a minute, Mom..." My voice was shrinking. As the panic and confusion settled in of what I could have done wrong...
She grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me off the stage, the shocked faces of my band members became smaller and smaller as we glided away, Mom's lower half became a tail.
I reached out a hand to the guys who reached back.
It was like a scene from Michaelangelo's Creation of Adam only Mom became a fish-bird.
Feathers sprouted from her arms.
She carried me up into the air.
The guys ran outside after me only to witness my ascent.
"Guys!" I called out. I'm really sorry! I had wanted to say this.
"Kagami!" Izanagi, our guitarist with bleach blonde hair held up a fist to his chest then the sky, it was a silent tribute.
"Thanks, Kagami!" Gen's eyes were full of tears, he's our drummer but he's always the first to cry.
He used to have a mohawk, but his girlfriend convinced him to shave it off so now he's bald.
"We love you, man!" Utaka waved with both arms, his strawberry blonde hair fluttering in the wind, he was half french and had the energy of a chipmunk but his piano playing oddly filled those listening to it with peace. "We'll never forget youuuu!"
Guys wait! I'm not going away forever! I'm just...
I'm just...
"KAGAMI!" Mom screeched into the sky.
I opened my eyes.
Going to a different prefecture...
An unfamiliar yet familiar ceiling.
The sound of Azure Phoenix flooding my room.
Ah, that's right.
This is... our house in Ibaraki.
I've been living here for the past two years now.
During that time, my former band, Aoi Phoenix became super famous, their name was changed to Azure when they entered the label, the songs didn't change, but the sound was... something I could only dream of.
I was shocked when my parents were contacted by lawyers to discuss the royalties for the songs I wrote.
The guys were adamant I get the credit as songwriter.
Every month a big fat check awaited me in the mail. It didn't feel real.
Every time I saw them on tv or watched fan videos of their concerts, pride would swell inside me.
But then that would always be followed by my deep regret. A loathing towards my Dad and Mom, and towards myself.
People would call me crazy if I told them this but, rather than the check, I'd much rather...much rather-
"KAGAMI!"
The door to my room opened with a bang interrupting my thoughts.
The look on Mom's face could've killed the unlaid eggs in a chicken.
"Jeez, falling asleep on the floor again! What's the point in writing music all the time if you're not even going to do anything with it! Really! Do you know how long Amara waited for you?"
So that's why she was angry, I see. Wait a minute!
"Eh?" As I sit up, my eyes widen at her mentioning of Amara.
I muttered to myself, "That's right, she texted me last night about having something to show me yesterday, but it was so late I told her to tell me tomorrow..." I felt like the biggest piece of shit at that moment.
Amara, my African-American next-door neighbor. Her family moved in a year ago. Her existence alone made living here in Ibaraki bearable since we were both transfers, and it became something like an unspoken given for the two of us to walk to and from school together.
Mom practically exhaled steam. Her beast-like tengu expression morphing back into her angelic doll face self.
There it is the beauty.
Many always complimented her that she could have been an idol or model growing up but she always responded with a placating smile. Little did people know she hated cutesy pop music and often took it as an insult. She was a hardcore rock fan during her youth with a gothic lolita phase and that she really was a model before getting pregnant with me.
"I told her to go on ahead without you. Do you know how many times I was calling out to you?" Mom frowned at me.
I don't know what came over me these past couple of weeks but I've been out of it. The guys were on tv more and more these days. In magazines, posters, billboards, and even the bus.
Watching me a vein bulged out of her forehead, the tengu returned. "YOU'RE STILL SITTING THERE?!" Mom screeched.
"I'm going! I'm going!"
I washed my face first, I had learned the hard way last time when kids laughed at the ink that had rubbed off on my face from my crash sessions.
I changed into my clothes and hurried off to school.
Of course, I was late. I tried sneaking into the classroom by creep walking but I swear Yamada-sensei has eyes in the back of his head.
As he wrote on the chalkboard he said.
"There's no point in hiding Fukuda-san. Just take your seat."
The class erupted into laughter.
As I took my seat, I glanced in Amara's direction.
She often wore her hair in braids tied into a bun or cotton candy-like puffy pigtails.
Today she wore her hair in two simple braids tied into puffy pigtails, stray strands of controlled coils dangled down in front of her ears.
As usual, her monotone expression was difficult to read, she was attentively taking notes.
Like that, she didn't look my way even once.
She must be mad huh... I've seen her angry before but never at me. Was I overthinking this? She's scary when she's angry how do I appease her? Huuu...
"Fukuda-san, where are you looking at?"
Ota-sensei called out to me during class and he traced my gaze to Amara and sighed.
"Fukuda-san... please... pay. ATTENTION!"
"Y-yes!" I turned red. There it was, Mr. Yamada's screeching. It was always funny seeing other students on the receiving end but not when it was me. How embarrassing!
Surprisingly once it was break time she came to me. I didn't even notice her due to getting scolded by the last teacher as well.
"Kagami."
My head whipped in her direction.
She was a sight to behold today as well. Her upturned reddish smokey quartz eyes held me in their crystalline reflection and her plump full lips were coated with a thin matte chocolate layer of gloss that matched her skin, it complimented the tiny box milk cartons of strawberry milk earrings clinging to her earlobes nicely.
"I'm sorry about this morning!"
She nodded and wordlessly placed a flyer on my desk.
I looked at it.
It was a flyer about an audition for a talent agency here.
I could hardly believe my eyes, it's Hysterical Kitten Entertainment?!
It was most famous for being founded by the Father of the lead singer of the Famous rock band, Blacklist! To think they were here in Ibaraki...
"This..." I was speechless. I looked at her.
"Where... did you?"
"They were passing it around yesterday near the salon." She explained.
"Really?"
"Mmm." She watched me for a bit. "Why don't you give it a shot?"
"Me?"
"Who else?"
"But I..."
"I think you'll do well. At least... your music isn't bad..."
Of course, she was referring to the music sheets lying on the floor in my room as we speak. I had only briefly told her of my past and it was only that I was once in a band but had to move.
The moment I thought about it, I wondered why I hadn't considered moving on before. I'm sure there was a reason. My mind felt blank. Was I dreaming?
Would Black Kitten Entertainment be interested in my songs? It was a terrifying thought I dared not entertain.
Who was I kidding? Just because the guys got famous singing my songs, it's not like... it meant anything. After all the second I was out of the equation, they became famous.
I sighed and shook my head. "No way. I can't-
"Kagami!" Amara slammed her hands onto my table. Perhaps she was frustrated from me shrugging it off, still, her sudden mood swing startled me.
The gaze she held me in was serious.
"How long do you plan on staying up late writing a bunch of songs no one will ever listen to?!"
Her question silenced any excuse I was forming inside my throat. I swallowed.
"Watching you like that kills me." She placed a neatly manicured hand on her chest. "What are you waiting for? Isn't this the perfect opportunity to make something of yourself? To tell the world that you're here! Or something like that?"
As she drilled into me, my fellow classmates began to look in our direction.
"I love your music! It's beautiful! But it's like you're keeping it contained and hidden... like, like it's imprisoned in a birdcage! Music is meant to be free you know?"
I watched her in awe. How long had she been holding that in? Those days I'd invite her to come over, she'd quietly listen to me play and whenever I asked her opinion, her responses were always hesitant and careful as if trying not to hurt my feelings.
So I had always thought...
*I love your music! It's beautiful!* Those words shook me to my core. I could feel my ears getting hot.
I never would have guessed that she felt that way.
As I thought she's a hard person to read. I felt that I had been blindsided by this new information which made it even harder to organize my thoughts as she lectured me.
Who are you?
I had wanted to ask her.
I didn't know what to say.
All the excuses swirling in my head were copouts, and I didn't have the courage to lay them before her, what with that excited twinkling in her eyes.
However, it didn't take me saying anything lame to ruin her mood.
The longer it took me to speak, the faster that twinkling light dimmed into an indifferent black void that raised goosebumps all over my body.
When the bell wrung, she walked away without a word.
Class resumed.
I glanced in her direction but she wasn't looking at me. It was amazing how she could flip the switch like that or... maybe's she mad for real this time? Those thoughts plagued me as I tried to pay attention in class.
During Lunch, Amara disappeared on me. A classmate told me she went to the bathroom and so I waited but when she returned she didn't even look at me.
"Amara..."
"Don't talk to me..." Was her response.
Eh?! Now she's seriously mad?! What's happening?
I texted her instead.
"Did I do something wrong?"
Her response was a video link to Thrice's "Yes or Yes"