Where was I yes, he pulled out a piece of machinery I didn't know what it was but my mom did she said things like ¨It's perfect¨ or ¨I love it¨ then she would smile at me like I knew what it was but I didn´t.My mom asked me ¨Do you know what that is¨? And of course I answer with NO!
He started explaining it in a science way which I didn't understand. ¨In human language please¨. I said with sarcasm. Then he said ¨It is for your leg to help you walk without a wheelchair¨. He started putting it on adding straps and more, then he told me ¨Stand up¨. I didn't know about this but I did I held my leg up so it wouldn't touch the ground then he said.¨Put your leg down and put wait on it¨. So I did. It felt weird at first but then I loved it I felt a little pinch but that was it. He asked me what it felt like I said, ¨It feels grate!¨. I was happy I never told him about it pinching and stuff. He talked to my mom why I learned how to stand again. Soon after I was in the wheelchair again boring old wheelchair.
After that experience I was determined to feel that way again. I noticed my mom was not leaving the building instead we went into an elevator. She told me what buttons to push I didn't understand I asked her where we were going and she didn't answer all she said was, ¨It's a surprise.¨. A surprise what kind of surprise?
As we walked out of the elevator I noticed lots of things but what I noticed the most was that it looked like a school a school that was 6 levels off the ground. I also noticed kids like me but most of them had legs like the one I tried on.Then my mom took me to a room which looked like the principal's office in my school. A tall young lady walked in with a stack of papers. I asked my mom if I could go look around. She nodded her head slightly and then I was off.
After I left that room I wandered into another room. It was a classroom. There were toys and paper and lots more. I was so excited but then my mom said it was time to go. I was mad I wanted to look around a bit more. Then she said we would be back tomorrow. I was excited that night I didn't get any sleep but that was okay. The next morning my mom got me ready. We were off into the car and to that new place it was so cool.
But this time it was different mom left me there with this lady from yesterday. I didn't want to stay anymore I told my mom but befor she could answer she was gone the elevator door was shut. I was scared I was with someone I had never seen before and she was just staring at me like I was supposed to do something. I consider her the mean teacher.
She was always bossy saying things like I could just get up and walk away. She made me feel worthless. Soon the day ended with my mom picking me up. Do I have to do that again I asked. ¨Yes, every day it is school for you a new school.¨ What? New school I do not want to go to that place ever again. I said with anger and disappointment.My mom asked why multiple times but I didn't answer. She was getting worried about me so we went in for a meeting that my mom called for. That didn't help but I did get to here what my mom was feeling and how she thought about all of this.
She was scared for me she didn't know anything about me. She didn't know what I thought about all of this she didn't know what my feelings were.She was scared that I was facing depression and more she thought I was getting bullied at this new school so she took it up with the principle about the situation but she only knew that I didn't talk to anyone including the teachers and children. Then she got worried and this went on forever until my mom got me a therapist. The person could not talk about anything outside her work or with her coworkers. Including my mom.
I told her everything and then she told me I had crippling depression which was a type of depression. She prescribed me pills saying smile, be happy while you still can take ones a day in the morning if possible. So I did they made it a little easier for me but on some days it didn't matter my mom was right I was getting bullied cyber bullied. Everyday after school I would check my phone and get text messages from all of my old friends. They would say mean things things that made me cry and feel like I was worthless and I didn´t know why they did it.
But one day everything had changed I wanted to end everything but I couldn't bring myself to do it so as I was on my way to the therapist I open the door to the car and jumped out the rest was a bler I remember my mom stopping the van and running to me people surrounding me and everything. I woke up in a room like a doctores room but I had handcuffs around my wrists and keeping me to the bed I noticed my mom sitting in the corner.
She was silent then A doctor walked in. Yay you're awake, Now let's talk about why you jumped out of the car. I sat there with no emotion just staring into the blue. Then he asked again a little more abruptly this time. ¨Why did you jump out of the car?!¨. I andserd with, I am tired of my life I am ready to end it. I do not want to fight anymore.
He looked at me with disappointment. Then asked If I would try doing it again if I could. I answered with yes. I didn't care what people would think about me and how they would react. I was ready. Well I have something for you your mom was going to give it to you but we are not allowing her into this place. That over there is a hologram. You will be handcuffed to this bed until you sort out your differences and you don't want to hurt yourself.
I shook my head. Why would you do this to me I would think no one cared about me not even my mom. I felt bad I felt depressed and shocked I wish I had died instead of being hear curse those guys that helped me survive. I wanted to die to end all of the suffering. ¨I am sorry you feel that way but trust me when I say this, everyone cares about you and there is always another way.¨ Then he slowly walked out leaving a note on the very end of the bed.
I knew it was a test to see if I would pick it up so I didn´t I was going to let them know that I had no feelings whatsoever and I was going to try everything to get out of this place and end all of my suffering. The next day was about the same a new guy came in asked the same qeshtons and then left.I didn´t say a thing to that person nor did I ever talk again to anyone. As days and nights passed I started not eating and drinking making it so I would die sooner than later but the people didn´t care they made me eat and drink no matter what they had to do.
Then finally a guy walked in he asked me the same questions that everyone else asked me but he asked in a different way.I told to hand me a pencil and paper in seinlanguage. Then I wrote different answers and started crying I missed crying. I missed my home my mom I missed life. I felt like I had been grounded for years. Not allowed to go out into the world. But after that the guy handcuffed me and took me out into the blue.
I started crying even more. I was happy to be alive at that moment.I turned around and gave him a hug thanking him for this. Then I asked to see my mother. He said maybe tomorrow I smiled and went back to my bed. The next day I woke up in a different room. It was nice it had flowers,balloons,and stuffed animals.Then I notice my mom walk into the room. I smiled I was happy to see her again. I tried getting up but I couldn't because of my leg but in the other room I had both of my legs.
You were in a coma for 2 years. We thought you would die for sure but you didn't. I ask then my boyfriend walked in with a huge panda stuffed animal. I was filled with joy knowing that he kept his promise of staying with me my hole adventure.I wish I could do more than just this. I wish I could walk and become me again. But what I didn't know was that tomorrow was my birthday. I was going to wake up with a huge surprise.
And when I did I was happy I could walk with my new wooden leg. And that's my story.A young girl that had her life changed for better or worse. You dicided.