After quickly somersaulting back in time, the beard fell into a pool. Almost drowning, he jumped out, and dashed for the sidewalk. Trying to blend in to regular society is very hard for a beard like him. However, with his level of Dao of Illusion, no one noticed the beard in their midsts.
Taking a deep breath, the beard went to the book club to find something to read. This time, instead of going to penitentiary, he would stack up on mortal knowledge through reading books!
Exiting his state of mind, he decided to pick the easiest book to read 'how to pick up women: dummy's guide'
After reading in a trance-like state for an hour, he decided to give it a try.
"Hey babe, are you lookin for a single hot beard in your area?"
"OMG YOU'RE SO HOT PLEASE *BEEP* ME"
"Wow those are some almighty *BEEP*"
"HEY CHECK OUT MY SIX PACK ALREADY"
...none of his pickup lines seemed to work.
Depressed, the beard went home, and drifted off to sleep on his couch.