Chapter 40 - The Madness of the Wolf
Albus took Remus to the infirmary, leaving the rest of them to make their ways to their prospective homes. Severus was gratefully to return to the dungeons, anxious to end the day and put it behind him. As it was he didn't look forward to telling Harry about Remus the following morning, but Merlin willing he could get a good nights sleep before then.
Dobby was waiting in his main sitting room, bouncing up and down on the couch and singing softly to himself. He leaped off the couch when he saw Severus entered the room.
"Dobby did exactly as Professor Snape asked," he informed the man happily. "Dobby put Harry Potter to bed and guarded the door. Dobby would do anything for Harry Potter!"
"Thank you, Dobby," Severus nodded and then dismissed the creature. He headed toward the bedroom, pausing on his way to the bathroom to glance at the bed. Sure enough he could see Harry asleep, an empty vial of his special version of Dreamless Sleep on the nightstand beside him. Satisfied, Severus stripped out of his leathers and headed to the bathroom for a quick shower.
Despite his exhaustion, he felt restless and uneasy, and he couldn't help the feeling of rage that burned through him when he thought about what Lucius had just done. He should have let Lucius inform the werewolf himself - should have let him risk his own neck by enraging a Dark Creature. To come between a werewolf and his desired mate was madness. Even now he could still feel that strange emotion that had seeped through the room when Lupin had lost control of himself - it seemed to have settled deep in Severus bones and would not leave him.
Despite the hot shower Severus was still worked up and edgy by the time he left the bathroom. But he knew he had to get some sleep if he was ever going to face the events of tomorrow.
With a tired sigh he climbed into bed beside Harry, taking a moment to gaze down at the young man sleeping peacefully beside him. The candlelight danced lightly over the fine features of his face. Severus drew his gaze down the pale column of the boy's throat - several buttons of his top were undone, and Severus could see the hints of the smooth planes of his chest.
The boy shifted in his sleep and his shirt slipping open more, uncovering one rosy nipple. Severus' breath caught in his throat, that uneasy heat in his chest moving lower and awakening a sudden painful desire inside of him. Without conscious thought he reached out to touch what lay before him, letting his fingers lightly graze over the soft skin at the base of Harry's throat before moving downward and brushing gently over the raised nipple. He felt the skin harden in reaction to his touch, pebbling beneath his fingertips. Severus' body was suddenly aching with need, his cock hard and heavy.
He could taste, he told himself silently. The boy had taken his potion - if he were carefully he would not wake. He could taste his skin, perhaps even taste the soft curve of his lips and the boy would be none the wiser. Or perhaps if he was very careful, used a whispered spell, he might uncover more of his skin and see what delights had been hidden from him. Perhaps he could even uncover all of his skin - touch him, taste him.
And if the boy woke - Severus could make him want it. He'd be sleepy and confused, easy to seduce, hungry for affection. Severus could make him want it, make him want him - and why shouldn't he, after all? The boy was his, legally, morally, magically. Why shouldn't he take what belonged to him - it was his right. To deny it was madness - and gods was there anything more wonderful than the scent of Harry's heated skin; he brushed his lips ever so lightly against the boy's bare shoulder.
Just one taste, he promised himself, and let his tongue flick softly against the smooth warm skin. He sighed deeply, breathing in his scent - so sweet, like sunshine and springtime, and his life had been so cold and bleak alone in those dungeons. And just below the surface he could feel the underlying sense of Harry's magic, thrumming with life, with power, utterly intoxicating.
He moved upward, letting his lips trace gently against the pale skin of Harry's neck, a tender kiss along his jaw line - the boy was so beautiful, just once he wanted something perfect in his life, something bright and warm. And the boy was his for the taking - if he waited too long someone else might step forward and take Harry away from him. A fiery flare of rage burned through him at that thought. Even Lucius, who had little interest in men, had wanted Harry, had seen the attraction that drew so many to Harry's side. There was something inside the boy, some primordial spark of life that radiated power; Severus could feel it calling to him the way it called to everyone he met.
No, no one would take him - he wouldn't allow such a thing to happen. Harry was his - his to take, his to claim. Softly, carefully, he captured Harry's lips with his own, stealing the kiss that had been denied to him. His body throbbed with need, and he shifted closer to the boy's warmth, desperate for some relief. The slightest pressure parted Harry's lips and he pushed his tongue into that warm mouth, tasting, touching - and gods, he was sweet! Even asleep and insensate to the world, the boy responded to him, moving closer to his heat, welcoming him into his mouth with a soft moan as Severus stroked his tongue with his own. Severus slid one hand down the boy's body, capturing his hip and pulling him against his hardness, desperate now for release.
The boy was hard, and Severus' heart leaped in his chest. He slipped one leg between Harry's, moaning in pleasure when the boy moved against his leg, grinding his cock into the muscle of his thigh. He deepened the kiss, exploring his mouth with slow, sensual strokes of his tongue.
"Harry," he whispered, bracing himself so that he could move over Harry's body and press him down into the mattress of the bed. He lifted his head, desperate now to see those beautiful green eyes, to see them filled with passion, finally to see Harry look at him the way he wanted, needed to be looked at, like he mattered, like he was needed, like he was loved.
And then he froze in shock when he realized that the boy was still asleep, his eyes closed, mouth parted helplessly as he moaned in some potion-induced dream, utterly unaware of what was happening to him. Severus' mind cleared in an instant as he realized in horror what he was about to do.
He drew swiftly back from the sleeping boy, all but flinging himself out of bed. He took swift stock of himself - he was as hard as a rock, painfully aroused, and moments ago he'd been ready to take what he wanted regardless of what Harry might have had to say on the matter. Shaken to the core, he retreated swiftly from the bedroom, crossing the sitting room and entering the library. Locking the door behind himself, he lit the fire before sinking down into one of the reading chairs before the large fireplace.
"Merlin!" he whispered to himself. What had he been thinking! To let himself lose control like that - surely he wasn't that tired? So exhausted that he didn't even realize what he'd been doing until it was almost too late? Perhaps he'd been alone too long - perhaps his self-imposed celibacy had not been a great idea after all? Granted Harry had some rather strong ideas about marriage and fidelity, but the boy was only sixteen years old. Even if he did one day intend to give himself to Severus - and truthfully Severus had no real reason beyond the boy's puritanical indignation to believe this - that didn't mean he was ready to do so now. Likely it would be several years yet before the topic even came up. If after only four months of marriage Severus was already so desperate that he would risk breaking Harry's trust, perhaps remaining celibate was not the best idea?
It had been a long time since Severus had felt the need for a regular bed partner - but maybe four months of having a tempting young man in his bed was too much for even his control. He'd never been particularly promiscuous, less so as he'd gotten older. But that didn't mean he had not indulged from time to time - with both men and women. For the most part it was awkward to even consider such things during the school year, and his solitude suited him just fine. But if he was in danger of losing control like he had just nearly done, perhaps it had been too long.
He shook his head violently. It was absolute madness! And complete nonsense! He was tired - that was all. And the adrenaline of the last few days was merely affecting him awkwardly. All he needed was a good night's sleep and he'd be back to himself by morning.
He glanced over his shoulder at the door, thinking briefly about going back to bed.
With Harry.
It would be warmer, of course, more comfortable. He pictured Harry lying there and felt a shiver of awareness move through him. Would it be so wrong to claim him? Claim him before someone else did. . .
Shaking himself in anger, he shifted in his seat. Okay, going back to bed was a bad idea. He'd sleep here in the library - wouldn't be the first time he'd fallen asleep in front of the fireplace.
Yes, he told himself, he'd be back to normal by morning.
Harry woke with a start and glanced at the clock, noting that the hand was pointing firmly to "Time to Get Up". Seeing that Severus was already gone from the room, he shoved back the blankets only to realize that the front of his pajamas were damp and sticky. In that instant his dream came back to him with a vengeance, and despite the fact that he was alone in the room he felt his face turning red with embarrassment. Staggering swiftly out of bed, he made his way to the bathroom to shower, stripping himself out of his pajamas and shoving them into the laundry hamper for the elves to clean. He quickly jumped into the shower to wash away the evidence of his dream.
Good lord, he thought in embarrassment as he wondered if he might have said something in his sleep. He couldn't remember the details of his dream too well, but he remembered enough to know it had been hot and steamy and that the arms he had dreamed were wrapped around him were most definitely male. So was the body he had dreamed he had pressed up against - a tall, strong well-built male.
He knew it wasn't unusual for him to shout or scream during one of his nightmares - he'd woken enough people up with his dreams. But had he been just as vocal with this sort of dream as well? Had Severus heard him? Or, oh God, Harry thought in a panic, what if he had grabbed Severus in his sleep, pressed up against him? Was that why Severus had not been in bed still when he had awakened, despite the fact that Severus must have gone to sleep much later than he had? He felt his entire body flush in embarrassment with the thought.
That was one draw back of the potion Severus made for him. True Dreamless Sleep prevented any dreams at all - which Severus claimed over a long period of time was unhealthy. The potion Severus brewed for him only prevented nightmares. It hadn't occurred to Harry that there was another type of dream he might wish to avoid while he was sleeping beside someone else. As if he didn't have enough to worry about as it was.
With a heavy sigh, he climbed out of the shower to prepare himself for the day. He wasn't really looking forward to the day ahead of him, guessing he'd spend the day answering the questions of the other Gryffindors about what had happened to him in the Winter Lands.
But at least he was home, he told himself. He was back at Hogwarts, and classes would resume, and he could go back to things that were normal and familiar.
Once dressed, he headed out to the sitting room, looking forward to a good, strong cup of tea to get his morning started. Severus was waiting for him in the other room, and Harry paused in the bedroom doorway to watch the man with some surprise. Severus looked agitated, pacing back and forth in front of the fire as if angry or upset by something. Actually, Harry couldn't recall ever seeing Severus pace like that - back and forth, like a caged animal, a dark scowl on his face. The Severus Snape he knew stalked swiftly from one place to the next, but he never did something so mindless and pointless as pace. Harry felt his face heating up once again - what if this was about his dream? Harry thought he would die of embarrassment if Severus mentioned anything about it.
But he couldn't just stand there and stare. Sooner or later he'd have to face the music - everyone dreamed right? He couldn't be responsible for his dreams - surely even Severus Snape had embarrassing dreams from time to time?
"Is something wrong, Severus?" he asked, startling the man - that was a surprise as well. Severus was rarely startled by anything.
Immediately Severus stopped his pacing, and for a moment he just stood there and stared at Harry, before the scowl vanished from his face and he took a deep breath and seemed to calm down. "Sorry, I was just lost in thought," he informed him. "Did you sleep well?"
Harry flushed, his cheeks burning. Was that supposed to be a reference to the dream, or was he imagining all this? Maybe it was just a simple courtesy, nothing more? "Fine," Harry nodded, trying desperately to sound non-chalant. "Is everything. . .did something happen?"
Severus frowned and then nodded tightly. "Yes, actually. Perhaps you best sit down."
An uneasy, panicky feeling settled over Harry's heart at his words, and he guessed suddenly that this had nothing to do with an embarrassing dream. Severus looked too perturbed for that. "Is everyone alright? Did something happen to someone?"
Severus motioned impatiently toward the chair in front of him, obviously intent on getting Harry seated. "Everyone is fine - no one is hurt." His words were so curt they didn't really ease Harry's mind, but he settled down into the chair anyway, staring uncertainly up at Severus. Severus started pacing again.
"Last night Lucius Malfoy formally asked me to present a marriage proposal between Draco and Sirius Black," Severus began.
"You're kidding?" Harry asked, and then laughed at the very idea. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!"
Severus frowned. "I assure you I am not joking. And neither was he. While I have no idea where his loyalties lie, Lucius has decided that he does not want his son involved with the Death Eaters. He sees Black as the means to get him away from the life awaiting him."
Harry stared at him shock - the very idea that Lucius Malfoy might actually do something to benefit anyone, even his son, was ludicrous. But that he would pick such an unlikely way was beyond belief. "He doesn't actually think Sirius will accept, does he? Hell, I doubt Draco will agree to it either. The whole idea is silly!"
"You don't seem to understand," Severus replied. "First, Draco has no say in the matter. If his father tells him to marry Sirius Black, then that's what he'll do. It's not his choice. As for your godfather, he doesn't have a choice either. He has no legitimate reason to refuse a marriage of such good standing - to do so would be dishonorable."
"There would be no honor in accepting!" Harry insisted. "He loves Remus!"
"Remus is a werewolf."
Harry leaped to his feet. "I know that! What does that have to do with anything?"
Severus tugged somewhat angrily at a lock of his hair as if unnaturally agitated by something. "You don't seem to understand what I'm saying. Remus is a werewolf - he has no legal claim to Black. They are not mated. If the damned wolf hadn't been so bloody puritanical, and made Black wait, they wouldn't have this problem. But in the real world an honorable marriage offer from the Malfoy family trumps true love."
Harry paled at his words and then found himself flushing in embarrassment as he realized what Severus had implied about making Sirius wait. He rather felt like he had been sucker-punched. "That's not fair," he protested.
"Life is not fair," Severus snapped.
"Sirius will never marry Malfoy!" Harry insisted. "I don't care if it's dishonorable or not!"
"Then he will die," Severus replied coldly. "And somehow I don't think even the wolf will want that."
"Die!" Harry exclaimed. "What are you talking about?"
Severus dragged his fingers through his hair, which was looking decidedly wild this morning as he had not tied it back as he usually did. "If he refuses the marriage, Lucius Malfoy will go straight to the Ministry and lodge a complaint with the Department of Blood Line Inheritance. Your godfather will lose his family name and his position as Head of House - a title that will pass immediately to Bellatrix Lestrange. Once she has been named the Head of House, she will use an ancient form of blood magic called the Sang Mort to kill Sirius from a distance. While she's at it she will also likely kill any member of the House of Black that she thinks has not lived up to the name. And before you suggest that Sirius do the same thing to her before this takes place, the Sang Mort is a very dark form of magic and taints the soul irrevocably. There are only a handful of people in the world capable of that kind of magic, and Bellatrix is unfortunately one of them."
"I wasn't going to suggest such a thing!" Harry protested in horror.
"Of course not," Severus smirked coldly at him. "A Gryffindor would never do such a thing, would they?"
"You're in a very foul mood today!" Harry shouted at him, not understanding what was happening here. Why was Severus being so nasty to him? He hadn't behaved like this in months.
Severus grew still for a moment, staring at Harry in surprise. Finally he just sighed and shook his head. "You're right, I am," he agreed. "I'm sorry. I not myself today."
Somewhat mollified Harry turned his attention back to the matter at hand. "I don't understand how this can happen though. I mean how can this be an honorable proposal - if nothing else has everyone forgotten that Sirius is still a wanted criminal? How can Malfoy marry a wanted criminal and have anyone think it is an honorable marriage?"
"Black's status as a criminal does nothing to change his position as the Head of the House of Black, any more than it prevents the Lestranges or the Averys or the MacNairs from voting in the election despite the fact that they are all known Death Eaters. Until they are dead and their titles have passed on to their heirs, they are still the Heads of very powerful Houses - their rights and privileges are guaranteed by magic, not legal status or morality. Haven't you wondered how Sirius still has access to all his family vaults despite the fact that he is on the run from the Ministry?"
Truthfully, Harry had wondered that - how had Sirius managed to buy him such expensive brooms over the years if he could not show his face in public? How was he able to get gold from his vaults in Gringotts?
"The Ministry has the right to arrest him, imprison him, and even execute him - but until he does something that violates the honor of the House of Black, they can not remove his claim to his title, land or property. The laws of bloodline magic are some of the oldest that exist - the Ministry can do nothing against them."
"And being on the lamb from the law does not violate the honor of the House of Black?" Harry asked doubtfully.
Severus laughed humorously at that. "The House of Black is a Dark House - casting the Unforgivables does not violate the honor of the House of Black."
"Sirius isn't dark!"
"That doesn't matter," Severus insisted and Harry shivered uncomfortably, hating the reminder of the house his godfather came from.
"So you're saying he has to marry Draco, because Remus has no legal claim over him?" Harry clarified.
"Correct."
"But what if they were bonded now - or mated - or whatever you call it? That would be an acceptable claim, right?" Harry suggested.
"No," Severus insisted. "If they do it after the fact that would be the same as refusing - Black would lose his name."
"No," Harry shook his head. "This can't happen. There has to be something. . . " He stopped suddenly, something Remus had told him echoing through his mind. 'We know that for every soul that exist in the world there is a soul mate for it. If these two souls somehow miraculous manage to find each other in life, we know that we cannot pull them apart. To do so causes chaos. It can bring about great pain and mischief which ultimately diminishes our society.'
"The Marriage Stone!" he exclaimed. "We can use the Marriage Stone! The Marriage Stone would certainly trump a Malfoy proposal!"
Severus stared at him in disbelief, looking more agitated again. "What are you blathering on about?"
"The Marriage Stone," Harry repeated. "If we use the Marriage Stone to prove that Sirius and Remus belong together, even Malfoy won't be able to argue against it. It will prove that they belong together, that they're already bonded - before that stupid proposal. It's a magical artifact - even Malfoy will have to accept its final word on the subject!"
Severus stared at him incredulously. "What on earth makes you think that the Marriage Stone would prove that Lupin and Black belong together? It's just as likely to prove that Lupin's perfect match is Alice Longbottom!"
"Don't be ridiculous!" Harry scoffed, ignoring the angry look that flashed across Severus' face in light of his certainty on the subject. "If it can claim that you and I, who have nothing between us, can be soul mates, it will certainly show that Sirius and Remus are. Remus and Sirius are perfect for-"
Harry yelped in shock as a strong hand suddenly closed around one arm, yanking him violently against Severus' body. He found himself stunned as he stared at the rage on Severus' face, the man's eyes burning as if lit with some inner fire.
"Nothing between us!" Severus snarled. "Nothing! I have protected you with my life, risked myself year after year for your sake. For four months I have provided for you, given you a home, given you anything you wanted. I went to war for you, fought for you! And you dare say there is NOTHING between us!"
As he yelled, his grip on Harry's arms grew tighter and tighter, until Harry was certain they were leaving bruises in his flesh. But more frightening than that was the fact that it wasn't just rage lighting Severus' eyes - they really were flashing yellow, like Remus Lupin's eyes did when the wolf grew too close to the surface.
"Your eyes are yellow," Harry choked out, afraid even to move. Had Severus been bitten by a werewolf? His heart was pounding in panic.
Severus, glaring down at him, did not react at first. And then something odd passed over his face as Harry's words reached him. His face, which had been flushed with rage, paled suddenly, a look of horror crossing his features as he stared back at him. He released Harry with a violent shove that sent him staggering back.
"Oh god!" Severus whispered, and then rushed toward the door. Ripping open the portrait-door, he vanished into the torch lit hallway beyond.
It took Harry several minutes to calm down enough to even move. His limbs felt shaky and he found himself raising his hands to touch the bruises he was certain were on both his arms. A shiver ran through him.
Shaken and numb he found himself moving into the bedroom and pulling his wardrobe doors open. Dropping down onto his knees he reached for his trunk, pulling it open and rifling through the few items inside it. It took him only a moment to find the folded parchment he'd been looking for. Yanking his wand from his sleeve he tapped the parchment once. "I solemn swear I am up to no good."
The familiar lines and placards of the Marauder's Map appeared on the parchment and Harry swept his eyes over it. There was Severus, moving swiftly toward the Headmaster's Tower. It was still early enough in the morning that very few people were out and about - most students still inside their various dormitories. For a moment he thought about racing after Severus, finding out what was wrong. And then just as suddenly his dream came back to him, along with the strange sense of heat he had felt running through him when Severus had yanked him hard against his body. His emotions tumbled chaotically around his head, leaving him feeling lost and uncertain where to turn. He needed someone to talk to, and it didn't look like Severus was in any mood to talk to anyone.
Searching for Remus Lupin's name, he was surprised to see it down in the infirmary - was Remus sick? Had something happened to Sirius - but there was no sign of Sirius on the map.
"Mischief Managed." He wiped the map clean and shoved it back into his trunk, and then he headed out of the room. He needed to talk to Remus, and the sooner the better. At the moment it felt to him as if the whole world had gone mad.