Chapter 9 - Dog Star
Severus was startled out of a light doze some hours later by a harsh voice. "What are you doing here?" Severus opened his eyes to find Sirius Black staring at him from the other side of Harry's bed.
"Keep your voice down," Severus ordered, glancing at Harry to assure himself that he was still safely asleep. Harry looked as if he hadn't moved at all, his face still too pale for Severus' liking.
"Answer my question," Black insisted.
"I should think it is self-explanatory," Severus told him. Sometimes Black's stupidity astounded him. He leaned forward to lightly touch Harry's forehead again, checking his skin temperature, while he caught hold of his wrist with his other hand to check his pulse.
"What are you doing?" Black demanded.
"That should also be self-explanatory," Severus growled in irritation. Harry felt slightly warm to the touch, but his pulse was fine. The potions they'd given him early should take care of any infection, but he suspected he'd need a few more before this was over.
"Is he . . .?" Black began, but trailed off uncertainly.
"Fine," Severus told him. "A minor infection I suspect, but we gave him something to counter that earlier."
"Why are you sitting with him instead of Poppy?" Black asked.
Finally a vaguely intelligent question from the man. "She has other patients, and I volunteered to sit with him."
But his answer obviously didn't satisfy Black. The man's eyes narrowed. "Why you?" he pressed again.
Severus glared up at him in irritation. "He's my bond-mate. I have every right to be here."
"This marriage is a joke and you know it," Black growled.
"And yet still quite legal," Severus pointed out. "Which is more than I can say for your guardianship since you're still a wanted criminal."
Black's eyes flashed with hatred. "Believe me, Snape, no one regrets that more than I do. Harry should be with someone who loves him. Instead he's been stuck with those monstrous Muggles, and now you."
"Love or not, you can't protect him," Severus reminded him.
"And I'm supposed to believe that you can?" Black asked incredulous. "That you would lift a finger to help James Potter's son?"
"Believe whatever the hell you like, Black," Severus sneered. "There's nothing you can do about it now."
Black's eyes went flat with fury. "Really?" the man growled, but a soft sound from Harry caught both their attention.
Harry's eyes flickered lightly and he turned toward his godfather, his eyes opening slowly. Without his glasses he had to squint to see who was looking at him, but when he realized whom it was a warm smile brightened his features. "Sirius," he whispered, his eyes shining with pleasure.
Severus felt something remarkably like jealousy flash through him, and it took him a moment to realize why. He wanted Harry to look at him like that. Complete pleasure at the sight of him. He sat there somewhat stunned by the revelation while Sirius Black leaned over the bed and gently hugged the young man lying there. How could he possibly want something so badly that a few weeks ago would have seemed completely ludicrous?
"Harry, how are you?" Sirius asked, gently stroking Harry's head, brushing his hair from his face. Harry seemed to lean into the comfort of his touch. The jealousy flared again, and Severus fought to squash it back down.
"Glad to see you," Harry admitted. "I missed you."
"I missed you too," Sirius told him. "I'm so sorry I haven't been here for you."
"Got your letters," Harry told him. "They helped. Can you stay?"
"I'll stay," Sirius promised. "For as long as I can. As long as I stay out of sight it should be all right. Remus is coming too."
"Good," Harry smiled again, for the absent werewolf this time, and Severus felt the pang again tugging at his heart.
"Albus told me what happened," Sirius told Harry gently. "Are you feeling any better?"
"I'm fine, Sirius," Harry assured him, though Severus was fairly certain the boy was still in a great deal of pain. The wounds he'd received were not yet all the way closed. No doubt his muscles ached too from the strain of battle, and the forced healing they'd been through. "Dumbledore and Severus saved me."
Severus's eyes widened at Harry's words, not certain what he was more shocked by - the acknowledgement of what he'd done, or the use of his first name. Sirius was obviously just as shocked by his words.
"Severus?" he asked in disbelief.
Harry's eyes fluttered again and it was obvious he was fighting to stay awake. "Don't fight, okay?" he whispered. "Don't want you to fight." Severus understood then, both the words and the use of his name. He was protecting him! The little brat was actually trying to protect him while lying here half dead himself. He was protecting him from his godfather's temper, or perhaps simply protecting his godfather from finally committing the crime for which he was being hunted. Either way he was putting himself between them - forcing Sirius to acknowledge both the life debt between them, and the marriage that bred such familiarly.
"Harry?" Sirius asked in confusion. But the young man was down for the count, out like a light again. Sighing in frustration Sirius leaned forward and kissed Harry lightly on the forehead. Then pulling up a chair he sat down next to the bed opposite Severus.
"You do realize that if you ever hurt him, I'll rip your throat out," Black said stiffly.
"Figured as much," Severus agreed mildly.
"Good." Sirius folded his arms and glared across the bed at him.
Severus sighed. It was going to be a long wait.
Several hours later sometime after the evening meal Severus Snape was witness to an odd sight. He'd of course been expecting the arrival of Remus Lupin - Black had said as much to Harry. And truth be told Lupin looked much as he had last time Severus had seen him. What he hadn't expected to see was the way Black immediately jumped up at the sight of him, crossed the room and threw his arms around him in a fierce hug. Nor could Severus quite explain the somewhat pained look on Lupin's face as he returned the hug awkwardly. By the time Black drew back, face lit up with a brilliant smile, all sign of discomfort was gone from Lupin's face, replaced instead by concern for Harry.
"How is he?" he asked Black quietly.
Black led him over to the bed, one arm draped almost possessively over Lupin's shoulder. Seeing Severus' look of surprise, Lupin actually flushed under his gaze. Black didn't seem to notice.
"Severus," Lupin greeted with a brief nodded as he took the seat Black had just abandoned. Severus suspected he'd sat down simply to get out from under the arm Black had put around his shoulder.
"Remus," Severus greeted back, keeping his tone as cordial as he could. He was a bit baffled by the behavior he had just witnessed, quickly coming to the conclusion that something important had changed in the dynamics of the two Marauders.
He'd first seen Remus Lupin in the Great Hall during their sorting ceremony in first year. He only noticed the small, honey-haired boy because of his so obvious attempt to remain unnoticed. The boy stood apart from the rest of the first years, kept his head shyly down, darted nervous looks at those around him, not daring to even join in the excited whispers of those around him. And then the sorting had begun and Severus had seen something he remembered to this very day.
Sirius Black's name was called, and as the swaggering, cocky youth had stepped up to the platform to receive the sorting hat, Remus Lupin had looked up and fallen instantly in love. It was as if upon seeing Sirius Black he'd seen the sun, moon and stars for the first time in his life. Even at the tender age of eleven Severus had understood what had happened, had understood also somewhere in the far reaches of his soul that no one would ever look at him like that.
Sirius Black had not noticed of course. He was too busy being sorted into Gryffindor to the thunderous cheers of his new housemates. Nor did he notice the look of longing in the eyes of the boy who followed his progress to his seat. The sorting hat was shortly afterward placed on Remus Lupin's head, a long pause as the hat debated where to put him. Severus had watched for it, somehow knowing what he was going to see, and he found himself staring with something akin to awe at the incandescent joy on the boy's face when the hat had sorted him into Gryffindor as well.
He'd lost track of him after that, his own sorting sending him to Slytherin where he'd been greeted by his peers. But despite his colored history with the Marauders he'd never really forgotten that first moment - often found himself looking for that glimpse of heaven he'd seen in Remus' eyes when he stared at Sirius Black. Emotions like that were all but unknown in his world, and seeing them in Remus' eyes was like catching a glimpse into a different life.
To his knowledge in the seven years they'd been at Hogwarts Remus' devotion to Black had never wavered. To his knowledge Black had also never once figured it out, never once returned the devotion or affection so obviously waiting for him, choosing instead to spread his favors amongst vast and numerous fans.
And Severus still remembered the look of utter devastation on Remus Lupin's face when Sirius Black had been lead away to Azkaban - as if his world had completely fallen apart, and Severus supposed that for the werewolf it truly had. His friends were dead, and the love of his life was convicted of their murder. That he survived the ensuing years was miraculous.
But now something had changed, and Severus couldn't quite put his finger on what it might be. To see Remus Lupin shying away from Black's touch instead of basking in the attention? Or perhaps the man simply couldn't endure the teasing any longer. And Black. . .Severus' eyes narrowed as he watched the two men talking quietly to one another. There was something almost desperate in the way Black leaned in toward Remus, in the searching, probing gaze he kept subjecting the werewolf to - the gaze the werewolf wouldn't or couldn't meet for long.
Very interesting, Severus thought, and he found himself wondering what had happened to change things so drastically. He shouldn't care really, he told himself. It was nothing more than idle curiosity about something he'd watched for so many years, like starting a book and wanting to read the end simply because you'd already devoted so much time reading it that you felt you deserved to know what happened on the last page. Not because you really cared of course.
Ron and Hermione entered the room a moment later, the two students greeting the Marauders enthusiastically. Severus sneered at them all. A gathering of Gryffindors. Disgusting really. He supposed now would be as good a time as any to give them some time to themselves. He needed to retrieve some of Harry's belongings from their rooms as it was - Harry would want fresh clothing to wear when he was released. And he might appreciate a book to read if he was stuck here overly long.
Rising, he headed toward the door. "Keep your voices down," he growled to the lot of them as he left. He got the expected glares and for a moment debated deducting points from Gryffindor just because he could. But he didn't though - reminding himself at the last minute that like it or not he owed Ron and Hermione. They had stood by Harry when no one else had. That at least should be worthy of some courtesy from him, at least until the next potions class.
He returned after a quick shower and a change of clothing, catching a bite to eat himself before gathering up Harry's belongings. He repaired Harry's glasses, thinking briefly about a possible more permanent solution to bad eyesight, then headed back toward the hospital wing. As he entered the room Poppy was in the process of kicking the four Gryffindors out for the night, much to the protest of Black. Severus, ignoring them all, moved into the room to take up his seat at Harry's side once again. This set Black off again. "Why does he get to stay then?" he protested, practically moaning to Poppy.
"You can't stay because the whole lot of you woke the boy up when he needs to sleep, then got him all worked up despite everything," Poppy informed them. "Severus can stay because I know he won't do any of those things. Now be off with you! You can see him in the morning."
She all but shoved them out the door and slammed it in their faces. Severus looked up at her as she sighed tiredly. "Worked up?" he demanded, not certain he liked the sound of that. Harry was asleep again, but his face looked a bit flushed.
Poppy just shook her head. "What is it about Gryffindors?" she asked. "Wanted to hear all the gory details of the battle. Didn't occur to any of them that Harry might not want to talk about it just yet. The boy has never been overly willing to speak about such things; you'd think they figured it out by now."
Severus frowned. Poppy was right about Harry's reticence in speaking about anything violent. It was one of the reasons they had never known he was being abused by his family. Severus suspected that Harry would much prefer to forget it all, pretend it simply hadn't happened. He certainly took no pleasure in glorifying in it the way a typical Gryffindor might. Harry saw failure where the others saw heroics. Harry saw death and damnation where the others saw victory and glory.
"I'll be in the next room if you need anything, Severus," Poppy informed him them. "I gave Harry another infection blocker, and worked a bit more on his wounds before he fell back to sleep. He should sleep through the night. But if there's any change, come get me immediately. You can sleep there on that bed if you're feeling tired." She pointed to the bed just beside Harry's.
"Thank you, Poppy," Severus informed her. "I'll be fine."
She nodded and bid him good night. Severus settled back to wait.
It was three hours before he noticed the first signs that Harry's sleep was no longer quite so peacefully. He leaned forward, watching the boy's face, seeing the signs of strain that flickered over his features, the tightening of his lips, the frown that marred his brow. He'd half been expecting it, realizing only belatedly that with all the potions they'd poured down his throat, they hadn't given him a single Dreamless Sleep Draught, something he'd been taking consistently night after night since that first nightmare Severus had disrupted.
Uncertain what precisely to do - he didn't really want to wake Harry when he so desperately needed sleep - Severus reached out and gently touched the boy's face. He didn't want to leave him lost to the nightmares either - especially now that he understood what precisely it was he saw in them. The dead, he'd said. And now he had more dead to haunt him.
"Harry, it's alright. You're safe," he whispered softly, hand resting lightly against the boy's face. To his surprise, Harry turned in toward his touch and some of the tension eased from his face. Somewhat baffled, Severus stared down into the sleeping face. Maybe he thought he was his godfather? Maybe he imagined it was his godfather sitting here beside him and instinctively accepted comfort from his hand.
Or maybe the boy simply craved kindness so desperately that any gentle touch would sooth him.
Somehow that thought did little to assure Severus. He found his stomach twisting at the thought, and he drew back, removing his hand from Harry's skin. He shouldn't be touching him anyway. Hadn't he promised himself he wouldn't do that - wouldn't allow himself to become attached in anyway? Maybe he should have let Black remain in his place? But then Black and the rest of the Gryffindors had managed to upset Harry in spite of all the warnings.
It was only a matter of moments before Harry was moving restlessly again, the tension returning to his features and Severus debated waking him after all. Instead he just touched him again, stroked his hair back from his forehead, took hold of one his hands in his own. Again the boy stilled and calmed. Strange, he thought. No doubt the boy would be horrified if he were to wake and find his hated Potions Master touching him in any way. And no doubt Black would go through the roof if he were to enter and see Severus Snape holding the hand of his godson.
He also had no doubt that all of Gryffindor would laugh themselves sick if they realized that for just one brief, ridiculous moment Severus Snape wished that a certain green-eyed hero would look at him the way Remus Lupin had once looked at Sirius Black.
Severus woke a few hours later, to discover that he and Harry were no longer alone. Albus Dumbledore stood at the foot of Harry's bed staring thoughtfully at the two of them. Albus smiled when he realized Severus had awakened, his eyes gazing momentarily on the hand Severus still had resting on top of Harry's own. Embarrassed Severus immediately withdrew his touch. "He was having nightmares," he explained in a quiet whisper, not wanting the old man to think anything more of it.
Albus just nodded, his gaze turning thoughtful again as he looked down at Harry. The boy seemed to be sleeping fairly peacefully now, his breathing slow and even. "Do you care for him, Severus?" Albus asked, unexpectedly.
Surprised, Severus stared at him. "What?"
The old man just smiled again, almost indulgently. "Do you care for him? I know you'll protect him, but he needs more than just that. He needs emotional strength and stability."
Severus stared at the man in disbelief, wondering if he was really asking what he thought he was asking. "Albus, if that's what you're looking for, you picked the wrong person for the job. I am not a nice man. A Weasley would have been a better choice for coddling."
Albus smiled at that. "You're nicer than you let on, Severus." He sighed and shook his head. "But no, that's not what I meant. He doesn't need coddling."
"Albus, what's wrong?" Severus had known the man long enough to know he was worried about something.
The headmaster stroked his beard thoughtfully. "Nothing's wrong," he assured him. "Not precisely. I'm just concerned about Harry. He has a lot on his shoulders. We all do I suppose, but he. . ." He shook his head again. "You've spoken with him?" he asked Severus. "About his family?"
Severus' eyes narrowed. "Some," he acknowledged. "Which brings up a point I've been meaning to talk to you about. They need to be punished for what they did to him."
Albus waved his concern away with a negligent shrug. "Already taken care of, my boy," he explained. "They were suitably cursed."
"How suitably?" Severus demanded. He had several ideas in mind, and was somewhat disappointed he had not been allowed to carry them out.
Something twinkled briefly in Albus eyes, something down right vindictive and oddly enough Severus found himself strangely comforted by the idea that Albus Dumbledore could be moved by something as petty as revenge. "Well for starters they all three have come down with the most extraordinary case of claustrophobia. Incurable really. I'd venture guess that for the rest of their lives there won't be a house or building in the world big enough for them to truly feel comfortable in."
Severus thought about that, thought about what it must have been like for a small boy to spend so many years locked up in a small cupboard. Locked in the dark.
"Afraid of the dark too," Albus added as an afterthought. "Can't stand it really. Scream in holy terror when the lights go out. The mind does conjure all sorts of odd nightmares hiding in the darkness."
A lifetime of feeling trapped and terrified of things that go bump in the night. He nodded in satisfaction. "And the starvation?" he demanded. He wouldn't let that one go. Harry would probably always be small because of the malnourishment he'd suffered as a child. That should carry a life sentence as well.
"Ah," Albus nodded. "Seems they've lost all sense of taste. They can't taste a thing, will never again be able to enjoy any type of food. And from what I understand the three of them were quite fond of food - the two males particularly. I believe it was one of the few pleasures they had in life. Oh, they can still smell it, and crave it desperately, but it is a craving that will never again be satisfied."
Severus smiled at that - probably fitting it be something like that. He would have gone for something more sever he supposed - blindness or the less subtle curses like eternal boils or lice. But then Albus was probably right that the punishment should better fit the crime.
"Harry hasn't said much, but I suspect they beat him more than he claimed," Severus told the Headmaster. "I know his uncle was partial to throwing objects at him." That at least deserved an actual physical thrashing -he'd take great delight in letting Vernon Dursley know precisely what it felt like to be beaten by someone stronger than himself.
"I wouldn't mind seeing them locked in Azkaban for the rest of their lives, Severus," Albus said quietly. "For what they did to a boy I left in their care, I think I could probably kill them myself."
Shocked, Severus looked up at the headmaster, stunned he would admit such a thing. There was a sad, gentle gleam in the old man's eyes. "But I also know Harry better than that," the old man explained. "And as much as you or I or Sirius Black might want to hurt them, Harry would never forgive us or himself if something truly awful happened to them."
And of course Albus was right, but Severus didn't have to like it. "Bloody Gryffindors," he cursed softly.
"Noble Gryffindors," Albus correctly. "And Harry for all his other qualities has nobility to spare."
"Other qualities?" Severus frowned at that, suspecting that the headmaster was hinting at something there.
Albus's eyes flashed almost cheekily. "He's probably never mentioned it to anyone, but the sorting hat wanted to put him in Slytherin. Harry talked it out of it."
Shocked beyond belief Severus just stared at the man. Slytherin? Harry Potter in Slytherin? Impossible! The boy didn't have an ounce of guile. . .but then he had managed to fool the Head of Slytherin about his life and his upbringing all these years, never even a hint that he wasn't exactly what he appeared to be. He kept his nightmares a secret too from all his beloved Gryffindor followers. And over these last weeks he'd proven time and time again that he was too clever by far - turning Severus own words back on him.
Damn! Harry Potter in Slytherin. Wouldn't that have been something? No wonder Voldemort feared the boy. Wait a minute. . ."Talked it out of it? How in Merlin's name do you talk the sorting hat out of something? It's a magical artifact. It's not supposed to be ambiguous or indecisive."
Albus smiled. "Curious isn't it? And yet it still happened."
Severus let that sink in for a moment, staring down at the boy again. There was something decidedly odd about the whole thing.
"I've been doing some reading," Albus said suddenly, changing the subject. "I was curious about that spell he used. The King's Voice."
"Never heard of it," Severus admitted. "But the Granger girl is nothing if not resourceful."
"Yes," Albus agreed. "I wonder what else the two of them have researched?"
"What did you find out about the spell?"
"Apart from the fact that he shouldn't have been able to use it?" Albus asked in some amusement. Severus just rolled his eyes. Figured. Like that would ever stop Harry Potter. Albus sighed and shook his head, that thoughtful look returning to his face again, and Severus realized that something really was worrying the old man.
"What is it, Albus?"
Albus just shook his head. "They were wrong about why it fell out of use," he simply explained. "I still need to do some more research however. Some of the old texts are even hard for me to read."
"Then how did Granger learn the spell?" Severus asked. "You're not suggesting her translating skills are superior to yours?"
"Actually, I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest," Albus said in delighted amusement. "But that's not what I meant. The book they read the spell from has the spell written out quite plainly in Latin. The incantation is in numerous books. No reason for it not to be. The spell is utterly useless."
"Useless?" Severus frowned, not wanting right then to deal with Albus' assessment of Hermione's intelligence. "Those Death Eaters were controlled by something."
"Yes," Albus nodded. "Curious, isn't it?" He smiled tightly to him nodding his head. "Keep an eye on him, Severus," he told him. "We need Mr. Potter, now more than ever."
And with that he turned and left, leaving Severus alone with his sleeping bond mate. First chance Severus got, he was going to do a little bit of research of his own. But then he suspected that was precisely why Albus had mentioned this subject in the first place.