Severus watched at the swirling snow outside, January was slowly slipping away. The soft rustling of paper and scratching of a pen tugging on his ear but he refused to turn. At this point, it was a game, almost.
His therapist was silent, for now. But he was relaxed, he wasn't an idiot after all and he recognised the benefits of such form of help. Severus rebelled at first, stayed guarded and then he tested her, telling her a few minor details that he knew if she told anyone would end in the Prophet. Wizardkind couldn't resist such juicy gossips - but nothing showed up. After that, he opened just a tad bit more.
"So, are you going to open it?" she asked.
He didn't need to turn or ask; he knew exactly what she was referring to. His birthday present from Hermione still laid on his nightstand, unopened.
"Why?" he said, jarring her for reaction.
"Why not?" she didn't take the bait.
"Indeed." he chuckled. "So, what kind of trauma you are aiming to poke around today?"
"Miss Granger." she said.
"I'll admit that she is taxing, but even I wouldn't go that far to call her a trauma. A nuisance may be the more appropriate term." Severus resisted to laugh, but his chest tightened, that was wound he wasn't ready to touch, still fresh.
"And yet you kept her at your side as apprentice…" Mrs Rutledge softly hummed.
"The child needs guidance. Nuisance or not, she has a brilliant mind that needs proper stimuli if she is to reach her full potential. Even now there are but a few witches or wizards who can provide that to her. I happen to be one." he shrugged, his voice deliberately detached. Severus pretended that the snow was more interesting than the topic, but he hoped that she will take the bait.
"I wouldn't call her a child, Miss Granger is a vibrant young woman." she said, another statement.
She is toying with me. His mind growled, but his mouth seemed in odds with his reason. "She was and is my student - a child..." he stated with a tone of finality.
"And yet- you actively seek to marry her off, against her wishes." Mrs Rutledge clucked her tongue.
"I am not." he hissed, a lie but a necessary one.
"You are trying to find that boy, the one that is her magical match. Are you not?"
"I am, but that has nothing… You wouldn't understand." he shook his head. I'm losing my touch and going soft.
"My husband explained, it is not a soulmate thing or anything similar, it is more like genetic compatibility." she said.
Severus turned to her, she was smiling, that bland professional smile. He frowned, even wizards didn't know…
"It is true, the magical signature match isn't soulmate thing, but it is much more than plain genetic compatibility." he sighed. "Magic has its own ways in dealing with things. And I am sure they would require no help if she only met him." His heart fluttered painfully in his chest. "He would prove to be a perfect match for her in every aspect, not just magical one."
"You care for her." that was a statement.
"I care for all my students, always did." he replied gruffly turning again towards the window.
"I'd say your feelings for her go beyond one of a teacher for his pupil." he could hear the smile in her voice.
"Did Lucius put you up for this?" he growled, turning to stare at her.
"Mister Malfoy avoids me like a plague, he is hardly in any position to put me up to anything." she laughed.
"I wouldn't put past him, Lucius is known to go to extreme lengths if it served his purpose." he hissed.
"I do not need Misted Malfoy, I have eyes." she tilted her head.
"I suggest a visit to an ophthalmologist then." Severus was losing his patience, something he found, both, unable to control and disturbing.
"It is only natural…" she started.
"What? What is natural?" he growled at her. "To fuck my student? Is that what you suggest?"
"Do you want to?" she raised an eyebrow at him and he huffed, he won't dignify her with an answer to that question. "You know, you spent with her a lot of time, shared a bond of sorts, many intimate moments… It would be the only natural…"
"Tell me, Mrs Rutledge, how natural is for an old man to lust for a child? Where I came from they taught me it is illegal." he sneered.
"Miss Granger isn't a child, as I understand she was a year older than her peers, she had a device that aged her additionally. She told me she is already above 21. A young woman, in any world- Wizarding or Muggle."
"And 17 years my junior." he smirked.
"A difference not unheard off, even in Muggle world, if both parties are consenting…"
"Well, I am not consenting to anything, including this conversation." Severus hissed. Is she determined to gut me alive? "Today's conversation is over, I suggest that you revise your choice of topics or all our talks will end."
"Very well, we will talk about something else, but I'd like you to think about what we talked." She sighed, but he thought she looked smug. "Shall we continue where we stopped the last time?"
Severus took a deep breath and nodded. He decided to let this slip, after all, he could trust her to an extent, and he was sure that Hermione, Draco and Poppy would drag another healer, one he may not trust as much.
It was late noon, and Mrs Rutledge was long gone, but he still felt troubled. Even if she claimed she closed of all her sessions properly, he still had a feeling that each time she left an open gaping wound in his soul. This time, in addition, he had that same wound in his heart.
It is the gift, she wouldn't poke around that topic if I only opened the gift.
With an impatient hiss, he stood from his chair and Draco raised his head directing the blue worried eyes at him. He ignored the boy and made few steps grabbing the gift. Silver paper shimmered, reflecting the light if a candle. Big, green bow stood proudly at the top.
Severus groaned and ripped the paper only to reveal a wooden box. Taking a deep breath to steady his hands he pushed the lid to open. In a black velvet, there was a pin, a pin one might use on his or her robes or a cloak. Deep, dark green stone shone with fiery flecks. He picked it up, the intricate wreath of runes donned its rim, he could feel the faint trace of magic. Beneath it was a small note. He took it, placing the pin on the nightstand.
"Happy birthday Severus.
This pin is an amulet, for protection. I think, you could use one."
He blinked, reading the short note again and again.
"She gave you jewellery?!" Draco snapped him to reality, the boy was peering over his shoulder, amusement clear in his voice.
"It appears, Miss Granger, thinks I need a talisman to protect me." he grumbled.
"Father will have a field day with that one." Draco grinned.
He took the pin and shoved it under the pillow. "Your father won't hear about this." he gave Draco one of his most dangerous glances. "Did. I. Made. Myself. Clear?"
"Yes." Draco gulped and hasten back to his seat behind the table.
And as if summoned, Lucius walked into the room. The warmth grabbed his heart and spread through his chest, more because of the note than the gift itself. He stilled the feeling.
This has gone far enough.
"Lucius, just in time." he smiled at his friend.
"Oh, was I expected?" Lucius raised an eyebrow.
"You were if you came to rescue me from boredom." Severus gave his best to lighten his voice.
"A saviour, I like it better than why I came for. Draco, do try to explain to young Miss Greengrass that I am the Lord of the house, not an elf or an owl. She waits for you in the Sunroom."
"Astoria?" Draco snapped his head "Father, Severus, excuse me." the boy grinned and dashed out of the room.
"If Narcissa sees him running... Well, serves him right." Lucius frown at the door before turning to him. "I see that the Muggle healer is still alive and breathing."
"It sounds like you are disappointed." he smiled. "Shall we?"
He pointed at the chairs facing the fire. He watched as Lucius made his slow walk to the one on the right; he was leaning heavily on the cane.
"This damn weather, I don't know what is worse the cold or the dampness." Lucius groaned as he sat.
"I had in mind more serious matter to discuss than weather, Lucius." he smirked, sitting down.
"Oh, and what that might be?" Lucius gave him one conspiratory smile.
"Miss Granger. Or, more precisely, he suitors. You do know who they are." he purposely said as a fact, not willing to give Lucius space to slitter out this conversation.
"What made you think?" Lucius tried to fake surprise.
"I know you, Lucius, you have your fingers in that. Do not insult me by denying it." he smiled, leaning to pour the tea that appeared on the small table between them.
Lucius chuckled. "Can anything pass by you?"
"Hardly." he offered the cup to Lucius. "Talk."
Lucius took the cup and sighed, gazing into the fire. It seemed like Lucius was deep in the thought before he finally nodded.
~ S ~ S ~ S ~
The pain stabbed at him even when he was sitting. Lucius felt tired. Tired of pain and tired of lying. There was no way to predict how Severus would react if, or maybe there was? He won't be pleased, but this was the moment, the opening to finally tell Severus everything.
If he blows up the room, Narcissa will kill me.
He nodded, taking a sip of tea. "How long are we friends Severus?" he asked.
"Too long. Don't change the subject, Lucius." Severus glared at him.
"If you want to know the name, let me tell you under my conditions." he said, staring at the flames.
"Very well, do continue." Severus motioned at him.
"Do you know that Malfoys owe a debt to Prince family…" he started, looking the most painless way to manoeuvre through this conversation. Possibly, less likely way to avoid being hexed.
"If you are looking the way out… I am sure that the debt is far greater than naming a simple name." Severus smirked again.
"It is almost paid off. Part of it was to extend you my protection while you were in school. Not to befriend you, mind you, that I did on my own." he added in a rush, even if he kept his tone light. The different pain twisted his intestines at the thought he might lose Severus' friendship. "And certainly not to take you as my brother. I think I'm still not forgiven about that one."
"As I recall, your father wasn't too happy about it." Severus nodded, now serious.
"Yes, well, I should have rebelled more often against him. But my Grandfather made the debt to your grandfather. And it was on me to repay it. Your grandmother insisted on it." Lucius sighed.
Severus was quiet, but he watched him, wrinkles of tension around his eyes. Lucius gazed back to the fire, cold fear spreading through his chest.
"I was tasked to help you prepare to take the Prince's name, and to ensure that you are the one to continue the line."
"That explains the flock of geese you tried to surround me with. And I can understand that, not condone some of your actions, but I can go over them." Severus nodded seriously. "That, however, still does not answer my question."
"You see, your late relative, Patricia closely monitored all potential candidates, especially Muggleborns. With your penchant to Muggle— You couldn't just marry off any Muggle, it had to be at least a Muggleborn witch. And before you say anything," he rushed the words through the dry throat. "She was not your match, not even close."
Severus flinched, pulling back a bit.
"I know you loved her, and I'd forsaken our debt if you had a chance with her. But you never did, my friend. And I did my best to redirect you. Unsuccessfully, if I might add." he chuckled to hide his nervousness.
"You know as well as I do that I have no match." Severus said, his voice hard.
"You do have - one. An extremely high match, in fact," he whispered.
Severus narrowed his eyes at him. "What are you trying to tell me, Lucius?" the voice was a dangerous hiss full of pent up anger.
Lucius sighed. The time of truth has come.
~ S ~ S ~ S ~
The magical pressure, like detonation, shook the walls of the Mansion. Narcissa raised her head from the book. She stood up rushing to reach Severus' room. Even though the closed doors she could hear shouting, Severus' voice.
"...you thought to sell me out?! To tie me up to that-that-?!"
The silence lasted only briefly before she could hear Severus roaring once again. "She is my student, Lucius!"
Narcissa' eyes widened. So that's what he plotted all this time. Oh, Lucius, you should have told me, I could have done this so much better.
Another quake of magic landed on the Mansion like a pressure bubble. Narcissa frowned, whatever Lucius did, she had a debt to Severus, a debt of life, her son's life. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and walked into the room.
Severus was standing next to the fireplace, gripping the miniscule ledge placed there instead of the mantle, his fingers white from the force of the grip. Lucius looked pale, a few drops of sweat trickled down his temples, but he was still seated in the chair.
"Now, will you boys tell me what is this all about? I would like to have a roof over my head this evening, it would be highly inconvenient if I have to serve tea to my guests on the pile of rubble." she glanced from one man to another, keeping her back rigid but her voice soft.
~ S ~ S ~ S ~
Draco raised his head, he was looking at the scared eyes of Astoria after the first tremor shook the house. His brain worked fast while he jumped dragging Astoria to the fireplace.
"Maybe it is best if you go now." he ushered her into the fireplace, shoving a handful of Floo powder in her hand.
"Draco? What is going on? What…" Astoria sounded flustered
"It's Severus." he let go of her arm. "I'll explain everything but not now, now it is best if you go. I have to find her…."
"Find whom?" Astoria was still standing in the fireplace.
"Hermione." he breathed out, he had his suspicions and in this case, if his assumption was correct he would need the other female more than Hermione. In fact, Hermione might be the last person who could calm Severus now. If I am correct. "Go, please. I'll call you when things settle."
Astoria nodded and somewhat reluctantly called her home, vanishing in green flames.
Draco sprinted to his father's library, barging through the door, barely noticing wards. Pointing his wand at the frame he screamed at the empty frame.
"What did you do?"
A few sparks flew from his wand and bounced off the canvas. A female shape blinked into existence.
"What did you do?" he hissed at the frame.
"Malfoy junior, I see that manners abandoned you." Estelle raised an eyebrow.
Another blast of magical pressure shook the mansion. Draco glared at her.
"I have no time for manners, what did you do. What did you tell my father to do?" he growled
"What is going on in here?"
"Severus is going on, whatever you did, whatever my father tried is backfiring. I need to know… What did you do?" he tried hard to hide the desperation from his voice.
"Nothing- much. I suggested to your father he should be honest with Severus and tell him…" she started.
"You fool!" Draco sneered at her rushing out of the room.
In the hallway, he found mother and father, pale and frowning. His mother radiated anger, his father looked defeated. Tossing one glare at Lucius he put his hand on the handle.
"Severus is resting dear, he took Calming Draught. Let him rest." Narcissa smiled tightly at him. "I think we all could benefit from a cup of tea."
Draco followed his parent to mother' saloon, where tea was already served. Father was still pale and quiet.
"You told him, didn't you?" he asked, maybe sharper than he should have.
"Yes." Lucius nodded not looking at him.
"You should have listened to me and not that old had." he reproached, spilling all his fears in anger in those words.
"I am tired of lies…" Lucius sounded broken.
"I told you, father, Granger isn't the problem. Granger knows…" he started.
"But then…" Lucius sharply raised his head towards him.
"You do not understand, you understand nothing. If Severus extended his arm she would follow, no questions asked. Well, that might be overstatement it is Granger, after all, but… She knows, she found out during the Ball, and she refused Estelle. Not because she doesn't want but because he doesn't want."
He will have to notify Bucktooth about this, but not today, he had to think first.