I sat down on the hallway floor and felt like the terrible villain I was. I blamed Kim for being so mean and here I was doing the same. I knew I meant no harm when I wrote the Duncan Chronicles, all I wanted was to get into the club so that I could qualify to be voted for president.
"It's probably not my fault after all," I said to calm myself.
I had social studies and was late already so I decided to skip class. I went to the bathroom for some peaceful moment (I knew I would never get some in the class). I looked at myself in the mirror for minutes. I couldn't look away, I had to move my body to be sure I was looking at my reflection. I felt like I was seeing a different person in the mirror.
"This isn't me". I said and the mirror reflected the same words.
I was taller(about five feet five), my hair felt and looked fuller and my eyes had black bags under them(a result of too much thinking, crying and less sleeping).
"You need to do something about your look Marvel". I said to myself again but I was sure it was something more than just my look. I could not place what it was but I realized that something is different about me.
The once smiling Marvel is now a shadow of herself. That smile is gone and replaced by an alien expression I couldn't even recognize. I looked like I could fit in the role of a haunted person in a horror movie. It occurred to me, I looked and felt different because I was different. I am not a nice new girl from Allentown who just wants to go to school and back home every day without being noticed. I didn't find attention, attention found me. I looked up at this realization and told myself in the mirror.
"This is all Kim's fault. If she hadn't photocopied my diary, I wouldn't have gotten into trouble and if I didn't get into trouble I wouldn't have found myself in Kyla McAllister's claws. Kim made attention find me, she brought me into this stupid spotlight I never wanted in the first place. She put me into all of this mess and she it's going to pay dearly for it". I broke down and cried.
I caused all of this mess and here I am planning revenge. If all is this is not my fault, then it isn't Kim's fault either. We are both in the same boat. I have my issues and she most likely has hers too and it's not fair to blame her for something she has no control over. Someone has to be blamed for all of this, isn't it? But whose fault is it?
Kyla McAllister's? My mum's? Mike's?
I had a lot of questions in my head and my head tended to blow off from all of the overthinking that I am doing.
The bell rang for lunch and I left the bathroom for the cafeteria. I dragged my skirt down and brushed my hair with my fingers while I walked to the cafeteria. I wasn't the type to bring lunch from home so I had to buy my food during lunchtime. That was the first time I ever went to the cafeteria. Ever since I came, I had no one to have lunch with and it was useless going to the cafeteria if you are only going to sit all alone.
"Today's different I guess". I said as I walked into the cafeteria.
The room was painted with cream and butter colour and was very large, the largest cafeteria I had ever seen and the plainest too. The room had long benches, long enough for about four people to sit on and equally long tables too. The tables and benches were painted with the lightest shade of yellow with cream stripes. Each table had one bench on either side. There were about fifty tables and each table could seat eight to ten people. Most students were sitting in twos and threes since there were only about two hundred students in the final year building.
I walked to the counter and ordered a cup of coffee and chocolate biscuits. I paid for my food and walked to the numerous tables looking for an empty one. I spotted one and walked towards it. I sat down and began munching my chocolate biscuits quietly. For a public school, Duncan high school had everything ranging from large classrooms to swimming pools, gym and science classes. It would have been the best school ever if not for the cool kids, the popular girl and her bully of an aunt going around acting like they own the place.
"Is this seat taken?". A sweet masculine voice broke into my thoughts. It was Ryan's.
"No, not at all". I smiled.
"Great then". He said and smiled back at me.
"So how was your day?". I was being polite. The truth was didn't care about anyone's day since mine wasn't going too well.
"Great". He answered honestly.
"You never have any problems do you?". I asked and he laughed.
"Wait you are serious?". He said when he saw that I was not laughing.
"Do I look like am joking?". I asked, frustrated that he was making fun of my situation.
"Am sorry, I didn't realize you were serious".
"Well now you know so answer my question".
"Let's just say that I do not spend too much time worrying about what others would think of me".
"That didn't turn out well for me". I said.
"It's different Babe". He answered simply
"How?" I didn't get him.
"It's only because though you do not worry what people think, you go around doing things without thinking it through".
"Don't judge me".
"I am not judging you or anyone. What am saying is that I, for instance, have the full potentials to be a jock yet I chose to be a nerd. I am just not a nerdy nerd like the one who gets bullied and can't stand up for himself. I am a nerd only because people think I am. If am to judge I will say that am cool, I am not just viewed that way by others but I do not care. Babe, I have the potentials to be cool. I have the potentials to be like Marc or any of those other cool guys but I chose not to because I do not want problems for myself. I want to be an engineer and nothing is going to come in my way, not even the slightest distraction".
"I have something I want to be too or don't you think so?". I was getting angry.
"Maybe...."He shrugged.
"Maybe?" I didn't let him finish.
"Calm down Babe".
"Calm down? So you are telling me to calm down. It's easy for you to say, isn't it? You don't have problems to go through, you don't have issues to face and here you are playing "the students' counsellor" ".
"What are you talking about Babe. Where is all of this coming from?".
"Are you asking me? I should be asking you then".
"What?".
"Don't judge me unless you know me. Don't judge me unless you are in my shoes. Don't criticize me unless you have been through my pain. Try stepping in my shoes and see if it fits. If it fits, try seeing if it hurts".
"Babe". He reached out to me.
"Don't....". I cut him off and rebuffed.
I walked away and left my food on the table.
I walked to back to the class and fumed silently. I brought out my phone and tried going on social media to get the fury off my mind. It didn't work so I resorted to putting my head on the table to rest my mind. My head was on the table for about ten minutes before the bell rang for the next class. I stood up immediately to go to class, I wasn't ready to get into an argument with anyone and being early to class was going to help me with that. My next class was Algebra and was my second best subject, the best being Trig.
Unfortunately, Ryan attended that class too.
"Sit down please". The Algebra teacher said to me as soon as I came in. Funny enough, despite the fact that I was early, the class was almost full.
The teacher seemed nice and welcoming. I could bet that I would like her. She is young (probably in her late twenties) with blonde hair and the bluest kind of blue eyes and about five feet seven inches tall. She was attractively dressed in a pink top and khaki-coloured fitting skirt. She could play the role of an attractive teacher in a high school musical.
"I am a substitute teacher. Your Algebra teacher Mrs Lee put to birth so I will be teaching you Algebra till the end of the semester. I am Ms Luna and I hope that we all get along well". She explained.
"So she is a substitute teacher. I hope the real teacher never comes back". I thought to myself though it wasn't a very healthy thing to think. I had being a bit of a jerk these past few days. Well, maybe a lot of a jerk.
"Young miss". She called me
"Yes, Ms Luna".
"Please have a seat". She pointed to a seat beside Ryan. I looked around and saw that it was the only available seat in the class.
"Hey". I said to him but he didn't respond.
"Today we will be discussing the methods of solving the simultaneous equations". Ms Luna said on.
"I am talking to you Ryan". I said again.
"What is your name?". Ms Luna turned to ask me.
"Uhm Barbara".
"Oh Barbie doll, you are disturbing my class please".
"I am so sorry, please pardon me".
"Of course I will". She turned back to the board and continued to teach.
The class ended and everyone started leaving.
"Wait, Ryan". I held his arm.
"I don't have time for to this".
"Pls wait, I am so sorry about my reaction earlier. I am going through a lot of issues right now.....".
"Personal issues are no reason to be a jerk". He said angrily.
"Ouch". I said and he smiled.
"I am sorry, I didn't mean it like that".
"If it makes you forgive me then it's no problem".
"I forgive you plus I owe you a cup of coffee or latte".
"I will own you up to it".
"No problem".
We laughed and walked out of the class hand in hand