Caiden was there. Right in front of me. His appearance hasn't changed at all. His white hair was still long. His nails were still long. He still had that red kimono on him.
But his eyes.
His eyes were looking at me. And not just looking. They were recognizing me.
"Caiden. You're back."
He nodded and smiled. A relieved smile. A happy smile. A smile which made my body warm up instantly.
I jumped on him, throwing my hands around him and hugging him so tightly that I was afraid he couldn't breathe anymore.
I was so happy. He was back. The Caiden I knew. My friend. I was so relieved that I started crying without noticing it. He pushed me back gently and, with his head laying on the ground, raised a hand and whipped away my tears.
"It's good to be back. It's enough to live a shitty past just once. Now, human, I'd appreciate it if you can move over. You're quite heavy."
I rolled my eyes and obeyed his command. I lent him my hand and he took it, raising his upper body with a pained expression.
"What can we do now? You're back, which is fantastic, but we still need to get out of here..." I widened my eyes, remembering one crucial detail. "Where's your sword?"
He shook his head. "Do you think Kasho is stupid? He took it with him."
I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Then... what did you do the first time when all this happened?"
A corner of his mouth turned upwards. "Ivy. This is all an illusion. It's a fake world. Do you think Lucifer is stupid enough to meddle with the past? The only thing that, indeed, is real in this world is my sword. Because I had it at me all this time."
"Did you?" I said, frowning my eyebrows, not understanding exactly what was going on.
He chuckled and touched the pendant. "You had it until now. It's within the pendant."
I blinked twice, staring at his hand where the pendant was. "How... when..."
He sighed, clenching his fist and the light came again, but not as strong as before. Right in front of my eyes, the small pendant grew into a sword, falling on the hard ground.
He took it in his hands, admiring its sharp surface. "After Kasho betrayed me, I fought him and took it back. For the next one hundred years, I used it a lot, but when the gun era came, it wasn't useful anymore. I couldn't throw it away, so I implanted it within my mother's pendant."
"That's perfect!" I said, excited for the first time in the last week. "Then we're ready! We can go back!"
Caiden grimaced, as he let down the sword. "I'm afraid it's not that simple. We need a mirror."
"A mirror?"
"Yes. The time-traveling general... portal. But, as you can see, we don't have one here."
I closed my eyes for a few seconds. We still had a lot of problems. We still needed a piece to complete the puzzle. Nothing was completely done as I thought. But how could we escape? I couldn't do much. I didn't have anything special, besides my useless bad luck. Caiden was weakened as well. There was nothing...
I widened my eyes, thing which made Caiden look instantly at my face. "Jessica. We have Jessica. We can still do something. She will notice I'm missing. Hell, she's probably looking for me right now. We just have to wait."
Caiden blinked slowly, watching me confused. "Jessica? Do you mean Xsilia? She's here?" He exhaled sharply like something heavy was taken off his back. "I thought Lucifer killed her. I'm relieved."
I chuckled and he threw me an annoyed glance. "You said you're trusting nobody. Has that changed?"
One corner of his mouth turned upwards. "Don't underestimate me, human. My affection has nothing to do with trust."
"Affection? Do you... love her?"
His expression changed, his eyebrows raising. I was surprised by what I said just like him. "No. It's just an amicable affection. She's annoying and probably will stab me in the back if she thinks her life will be better, but I'm not made of stone. She's quite funny sometimes. But... why would you ask something like that?"
I laughed nervously and gave him a dismissive wave of my hand. "Nothing, I'm just a stupid human, don't mind me. Anyways... what are we gonna do until she rescues us...? I would like to get some sleep. Kasho kind of kidnapped me in the middle of the night and even though I don't know what time is now..."
"Ivy."
I stopped blabbering in an instant. Something in his voice, the way he pronounced my name made me blush nervously, knowing he was annoyed by the fact that I was changing the subject. He sighed, leaning his back against the wall behind him and looked up at the cave's ceiling for a few seconds. Then, with a pained grimace, he bored his eyes, his snowy, calm eyes into mine. "If you have something to say, say it. Stop beating around the bush. It's not like you."
My cheeks were burning. Finding out demons were real? Fine. Witness a fight between them and some hell hounds? Okay. Make my family forget me? Painful, but still fine. Make a deal with the devil and go back in the past to rescue a demon and save the dimensions? Kind of hard, but manageable.
Realize that I might have feelings for the demon who was standing right in front of me and confess them?
Not so easy.
I wasn't the type to confess. My relationships existed only because the other party confessed. Not me. I would've never done that. It was embarrassing. The anxiety was killing me. I was afraid of rejection. I could acknowledge it through people's indirect gestures and words. But to face it? Never.
Stupid Ivy. Does it matter? The rejection? He's a demon. He would never look at you anyway. So, where's the risk? Just say it. Take off the burden.
I closed my eyes and exhaled slowly. There was no risk, indeed. I didn't have anything to lose or gain. I was just stating the facts and Caiden would've probably agreed with me.
"Well. You probably noticed. I have no idea how, because I met literally two weeks ago, but I guess tragedy draws people together, right?" He lifted an eyebrow. I sighed. "What I want to say is... I mean it doesn't necessarily affects you and I shouldn't probably say it anyway... in fact, why would we care about something like this in our situation...?"
"Ivy."
"Yes?"
"Say it already."
I drew a deep breath. "Okay, I think I might have feelings for you."
"Oh."
I blinked twice, watching his expression becoming totally impassable. "Oh? That's all you're gonna say?"
He blinked slowly, still looking right into my eyes. "What do you want me to say? I didn't expect that."
"What did you expect? I mean really, why did you put me say it? You knew what I was going to say!" I yelled at him, getting to my feet and starting walking in circles once again.
He shrugged. "I sensed you becoming embarrassed, but, to be honest, I was expecting you to tell me close my eyes because you might need to pee."
"Really." I showed him my perfect poker face, not believing that, for the first time I met him, he didn't anticipate my thoughts.
At least I'm sure now that he's not a mind reader.
"Well... you were biting your lip and moving your legs when we were talking about Jessica, so... Oh. I'm stupid."
I cracked up. I couldn't believe it. "I think that demon blood is messing up your head."
"Probably."
He sighed sharply and grimaced again. He was drowning in sweat. He wasn't well and I had no idea what I could've done for him. I wanted to help him. Jessica was surely coming after us. We just needed more time...
"I don't know what to say, human. You totally confused me." He began to laugh, but his laughter turned into a pained cough which made me grimace. He was really hurt by that poison. "I really wasn't expecting that. I can't tell you anything about this matter now. My brain is not working properly, as you can see."
I shook my head and kneeled in front of him. "Don't even bother with my stupid words. Just focus on staying awake and conscious. I need you."
He chuckled. "I'm useless now, Ivy. If someone comes and it's not Jessica, I will distract them until you run. Here. Take this."
He took my hand and placed the original pendant, the one which he gave me in the present, on my palm. "Make sure to give it to Lucifer. If he touches it, he surely can open it and get the sword. Make him repair the dimensions."
"What the hell are you saying now?" I asked him, scared of the real meaning behind his words.
He smiled, his eyes getting even narrower. "You know what I mean. Not all of us have to live. If I die, but the dimensions are repaired, it's worth it."
I closed my eyes for a few seconds. I wanted to kill him myself. He struggled so much, from following Emily and I, from battling with Lucifer to reliving his painful past and, after all of it, he still thought he had to sacrifice himself? He sounded... like those stupid heroes, which I hated when I was a child. I hated the meaning of sacrifice. I did some on my own, that was true, but I hated it. I hated with all of my heart.
But there was no point in arguing with him at that moment. His look seemed pretty determined. He wasn't going to give up. Plus... the fact that the demon blood was in his system was an important factor.
"I'm not gonna argue with you. I don't know what's going to happen. But have this in mind: don't you dare think of yourself as a sacrifice. Push your limits. Do what you have to do. Fight. Get wounded. But, always have this in your mind: you have to live. You will do everything, knowing that you have to live. If you're going to fight, with death in your mind, you will die. But if you tell yourself: I'm not gonna die now, everything changes. Please do it."
His serious face changed abruptly into an amused expression. "When did you become so wise, Ivy?"
I shrugged. "Guess everybody changes when they have to save the world."
He looked into my eyes and my heart almost stopped beating. His expression seemed... proud. Like I was his and he saw my evolution all this time. And he was proud of who I became.
For a few seconds, none of us said a word. We were just staring into each other's eyes, thinking about what I just said. Finally, he nodded and I exhaled in relief. "I will live. I'm not going to die. Is this better?"
I smiled, nodding. "Much better. And... I have something more to say."
He chuckled. "More encouraging words?"
I grimaced. "Nope. Close your eyes. I have to pee."