The day that Elise came over after her first day of work was the beginning of my plans for a future with her.
She had given me the notebook back at the end of school, and she had to leave to get to her first day of work. I was disappointed that I wasn't going to be able to spend time with her, but I had known this day was coming. I figure, perhaps, I should also get a job, but I definitely shouldn't work at the same place she does. I went home and threw myself on my bed.
I had been spending so much time with her, and still I hadn't had enough. It suddenly occurred to me that I hadn't really talked or hung out with Weston since Elise became my girlfriend. I sat up and pulled out my phone.
The phone rang twice, and I was almost sure he wasn't going to answer, but the phone clicked, and I said, "Hello? Wes? Ya there?"
I heard some voices in the background, then Weston said, "Hello?"
"Hey, Wes! It's Finn."
"Oh, hey dude. What's shakin'?"
"Not much right now, but I just realized I haven't seen you or talked to you in a while."
"Yeah, man. It's cool though. I get it. If I had a girlfriend, I'd probably be spending all my time with her too, ya know. Not really wanting anyone else around." He said this with a hinting tone. He was not entirely wrong. Though Elise and I weren't doing what he thought we were doing, we still didn't want anyone around. I could never tell anyone else outside the circle about Elise being a snake, and the training involved to make sure she wasn't a snake forever, or even how she came to be a snake. But I played on Weston's original line of thought so he wouldn't be suspicious.
"Yeah, definitely. So, this weekend is her birthday. She's gonna come over and I'm gonna make sure it's really special for her, ya know. But maybe we can all hang out next weekend or something? Maybe catch a movie or whatever. Or you and I can just hang out, if you want. Listen to music and play videogames."
"Sure, man. That's cool. Or whatever. Oh, and listen. My folks are gonna be out of town for Halloween, so I'm throwing a Halloween party for some chill people. You and your girl should come. I know you do Halloween stuff at home, but dude! It's gonna be awesome. At least stop by and show off your costume or something."
"Yeah, maybe. I'll ask Elise how she feels about it. But I'll see you at school. Run into me in the hallway sometime."
"Don't threaten me with a good time," he said. "Ok, well, look dude. I've gotta get off here, I'm at the skatepark and Scott is about to rip it up. I'll see ya."
"Ok, Wes. Talk to you later."
"Yeah, bye dude." And with that, he hung up the phone. I guess I didn't have anything to be worried about after all.
Halloween. Or in my case, Samhain, is special. It's like a Pagan New Year. The harvest is celebrated, and the veil is thin. We honor our ancestors and purge ourselves of negative things we don't need to hold on to, or draw to ourselves things that we need or want in our lives. Fires are lit to ward the cold of winter and to burn away the things we purge ourselves of. My family usually makes a whole day of it. My parents took me trick-or-treating a few times when I was young, but we started celebrating at home when I started training. Last year, after we moved to this small town and I had made friends with Weston, he tried to talk me into going to a costume party at one of his brother's friend's house, but I told him my family did our own things. They would have let me go if I wanted to, but I wanted to spend time setting up my shed. This year is different. I never really wanted to dress in costume that wasn't for ritual before, but I would love to see Elise dressed up.
First and foremost, she needs to level up. She has a long way to go, but since I'm training for priesthood, it would be great to have a priestess that I love rather than just one that I trust.
Thinking about Elise like this reminded me that I hadn't read her letter yet. I pulled out the notebook and flipped to the most recent note. After reading her note, with all her talk of feeling confident, and feeling a connection to me, and even down to her misspelling of our Gaelic endearment, I felt exhilarated. I wrote my response letter on the next page.
"My Dearest Elise,
I'm glad to hear that you are feeling your own power now. It will only get stronger the more you learn and become sure of yourself.
It's funny you mentioned that you thought of me as a prince. My magickal name, Breandan BlackMoon, actually means Prince Black Moon. But you, my darling, are no simple peasant girl. At least, not anymore.
I feel the connection to you as well, and I promise I will always find you if we are ever separated, but I also promise to keep you close to me as long and as often as possible. You shall always have my heart too.
I'm glad you're ready now. We'll talk later. I love you, Mo Cuishle.
Eternally yours also,
Finn."
After looking over my response, I thought of handfasting. I added to my note.
"P.S. There is a promise ceremony we can do, if you want. It basically just declares that we promise ourselves -body, heart, and soul- to each other. It can be renewed every year. It's an old tradition that goes back to when daughters were promised to sons of other Clans, but the sentiment of the gesture itself is romantic. What do you think?"
I closed the notebook and stared at my hands. I should give Elise a ring. I stood to go out to my shed and pilfer through my jewelry chest, but my dad yelled for me down the hall, so I went to the kitchen instead.
To my joyful surprise, Elise was here. She wasn't able to work her first shift until she got the right shoes. My parents and I went with her into the living room and she told them she is ready to begin training. My dad had to prepare, so before dinner Elise and I went into my room. She had to call her mom to let her know she was having dinner with us. Elise and her mom seem to have a deep relationship, which is understandable because she is an only child, and it's just been her and her mom for a long time.
I gave her an extra journal I had. Then, I wondered how she would do with Dolores, now that she is also part snake. It went alright until my dad came to tell us dinner was ready. We put Dolores away and washed our hands.
As soon as we got to the table, my parents couldn't help themselves and made a joke. I tried not to laugh, but Elise didn't get it, and when I explained it to her, she got really uncomfortable. I keep forgetting how sheltered she is. She's so sweet and innocent, even though she is trying to break out of her shell a little more. My parents excused themselves to the living room, which almost made it more awkward, but she relaxed and we had a nice meal in semi-private. I think I'll plan a special date night with her sometime. Elise was worried about holding my hand or kissing me in front of my parents. My parents wouldn't mind, but I understand that she is careful in front of her mom, so I'll have to be more restrained. It's good, though. I think I should move slow with Elise. Not that I've ever moved very fast with anyone else since I haven't really had any other girlfriends, but Elise is special, and just like you build the energy for magic, you must also build the passion in relationships. I think I've heard my parents say that before. The way I understand it is that anticipation makes the satisfaction sweeter. I want Elise to understand magic enough that when it happens, we both feel it with the same intensity. I want to enact the Great Rite with her more than ever, but the preparation for it will take a long time to cultivate.
I kissed Elise, and I don't know if she can tell just how much I love her, but I will show her. She is my Earthly goddess. Then, she told me we would have to hide our affection in front of her mom, which I figured. But the way she said it, with such surety and command, sparked something within me.
We finished our meal and joined my parents in the living room. My dad began his teaching. I answered a few questions with Elise to fill my dad in on what I've tried to explain so far, but then he took the lead. I listened and watched Elise as she took her notes and absorbed what my dad was saying. She is still timid, but she wants it. She wants to learn, and she wants to feel, and she wants to create.
As I continued to watch and listen to the lesson, I thought about how I should prepare for the Great Rite. It would be best to do this after our handfasting, if she wants to do that. Sort of as a way to consummate our promise to each other. That would also be a great time to give her a ring, a symbol of eternal and infinite love and protection. Though, handfasting isn't like an official marriage. It's more like an engagement ceremony, but we're seventeen. As much as I love her, I'm not naïve enough to claim I'm ready for something like that. I will promise myself to her forever, but I have to be sure she is ready for that as well. And our relationship is extremely young, so I would be perfectly happy enough to wait until we are at least out of high school.
Elise checked the time and had to go home, so I walked her out. She looked pensive, but happy. She didn't say much, so I didn't either. She had much to reflect on. Before she got in her car, she kissed my cheek. Somehow, that left me tingling more than a full kiss because it was so brief and light. Her lips were cold, but where they touched my cheek felt electrified. I held onto the remnants of the kiss as I watched her taillights disappear down my driveway.
I went back inside, and my parents were standing in the hallway watching me.
"What?" I asked them.
"Nothing," they both said. Then, my dad said, "Elise is getting there. She really seems to be taking it all in, but she still has a ways to go."
I said nothing. I didn't expect her to be ready to level up right away, but I was getting worried about how much time she had left. There were two days left until her birthday, and we didn't know how long the amulet would hold. I loved her, and I wanted to do so much with her. My mom, ever perceptive as she is, came and wrapped me in a hug. My dad patted my shoulder. When we pulled apart, I finally said, "Mom, Dad. I want to promise myself to Elise. I was wondering if you would perform a handfasting for us."
My mom shrugged her shoulders excitedly with a big smile on her face while she smacked my dad's arm with the back of her hand. My dad grinned and steadied her hand from hitting him. They looked at each other, and they said everything with their eyes. My mom's smile faded, but didn't disappear entirely. She nodded her head, and they looked back at me.
"Son," my dad began, "we love Elise, and we are very happy that you two feel so strongly about each other, but," my mom finished his sentence, "we think you both are still too young to make a promise like this."
"I know it's not like a real marriage, and maybe I will marry her one day, but a handfasting promise would bind us together in a way that simply words would not." I pleaded with them. My mom looked sympathetic, but my dad looked serious. My mom glanced at him and closed her eyes to find a better solution.
"What if you just waited until you graduate high school? We could do it then, if you still want to." My mom said this looking back and forth between me and my dad. My dad's expression softened, and he finally said, "Yes, I would be alright with that. You both would have time to get to know each other better, and you'll be more equipped to make the decision then."
I nodded. "Ok. Thanks." I was disappointed, but they didn't outright refuse, so that was something. They patted my shoulders as I walked past them to go to my room. I stood before my bookshelf and looked for a book that would tell me more about the Great Rite. When I found the book I was looking for, I arranged my pillows on my bed so I could lean up against them and read for a while before I got ready for bed.
I was nearly asleep, with the book laying open on my stomach, when Elise texted me that she had written her first entry in her journal, I put the book aside and called her.
She asked me about a magickal name, and I did my best to explain it to her. She is trying to discover what she wants to call herself. Sometimes there are transformations that you choose. This is a big step for her in taking control of her own power and claiming it. I loved her, and after reading more on the Great Rite, I didn't know how I would explain it to her. Even though the Great Rite is sexual, it isn't too. It's about the joining of masculine and feminine. The cup and the sword. The seed and the fertilizer. The female and male coming together mind, body, and soul. When she claimed her power, I wasn't sure if I could control myself around her to hold back enough to wait until after graduation.
After I got off the phone with her, the evidence of my thoughts about the Great Rite and Elise claiming her power pressed against the zipper of my pants. I decided to take a shower before bed to release, but it wasn't as satisfying as I hoped it would be. I put on some fresh underwear and some pajama pants, went and got a glass of water from the kitchen, and laid in bed thinking of the words I would say in my vow to Elise for our handfasting.